A Lasting Love
by kat3411
Summary: This story begins in the middle of Breaking Dawn. Jacob flees right as Bella is changed and does not imprint on the baby.  He becomes close friends with his Beta and soon they both find they have feelings they thought never to have again . . .
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters – they belong to Stephanie Meyer. I just don't happen to agree on how she used them.

A/N: This story begins in the middle of Breaking Dawn, right after Bella has the freaky hybrid and is turned into a vampire. No imprinting on the demon spawn for Jacob in this story. He doesn't deserve that. He deserves a real woman. In this story, he gets one.

**CHAPTER 1**

**Jake POV:**

The night closed around in me as I ran through the forest, the wind whipping through my fur. Relishing the darkness, I ran harder, trying to fade into it as I had no idea where I was going nor did I care. I willed the wolf to take me far away from here . . . away from the crippling pain that was quickly swallowing me. _I should never have come back here. I had made the transition to wolf and was finding some peace._ _Why did I give into the urge to come back and go to her wedding? What the hell was I thinking? And I stuck around, torturing myself day after day, giving up everything for her . . . my family, my pack. Loving Bella had brought nothing but gut-wrenching pain to my life, and yet, I ran to her over and over. And now, she is his . . . forever._ Searing pain ripped through my chest yet again at that thought. _My Bella is gone . . . forever._

Phasing out of my wolf body, I stumbled over to a small stream and fell to my knees to dip my hands in the water to wash away the blood . . . Bella's blood. It was still clinging to my hands where I had tried so hard to keep her heart beating. Suddenly I felt like it was burning me as I scrubbed my hands trying hard to get it off of me. Hot tears slid down my cheek as I rubbed and rubbed . . . _why? Why, why, why, why? _ That word haunted me and kept repeating itself over and over . . . _why did she do this? Why didn't she pick me?_

Shaking the water from my hands, I finally pushed myself to my feet and stumbled around, wondering what I should do now . . . where should I go? Not knowing where else to go, I gave into the exhaustion I felt and fell to the ground. I wanted to be numb. I wanted to die. 

**Leah POV:**

I was patrolling along the border of the coven house when suddenly Jake flew by me like he was on fire! _What the hell? Where is he going? " Jake! Jake, stop! Come back!_"

Just then, my brother, Seth, came up beside me. _"Where's he going?" _

"_I don't know. What happened in there? I take it Bella had the monster?" _I tuned into Jake's thoughts and saw the whole bloody mess play out before me: _Jake and Edward standing over her as this thing came out and was taken away. Jake trying desperately to keep her heart going . . . and then Edward plunging a huge syringe into her heart . . . _

Seth added_, "Edward put vampire venom right into her heart to save her. She's . . ."_

"_A fucking leech now," _I finished for him. Well, at least it was over and we could get the hell away from here. I had no love for the leeches. I was only here because I had to be. Jake was my Alpha now, and where he went, I had to follow, even though I hated being here and watching Jake put himself through such pain, day after day, all because of _her_. _ Jake . . . _his heart had just been shattered into millions of tiny pieces.

"_I'm going after Jake. Seth, you go to Sam and tell him what's happened."_

"_I can't go to Sam. I belong to this pack now, just like you, Leah. I'm going with you."_

"_Don't argue with me! I'm giving you a Beta order to go and tell Sam. I have to find Jake. NOW GO!"_

"_Damnit, Leah,"_ Seth grumbled, but he went. He _had_ to follow my order, even though it pissed him off. Seth hated the fact that Jake had made me Beta instead of him. He was a part of this pack first, so I guess I could see his point, but whatever . . . shut up and deal.

Taking off into the dark where Jake had disappeared, I ran hard knowing I had the speed to overtake him. As I ran, I connected to his thoughts and could feel his pain consume him. _"Jake. Talk to me." _ Suddenly his thoughts were gone and it was quiet . . . too quiet. Assuming he must have phased out to keep his thoughts and his pain to himself, I quickly picked up his scent and followed it into a small clearing in the woods where I found Jacob lying naked, in human form, curled into a ball on the hard ground. Padding over, I nudged him with my nose. "Go away, Leah. Just leave me alone," I heard him mumble into the dirt.

Never one to do what I was told, I nudged Jacob again. "I mean it! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" he screamed.

Ignoring Jacob's wishes once again, I lay down behind him. I couldn't leave him. I was his Beta. I would stay and wait. 

**Jake POV:**

Somehow, time went on. The moon rose and showed itself just above the trees as the forest came alive with sounds of the night: crickets, bull frogs . . . and unfortunately, I was still breathing. I had no idea how long I had been lying here. With my eyes closed, all I could see was blood . . . the scent of Bella's blood was still hanging on me. The hole in my chest ached until I couldn't stand the pain and I was shocked as this horrible wail escaped from my throat and pierced the night air.

Suddenly, I felt hands on me, pulling me up and arms surrounding me and holding me. I clung to the soft, warm body as lips touched my forehead then my cheek then instinctively I turned my head to meet those lips and they moved with mine then opened to my tongue. There was hot skin against mine and I reached out to run my hands over it_. I had waited so long for her to come to me. To let me touch her like this. _ Moving my lips to her shoulder, I bit into it as she cried out. Hands moved and grabbed and grazed and touched . . . before long, I was rock hard and throbbing, desperate for a release. Rolling her to her back, I plunged into her and rocked frantically trying to find it. A shudder went through me as I emptied into her and I collapsed, letting out a sob. Those arms stayed around me and held me tight until I could finally catch my breath to roll off and lay on my back. My face was wet with hot tears as I finally opened my eyes and the realization of what just happened sunk in.

I was staring into the night sky at the stars as her breath brushed my cheek. Turning my head, there was Leah, lying on her side, her black hair covering part of her face, watching me with wary eyes. _It really happened. It wasn't just a dream. Not Bella. _"Leah," I said hesitantly.

Leah touched her finger to my lips and whispered, "Jake, don't. I understand."

"I don't," I admitted. I had never felt like that . . . it was almost . . . _primal._

Reaching out, Leah touched my cheek and I could see tears in her eyes. "Jake, I could feel your pain. It was . . . _tortuous_. What you went through . . . ." Her compassion surprised me, but I didn't deserve it.

Feeling so guilty at how I had just used her, I rolled away from her and stared out into the darkness to try and make sense of everything I had just been through. But it made no sense to me. Bella was everything to me, my whole world, _e__ven though she never belonged to me. _ Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to make myself believe that she was one of _them_. She belonged completely to _him_ now. I had known it was coming . . . she told me over and over, but I always held on to that dream that maybe . . . just maybe she would change her mind and pick me. But she married him. I saw her, after the wedding, and she was so beautiful, and we danced and I felt her heart beating with mine and I knew she loved me. She finally admitted it to herself . . . but it wasn't enough. I could feel fresh tears run as I wondered, _why was I never enough for her? _

And then I let her talk me into staying and watching her day after day as that fucking thing inside sucked the life out of her. My body tensed and my hands curled into fists as the memories flooded my mind yet again . . . at the end. . . it was so violent, so much blood. Bella sacrificed everything for that . . . freak of a baby! My stomach suddenly began churning and a shudder ran through my whole body as I rolled to my side to puke my guts out.

"Jake? Are you alright?" Leah touched my arm and I froze. _Oh, God, and then there was Leah. S_o shocked at my behavior, I couldn't look at her. I just gave up my virginity in one frantic moment. Not that it was that important to hold onto now since the girl I loved and was waiting for was now married to someone else.

I swiped my arm over my mouth and let out a loud belch then lied to Leah, "Yeah, I'm OK. Sorry."

Rolling again to my back, I stared at the sky as Leah sat up to say, "Jake, let's just go. Let's get the hell out of here. There's nothing holding you here now. Remember what we talked about that day in the woods? We could be a pack of two. Maybe head towards Seattle and blend into the city for awhile. I can go my way and you can go yours, or we can stay together, it's up to you. But I can't stay here any longer and neither should you. You've been tortured for way too long. It's time it stops. You don't deserve this, Jake."

_I just wanted to lay here and die. Why couldn't she leave me the fuck alone?_ If I did leave here, I would go wolf again, not human. Blending into the forest was easier than blending into society.

"Jake? Tell me what you're thinking. Please . . . just say something," Leah pleaded quietly.

I finally turned to look at her and was thankful to see she had pulled on a pair of black gym shorts and a worn yellow tank top. Realizing I had shred my clothes when I phased on the run, I sat up and covered myself as best as possible before answering, "Leah, I don't know what I want to do right now. I know I can't stay here, but there is no reason for you to leave. I never wanted to be the Alpha of a pack, you know that. You don't have to follow me."

Leah lowered her head then I heard her say softly, "It's not so much a pack thing as it is a Sam thing. This gaping hole in my chest is never going to close as long as I am here, watching him shack up with my cousin." Then lifting her head, she said angrily, "I can't take it anymore, Jake. I can't fucking take it! You know that's why I joined your pack in the first place. I needed to get away from _him_ and his thoughts, and his orders and his never-ending presence in my life." Grabbing my arm, she pleaded with her dark eyes, "Please, Jake, I can't go back to that."

I got what she was saying, but before I could answer, Leah added, "Look, I have money in the bank. When Dad died, he left me some. It's not a lot, but it's enough to get us started. I can sneak home, pack a bag, grab the money and meet you back here. We can just disappear."

_God, that did sound tempting._ _Just disappear_. _No expectations on me_. Leah stared into my eyes and I knew she could see me wavering. "Jake? Please?"

I hung my head as I thought, _I really have nothing to live for, so what was the point?_ With a sigh, I told her, "Look, Leah, I just want to lay here and die, OK? I have nothing left. Do what you want. As your great fucking Alpha, I release you from my pack. Now please just leave me alone." Laying back, I rolled away from her again, hoping for once she would just listen to me. Of course, I should have known better.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Grabbing my shoulder, Leah pulled hard so I landed on my back then she quickly straddled my chest and looked down at me to yell, "Like hell I will! I am not leaving you here in the dirt to wallow in your self-pity. And believe me, I am an expert in self-pity, so I recognize the signs. Do you have ANY idea how many times I laid on the ground just like you are now, wishing to die? Please." I tried to look away, but she grabbed my face to say evenly, "She's not worth it, Jacob. You have a father and two sisters that love you very much. I think they would be pretty pissed to hear you say you have nothing left. And whether you think so or not, you have friends that count on you. Me, for one. So get your ugly face out of the dirt and quit being such a fucking drama queen! Let's go, Jake. Let's get the hell out of here. Get off your ass and find yourself a life that doesn't revolve around _her_."

_Wow. Where did that come from? _ After taking a few seconds to think about what she said, I finally looked her in the eye and asked, "If I say yes, will you get the fuck off of me?"

Leah actually grinned as she answered, "Yes. But you will have to mean it."

Closing my eyes, I sighed, "Fine. What the hell. I'll go with you." _ It was better than staying here and watching Charlie go through hell . . . a__nd dealing with the Alpha shit._

Leah surprised me by dropping a kiss on my lips then she smiled and crawled off of me before saying, "Alright, stay here for now. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Sitting up, I grabbed Leah's arm as I told her quickly, "Hey, make sure Seth goes home. Once he explains what happened and how it happened, hopefully Sam will back off. And I know that Sam will take him back into the pack. Seth needs to stay in LaPush."

"I will," Leah promised as I released her and she turned to go then came back. "Jake? Thanks. This will be OK, I promise."

Having nothing more to say, I just nodded and watched as she ran off, shaking my head as I thought about the decision I just made. I wasn't sure I was in any shape to make a decision right now, especially one as important as leaving La Push. Laying back, I put my arm over my eyes and decided I guess if I couldn't die, I could at least hide. But going away with Leah . . . I somehow didn't believe that was a good idea. Especially with what just happened between us. I had never done that . . . I was a virgin before tonight. I always wanted my first time to be with _her_ . . . with Bella. But, it was so primal, so . . . there was something about how that felt . . . _no, I will not go there_. Not now. I was sick of all of this wolf and vampire shit. I wished so much I could go back to those days when I was just a happy-go-lucky kid, trying to scab parts to fix up the Rabbit. I hated my life right now and wanted so badly to escape it. All of it.

Rolling to my side, I felt the grief roll over me again and I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt this wail come from my gut. I just let it go and before long, sobs wracked my body and I shook and writhed with the pain. I have no idea how long I cried, but it thankfully came to a stop and I slowed my breathing and wiped my face. Rolling onto my back, I looked up at the sky and realized I hadn't cried like that since my mom died. Why was it the women I loved more than anything in my life didn't stick around for long? At least Mom was in a better place, so they told me. But Bella would be living out eternity as a . . . well, that was her choice. _Fuck it. It's over_. 

**Leah POV:**

The house was dark as I trotted up to it. After willing my body to phase back into my human form, I dressed quickly and snuck in through the back door that leads into the kitchen. Walking as quietly as I could across the kitchen and out to the living room, I snuck up the stairs and into my room, where I eased the door closed and took a duffle bag out from under my bed. First, I peeled off the filthy clothes I was wearing and put on some clean underwear and bra then a pair of blue track pants and an old red Nike t-shirt that had been Seth's. I quickly slipped on some socks and my running shoes then went to the drawer and threw some underwear and clothes into the bag. Grabbing my bank book, I left the bedroom and snuck into the bathroom and took my toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant and tossed them into the bag. At the last minute, I decided to take the shampoo and soap and a clean bath towel and toss them in as I gazed longingly at the shower, wishing I had the time for one. It had been way too long since I had one. But I didn't so I left the bathroom and ended up standing in the hall for a moment as I thought about Mom. I knew this would kill her. It was hard enough for her when Dad died then Seth and I both left her to go with Jake to guard the bloodsuckers. Turning back into my room, I picked up a notebook and a pen and wrote her a quick note trying to explain why I was leaving, promising to call her as soon as I could to let her know I was safe. I also begged her to make Seth stay here. I signed it, "I love you, Leah," and put it on my pillow and snuck back downstairs.

As soon as I closed the back door, I quickly made my way over to Jake's house. It was dark, too, but I knew that Billy and Rachel would want to know what was going on, so I knocked on the door. I had to knock two more times before Rachel came to the door in a worn pink robe to ask sleepily, "Leah? What's wrong?"

"Um, can I come in? I need to talk to you about Jake." Rachel nodded and quickly stepped back to allow me to walk by her then she closed the door and led the way to the kitchen where she turned on the light over the sink. "Sit down," she invited as she pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. "Is he OK?"

I sunk onto the chair to say, "No, he's not." I tried to briefly explain what had happened at the leech house tonight.

"Oh God, this must be killing him," Rachel said as she put her head in her hands.

"He needs to go away again . . . he can't stay here right now. But this time, I'm going with him. I just can't stay here either."

Her head popped up in surprise. "Really? He disappeared before as a wolf. Is that the plan?"

I shook my head. "No. We are going to stay human and head toward Seattle. That's why I'm here. Jacob has no clothes. I want to get some of his things for him, and I wanted you and Billy to know where he was."

Rachel nodded then stood up and said, "Come with me." I followed her from the kitchen into Jake's tiny room where I put my duffle bag onto his bed as she opened the dresser drawer and took out some underwear, shorts, t-shirts and a pair of jeans. I shoved them into the bag then asked her for a pair of shoes. Rachel handed me a pair and some socks then left the room for a moment and came back with Jake's toothbrush and I added it to the bag and zipped it shut.

"Oh wait. He might need his wallet with his driver's license. I think he keeps it in here," Rachel said as she opened a small drawer, found the wallet and held it out to me.

I unzipped the bag and added it to the pile then zipped it shut again and picked it up to leave. "Um, do you know where he keeps his car keys?" I asked. I figured it would be better to have a car with us in the city. Rachel nodded and walked back out to the kitchen to take them off of a hook on the wall. As she handed them to me, I said, "Thanks, Rachel."

"When's the last time you guys had any food?" she asked with concern.

"I have no idea."

Smiling as she moved to the fridge, Rachel said, "I made some sandwiches earlier tonight for Paul, but he went out when Sam called and he hasn't come back yet." She took out four sandwiches and put them into a sack, then threw in a few apples and added a bag of cookies. "Here, take this."

Taking it from her, I again thanked Rachel then turned to go, but she stopped me by putting her hand on my arm. "Just take care of my little brother, OK? And make him call us. And . . . tell him I love him." The look in her eyes showed me how much she cared for him.

Smiling, I promised, "I will. And look out for my little brother, will ya? I guess I kind of care about the little runt," I told her.

Rachel chuckled and promised, "I will," as she walked me to the door and opened it for me. "Call us, OK?"

Nodding, I walked out into the night, letting her close the door behind me. Soon the porch light went off.

Quickly I jogged toward the garage, hoping the Rabbit had gas in it. I unlocked it and threw the bag into the back seat, and put the food on the front seat then I started the car and looked at the gas gauge. _Yes! Three quarters of a tank!_ Things were starting to go my way – finally. Pulling out of the garage, I sunk my foot into the accelerator as soon as I hit the road.

As I drove, I found myself replaying what happened earlier in the woods between me and Jake. I really didn't see that coming. I just wanted to hold him and comfort him, but it turned into something so different and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I knew it sounded bizarre, but it was almost like . . . our wolves connected in that moment. But, it was just sex. Just a release. Just taking and giving between two people in pain. Jake had been a virgin until tonight . . . I suppose he was waiting to have his first time with _her._ Well, that would never have happened anyway, no matter how much he wanted it. I guess it was good for him to get it over with, but I wished it would have been in different circumstances. Everyone's first time should be something to remember . . . which took me back to my first time. I had been dating Sam for over a year and we decided to have sex for the first time after the prom. Yeah, right, prom. So, after the dance, we ended up at the beach, as it was actually a beautiful clear, warm night in May, which was really unusual for Washington. I remember Sam smiling as he spread a blanket on the sand and then invited me to sit with him.

"_You look so beautiful tonight, Leah," he said as he moved my hair from my shoulder so he could lean down to put a soft kiss there. Already shedding his jacket and tie in the car, I noticed he had left the first four buttons of his shirt undone, and my hand itched to run over his tan chest underneath. We quickly slipped our shoes off and left them sitting in the sand then I turned to look at him and he captured my lips with his own. I loved kissing Sam! Of course, he was the only guy I had ever kissed so I really had nothing to compare it to, but that didn't matter. Our tongues danced with each other in perfect unison, as we were very practiced in the art of making out. We had gone a little farther than that, but not all the way . . . yet. _

_Sam slowly reached around and unzipped my dress then pushed it from my shoulders. That's when he discovered I wasn't wearing a bra. With a sly smile, he ran a finger ever so gently over the nipple closest to him and as I shivered, he whispered, "Are you cold?"_

"_No," I smiled. "Quite the opposite. You are making me very hot." I quickly unbuttoned the remaining buttons on his shirt and slid it down his strong arms then leaned in to kiss his shoulder and put a little bite there. With a little shove, Sam encouraged me to lay back so he could pull my dress all the way off. I wiggled out of my panties and handed them to him with what I hoped was a sexy smile. He held them for a moment then put them aside and quickly took care of the rest of his clothes. Finally, we lay there naked on the blanket, nothing else between us. This was the first time we had been completely undressed in front of each other, so we took it all in and touched and explored, all the while kissing each other on the lips, neck, shoulders . . . and everywhere else._

"_Leah, are you ready?" Sam asked breathlessly. I was. He had taken care of that. "If you want me to stop, tell me now, baby." _

_With a shake of my head, I said, "I love you, Sam." Smiling, he moved over me then kissed me as he entered me very slowly. I was wet and ready, but it still hurt just a little as he broke through and I gasped, digging my nails into his shoulders. As he began moving, I could feel a heat burn all through my body. It was like a fire that had started and I had to move with him to put it out. The feeling built and built until . . . I was shaking with a sweet release I could never have imagined. I cried out as Sam came and he shuddered then asked anxiously, "Baby, are you alright?" _

_I was breathing heavy, but managed to get out, "Yes, Sam." He rolled to hold me in his arms and as we laid there looking at the stars, Sam promised to love me forever._

Yeah, what a crock of shit that turned out to be. I hadn't thought about that in a very long time. I had done my best to bury all of those memories in the last few months. But we were young and in love and it was everything it was supposed to be, I guess. I felt sorry that Jake didn't get to experience it that way. I should have stopped him when he began kissing me. I'm not sure why I didn't. 

Slamming the Rabbit into park, I climbed out of the car and jogged back into the clearing with a pair of Jake's gym shorts and the bag of food. I found Jake stretched out under a tree and I thought maybe he was sleeping, but as I walked closer, he turned his head to look at me then push himself up as I held out the pair of shorts. Giving me a small smile, he pulled them on as I reached into the bag and then held out a sandwich. Taking it, he just stared at it. "Jake, I know you're probably not hungry, but you have to eat. I'm not carrying your ass to the car when you pass out from hunger."

His head popped up as he asked, "Car?"

"Yeah. I had Rachel give me the keys to your car, along with some of your clothes and your toothbrush. Oh and a pair of shoes. She's the one that insisted on giving me the food. She made the sandwiches for Paul, but he hadn't been back yet to eat them, so she sent them for you." Jacob actually smiled at that then raised the sandwich to his mouth and took a bite. "Yeah, I thought that might make them more appetizing to you." Sinking down to the ground beside him, I took a bite of my sandwich then added, "She also told me to tell you to call her, and that she loves you."

With a nod, Jake said nothing, but took another bite of his sandwich. As I ate, I tried to get a read on how Jake was doing, but he wasn't showing any emotion. As soon as he finished the sandwich, I held out an apple. Giving me a look that told me I was mothering him, I took his hand and put the apple into it.

With a roll of his eyes, he took a bite as I told him, "I figure we can grab a couple of hours of sleep then we can drive into town and I'll get the money from the bank as soon as it opens then we can head out. OK?"

Again, Jake just nodded, but I felt some relief. I was afraid maybe he had changed his mind while I was gone. I watched him as he finished his apple and chucked the core into the woods then looked over at me to ask, "Is that enough?"

With a sweet smile, I answered, "Yes, that will do. Now, get some sleep."

"OK, Mom," he threw back sarcastically as he laid back and crossed his arms behind his head to look up at the sky.

I laid down next to him then said softly, "Jake?" He just grunted as a response, so I went on, "About what happened between us? Don't feel guilty. I'm not . . . expecting anything from you. Do you know what I mean?" Turning his head, Jake just stared at me and said nothing, so I added, "I was just here for you. Nothing more."

Then slowly Jake moved his arm out and nodded to me to move over toward him. Smiling, I scooted over and let him put his arm around me as I rested my head on his solid bare chest. "Thanks, Leah," he said softly.

"Sure, boss," I answered. And then we slept. 

**Jake POV:**

I woke up and realized there was a warm body next to me, something that only happened once before . . . in the tent on the mountain. _What the hell? Bella? _Then I noticed where I was . . . in the woods, on the ground and it all came back to me. _No asshole. It's Leah_. _ Bella . . . all the blood . . . the baby . . . Edward plunging that syringe into Bella's heart . . . running . . . and then what I did to Leah. _Shamefully, I felt myself go hard just thinking about it_. _It had been like a dream, but I clearly remembered the feeling of driving into her. _That is not going to happen again. _Quickly deciding I needed to get some distance from her, I forced my eyes open and saw that the sun was up_. Good. Now we could get the hell out of here. _

I gently shook Leah to wake her and watched as her eyes fluttered open and as she looked at me. I could see her running things through her mind, too, then realization hit her and she sat up to say with a small smile, "Hey. I'm not used to waking up human anymore."

"Yeah, I know how that feels," I told her as I stood up and stretched out my aching muscles then made my way off into the woods to take my morning pee. Glancing back, I saw Leah do the same on the other side of the clearing. When I finished, I walked back to wait for her and when she returned, I grunted, "Let's get the hell out of here."

Giving me a huge smile, Leah replied, "Let's go."

I followed her out of the clearing and through the woods to where she parked my car along the side of the road. She walked around to the driver's side, so I opened the passenger door and noticing the bag in the back seat, I asked, "Are my clothes and shoes in this bag?"

"Yes," Leah answered. "I just threw everything into one bag. Your stuff is on top."

I unzipped the bag to reach in and pull out a gray t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and my shoes. Seeing my wallet beside my shoes, I grabbed that too and threw it on the dashboard. I knew I had a little money in there, but not much. Leah had climbed into the car and was buckled and ready to go, so I slipped the shirt over my head and sat down on the car seat to put my shoes on. Once I was done, I slid into the passenger's seat and closed the door as she started the engine, asking, "Is it OK if I drive?"

I just nodded, still not sure I wanted to do this. I wasn't sure I wanted to do anything. Leah drove us in silence into town and pulled into the parking lot of the only bank. Opening the door, she said, "Be right back."

I slumped down into the seat and kept watch, not really wanting to see anyone right now. Especially any of the pack. I didn't want to give any explanations or see any of their "Poor Jake" looks. Placing my hand on my chest, I rubbed back and forth . . . I still couldn't stand this fucking pain in my chest. I had a feeling I might as well get used to it. I was sure it wouldn't be going away anytime soon.

Before long, Leah walked out of the bank with an envelope in her hand and got back into the car. "OK. Ready to go?"

"I guess."

Smiling, Leah buckled up as she said, "Alright. Let's do this." Cranking the engine to life, she pulled out onto the highway and drove off toward Seattle. I just slumped in the car with my head against the glass, watching as the world went flying by in a blur. That's exactly how I felt, like everything in my life was out of my control and it was just whizzing by and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Leah drove for over a couple of hours before she stopped for gas. After filling the tank, she went inside to pay for the gas and use the bathroom then she bought us some drinks. Before we got back on the road, she handed me another sandwich, along with the Gatorade she bought me inside, giving me a mean look that meant I better eat, so I did. I really didn't feel like arguing. Opening the bottle, I drank some and then asked grumpily, "Did I miss a takeover or something? I thought I was the Alpha of this pack."

Leah laughed at that, something I hadn't heard for awhile. "Yeah, some Alpha. I'm just letting you slack off so I can feel what it's like to be in charge."

"Believe me, if I could give it to you, I would," I told her.

"No thanks, boss. It's all yours."

I snorted as I took another bite of my sandwich then she asked if I wanted to drive and I nodded my head. I realized I needed to concentrate on something other than my shitty life, so I got out and we changed places. As soon as she was inside, I started the car and pulled back onto the highway.

After she finished her sandwich, Leah leaned back and closed her eyes. We hadn't had much sleep in the last few weeks. I was exhausted, but I didn't think I would sleep soundly for a very long time. I was surprised to see that Leah actually napped all the way there. We were on the outskirts of Seattle when she finally woke up. "Are we in Seattle already?" she asked wiping her eyes.

"Yeah. I'm not sure where to go. What do you think?" I had taken the interstate into the city and I had no idea where to go from here.

"Um, I don't know. Let's just take an exit and see where it takes us." I glanced over at her and she smiled. Leah actually looked excited about this. I wished I could be.

I took the next exit and drove into the city. We drove through downtown and Leah rolled down the window to look at everything. It was pretty amazing to see it for the first time. Definitely a long way from La Push. The big buildings of downtown faded into smaller buildings and houses and as we were driving through a little neighborhood, Leah yelled, "Stop here!"

I stomped on the brakes and whipped into a parking place. "What the hell, Leah? You scared the shit out of me!" I yelled.

"Sorry," she laughed. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just kind of like the look of this neighborhood. And I'm hungry. Let's go into that little place there and get something to eat. Maybe someone will know if there is something available to rent nearby."

"OK. Apparently you're giving the orders now," I grumbled.

Climbing out of the car, I stretched my long legs then joined Leah on the sidewalk to look up at the sign over the door_: Rusty's Diner_. Leah opened the door of the little restaurant and I followed her inside to sit down at a booth by the window. The waitress made her way over quickly to bring us each a glass of water and menus. Leah ordered a cheeseburger and fries and a large coke, and I told the waitress I'd take the same. Leah looked at me as the waitress walked away and said, "Nice place."

"I guess," I shrugged. Looking around, I had to admit it was kind of nice. The room was long and narrow with a row of tables and a row of booths along the wall, and it had an old-fashioned counter with stools. But it was clean and was decorated with old pictures and metal advertising signs. The waitress brought us our Cokes, so I picked mine up to take a drink then ask Leah, "So, bossy woman with all the answers, how are we going to find a place to stay?"

Leah looked around then turned to me to say, "I'll be right back." I watched her get up and walk over to the counter to our waitress and stand there for awhile talking before she disappeared into the back with her for a few minutes. Soon, Leah was back and as she plopped down in her chair with a smug smile, she explained rapidly, "Carol, our very cool waitress, told me there is a place for rent one block over from here. It's an upstairs apartment and the landlord eats in here every day for lunch. His name is Joe and she gave me his number, so, I called him and asked if we could take a look at it. He told me that he would meet us there in a half hour."

I just shook my head and had to smile. "Well aren't you efficient?"

"Apparently, I am," she returned with that same smug smile. Just then, our "very cool" waitress, Carol, delivered our food to the table. "Carol," Leah said, "this is my friend, Jake. Jake this is Carol."

Carol was around 30 to 35, pretty, but a little rough-looking. I noticed she was blonde, but I was sure that wasn't natural. Carol looked me up and down then smiled and said, "Nice to meet you, Jake. Leah, you done alright for yourself, girl."

I'm sure I turned all shades of red as Leah laughed, "We're just friends, Carol, but thanks." Carol threw a wink at me then left us to walk back to the kitchen. Once she was gone, I gave Leah a look that said I was more than a little embarrassed.

"Oh, lighten up, Jake. Seriously, have you never noticed how girls check you out? Especially in that t-shirt. Shows off your muscles. Believe me, girls love that." I just rolled my eyes and took a bite of my burger as Leah grinned at me.

We finished our lunch, and Leah left a huge tip then walked to the register to pay the bill. I held the door for her as she called goodbye to Carol, then I waved and we walked outside. "Which way?" I asked.

Leah pointed and I walked with her until she stopped in front of a two-story brick building. The bottom floor was a bakery, and apparently the apartment was above it. A heavenly smell was hanging in the air from the bakery and I thought how I could wake up to that everyday. There was a small door beside the bakery that led upstairs, so Leah opened it and we made our way up, where we found an older gentleman standing there at the top of the stairs. He was maybe 65 or so, balding, and he was wearing a bright tropical print shirt. "Are you Joe?" Leah asked.

"I sure am. You must be Leah. Nice to meet you," he said as he held out his hand. She shook it and pointed at me saying, "This is Jake."

I held my hand out and he shook it and said, "Nice to meet you, Jake."

"Same here," I answered as he unlocked the apartment door and then we followed him inside. I thought right away it had to be out of our price range. Then I realized, I wasn't even sure what our price range was! We walked into a large room that served as the living room, dining room and kitchen. It had a large bay window that looked out over the street, which was cool. There was tile in the kitchen area and a brown color of carpet through the rest of the apartment. It was furnished, too, so that was a plus. There was a couch, table and lamp in the living room and a small table and three chairs near the kitchen. There was a queen-sized bed and a dresser in the bedroom off of that, and a full bathroom. It was very clean and Joe was proud to show us how everything worked. Leah looked it over and then walked back to Joe and said, "Do we need to sign a lease or can I pay you a deposit and go month-to-month from there?"

"Well, I usually have tenants sign a 6-month lease, but if you're willing to give me a deposit and first month's rent right now, in cash, I guess we can go month-to-month."

"Deal," Leah said then she pulled the envelope out of her pocket and shocked me by handing him several one hundred dollar bills. _Shit! She said she had a little money, but I had no idea she had that much! _

Joe had a paper for her to fill out so Leah sat down at the table and started writing. Joe took two keys off of his key ring and put them on the table as he explained things like, where to take our garbage and how the thermostat worked. When she was finished, Leah handed Joe the paper and he said, "Thank you, young lady. Here's my card. If you have any problems at all with anything in the apartment, give me a call."

Leah stood up to say, "Thanks, Joe. We will." He shook both of our hands again and walked out, closing the door behind him then Leah looked at me and said, "Wow. That was easy." Then she laughed. A wonderful, light-hearted laugh! Something I don't believe I had ever heard from Leah Clearwater!

I couldn't help it . . . it was contagious, and I found myself laughing with her. I couldn't believe we just drove to Seattle, ate lunch and found an apartment. I told her that and she said, "Yeah, you would be living out in the woods, sleeping in the dirt if it wasn't for me. " Then she slapped me on the butt and walked into the kitchen to check things out.

"Yeah," I said quietly. _Waiting to die. Way to kill the mood._ Turning to Leah, I offered, "I'll go get the car and park it out front."

"OK."

Jogging down the stairs, I opened the door to the street and slowly walked back to where I parked the car, still amazed at everything that had happened in the last few hours. I drove back to park right in front of the building then took the big bag out of the back, locked the car and walked upstairs to our new place. _Our new place. Man, that sounds weird. _ I had to wonder again if this was such a good idea. Us living together. Maybe I should have just stayed in the dirt in the woods and willed myself to die.

Opening the door, I walked inside to find Leah sprawled out on the couch. She smiled at me when I walked in and then took a deep breath and asked, "Do you smell that?" I gave her a curious look and then sniffed at the air. I didn't smell anything . . . except me. _Man, I need a shower._

"That's the smell of sweet freedom!" she exclaimed. "No orders to follow, no patrols to run, no looking after my little brother. Man, this is fucking awesome." Then Leah closed her eyes with a big smile on her face.

Well, at least one of us was happy. I smiled and shook my head at her as I put the bag on the floor then plopped down on the floor beside the couch, laying my head back to rest it on the cushion behind me as I closed my eyes. For some reason, I felt Leah's hand on my head and was surprised as she ran her fingers through my hair. I wasn't sure why she did that, but I was too tired to care and I actually kind of liked it. "Thanks, Leah. For finding this place. And for everything. But I feel really bad about you spending your money. I'll find a job as soon as I can and pay you back."

"Don't worry about it, Jake. I always intended to use it to do just this. Move away and get my own place."

"Well, I insist you take the bedroom. I'll crash here on the couch," I told her firmly.

"Are you serious? There is no way your huge werewolf body would fit onto this couch. You take the bed and I'll take the couch. No arguing."

I turned my head to look at her. "You know, you sure have gotten bossy. I may have to pull an Alpha order on you."

"Don't you dare!" Leah cried as she sat up. "Come on, Jake, don't be a fucking idiot. This couch is fine for me."

I could see that I was once again going to lose an argument with her. "Yes, ma'am." I drawled.

Smiling, she patted my head and said, "That's better." Then she swung her legs over my head and put them on the floor to stand and pick up the bag with our clothes in it and announce, "I'm going to take a shower."

"OK." I watched her walk across the room to the bathroom and close the door. I was glad for the break as I had been trying hard for hours to push the pain away and I just didn't have the strength to do it any longer. I felt it envelope me and I decided to lay on the bed so Leah would think I was sleeping and leave me alone. Walking to the bedroom, I fell face down onto the bed then surprised myself by actually falling asleep. 

**Leah POV:**

It felt so good to let the hot water run over me. God, I couldn't remember the last time I took a shower. Living like an animal for the last few weeks left me feeling disgusting! I scrubbed my hair three times until I felt like it was finally clean then I washed my body and shaved my legs and pits and then got out and dried off. I put on my clean underwear and clean clothes then brushed my teeth. _Ahhhh. I finally feel human again._

Opening the bathroom door, I walked out to an empty living room. _Where's Jake?_ Then I heard snoring. I turned and looked into the bedroom to see Jake's huge body sprawled on the bed and I smiled_. God, he's exhausted. He really needs to sleep. At least he wouldn't have to feel the pain for awhile._

I set the bag down outside the bedroom door and noticed that there were no sheets on the bed or pillows. Looking around, I started thinking of all the things we needed for this place. I decided while Jake was sleeping, I would go out and do a little shopping, so I grabbed the envelope with the money, took some out and put the rest in a drawer in the kitchen then I shoved the money into my shorts pocket and picked up the keys from the counter and headed down the stairs to the car. I stopped when I got to the sidewalk and wondered where I could find a Wal-Mart or Target. Turning around, I walked into the bakery and introduced myself to the girl at the counter as the new tenant upstairs. She was very helpful and told me there was a Target not too far away. She gave me directions and I thanked her and walked out to the car.

I drove right to the store and spent a good hour filling a cart with everything we would need. I bought sheets, pillows, pillowcases, a couple of bath towels, dish towels and dish clothes, laundry soap and dryer sheets, and some basic groceries to hold us for a couple of days. I spent some time smelling men's deodorant sticks for Jake because I forgot to grab his from home then I picked out a skillet and a saucepan, a couple of plates, glasses and some cheap silverware, and a few cooking utensils. I also picked up a pay as you go cell phone. I knew I needed to call Mom and let her know I was OK, and I promised Rachel that Jake would call, too.

Once I loaded all of my purchases into the car, I made my way back home. _Home. _I smiled at that as I parked the car and then made three trips up and down the stairs to carry everything inside. Jake was still dead to the world.

I took a tour of our little kitchen by opening up all of the cupboards and putting things away. I was very happy to find a small washer with a small dryer stacked on top behind a door at the end of the kitchen. I never liked the thought of going to a laundromat, and now I wouldn't have to! This day was getting better and better.

While I was shopping, I had decided to make a meat loaf and mashed potatoes for our first dinner here, so, I set to work and soon had the meat loaf in the oven and then began peeling the potatoes. It was my favorite meal, and one of the first things that I ever learned how to make. I had the potatoes on to boil and then I set our little table. I glanced in at Jake and wondered if I could even wake him for dinner. He hadn't moved at all.

Later, when dinner was ready, I put it all on the table and then walked into the bedroom to wake Jake. I touched him on the shoulder and shook him. "Jake! Hey, I made dinner. Jake? Wake up!"

He jerked awake and looked at me, his eyes in slits. "What? Where am I?" Sitting up, he ran his hand through his hair then looked around.

Seeing that he finally realized where he was, I said, "I made dinner. Get your ass out of bed and come and eat." He nodded and grunted, "Mkay," so I walked back out to the table and sat down to load my plate. I had already started eating by the time he finally shuffled out to the table.

"Man, something smells really good," Jake commented as he sat down. "All of a sudden, I'm starving!" I almost laughed when I looked at him. His hair was a mess, shooting out in every direction. He looked like death warmed over.

I smiled, telling him, "I made meat loaf and mashed potatoes and green beans. And I have chocolate ice cream for dessert. It's my favorite meal."

Jake was already shoveling food into his mouth before I finished. He ended up eating four pieces of meat loaf and most of the mashed potatoes. Looking over at me as he finished, he told me, "Wow, Leah. You're a really good cook."

For some reason, it made me feel really good to hear him compliment me like that. "Thanks, boss. Want some ice cream?"

With a shake of his head, he answered, pushing his chair away from the table. "Later. Right now, I want a shower."

"God, it feels great to get clean again! Everything you need is in the bathroom. I put a new towel on the towel rack and I bought you a deodorant and your toothbrush is in the glass on the sink. Oh, and I bought some sheets for the bed, and I'll put those on for you after I do the dishes."

Jake just stared at me for a moment, then he said quietly, "Leah, I can't believe you did all this." Shrugging, I stood up and carried some dishes to the sink. Jake picked up some dishes and followed me to set them on the counter then looked at me. "I don't know what to say."

I returned his gaze and said, "Just say, 'Thank you.' "

Smiling, Jake surprised me by taking me into his arms. "Thank you, Leah," he whispered softly, holding me for a moment. Finally, he left me standing there and to walk over to the bathroom and close the door. I just stood there staring at the bathroom door and felt . . . _no. I won't go there. I will not feel anything for Jake but friendship. That is a road I do NOT need to go down._ After Sam, I decided I wasn't going to be that vulnerable ever again.

Turning the faucet, I started the dish water by adding some dish soap then threw in the silverware. _Just wash the dishes, Leah, and don't think about Jake in the shower._

"God, I feel so much better!" Jake proclaimed as I heard him walk out of the bathroom. "Leah? Where is the bag with my clothes?"

I looked up from the phone I had bought and was trying to figure out and my heart skipped a beat. I was used to seeing Jake half naked, but just now, as he stood there with just the new blue towel wrapped around him and water glistening off of his shaggy jet black hair . . . he was more human . . . and really . . . _sexy_. I was speechless.

"Leah? Did you hear me?" Jake asked.

_Come on, Leah. Say something. _"Um, yeah. I put your clothes away while you were showering. Look in the dresser in the bedroom," I finally got out as I stared at the phone in my hand. _Calm the fuck down, girl. It's just Jake._

Jake nodded and walked into the bedroom, where I heard him opening drawers and then in a few minutes he reappeared wearing just a pair of black gym shorts. Plopping down on the couch next to me, he asked, "What cha got?"

I cleared my throat and tried to concentrate. "Um, I bought a phone at the store. I promised Mom and Rachel that we would call." I looked back down at the little instruction book that came with it and tried to focus.

"Didn't you say we had ice cream?"

"In the freezer."

Jake pushed himself off the couch and went to the freezer to take out the carton of ice cream. I heard him open a few drawers until he found the spoons then he came back to the couch. I glanced over at him and smiled as he handed me a spoon and held the carton between us as he took a big spoonful and ate it. Setting the phone down, I dug my spoon in and took a bite.

"Mmmm, this is great. Thanks," Jake said with his mouth full. "I don't suppose you bought a TV today while you were out?"

"Um, no, I didn't," I answered with a chuckle. "I think we'll have to wait awhile for that. "

Nodding, Jake ate another bite of ice cream as he looked around the apartment. "This is a pretty nice place, actually."

"Yeah, it is. I really like it." I picked up the phone and held it out to him. "I think this is ready to go. You should call Rachel. She was really worried about you." Jake just stared at it for a moment then he finally stuck his spoon in the ice cream and handed me the carton. I handed him the phone and he took a deep breath and dialed the number while I took another bite of ice cream.

"Hey, it's me. I'm OK," I heard him say as he looked at me and rolled his eyes. "I know you are, Rach, but we're OK, really. Leah, here, is pretty efficient, and she found us a pretty cool place to stay and she bought us this phone so we can stay in touch. Get a piece of paper and I'll give you the number." Then looking at me, he asked, "Um, what's the number?"

I held out a paper with the number on it and he read it to Rachel then said, "Tell Dad . . . I'm sorry I couldn't stay. I'll miss you guys a lot, but, I just can't be there right now. " He listened to Rachel for a few seconds then he said, "OK. Look, I gotta go. I don't know how many minutes we have on this thing and Leah has to call her mom. I'll talk to you again. Yeah, I love you, too. Bye." Then he closed the phone and stared at it for a minute before sighing and handing it to me. Taking back the carton of ice cream, he took a big bite then with his mouth full ordered, "Call your mom."

I rolled my eyes, saying, "Yes, boss," then I dialed the number and waited until Seth picked up. _Shit. I really didn't want to talk to him right now. _"Hey, Seth."

"Leah? Where the hell are you? And where is Jake? And why did you guys ditch me? I'm a part of this pack, too, you know."

I looked over at Jake for help, knowing that he had heard what Seth had said. He nodded and held out his hand for the phone. "Hey, bro. Look, I'm sorry we left and didn't tell you. It was kind of a spur of the moment decision . . . look, I'm sorry we left you, it wasn't personal. I just had to get away . . . I want you to go back to Sam . . . I mean it, Seth. That's an order. I hate to do that to you, but you're smart. You need to finish school and go to college. The pack needs a doctor. You know we've talked about that before and you would be a good one. . . I know, dude. I promise we'll stay in touch, and I won't be gone forever, you know?" Jake was quiet then he squeezed his eyes shut and I could see pain move over his face. "Seth, don't. I can't hear it right now. Here's Leah." Throwing the phone to me, he then set the ice cream on the floor and walked into the bedroom.

"Um, Seth? I really need to talk to Mom. Now." While I waited, Jake came back out of the bedroom wearing his t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and his shoes.

"I'm going for a run," he tossed at me as he went out the door. I closed my eyes just as Mom said, "Leah? Honey, what the hell were you thinking? Why would you just up and leave like that? Where are you?" I tried hard to concentrate and answer Mom's questions instead of wondering about when Jake would come back. 

**Jake POV:**

It was a lot different jogging through the streets in town than it was through the forest. There weren't many people out this time of night which was good, so I ran right down the street most of the time, then moved to the sidewalk when a car came along. As I ran, I took care to pay attention to where I was running, creating landmarks so I could find my way back. Anything to get my mind off of . . . _her_.

Seth tried to tell me that Carlisle thought she would be OK. Edward had gotten enough morphine into her system to help her through the burning. _How is that OK?_ I cut him off. I didn't want to hear it. I remember telling her that I would rather she be dead than be . . . what she was now. I had apologized to her for that, but now . . . I really felt like she _was_ dead.

Turning, I jogged down another street and tried to tell myself it didn't matter. _She was gone. It was over. I was done. I had given her everything I had, and it wasn't enough. I would never be enough for her._

Finally I turned around and headed back, deciding it wasn't really doing me any good to be out here. Bella was always there . . . always following me, haunting me. _God, what can I do to get her out of my head and out of my heart?_ _What can I do to fix this fucking ache in my chest? _I suddenly thought of Leah. She was still hurting after all this time. And yet, she seemed happier today than she had been in a very long time. Maybe there was hope after all. I couldn't stand the thought of this pain following me forever.

I actually found my way back to the apartment and jogged up the stairs, unlocking the door to walk in and find Leah sound asleep on the couch with a book on her chest. She must have fallen asleep reading. I picked it up and smiled as I saw it was a very well worn copy of _Pride and Prejudice_. Who would have thought my rough and tumble Beta had a romantic side to her? As I set it on the table beside the couch, I noticed that she had changed into a nightshirt and it had ridden up to show a very sexy pair of bikini underwear. I stood there staring for longer than I should have then forced myself to cover her with the sheet that was thrown over the end of the couch, noticing how at peace she looked. And . . . really pretty. _Whoa, where did that come from?_ A flash of what happened last night between us flew through my mind. It was so intense and it had happened so fast, it was kind of a blur. But I could remember how her lips felt and her hands . . . . as I grew hard just staring at her, I knew it was something I wouldn't mind experiencing again. _OK, Jake, just walk away. It's not going to happen._

Turning off the light, I made my way into the bathroom for a quick shower. When I finished, I wrapped the towel around me and walked into the bedroom to pull on a clean pair of boxers then noticed that the bed now had sheets on it along with a couple of pillows. Leah was trying really hard to make things nice for me, but I wish she would stop. I didn't deserve it. Flipping off the light, I crawled onto the bed. Thankfully, I was asleep in no time. 

**Leah POV:**

_What was that? Where am I? _I forced my eyes open to look around then remember. _ Oh yeah, the new apartment. _Then I heard it again, the noise that woke me up . _. . _I realized that Jake must be having a nightmare. I could hear him moaning and thrashing around. Quickly throwing off the sheet, I ran into the bedroom and climbed onto the bed. "Jake! Jake, it's just a dream." I grabbed his arm and tried to wake him. "Jake!"

Jake finally stilled and opened his eyes. I noticed his face was wet from either sweat or tears . . . or both. "Jake?" I was on my knees beside him, holding his arm. "It's me, Leah. It's just a dream."

Breathing hard, Jake just stared at me for a moment then he sat up and touched his hand to my face like he was trying to understand where he was and who he was with. Realization hit as his face fell and he cried, "I can't take it. I can't stand this fucking pain!"

Reaching out, I put my arms around him and held him to me. He was breaking what little was left of my heart. It was like I could feel his pain tear through me. "Help me, Leah. Help me to not feel this anymore."

Pulling back, I made the mistake of looking into his eyes, still wet with tears and then did the only thing I knew to do . . . I kissed him. I mean, I really kissed him. And was surprised when he clung to me and kissed back. My body flipped into overdrive, wanting to experience again what had happened between us last night. His lips ravaged mine and our tongues were tangled together and before I knew it, I was on my back and Jake was hovering over me, pressing his hardness against my leg. There was a tense moment of panting and staring at each other . . . then he rolled off of me and left the bed to look out the window. As my body cried out, _"What the fuck?" _ I said softly, "Jake?"

"I'm sorry, Leah. I was having this horrible dream, and . . . "

"I know. I heard you and I came in to wake you," I told him as I sat up.

"Thanks. But, I don't want to nail you just because I'm so fucked up over _her_. It's not right. I still feel horrible about what happened last night."

I stared at his strong back and tried to think of something to say. _Shit. He has to be noble_. Sighing, I crawled off of the bed and went to him, touching him gently on the shoulder. Jake turned to look at me and say, "I have to get through this, but I don't want to use you like that to do it. Even if you are . . . willing. It's not fair to you. " He had put his hands on my upper arms while he was talking and he was rubbing them gently. "Do you get that?"

Nodding, I knew logically he was right, but right, now, all I was thinking about was running my hands down his chest and further . . .

"Leah?" Jake smiled and asked, "Are you listening to me?"

Shaking my head to clear it, I said, "Um, yeah. I get it." Then I turned to walk back out to the couch, but Jake caught my hand and said, "Leah? I know this might sound kind of weird, considering what I just said, but could you just lay here with me?"

_Lay here with him? What is he, like 5?_ My body was revved up . . . I wanted him on top of me! Sighing, I answered, "Sure." I guess it was better than nothing. He led me back to the bed and crawled in then I followed. I laid down facing away from him, and he scooted over and threw his arm around my middle. "Thanks, Leah," he mumbled into my hair. I laid there for awhile trying to calm my body which wasn't so easy with him lying so close. I heard his breathing even out and deepen then his arm went heavy. At least he was sleeping, and that was good. I finally closed my eyes and relaxed my body to let sleep take me.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Leah POV:

As I forced my eyes open, I noticed the light coming through the window. I was on my back and there was a very heavy arm lying across my chest. I turned my head to look at Jake. He was lying on his stomach, facing me. He finally looked peaceful. I noticed that he looked so much younger when he was asleep. I had to fight the urge to brush his hair off of his forehead and plant a kiss there. _OK, Leah. Back off_. I very carefully lifted his arm and eased it off of me and slid quietly off of the bed. I pulled the door shut behind me as I left the room and headed for the bathroom. I peed then jumped into the shower to wake up. As I was drying off with the towel, I realized that my clothes were in the dresser in the bedroom. _Shit. _I didn't want to wake Jake, but I couldn't walk around in a towel all day.

I walked over to the bedroom with the towel wrapped around me and eased the door open. He was still sleeping, so I snuck in and took what I needed from the dresser. As I turned to go, I heard, "Morning, Leah."

I looked back and Jake smiled at me. He had rolled onto his back and, God, he looked so hot laying there against the pillows. I smiled as I noticed his shaggy hair standing on end, but as my eyes traveled down, I noticed something else straining against his boxers. "Morning, Jake," I said quickly as I headed out the door and back to the bathroom.

I shut the door and leaned against it. _God, Leah. Get a grip! _I had seen Jake and all of the guys in the pack half naked, and sometimes all the way naked, and I had never acted like this now? _Was it because of what happened between us that night in the woods? Or am I just horny?_ _Ugh! _I pulled my clothes on and headed out to the kitchen to make some breakfast. _Food, yea, that's what I need._

I had fried some bacon and was scrambling eggs when Jake finally came out from the bedroom. He had put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, thank God, and he smiled as he said, "Bacon and eggs? I hope you made enough for two."

"Of course I did. Sit down." I piled some eggs and bacon on a plate and put it in front of him then handed him a fork. "I'm sorry I don't have any coffee. I forgot to buy a coffee maker yesterday. But I will definitely get one today. I forgot how much I need coffee in the morning as a human!" I told him.

He looked up and said, "Yea. It's funny the things you forget when you spend so much time as a wolf." He took his fork and dug in. "Like how much I love bacon," he said as he shoved a whole piece in his mouth. "Oh yea, that's the stuff." I had to chuckle as I walked to the fridge and took out a carton of orange juice and poured us each a glass. I set them on the table then took my plate of eggs and bacon and sat down across from Jake to eat.

"I did find a toaster though, so I should have toast for you in a sec," I added.

He just nodded. The toast popped up and I got up to get it and bring it to the table. We each took a piece and buttered it and kept eating. It was quiet until Jake cleared his throat and said, "Um, Leah? About last night . . . "

"Jake, please . . ."

He looked at me and put his hand over mine and said, "No, listen. I wanted to thank you for staying with me. I haven't slept that well in a long time."

I smiled and said, "Me, too. I was exhausted. I'm glad you got some sleep. You look better this morning."

"I do feel a little better." He removed his hand and went back to shoveling eggs into his mouth. "But do me a favor, will ya?"

"Sure, what?"

"Here I'm just Jake, OK? Not your Alpha. I just want to escape from that for awhile."

I looked up at him and saw all the pain still there in his eyes. "Yea, sure. I get that." _Could_ _we be just friends?_ I had known Jake most of my life, but I had only gotten to really know him these last few months, as my Alpha.

He nodded and cleaned his plate. I stood up and took our plates to the sink and turned on the faucet.

"Hey, leave those," he said to me. "I'm doing those this morning. It's only fair since I left you with them last night. I don't expect you to do all the work around here you know. You don't have to do all of the cooking and cleaning. I'm not some male chauvinist pig that expects the little woman to do all that."

"Well, that's good to know!" I said with a grin. I turned off the faucet and sat back down at the table. "So then, what are you cooking for dinner tonight?"

He chuckled. "Well, I can cook, but compared to what I ate last night, not as good as you. When my sisters both left, I took over the cooking duties at home. Billy tried when Mom first died, and we all voted and told him we couldn't survive it. So, Rach taught me some simple stuff before she left so we wouldn't starve."

"Anything is fine by me," I told him. He picked up our empty glasses and moved to the sink to wash the dishes. While he cleaned up the kitchen, I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and tried to do something with my hair. I had cut it short when I first phased, just like the guys did, only not as short as theirs. It was just easier at first with the phasing back and forth. But now, it hung down to my shoulders again, and I kind of liked it better longer. I brushed it and pulled it back into a messy bun.

I needed to find a job, but I hadn't really brought any decent clothes with me. I didn't give much thought about what kind of clothes I would need when I was throwing things into the bag. I looked into the mirror at the plain blue t-shirt and pair of jeans I was wearing. Not really job interview material. I didn't want to keep spending my money on stuff, but I might have to buy a new outfit just to get a job to get more money. Same with Jake. All he had were t-shirts and jeans.

I didn't pack any make-up either, but then, I really didn't wear it much anymore. There was a time when I was really concerned with how I looked. When Sam and I were in high school, I remember getting up at least 2 hours before school so I could find just the right outfit, do my hair and make-up. But, then, after he left me, I decided there really was no point. And after I phased, well . . . wolves don't wear make-up.

I shrugged at my reflection then walked out to find Jake sitting on the seat in the bay window just staring out at the rain. I recognized the look on his face. I had seen it on my own face many times in the last year. I knew he would appreciate me not asking him, _"What's wrong?"_ and "_Do you want to talk about it?_" I already knew what was wrong, and I knew he didn't want to talk about it. People always tried to help, but sometimes the best thing to do was to walk away. So, that's what I did. I walked into the bedroom and closed the door. I sat down on the edge of the bed and found myself remembering how I wanted to be left alone. And how Sam just didn't get that. It was right after I phased.

_There was a place behind my house where I would go and sit and just be alone. I couldn't take the looks from everyone. The "Oh, poor Leah," looks. Everyone wanting me to talk about it and Mom trying so hard to make me feel better. I felt like shit . . . like yesterday's garbage. I just wanted to sit here and drown in it._

_I sensed him before I ever heard or saw him. I closed my eyes and said, "Go away."_

_Sam walked slowly toward me and said, "Leah, I have to talk to you. Please. I need to explain to you what happened with me and Emily. Now that you have phased, I can finally explain it to you."_

_I turned to look at him. "Like I have a choice, almighty Alpha? I HAVE to listen to you whether I want to or not, don't I?"_

"_Leah, don't be like that. Let me explain," he said softly._

"_What is there to explain? You saw her, you fell in love and you dumped my ass. Seems pretty cut and dried."_

"_It wasn't like that. Look, there is this thing for us wolves, it's called imprinting. It's a way for us to find our mate. And it's very binding, and impossible to ignore."_

"_What the hell are you talking about, Sam?"_

"_When I saw Emily, I imprinted on her. It's like, everything in your life stops and whatever used to be important to you isn't anymore. The only thing that is important is this person. This one person is your only reason for existing. I didn't ask for it . . . it just happened. And I am so sorry, Leah. You mean the world to me, and I can't stand that you got hurt like this."_

_I swung my arm through the air and slapped him across the face. "Don't. Don't do that. I don't want to hear how I 'mean the world to you' and how 'you don't want to hurt me.' It's too fucking late for that." I started to walk away and he reached out and grabbed my arm to stop me. I jerked it away from him as he said, "Leah, please. Just listen to me!"_

"_I can't, Sam! Don't you get that? I don't care if you imprinted or whatever you want to call it! You are with her now, and not with me. And now that I have turned into a fucking wolf, I can't get away from you! EVER! You are my almighty Alpha and I have to listen to your thoughts, and obey your orders. Don't you think that's enough for me to put up with? Do you think I should have to stand here and listen to you try and tell me how you didn't mean for this to happen, but there's nothing you can do about it? How will that make things better? Please, Sam, if you really care about me at all, just leave me the fuck alone."_

_He stared at me for a moment then nodded and turned to go. He stopped and said quietly, "I am sorry, Leah. I do still care about you. More than I should." And then he was gone._

I sighed. At least Jake didn't have to follow Bella around and listen to her every thought about Edward. He had no idea how lucky he was there. But I knew he was hurting, and he would be for a very long time. I stood up and walked to the window. The rain was letting up and I decided maybe I would go out and buy a newspaper. Maybe I could look over the want ads and try and find a job. I could use a cup of coffee, too.

I opened the bedroom door and said, "Hey, Jake? I'm going out for some coffee and a newspaper."

He didn't move at all. He had his head resting on the glass and he was still just staring outside. I walked over and put my hand on his shoulder.

"I heard you," he said softly.

"OK. I'll be back soon." He nodded and I grabbed a key off of the counter and some money from the envelope in the drawer and opened the door. I took one more quick look at Jake then closed the door.

Jake POV:

I followed a raindrop with my finger as it slid down the window. I remembered a time when I was little enough to sit on my mom's lap and we were watching it rain. I was pouting because I wanted to go out and play, but she made me stay in because of the rain. We made a game out of following the raindrops with our fingers. I smiled slightly at that memory. I missed my mom so much, and yet I hadn't thought about her in a long time. Too much shit going on. I closed my eyes and wished my mom were here to hold me and help me to feel that everything would be alright like she used to when I was a little boy. That there was some way I could go on living and that this fucking pain in my chest would eventually go away. _What a pussy._

I felt paralyzed by this pain. When Leah said she was going out, I wanted to say, "I'll come, too." But I couldn't say it. I couldn't move. I actually had slept after Leah laid down with me, and I did feel better when I got up. But then. . . . it came back, the bone-crushing pain. And it was too hard to fight. So, I sat here, looking out at the world, still going on without me. People were getting into their cars and driving off to who knows where. Others were walking, darting in and out of the stores below. All of them oblivious to the pain that paralyzed me. Just like Bella.

I'm sure she was suffering her own kind of pain right now. The newborn stage was supposed be very painful at first. Then the thirst kicks in and you have to feed it. I squeezed my eyes shut and willed that picture out of my mind. I couldn't stand the thought of Bella, my Bella, hunting down something just to sink her teeth into it and kill it for it's blood. For the millionth time I asked myself, _Why? Why would she want to give up her human life to live like that?_ _She could have had a normal, human life with me. Well, as normal as it could be living with a werewolf. I could have given her love. True physical love and babies and . . . but then, she had her baby. Her freaky half vampire baby. I wonder if the thing even survived?_

I have no idea how long I sat there, just wrapped up in the pain of my thoughts. I looked down and caught sight of Leah walking down the street with a coffee cup in each hand and a newspaper under her arm. She smiled at a woman pushing a toddler in a stroller and I could see her mouth move as she said something to her. It was amazing to see her like that. I was used to Leah's face always being half hidden by her hair, and when you could see it, there was usually a scowl there. Today her hair was pulled back so you could see her whole face and when she smiled . . . she just lit up. This was a whole different Leah.

She disappeared as she opened the door at the bottom of the stairs. I could hear her feet hit each step then I smiled as I wondered how she would get her key out of her pocket with coffee in each hand. I pushed myself off of the window seat and went to open the door for her. "Oh!" she said as I surprised her. "Um, thanks. I was wondering how I would unlock the door with my hands full," she said.

"I saw you coming," I told her. I took the coffee that she held out to me and said, "Thanks."

"You're welcome. It's just black coffee. I wasn't sure if you usually put anything else in it."

I took a sip and said, "This is fine." She plopped down onto the couch, took a sip of coffee then set her cup on the table. She pulled out the newspaper and began reading. I sat down next to her and she looked at me then rifled through the paper and handed me the sports page. I smiled and said, "Really, Leah? Just because I'm a guy, you think I want to read the sports page?"

"What? Did you want the fashion page instead?" she said sarcastically as she focused on the front page.

I sighed and took another sip of my coffee. "Fine. Just because I have a penis, I will pretend I am interested in sports." She actually chuckled at that. I opened the paper and found myself looking at the baseball scores. My dad was the one in my house that enjoyed watching sports. He loved baseball the most, so he was a Seattle Mariners fan. He and Charlie watched as many games as they could when they weren't fishing. During the winter, it was football, and the Seahawks. I used to watch the Mariners with him when I was younger, but the last couple of years, well, I didn't have as much free time as I used to.

We sat there side-by-side on the couch sipping coffee and reading the newspaper like normal human beings. It was rather funny, actually. I hadn't felt like a normal human for a long time now. I glanced over at Leah and smiled. She seemed to be enjoying our little adventure into normal life. Maybe I should try a little harder. I made a grab for the rest of the paper as she yelled out, "Hey! Jake!" I held it out of her reach and said, "I just want the ads, OK? Geez, Leah, chill."

She rolled her eyes at me and went back to reading while I turned to the classified ads. I read through them wondering what I was even qualified to do. Didn't anyone need a werewolf with vampire-killing experience here in Seattle? Well, there weren't any ads for one, so I kept reading until one caught my attention:

MECHANIC NEEDED: An immediate need for experienced mechanic.

Small family-owned shop. Knowledge in car, truck and motorcycle

repair a must. Apply in person at 3506 Baker Street.

_Baker Street, Baker Street. Didn't I run down Baker Street last night? Yea, I remember running by an auto repair shop, um, Dan's Auto Repair. _I got up and took the paper with me as I went into the bedroom to look for my car keys. I sat down and put my shoes on then grabbed my keys off of the dresser and walked back out into the living room and said, "I'll be back."

"Jake, wait! Where are you going?" Leah asked.

"To get a job. Duh, Leah," I said with a grin.

I could see the confusion on her face. One minute I'm a mute zombie, and now I'm heading out into the world to get a job? Yea, it didn't make sense to me either.

"Well, wait." She walked to the kitchen and opened a drawer and took out the envelope that held her money. "Here. You should have some money in case you need it. The car will probably need gas soon." She held out three twenties and waited for me to take them.

I hesitated and she said, "Jake. Stop worrying about the money. When you get the job, you can pay me back if you want. Just take it. " I smiled at her as I took it and said, "Thanks." I shoved it into the front pocket of my jeans. Then I looked her in the eye and said, "Thanks for everything, Leah." She just nodded and walked back to the couch. I opened the door and stepped out into the real world.

I closed the door and thought_, I can do this. I could make myself go on living_. Leah had. Watching her walk down the street this morning so full of confidence was just the inspiration I needed to get my ass in gear. I would try and make her as proud of me as I was of her. Maybe I should have told her that. That I was proud of her. Girls really like to hear shit like that. As I walked down the stairs I hoped I could convince this guy to give me the job. I really needed something else to think about other than women.

"Excuse me?" I said as I walked into the shop and saw a man with his head under the hood of a truck. He looked up at me and I said, "I've come to talk to you about the job."

He smiled and took a rag out of his back pocket and wiped his hands. He was a tall thin guy, looked to be in his forties, maybe. His shirt had a small round patch on it that said, _Dan_. "Oh yea? Well, come on in. Let's talk." I walked behind the counter and stuck my hand out. "I'm Jacob Black. But you can call me, Jake."

"Nice to meet you, Jake. I'm Dan Young. Come on in and let me show you around the place." It wasn't a big place. It was an old brick garage with two bay doors. He had a car in each bay, one up on a lift. But look at all the tools! Man, I would kill to have all of this. He watched me as I walked around and looked at everything.

"I have a little garage in my dad's back yard and some tools, but nothing like this," I told him. He asked what kinds of things I had worked on and I told him about the old truck and the Rabbit, and putting together the bikes pretty much from the ground up. He seemed impressed and walked me over to the truck he was working on.

"If you don't mind getting a little dirty, while you don't grab a wrench and come over here and show me what you can do." I grinned and said, "Yes, sir."

We worked for a couple of hours and I had to admit, I loved it. He told me how his son had worked here with him, but he joined the Army to see the world. He thought he could go on alone, but he was getting behind and decided he had better hire someone to replace him. Dan was a great guy, and after we finished on the truck, he closed the hood and said to me, "Jake, I like you. You do good work. I can pay you ten an hour to start, and we'll see how it goes after that. Be here in the morning at eight and I usually knock off around four or four-thirty. Sound good?"

I grinned and shook his hand. "Yes, it really does. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you giving me a chance."

"Don't make me regret it and we'll do just fine." He patted me on the shoulder and walked me to the door. I dug my keys out of my pocket and walked out to the car and got in. I smiled and thought maybe I should fix something special for me and Leah for dinner. I had no idea what to cook, but I would think of something. I surprised myself with the thought that I actually felt like celebrating.

I parked the car in front of the apartment and ran up the stairs. I unlocked the door and walked inside to find Leah making a sandwich in the kitchen. She looked at me as I walked in and closed the door. "So?" she asked anxiously. I tried to put on my best dejected face as I said, "I went and talked to the guy," I said in a really sad voice. "And he was really great, and . . . he gave me the job." Leah just stood there for a second until she realized that I was grinning.

"You ass!" she said as she smacked me on the arm. "I made a sandwich. Do you want one?"

I smiled and said, "Sure, sure. I just need to go and clean up and then I'll tell you all about the job." She nodded and I went to the bathroom to wash up. When I came back, she had the sandwiches on the table with a bag of chips. She came out of the kitchen with a couple of cans of Pepsi in her hand and she smiled as she set them on the table. We sat down and I told her about Dan and his son going to the Army and all of the tools, and the lifts and how we worked together on a truck. I finally stopped to take a breath and I glanced up from my sandwich to see her grinning at me. "What?" I asked, my mouth full.

"I don't know that I've ever heard you talk so fast," she admitted. "I was trying hard to keep up."

I rolled my eyes and laughed then threw a chip at her. She caught it and popped it into her mouth. We ate and she asked me some questions about when I would start and what my hours were. "It really sounds good, Jake. I'm proud of you." And there it was. That warm feeling inside of making her proud of me. Maybe there was hope for me after all.

"Well," she said as she got up from the table to put her plate in the sink. "Now you've done it. You know I hate it when I get beat at something. You got a job, now I have to get one." She stood at the counter and said, "I think I'll head over to the restaurant and ask Carol if she knows anyone in the neighborhood who might be hiring."

"Sounds good. She found a great place for us to live," I told her. She stared at me for a sec then asked, "Us? Are you OK with us living here together, Jake?"

"Yea," I answered. Then I added, "Why? Aren't you?"

"Yea, I am. But, before, I know you wanted to be alone, and I'll do my best to give you that time. I know how it was for me. I guess I just want to make sure that this is OK for you."

I stood up and put my plate on the counter then walked around to stand in front of Leah. "Yea, it's OK with me. I know that you get it. And, even though I thought I wanted to just lay there and die, I guess I'm glad you didn't let me. I think this could be good for me. I mean, look at you! You're so different here. You even smile!" She rolled her eyes and put her hand on her hip. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I can see that you are determined to go on living and put all that shit in the past. And if you can do it, maybe I can, too. I'm proud of you, Leah."

I could see tears in her eyes as I put my hands on her upper arms. "Thanks," she said softly.

I leaned in and put a soft kiss on her forehead. "OK. Enough touchy-feely shit. Get your ass out there and find a job," I told her.

She smiled and said, "Yes, sir, boss man." She stopped and turned and said, "Oh, I guess I better take a key, huh?" I laughed and held it out to her telling her that was probably a good idea. She took it and walked out and pulled the door closed.

I watched her leave and suddenly the apartment felt very empty. I never had time alone and I wasn't used to it. No voices in my head. No one relying on me to make a decision. _God, this is great!_ The only time I had been truly alone was when I left and ran as a wolf. Although, I still had those voices checking up on me. Now, complete silence. I sat down on the couch and looked around. Leah had done so much for me. Well, not just for me. She did this for herself and was gracious enough to bring me along for the ride. How would I ever pay her back for this? Not just money wise, that I could do, now that I had a job. It was the giving of herself that still bothered me. Last night, when she woke me from that nightmare, I knew I could have had her. She was right there, and she was ready. And I wanted to, so badly. But, I knew it wasn't right to use her, even though she was willing to let me.

I thought about how intense it felt to touch Leah like that. Of course, I had nothing to compare it to. I had waited and waited for Bella. I was 18 years old, for God's sake, and still a virgin, much to the rest of the guy's torments. It's not like I hadn't wanted to have sex. I remember when Leah first joined the pack, how all of the guys, especially Paul, talked about wanting to nail her until Sam put a stop to that talk. A couple of times, when we phased and I caught a glimpse of her before she ran off to hide and dress, I thought about it, too. I mean, she had a body. Any normal hormonal teenage guy could not help but think about it. But, I never really seriously thought about doing that with any girl other than . . . _her_. I closed my eyes and tried hard to shove those chocolate brown eyes out of my head. _You're gone. You're dead to me now. Leave me the hell alone._

I made my way back to the bedroom to change into a clean t-shirt then decided I should try to straighten up the bed. As I pulled and smoothed the sheets, I remembered holding Leah here all night with me. I hadn't slept that good in weeks! What is it about Leah that she has such a calming effect on me? Maybe I would suggest that she just move in here with me. _Yea, there's a great idea, Jake. You just told her you didn't want to use her and now you're thinking about sleeping with her every night? How long do you think it would be before you lost it and jumped her? A couple of nights? Try tonight._

I shook my head to clear it and walked out to the kitchen to find my car keys. I decided to go to the store and buy some food to make dinner. I had found a grocery store on the way to Dan's. My keys were laying on the counter, so I picked them and headed out the door.

Leah POV:

"Seriously? Are you sure?" I asked Carol.

"Yes, I am. We had a waitress quit this morning, and you just happen to be in the right place at the right time. So, how about it, kid? Think you can handle the job?"

"Yes! I'm sure I can. When do you want me to start?"

"How about right now? It's kind of slow this time of day, and it would be a good time to train you."

"OK, let's do it!" I told her with a smile. She reached under the counter and pulled out an apron. She held it out to me and I tied it around my waist.

We spent the afternoon in the restaurant with Carol teaching me the ropes. I wasn't sure how I would handle waiting on people, but so far, everyone had been very patient with me. I even made twelve bucks in tips! Around five, Carol said, "OK, why don't you go home for today. You did really well, Leah. I think you'll work out fine. See you tomorrow at eleven?"

"Yep. I'll be here. Thanks so much, Carol. I really appreciate your giving me a chance." She smiled and patted me on the shoulder. I got up and walked out the door with a smile on my face. Two days in the city and I had a place to live and a job. I should have done this a year ago. But then . . . I wouldn't have Jake at home waiting for me. I picked up my pace and walked faster. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when I told him that I, too, got a job today!

I opened the door to find Jake in the kitchen. "Hey! Guess what? Carol hired me at the restaurant! They had a waitress quit this morning, and she told me I just happened to be in the right place and at the right time. I worked with her this afternoon learning how to be a waitress. I even made twelve bucks in tips! Isn't that awesome?"

His face lit up as he grinned. "Hell yea!" He picked me up in a big bear hug and twirled me around. He set me on my feet and said, "Can you believe us? We run off to the big city and in the first day we have an apartment and jobs."

"Oh my God, Jake!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. "This has been the best day. I can't remember the last time I felt this happy." He put his arms around me and held me close. "Yea, I know. Me, too," he whispered.

I pulled back and he looked into my eyes then his gaze slid down to my lips and I froze. He ran his finger lightly over my bottom lip. Then he smiled at me, let me go and went back to what he was doing before I walked in. _What the hell was that?_

I pulled myself together enough to ask, "Um, so, what are you doing?"

"Well, since I think I might have agreed to make dinner tonight, I decided I would make you something special to celebrate my landing a job on our second day in the city. I had no idea it would be a double celebration!" He grinned at me.

"What are we having? Smells great, by the way."

He was chopping green peppers and throwing them into a new pot that I don't remember buying. There were chopped onions and celery already sizzling in the pot. "Rach taught me to make an amazing sausage gumbo, and I am making it for you. Surprised?"

_Actually, I was! I had no idea that Jake could make something like that! _"Yes, I am. But pleasantly surprised. Need any help?" I offered.

"Nope. You just sit and relax. I have it all under control."

"Uh, OK. I guess I'll gather up the laundry. Where are your dirty clothes? Oh wait. You're a guy, so let me take a wild guess . . . on the floor?" He gave me a look and I laughed. "Yea, I thought so." I walked into the bedroom and scooped up his dirty clothes and then went to the bathroom and threw them in the laundry basket I had bought and added them to mine, along with the towels that we had used. I carried them out to the kitchen and opened the small closet and pulled up the lid of the washer.

"We have a washer and dryer?" Jake asked.

I laughed. "Yea, how bout that? Cool, huh?" Since it was a small load, I put all of the clothes in together and added some laundry detergent and then turned on the machine. Then I made my way into the living area and plopped down onto the couch.

"I actually bought a couple of magazines at the store. I'm pretty sure you aren't too interested in _Car & Driver_, so I also bought a _People _magazine. I laid them on the table there by the couch."

I smiled at his thoughtfulness and picked up the _People._ "Awesom. I love to read _People!_" I relaxed into the couch and opened the magazine. "You know you're spoiling me. I could get pretty used to this," I called to Jake.

"Well, you deserve it. You've done a lot for me the last couple of days. Enjoy it tonight, and tomorrow we'll go back to me being Alpha and you being my slave."

I snorted. "Yea, like that's going to happen." I heard him laugh. What a great sound. I found myself wanting to hear more of that.

We ate too much of his delicious gumbo and then cleaned up the kitchen together. It was kind of fun standing side by side doing the dishes. As he washed, he talked about growing up with two sisters and I talked a little about me and Seth while I dried and put away. He told me how when he was little, his sisters used to dress him up and put make-up on him. "I'm glad it didn't scar you for life! Or maybe I should be hiding my underwear?" I asked with a sly grin. A strange look flashed across his face for a second then it was gone. _What was that all about? _I wondered.

"Ha, ha," he said as he flicked water off of his fingers at me. I jumped out of the way, but some of it landed on my face anyway. He laughed at that. I wiped it off with the dish towel and then picked up the soup pot he had just washed and dried it.

I put the pot into the cupboard with the other two pans I bought and then stood up. "I think I'll go for a walk . . . see some of the neighborhood. Um, you want to come along?" I suggested.

He shrugged. "Yea, OK."

He grabbed his keys and opened the door. I went out and he closed and locked the door then followed me down the stairs. We got to the street and I asked, "Which way should we go?"

He pointed to the right. "I went this way last night when I went for my run. There's a park not too far from here."

I nodded. "Sounds good." We fell into step and walked together down the street. We walked in silence just enjoying our surroundings. It was a really nice late summer evening. There were parents pushing strollers and kids riding their bikes. An older couple was shuffling along in front of us, holding hands. I smiled as we passed them and hoped that someday, I could find someone to grow old with. As much as I hated to admit it, I really wanted that. But after Sam . . . I wasn't sure I could do that again. Trust someone like that with my heart. I wasn't sure I had enough heart left to give to someone.

We got to the park and found an empty bench off to the outer edge. It was a good place to sit and observe the people in the park. I noticed a father with a little girl, maybe 5 or 6, her dark hair swept up in pigtails. He picked her up and set her on a swing and gave her a push. Her face lit up as she called out, "Higher, Daddy!" It suddenly made me miss my own daddy so much. Jake reached over and took my hand as I felt a tear slide down my cheek. My dad was older when I was born, and I didn't get to spend nearly enough time with him before he died. It was just one more fucking thing in my life that I had no control over. I wiped my face and said to Jake, "Thanks."

"Yep." We sat there for awhile and watched as the father and daughter moved on to the slide. Jake stood up and pulled me up with him then led me over to the swing. "Sit down."

I smiled and sat down on the swing and Jake gave me a push. He pushed and pushed until I was flying really high. I closed my eyes and gave into that feeling of pure freedom. I shocked myself by allowing a giggle to escape my lips! I couldn't believe how light and free I felt swinging through the air like that. As I was on an upswing, I jumped and landed expertly on my feet. I turned and gushed, "That was so great! I haven't felt that free since I was like ten!"

I ran toward Jake and jumped. He caught me and held me then said, "I loved hearing you giggle. That's something I NEVER thought I would hear from Leah Clearwater," he said with a grin. He set me down and I smacked him `on the chest. Then our eyes met and we stood there for a second gazing at each other. And then slowly, so slowly Jake leaned down and hesitated just a second before he put his lips on mine in very brief, soft kiss. Then he stood back and looked at me shyly. "Um, I'm sorry. You just looked so happy and really . . . pretty."

I just stared at him_. What? Pretty? Me? _

He grinned and took my arm then said, "Come on. Let's go home." _Wow. He said, "Home." _I grinned back and said, "Race ya!" Then I sped off leaving him just standing there confused about what just happened.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Leah POV:

We settled into a real normal-life kind of routine. He left for work every morning around seven-thirty and came home around five. I worked mostly the lunch shift unless someone needed me to fill in on the evening or morning shift. We took turns cooking and cleaning and doing laundry, and Jake insisted on paying the next two months rent because I paid the first month plus the deposit. Plus, he pointed out that he was making more money than me. I couldn't argue with that.

We decided to get a real cell phone plan with each of us getting a new phone. It was so weird having to find a way to keep in contact with each other. As werewolves, we never had to worry about that with the whole wolf telepathy thing. But of course, neither one of us had phased once since we came to Seattle. We both had decided to put that behind us for now. Not forever, just for now. The phones also helped us keep in touch with our families. Jake and I both called our parents at least once a week to check in and let them know we were OK. Seth would call once in awhile and try and update us on what was going on back home. He shared pack news, but stayed away from mentioning the coven of bloodsuckers. I had the feeling he was secretly still visiting them, but he never said so. He reluctantly went back to Sam's pack. What other choice did he have? I told him to suck it up and quit whining. None of us ever really had any choices, so you just have to learn to deal with it and go on.

I also knew that Jake had talked to Embry and Quil. They were his best friends. He and Embry had been friends since they were really little and they were tight. It killed Embry when Jake left the pack. Quil, too. I knew they all missed hanging out.

Jake still had nightmares, at least a couple times a week. He also still had those moments where he would be very quiet and just stare out at nothing and I knew not to bother him. If he wanted to talk, he would. What was there to talk about? The searing pain that was always there in your chest that never went away? How you keep going over and over everything trying to figure out where you went wrong? Wanting to know so desperately why you weren't enough for them? Yea, talking about all of that wouldn't change any of it. I knew that well.

To help us keep our minds off of home, we went halves on a TV. Nothing big and fancy. Just a simple model with basic cable. It was nice to hang out in the evenings and watch a little TV before bed. I was still sacking on the couch while Jake took the bed. On those nights when Jake had a nightmare, I would go in and wake him and lay with him until he was calm and sleeping. Then I would force myself to walk back to the couch. It was getting harder and harder to leave his bed. There was something about being that close to Jake. Even though we hadn't phased at all since we had been here, I still felt that inner wolf when I was close to Jake. Like it was reaching out to him. It kind of freaked me out a little. I didn't believe it was like imprinting, but it was still a strange feeling.

I was slowly becoming a different Leah Clearwater. I was really getting into being here, and I found myself smiling more and I don't know . . . mellowing out? I wasn't as irritated at everything and I found myself getting up in the morning eager to start the day. That was NOT me! Jake even caught me humming the other morning while I was making coffee. Yea, humming. Weird.

At first, Jake wasn't very talkative and wasn't really interested in going out. But the longer we were here, the more relaxed he became. One Sunday, I even got him to go down to the waterfront with me. At home, I l always found myself going to the water. There was something about it that was relaxing for me. Whether it was walking on the beach as a human, or sitting on the cliffs as a wolf, I liked watching the waves roll. I shared that with Jake as we were walking along the waterfront when Jake walked over to the railing and leaned on it to look out at the boats. It was cool. You could see anything from cruise ships to sailboats, to fishing boats. "You know, my mom liked being around the water, too. I remember when we were little, we spent as much time as possible out at First Beach during the summer. She loved to walk the beach and play with us in the waves. After she died, I couldn't go there for a long time."

"I remember your mom," I told him. When I was younger, I used to play with Rachel and Becca a lot. Our moms were good friends. "When I was little, I always thought she was so pretty." He smiled at that. "Rachel looks like her, doesn't she?"

"Yea, she does," he agreed quietly. He looked back out at the water and said softly, "I still remember that day . . . of the accident. I was only eight, and the girls were twelve. Rach and Becca and I had stayed at home while Mom and Dad went to get groceries. Something they always did on Saturday. It was like their thing, you know? I remember your mom and dad coming to the door. They sat us down on the couch and your dad told us about the accident." I found myself reaching out to put my arm around his waist and laying my head against his arm. "I just couldn't understand why everyone was crying. Harry said that Mom was in a better place now, that she had gone on to meet our ancestors." He looked at me and said, "I kept thinking, '_why don't we go, too? I want to meet the ancestors._' Man, I was such a dumb kid." He hung his head and looked down at his clasped hands.

I put my head up to look at him. "No, you weren't. You were eight! How does that made sense to an eight-year-old? I was almost ten and it didn't make sense to me either when Dad told me."

He shrugged and looked back out at the water. "It took me awhile to realize she wasn't coming back. I remember your mom packed us up and took us home with her." He turned to me. "Remember that? Us staying with you?"

I smiled. "Yea, I do. Seth followed you around like a puppy even then! He was what, five or six?" Jake nodded and smiled at that. "I remember the girls sleeping in sleeping bags in my room. They cried every night until they fell asleep." God it was such a horrible time.

"When Dad came home from the hospital in the wheelchair, I guess I started to get it. Life was really different after that." I shook my head and thought, _Life has been so cruel to him. It's not fair._

Then he said, "Rachel tried her best to fill in for Mom. Becca was off doing her thing, but Rach was the one that tried to take care of us. She did more than her share of the cooking and cleaning, and helping Dad. And she always tried to mother me. And I have to admit, I let her. I missed Mom so much, and I guess, being the baby was kind of nice sometimes. You know how you sit with me when I have nightmares?" I nodded. "She used to do that for me. After the accident, I used to have such bad dreams."

"It's funny. I used to do that for Seth," I shared with him. "When he was little, and he would have bad dreams, I would go in and sit with him. When he got older, instead of sitting with him, he would just come into my room and sleep on the floor by my bed. I used to say it was like having a puppy. I never knew that would turn out to be true!" Jake actually chuckled a little.

We were quiet for awhile and then I said, "Isn't it funny? Your dad is the one that came to our house to tell us about Dad having his heart attack." Jake looked at me and gave me a small smile and a nod. "I guess I never realized how close how families used to be. Our parents were always there for each other. I know your dad and my mom are still good friends. I wonder why all of us kids drifted apart like we did."

"We all hung out for awhile. I remember your mom watched us quite a bit for awhile until Dad got better. Remember you and me chasing the girls with those garter snakes?" I laughed at that. I did remember. They were so girly and ran around screaming like idiots.

"And that day we were out in the woods and we lost Seth?" I reminded him. "We found him down by the frog pond, covered in mud begging to us to help him bring home this giant turtle? Mom about shit when we brought him AND the turtle into the house."

We both laughed and he said, "I can still hear her screaming, 'get that thing out of my kitchen!' "

"Yea and you picked up Seth and took him outside and left the turtle!" I added, laughing harder.

We enjoyed that moment for a little bit then Jake said, "Becca was determined to get out of here one way or another. I think when Mom died, she decided she wasn't going to stick around any longer than she had to. She didn't spend much time at home. And Rach, well, she became Mom and took care of the house and stuff. And then she went off to college That just left you and me. And you were going with Sam by then and I was hanging with Embry and Quil . . . it's just the way it is."

"I'm glad we've found each other again," I said. "I think the Blacks and the Clearwaters should always be friends, don't you think?"

He smiled warmly and said, "Yes, definitely."

We both turned to look out at the boats again and we fell quiet. I got to thinking about what Jake had said about the day of the accident, and I remembered Billy coming to our house with Charlie to tell us about Dad. I broke the silence with, "I really miss my dad. And I feel so bad because the last few months of his life, I was just so awful. This whole thing with Sam . . . just made me such a bitch to everyone. I hate that I didn't get to spend time with him, you know, before . . ."

It was his turn to put his arm around my shoulders and said, "Leah, no one knew Harry would have a heart attack. And he knew you were hurting."

"EVERYONE knew I was hurting. I made sure of that! God, I hate how I treated everyone." I laid my head over onto Jake's shoulder again as tears rolled down my cheeks. I had never told that to anyone. _Why did I tell Jake?_ We just stood there for awhile looking out at the water. I put my head up so I could look at him as I said, "But you know, you were the only one that didn't give me a bunch of shit about it. I always wondered if that was because you kind of knew how I felt."

"Maybe, I don't know. I remember when it first happened, I didn't think much about it. Sorry," he said with a small smile. "But that's because I hadn't been around you for awhile. When you started going out with Sam, you didn't hang around with my sisters as much as you used to. But when you phased and I could feel how much pain you were in, well, as much as I hated your poisonous thoughts and bitchy attitude, I couldn't help but feel bad for you."

I snorted and said, "Thanks, I think."

He smiled. "No, I mean it. You didn't ask for it – for any of it. Just like me. I never wanted to be a werewolf, or be an Alpha or a tribal leader! I really liked just being Jake. A goofy kid who liked to tinker on engines and hang out with his buddies, Embry and Quil." I saw his hands curl into fists as he stated angrily, "I'm only 18, for God's sake, and I feel such pressure to be what everyone else wants me to be! Why do I have to be the heir to the almighty throne? Why couldn't it be Sam?" He shook his head and then added, "It's been really nice to be here, away from all that shit and just be Jake."

Before I realized what I was saying, I said, "I really like this guy, Jake." _Shit. Was that out loud?_

He turned to me and smiled back. I saw the anger melt away. "Yea?" I nodded. "Well, I really like this Leah. It's been really nice getting to know her. She is funny, smart and really pretty when she smiles."

I felt myself starting to blush. _What the hell is with that? I never blushed! I wasn't that kind of silly, stupid girly girl._ He just laughed at me and pulled me close with his one arm around me. "Come on. I'm hungry. There has to be somewhere to eat around here." We walked down the waterfront, his arm still around me, to find a place to eat. I really did like this Jake. Sometimes, I was afraid a little too much.

"Hey? Are those donuts?" Jake asked as he shuffled out of the bedroom one Saturday morning. I looked up from the USA Today I was reading and noticed he was wearing just his boxers. I smiled to myself. It's funny how he just felt so comfortable around me that he walked around half naked most of the time. I know I should be used to it, but it still got me everytime. I'm sure he had no idea how hot he really was. I had at least thrown on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

"Yep. I went downstairs to get a paper and they smelled so good, I had to stop and buy us some. Want some coffee?"

He just nodded as he bit a donut in half. "Mmmm, I love donuts," he said with his mouth full. I smiled as I poured his coffee. "Well, who doesn't?" I asked. I walked over and set his coffee in front of him then sat down and picked up the paper again. We sat there at the table, me reading and Jake moaning over how much he loved donuts.

"So, what are we doing today?" Jake asked as he took another donut from the box. I liked how he said, "we."

"Um, I don't know. I have some laundry to do, and I thought I would clean the bathroom. I know that will be pretty exciting."

He rolled his eyes and said, "Come on, Leah. Let's do something today. I need to get out," he whined. Really? That's unusual. Jake was a "stay-at-home" kind of guy.

"OK, whiny ass," I said as I laid the paper down, "What do you want to do?" We were in the middle of a big city. There had to be something to do.

"I don't know. What do people do around here do on Saturdays?" he asked as he got up and went to the kitchen. He grabbed the coffee pot and poured the rest of the coffee into his cup and headed back to the table.

I had to think about that. I really had no idea! I usually worked on Saturdays, but Carol made sure that I had at least one Saturday off a month and this was the day. "Um, go to the movies, or maybe a museum, or to the park, or the waterfront, I don't know." I could see that none of that really interested him. "Tell you what, you think about it and let me know. I'm going to take a shower." I got up and made my way to the bathroom.

After my shower, I went to the bedroom to get dressed. I threw on a pair of jeans and a Seattle Mariners t-shirt that I had bought a couple of weeks ago. It was silly, but I wanted something that made me feel like I belonged here. I grabbed a pair of socks and walked out to the living room and sat on the couch beside Jake. He had put on jeans and a t-shirt, too, and he was watching TV. He turned it off as I sat down and said, "Hiking. We're going out to the National Park, and we are going to spend the day hiking."

I smiled at him. It was weird how we spent most of our time in the woods at home, and here we stayed cooped up in our little apartment. "I like that idea. We need to get back outside! Let's do it!" He smiled back and it kind of took my breath away for a moment. All of a sudden he looked happy about doing something. He was making progress and I was really proud of him. He had a lot less of those quiet moments, he really enjoyed his work and I felt that he was settling in quite nicely here.

We packed some sandwiches, a few bottles of Gatorade and water, and some apples and granola bars in a back pack I had bought not too long ago when Jake and I had made a trip to the mall to buy more clothes. Jake picked up his keys and held the door for me and we trotted down the stairs to the car. "So, how do we get there? We don't have a map," Jake said. "I'm not even sure where to get one."

I thought about that then remembered a store down the block. "There's a little book store just down the street. I bet they might even have a travel guide or something about the parks in the area. Let's walk down there."

He nodded and put the backpack in the car then joined me on the sidewalk. We walked into the book store and a little bell rang as the door opened. I loved that! We stepped up to the counter and I told the girl there what we were looking for. Of course her eyes were glued to Jake, who was wearing a black v-neck t-shirt that hugged him just right and jeans that did the same. His was letting his hair grow out just a little longer and I had been noticing that he had put a little gel in it to keep it from going too wild. I had to admit he was pretty easy on the eyes. I rolled my eyes at Jake, who smiled shyly and walked away to look around, then I cleared my throat and told her again what I was looking for.

She turned red and then directed me to the section with hiking books and maps. To make up for her miscue, she even pulled out a couple of the books and maps that she used when she went hiking. I thanked her for her suggestions then looked them over and chose a couple and walked to the counter to pay for them. I looked for Jake. _Where did he go?_ She handed me my purchases and my change and I thanked her and went to look for him.

I found him in an aisle with a book titled_, Indian Legends of the Pacific Northwest_. "Really, Jake? Don't you know these by heart after all these years of listening to Billy tell them?"

He smiled over the top of the book. "I don't only know them, I'm living them, baby." I snorted as I laughed which made Jake laugh really hard.

"Put that down and let's go! We're burning daylight here!" I said excitedly. He put it back and I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the store. We hurried to the car and I took out the map and showed him how to get to the national park. He started the car and drove while I read out loud from the hiker's guide I bought. I read about the different trails and their levels of difficulty. Jake scoffed at that. "Don't they have any that are werewolf rated?" he asked. I looked at him and saw his grin. Then I laughed at him. It was so good to see him relaxed and _attempting _to make a joke. "Of course they're all going to be easy for us, dork. I just wondered what you might want to see. Some of the trails are mostly forest, some go up into the mountains . . ."

He cut me off by saying, "I don't care, Leah. I just want trees and fresh air." I agreed whole heartily.

I had to admit, the drive was beautiful! The mountains, the blue sky, and the fall color was at it's peak this last week of October. It was like driving into a painting. I found myself getting really excited at the thought of spending time out in nature. It amazed me to be excited about anything. Jake pulled into the National Park and we found the parking lot closest to the trail head I picked out. We got out and Jake stretched. "Man, I'm ready to walk for awhile. Too much sitting. I think my butt is numb."

I giggled at that. Yes, I said giggle. "Numb butt," I repeated. He looked at me and shook his head. "I can't help it! It's funny! Numb butt, numb butt."

Jake rolled his eyes at me and reached in to grab the backpack out of the back seat and throw it onto his back. I grabbed the book and map and we hit the trail. "Have you thought about phasing at all today?" I asked him.

He grinned. "I would, but too many people around. I don't want to create a panic over giant wolves invading the park!" I laughed at that. "Yea, film at eleven," I added. I guess we could save that just for LaPush.

We hiked for awhile, just enjoying walking through the forest and smelling the pine trees and the moss. I could see Jake relax more and more as we made our way along the trail. "Hey, let's go out onto those rocks over there and eat our lunch. I'm starving," Jake said.

I followed him out onto the rocks and as we sat down I exclaimed, "Oh my God! This view is so incredible!" I looked out at the huge mountains and pine-covered valley below and just felt so at peace. I decided I needed a picture of this. So, while Jake unzipped the bag and took out our sandwiches and drinks, I pulled out my cell phone and clicked a picture. "Hey, Jake. Come here, I want a picture of us."

His head came up and he looked out and then at me and shrugged. "Sure, sure. I mean it's not like we've ever seen mountains before," he said sarcastically. I gave him a look and returned, "OK, whatever. Just get your ass over here." He snorted as I scooted over closer to him and put my head next to his. "Shut up and smile," I dictated as I held the phone out in front of us and snapped the picture. I turned the phone around to see Jake grinning, holding a peace sign behind my head.

He just chortled as I said, "Really, Jake? Are you really that immature?"

"OK, OK, I'm sorry. Here, I'll be good this time." He leaned in close to me again and I took another picture. I turned it around and saw the two of us, with our heads together smiling. Really smiling. And I got a little choked up.

"What? I like that one," Jake said as he looked at my face.

I looked at him and smiled. "Me, too. Um, it's just, I guess it's not something I've ever seen before. Look at us." I put the picture up again and said, "Look how happy we look. We are both smiling and it doesn't look forced." I turned to him and added, "I kind of like that."

He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. "Yea, I like that, too." He surprised me by putting a quick kiss on my cheek before he let me go and handed me a sandwich and a bottle of water. We sat there side-by-side and ate in silence for awhile just enjoying the absolute quiet. As Jake was eating his second sandwich, he looked over at me and said, "You never talk about Sam. Is it because it's still too painful or because you just don't think about him that much anymore?"

I was taken aback at that. I must have shown my surprise. "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that if you don't want to," Jake said quickly.

"No, it's OK. I guess it's because I don't think about him as much. Now that I'm not around him, it's easier to forget, you know?" I ate the last bite of my sandwich and took a drink of my water as Jake nodded. I set my bottle of water down and looked at him. "Jake, you have no idea how you saved me by allowing me to join your pack. I know you didn't want me at first, and believe me, I get that. But getting Sam out of my head was . . . such a relief. Having to listen to him give me orders and knowing I had to obey . . . he said to come to him and I had to go. It was so . . . hard, not to mention fucking humiliating." I looked out at the mountains and tried to push that pain away_. I didn't have to listen to him anymore. I was my own woman now. _I turned back to Jake. "I told you once that you're a good leader and I still believe that. You've always treated me with respect, and I appreciate that."

"Sure, sure. You're a smart wolf, Leah," he told me with a smile. "You are a worthy Beta."

I had to smile at that. I loved the feeling of pride that swelled inside me hearing him say that. "But, sometimes I'll see or hear something that will make me remember something about him, and some memories are easier than others." I smiled and added, "Like the other day, this high school couple came into the restaurant after school and took one of the booths in the back. They sat on the same side of the table and they both ordered a burger and fries and a coke. He teased her and she laughed and they made out. And it made me remember how Sam and I used to do that after school. We had a booth at the back of the little restaurant in town and . . . " I stopped and looked out again at the view. "Well, that memory is still a little too painful." I looked back at Jake. "But, not as much as it used to be."

"Good, I'm glad," Jake said with a smile.

I gazed at Jake and said, "It will get easier, Jake."

"God, I hope so." He looked away from me and told me, "I was sitting here looking out at the mountains and it took me back to that day up on the mountain when I kissed her. Really kissed her." He closed his eyes and I could see him relive that moment and suddenly I was inflamed! I felt an anger for Bella shoot through me that was so intense it scared me a little. _What is up with that? _I tried hard to push it down and concentrate on Jake. He opened his eyes and looked at me. "She told me she loved me after that kiss. I know she meant it, but now, looking back, if she had really and truly loved me, she would never have gone back to him. Not after that."

What could I say to that? I hated the bitch. I knew she made the wrong choice. I mean, who would want to spend all their time with a cold blooded bloodsucker when you could have a hot and sexy guy with a heart like Jake?I reached out and touched his arm. "No, she wouldn't have." He put his hand on top of mine.

"Jake, you know, I've been thinking about this. I don't know if they have their way of imprinting, but maybe that's why she can't let go of him, you know? I mean, Sam tried to tell me once about this imprinting thing, about how strong it is not only for him, but for Em . . . for her, too. It's this bond between them that can't be broken. I didn't believe that at first because I didn't want to. But, as time went by and I had to watch them . . . well, I realized that he was telling the truth. It's not that he didn't love me, it's just the imprint made him need her more. Maybe it's like that with Bella and Edward."

I scooted next to him and laid my head on his shoulder. "I have to believe that there's nothing wrong with us, Jake. It's them. They loved us, but we weren't what they needed."

He reached out and put his arm around my shoulder and held me close. We sat there quietly for a few minutes until Jake finally said, "Thanks, Leah."

"I got your back, boss man," I told him. I heard him chuckle then he said, "Come on. Enough of this. Let's go." I sat up and gathered up our trash and stuck it into the bag. We stood up and Jake took the bag from me and put it back onto his back.

We picked our way over the rocks and found the trail again. We worked our way back into the forest, and I couldn't help it. I just felt the urge to run. It had been too long, and I wanted to see if I was still fast. I looked over at Jake and grinned. "See ya later, slow poke!" I called over my shoulder as I took off. I put my head down and leaned forward as I flew through the forest. _God, this feels great!_ I ran faster as a wolf, and at one point I felt myself almost let go and phase, but I pulled back just in time. I could hear Jake behind me, closer than I thought he would be. I glanced over my shoulder and saw him catching me. I pushed myself a little faster and slipped on a rock just as Jake ran up behind me to grab me. We hit the ground and rolled and when we stopped, Jake was on top of me.

I had my hands on his chest as he stared into my eyes. His gaze traveled down to my lips and his head lowered slowly toward mine. My inner wolf was screaming out "_Kiss me already!"_ but I stayed silent and waited. It wasn't a romantic thing as much as a physical need. Suddenly, Jake stopped and stood up and said, "You're not as fast as you used to be, Clearwater. Maybe you should start running with me to get your speed back up."

I sat up and glared at him_. It's not bad enough he caught me, then chickened out of kissing me, he has to make fun of me, too? Really? _"Go ahead, Black. Enjoy it now. It won't last," I spit back. I went to stand up and as soon as I put pressure on my right ankle, it buckled. "Ow, shit!" I plopped back down onto the ground.

"What's wrong?" Jake asked.

"I think I rolled my ankle when I hit that rock. It hurts like hell!" Jake kneeled down and took my ankle into his hand and I flinched when he touched it. "Is it broken?" I asked warily.

"I'm not sure," he answered. "But it's swelling."

"Well, it'll heal. Let's go." He held out a hand to help me up and I blatantly ignored it and got up myself. He put his hands up and stepped back. After I finally got to my feet, I held my right foot up off of the ground.

Jake said, "What? You're gonna hop all the way back?" I rolled my eyes and tried to put it down very gingerly. Jake saw me wince and he scooped me up into his arms and said, "Quit trying to be brave and let me carry you back."

I struggled against him. I was pissed! I wasn't _that girl_ . . . the one who couldn't walk through a room without tripping over her own feet so someone would pick her up and pay attention to her. "Are you fucking kidding me? I'm not some weak little girl like Bella, always falling down and needing some big strong man to rescue me." Then I realized what I said and went still. I turned my face to his. "Jake, I'm sorry. I'm pissed, but I shouldn't have said that."

"Just chill, Leah. I'm sure if I fell and broke my ankle, you'd carry me back to the car, right?" I snorted and said, "Sure. More like drag you." He laughed at that and I had to admit to myself how much I really liked that sound.

He jogged along like it was nothing and I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep from falling. My ankle was throbbing. I knew it would heal, but I didn't know how long it would take. Jake was so quiet that it startled me when he said, "You're right, Leah. You're not like her. Maybe that's why I like you." I squinted at him and tried hard to figure out what that meant. He just laughed and I finally relaxed and actually kind of enjoyed letting him carry me back to the car.

Jake POV:

By the time we got home that night, Leah's ankle had healed well enough for her to walk up the stairs. I was a little disappointed by that. For some reason, I kind of liked Leah "needing" me for a change. I unlocked the door for her and she limped over to the couch and sat down then put her leg up. "Do you think I need to ice it? It's already healed quite a bit."

I shrugged. "It couldn't hurt, I guess." I walked to the freezer and took out a bag of frozen peas. Emily always kept frozen peas in case we came back with an injury or two. I smiled to think that Leah had done that too. I laid it on Leah's ankle and then lifted her leg so I could sit down beside her then I rested it on my lap. "Better?" I asked.

"Yea. Thanks," she returned quietly.

"I had a really good time today, Leah." I really did, much to my own surprise.

She looked at me and smiled. "So did I. I guess you have a good idea every now and then."

"Well, except for tackling you from behind. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. I'm sorry you got hurt," I told her sincerely.

"It's OK. I'll survive." I looked over at her and could see how much she hated feeling weak. She was a strong girl and liked to be independent. I liked that about her. But I had to admit that I had liked coming to her rescue.

I wanted to apologize for almost kissing her, too, but thought better of it and let it go. She didn't seem upset about it, so I thought it better not to mention it. I couldn't believe how badly I wanted to kiss her! Looking down at her like that . . . it reminded me of what happened in the woods that night she came after me. I laid my head back and rested it on the back of the sofa and closed my eyes. That night was still kind of a blur, but every now and then, something came back to me. Maybe that was what happened today and made me want to kiss her. I really had fun with her today. It was getting easier and easier to be around Leah. I was really starting to feel some of the "old Jake" coming back.

"Jake?" I heard Leah say. "Yea?" I opened my eyes and turned my head toward her. "I'm sorry about that crack I made about . . . _her_. That was cold. I was just cranky about ruining our day."

I smiled. "You didn't ruin our day. We had a great day. I'd like to go again next weekend."

"Me, too." She smiled back, that beautiful smile of hers. I was really getting attached to that smile.

"I'm really hungry. How bout you?" I asked her.

"Yes!" she answered. She put her leg down and started to get up.

"Stop right there," I said. "You stay here with your foot up. I'll find us something to eat." I got up and put her leg back on the couch and adjusted the bag of peas. I pointed my finger at her and said in my best Alpha voice, "Stay."

"I may be a wolf, but I'm not a dog, Jake," she complained. I patted her on the head and said, "Good girl," then made my way to the kitchen.

After looking in the fridge and seeing there wasn't much there, I decided on pizza. I took out my phone and called our local Domino's. "Well, that's done," I told Leah. "We'll have dinner in 30 minutes."

I sat down on the floor beside the couch and turned on the TV. I leaned my head back against the couch and flicked channels and felt Leah's hand run through my hair. I loved that she did that and how she didn't realize she was doing it. I never said anything because I was afraid she would stop. I liked it more than I wanted to admit.

The pizza came and we ate every bit of it. "Next time we should take more food with us so we don't get so hungry," I told Leah. She just nodded. I turned back to the TV and stopped on _Family Guy_. Leah thought this show was so dumb. "_I mean, what's so funny about a talking dog and a smart ass baby?"_ she had said the last time we watched it. I waited to hear a sarcastic comment and realized that she had been quiet for some time. I turned and looked at her and saw she was sound asleep! I smiled as I looked at her. Her face was so relaxed and her hair was spread out behind her. She was so . . . _beautiful._ _Geez, Jake. What the hell is wrong with you? _

I looked at the clock and noticed it was going on ten. I guess the fresh air wore her out. I got up and cleaned up the pizza mess then walked back to the couch. Before I knew what I was doing, I leaned down and put a very soft kiss on her lips. "Goodnight, Leah," I whispered. Then I turned off the light and walked into the bedroom. I stripped off my clothes and got into bed. I realized I was pretty tired, too. It didn't take long until I was out.

Then the dreams started. _I was on the mountain and I was kissing Bella, really kissing her. Her lips moved with mine and she opened her mouth and our tongues danced together. It was everything I had ever dreamed of and I knew she could be mine. Then she pulled back and said, "I love you." My heart felt like it would burst! I smiled at her and suddenly Edward ripped her out of my embrace and put her in front of him. She looked at me with fear in her eyes and shouted, "Jake! I love you!" Anger filled me as I made a move toward him and he said quietly, "You'll never have her, Jacob. She's always been mine." And then I looked down and noticed her big, pregnant belly. He rubbed his hand over it possessively and smiled. Bella looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, Jacob. I love you, but just not enough."_

I opened my eyes and felt my face was wet with tears. I sighed and wondered when I would finally stop crying over her. _God, I hate feeling like such a pussy!_ I wiped my eyes and rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

"Jake? Are you OK?" Leah asked as she walked into the room. She sat down on the bed and put her hand on my arm. "Did you have another nightmare?"

I sat up and shook my head. "No, just a dream. Why?"

"You, um, you called out her name several times."

"Sorry." I wiped my face and ran my hands through my hair. "I didn't mean to wake you." I glanced over at the clock and noticed it was 2:14 a.m.

She smiled at me and said, "It's OK. I think I'll put on some pajamas." She got up and went to the dresser. "Sorry I fell asleep on you earlier."

"Don't worry about it. I went to bed, too. I was beat. How's the ankle?"

"Much better." She stood there holding her pajamas in her hand for a moment like she wanted to say something else. I waited and finally she said, "Well, goodnight." She turned and walked out and I heard the bathroom door close. A few minutes later she walked out and laid back down on the couch. I could look out the door and see her laying there. I felt such a longing to have her here, beside me. Why was that? I didn't have any romantic feelings for her. I couldn't go there at all. My heart was still ripped to shreds. I wasn't sure I could ever give it to anyone again. But I felt this very physical need sometimes when I looked at Leah. I was hard now just thinking about her. I closed my eyes and imagined her here beside me, running my fingers through her hair, and kissing her lips . . . _Man, this has to stop!_ I didn't really want to use Leah like that. It was bad enough that I used her in the woods that first night. She didn't deserve that. We had become friends, and I didn't want anything to ruin that. I needed her too much.

I finally laid down and willed myself to stop thinking about both of them. I decided maybe I should start watching football to man up. I was becoming such a wimp.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Leah POV:

The holidays were coming up and I wondered about going home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Was I ready to do that? Was Jake? We had been in Seattle now for 2 ½ months. I missed my mom a lot, more than I ever thought I would, and I really wanted to see her. I even found myself missing my brother. _What's up with that?_ I brought it up one night at dinner. Jake had made spaghetti and I threw together a salad. "Thanksgiving is coming up soon. A couple of weeks, actually. Have you thought about . . . going home for Thanksgiving?" I asked.

He kept his head down and took another bite of spaghetti. I wondered if he was politely ignoring me, or if he was contemplating his answer. Finally he looked up at me and said, "No. I haven't thought about it at all. What do you want to do?"

I shrugged and pushed around a stray piece of lettuce on my salad plate. "I don't know. I mean, this will be Mom's first without Dad, and so, I guess I feel like, maybe I should be there for her."

He nodded and put his fork down then sat back. "Yea, Dad would probably like me to be there, too. This is the first with Rachel home and she'll probably want to cook a big dinner or something."

We both sat there for several minutes just staring at our plates, neither of us saying a word. I broke the silence by saying, "Jake, we don't have to go if you would rather stay here. I mean, I can cook us a turkey and pumpkin pie."

He looked up at me with a smile. "I'm sure you could and it would be great. But . . . you should be with your mom. This will be hard for her without Harry. For Seth, too. We can drive home Thanksgiving morning then come back on Saturday. That will give us Sunday to recuperate before we go back to work on Monday. That is, if you can get that many days off from work."

"I guess I'll check with Carol tomorrow," I said. "Are you sure? I know it's going to be really hard going back."

He shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe she's moved on by now. I think that was the original plan." He picked up his glass and drained the milk from it then set it down. "Will you be alright seeing Sam and Emily? Seth told me their wedding is coming up soon. Will your mom make you go because she's family?"

I thought about that for a moment. I had tried so hard to forget about them. And so far, being here made me stronger. But now . . . thinking about going back there . . . I wasn't so sure. But I answered Jake with, "I'm on my own now, thank you. My mom might _suggest_ that I go, but she can't _make _me go. The only one that can make me do anything is you, Alpha boss man," I said saucily.

He actually laughed at that. "Maybe I should try that out sometime? Hmmm, I'll have to think of something really good and see if the Alpha thing still works here."

I rolled my eyes at him and stood up to clear the table. "No abusing your great Alpha powers." He just laughed and picked up his dishes and silverware and took them to the sink. "I guess after I talk to Carol tomorrow, I'll call Mom. It will be a good test for Christmas. If it goes well, we can go home for that, too. If not, then we'll know to stay here."

"Sounds like a plan," he agreed.

"At least you'll get to see Embry and Quil. Maybe you all could hang out some while we're home," I suggested.

"Yea, maybe. He put his head down.

"What?" I asked.

He looked at me and said, "Can you hang out with members of the other pack? Especially when you're the Alpha of your own pack? This is all so fucking stupid."

I looked at him and put my hand on his arm. "I don't know, Jake, but you can try."

He smiled and said, "Yes, I can." I smiled and turned on the water then threw Jake a towel. "Your turn to dry, mister."

I asked Carol at work the next day about time off and she gave me Thanksgiving and Friday off, but wanted me back for Saturday. So, I called Mom to tell her and was still on the phone when Jake walked in the door after work. "Yea, Mom, I know. Seth told Jake. I just don't know if I can handle it. Look, I gotta go. Jake just came home. I'll see you on Thanksgiving, OK? Of course I will make pumpkin pie. I love you, too. Bye." I closed the phone and looked at Jake. "Hey, how was work?"

"Good. I finished the transmission job today. Dan was pretty happy about that. I asked him about the Friday after Thanksgiving and he informed me that the shop would be officially closed. His wife has him decorating the house for Christmas that day." I filled him in on what Carol had said. "So, you called your mom?"

"Yea. She tried to lecture me on going to the big wedding. Thanks for coming home when you did so I could cut her off." He smiled and nodded. "It's not easy to stop Sue Clearwater when she's on the warpath. But she's pretty happy about us coming home for Thanksgiving. Did you call your dad yet?"

"I did, at lunch today. He was pretty happy, too. Rachel is making us dinner. Well, us and Paul." He made a face as he said Paul's name and I laughed. "So, I guess we're committed now, huh?" he said.

"Jake, we don't HAVE to go. We are grown-up independent people you know. We don't have to do what our mommies and daddies want us to do."

He smiled at me. "I know. I'll be OK. Don't worry. Now, let's talk about something really important: dinner! I'm starving!"

"Well, I just got here, so I haven't had a chance to cook anything."

"How about if I take a shower and we go out?"

I shrugged. "Sure, OK."

"Be right back!" He took off for the bathroom and closed the door.

I sat down and thought about going home. I picked up my phone and dialed the house phone again. "Hello?"

"Hey, Seth."

"Hey, Leah. I thought you just talked to Mom. Did you forget something?"

"No, I actually wanted to talk to you."

"Me? Why? You don't care about anything I have to say," he said dejectedly.

"Knock it off, butthead. You need to get over yourself. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I don't care about you. I do. And this has been really good for me and for Jake. I hardly ever think about Sam anymore, and if I do, it doesn't feel like a knife in my gut. And I think this has helped Jake, too."

"Whatever. That's good, I guess."

"Yea, it is. But, the reason I'm calling is . . . um, are the bloodsuckers still around? I mean, is there any chance that Jake might bump into . . . _her_?"

"Yea, they're still here. They finally let Bella see the baby just this week. Since she's half-human, they kept her away until they thought she could handle it."

"Oh. Well, I really don't want to hear about their demon spawn. Jake is my main concern here. He is kind of hesitant about going home. I guess I thought if I could tell him she wasn't there, he might feel better, you know?"

"Yea." Sorry, but she is. But they don't leave the house much, just to hunt, so it's not like he's going to run into her or anything."

"I guess." It got quiet for a moment. I really did feel bad that we had hurt him by leaving like we did. So, I found myself saying, "So, um, how are you? School going OK?"

"Yea, it's OK. We got a new Science teacher this semester. She's pretty cool." He went on to tell me more about his classes and a new girl he was chasing. Then he was quiet. "Um, Sam was asking about you guys. He was wondering if you were ever going to come back to the pack."

"I can't speak for Jake, but I'm really happy here, Seth. I kind of like living a normal life away from the pack. Away from the drama, and away from Sam."

"I guess I understand that, but Mom really misses you and she worries about you all the time. And I . . . kind of miss you, too. You and Jake."

"Wow, dude. I guess I kind of miss you, too." That made me smile.

He got real quiet then said, "Well, I gotta go. See you in a week or so."

"Yea, I'll see ya." I closed the phone as the bathroom door opened and Jake walked to the bedroom with just a towel wrapped around him. He looked at me and said, "I'll be out in a sec then we'll go." I just nodded. I couldn't breathe let alone talk! I suddenly wondered if he did that on purpose because he knew what it did to me.

The bedroom door opened and Jake came out wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, which I decided looked almost as good as the towel. "Ready to go?" he asked as he shoved his feet into his shoes.

I smiled and answered, "Yes. Suddenly, I'm starving."

Jake POV:

"Dan told me they have the best steak in town here. I hope so. It's been a long time since I had a nice, big steak," I told Leah.

"Sounds good."

We gave the waitress our order and after she walked away, I took a look around. This was a nice local, family-owned restaurant. Dan told me he brings his wife, Kristy, here once a month or so. He suggested I take "my girl" out for a nice meal. I hadn't really told Dan much about Leah. I guess if he thought she was my girl, it was no big deal. I looked across the table at her and noticed she was kind of quiet tonight.

The waitress brought our drinks and as Leah sipped her Coke, I asked her, "You, OK? You're kind of quiet."

"I talked to Seth on the phone tonight, right before we left. I called him to ask him something." I tried to read her face. Whatever she was trying to tell me, she was having a hard time getting it out.

"What is it? There is obviously something you want me to know, but you're afraid of how I'll take it, aren't you?"

She nodded. She took a deep breath and said, "I asked him if . . . _she _was still there. In Forks."

_She . . . Bella_. And there it was. That horrible pounding pain in my chest. I closed my eyes and willed it to stop. "And?"

"She is. Seth said that they just let her see her baby for the first time. Since it's half-human they didn't trust her not to kill it, I guess. How bizarre. Anyway, I was hoping they would be gone by now, so you wouldn't have to think about her being there. He said they don't leave the house much, except to hunt," her voice fading as she finished her sentence.

_So much for going out for a nice dinner_. I shoved my chair back and said, "I need some air." I got up and stalked outside. All of a sudden I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. "_They don't leave the house much, except to hunt." _God, I couldn't stand that thought, that picture in my head. I flexed my hands and took a few steps away from the restaurant and tried to calm down. _When was this going to stop? Every time I think I can go on without her, something happens to remind me that she's always going to be there. Inside, haunting me with her smile and her eyes._ I squeezed my eyes shut, willing her to leave me alone. I had been able to forget for awhile then I had that fucking dream about her the other night and it brought it all back. I jumped as I felt a hand on my arm.

"Jake, I am so sorry. I told the waitress to cancel our order and I paid for our drinks. Let' go home," Leah said.

I opened my eyes and looked down into her face. She had tears in her eyes. I nodded and we walked to the car and got in. I drove us back to the apartment and parked. I shut off the engine and just sat there. She looked over and said, "Jake, for God's sake, she's a bloodsucker now, and she is never coming back to you. Don't you get that? They have to keep her away from her own kid so she doesn't drink it's blood!"

"Yea, I know that. God, Leah, I think about it everyday! I can't stand the thought of her killing something just to drink it's blood. But, that's not my Bella!"

"You're right, Jake! She's not _your Bella_. She is a monster now, the worst kind. And she never was _your Bella_ anyway. Just let her go!"

I turned and shot back, "Like you've let go of Sam? You think I don't hear you crying out his name while you sleep? How many months has it been, Leah, and you still haven't let go, so don't lecture me."

"Fuck you, Jake," she spit at me as she got out of the car and slammed the door. She opened the stairway door and disappeared behind it. I put my head back and closed my eyes. _Shit!_ I knew she was right. I wasn't fucking stupid. I knew what Bella was now. As much as I wanted let go of Bella, every time I thought about it, I felt this panic inside and I held on to her tighter. And the way I had been thinking about Leah lately, made me feel like I was betraying Bella somehow. _Damnit all to hell!_ I opened my eyes and looked over at the stairway door. I knew I was fucked up, but I didn't need to take it out on Leah. She had been nothing but supportive the whole time we had been here. And how she dealt with Sam was her own business. I shouldn't have thrown that at her. I guess I just didn't want her telling me what to do, or how to feel.

I finally opened the car door and got out. I walked upstairs and opened the apartment door and closed then locked it. I didn't see Leah anywhere then I noticed the bathroom door was closed and the water was running. She must be taking a bath. I had learned in the last few months of living with her, she did that when she was upset.

I plopped down on the couch. I didn't like that we had fought. This was the first time we had done that since we'd been living here together. I really didn't like how it felt. I stood up and walked to the bathroom door. The water had stopped so I knocked on the door and said, "Leah? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be such a dick. I know you were just trying to help. I'm going to order pizza and when you're done, we'll talk, OK?"

I heard her sniff then she answered, "OK." I smiled and took out my phone to order the pizza.

She came out of the bathroom and walked over to the couch and sat down beside me. I turned to face her and said, "Leah, I'm not mad at you, OK? I understand why you said what you did, but you just caught me off guard. The last few weeks have been so good, and I wasn't thinking about her as much, and then . . . "

"I know. I'm so fucking stupid! I know you have been doing better, and I had to open my big fat mouth . . ."

"Hey! Listen to me," I interrupted. "I know you only said what you did because you care about me. Thanks for that. It means a lot. And, I'm sorry I said what I did to you about Sam. That's your own business."

"And I'm sorry that I yelled at you about her. That's your business. But, I want you to know that I have let go some. I don't think about him near as much as I used to. But I can't help what I dream about," she said. Then she smiled.

_Yea, that's what I was waiting for. _I smiled and said, "You know, you're much prettier when you smile." She rolled her eyes at me and looked away. I put my hand under her chin and pulled it toward me. "You are, you know. Pretty." I really meant that. I had been noticing it more and more lately. Maybe it's because here she was so happy and she smiled more. At home she was always so sad and angry. I found myself staring at her lips and wanting to kiss them again like I did that evening in the park. I started to lean toward her and . . . there was a knock on the door.

Leah jumped at the knock and I smiled at her. She seemed a little flustered. I kind of liked that for some reason. I got up and answered the door and paid the delivery guy for the two pizzas. I shut the door and put the pizza boxes on the floor by the couch. Leah slid off of the couch and sat on the floor to open one of the boxes. I went to the kitchen to grab us some drinks and napkins. I walked over and sat down on the floor and handed Leah a pop and a napkin. "Thanks, Jake. For the pizza . . . and for the talk."

I smiled. "You're welcome." I took out a slice and took a big bite. "Oh, that is so good," I said with my mouth full. "I'm starving!" She laughed and nodded. I picked up the remote and turned the TV on. "Hey, look. _Sponge Bob_."

"Good God, Jake. What is it with you and _Sponge Bob_?" She rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Leah. It's classic comedy."

"Whatever."

And then, life went back to normal again. At least, for awhile.

Leah POV:

The weekend was almost here. I was leaving work on Thursday thinking about how we would be going home in just in just a week. I still wasn't sure either of us was ready, but we were going none the less. At least Jake felt a little better about it. He was back to whistling when he came up the stairs from work. I found myself looking forward to that at the end of the day.

I made chili dogs for dinner. I don't know why, but Jake loved them. And for some reason, you had to have them with corn chips. Not sure why. But it was worth it when he came through the door and said, "Chili dogs? Fucking awesome!"

He went right to the bathroom to shower then he came out wearing just gym shorts. I felt that little flutter in my stomach whenever I saw Jake half naked. You think I would be used to it by now, but I wasn't. "Sit down. Dinner's ready."

We ate our wonderful gourmet meal, and I did the dishes while he called home. His dad wasn't home the last time he called, so he called to talk to him now. It sounded like Billy was pretty excited about Jake coming home. "OK, Dad. Yep. See ya on Thursday. Bye." He closed the phone and put it on the table then just stared at it for a moment. I hung up the dish towel and said, "TV time?"

He smiled and said, "Sure, sure."

We were sprawled on the couch watching some horrible reality show on TV when I found myself suddenly thinking about Sam. Not about how I hated him being with Emily, or even how he had broken my heart, but how much I missed being with him . . . sexually. We had a very active sex life right before he left me, and lately, I had been remembering that very vividly. When Jake said he heard me call out Sam's name, he didn't know, but I was having very real sex dreams. I wondered if I said anything else while I was asleep! I wasn't sure why I was having them now, after all this time. I had a feeling it had something to do with being around Jake.

I glanced at Jake again and remembered how he kissed me that night in the park. His lips were so soft, yet . . . _Stop it, Leah!_ I was having a harder time lately watching Jake walk from the bathroom to the bedroom wearing nothing but a towel. At night, I found myself thinking about the one time we had sex, that night in the woods. It was very brief, but so intense. I kept wondering if it happened again, would it be as intense? Even now, lounging on the couch with him while he had no shirt on was driving me crazy. I wanted so badly to run my hands over his chest and shoulders. He was lying on the couch on one end, and I was lying on the other end, with my legs hanging over his. He had his arm draped over his head which really showed off his muscular arms and his abs and . . .

I jumped as Jake put his hand on my leg. "Hey, Leah. What's with you? You haven't said a word for like an hour. Are you OK?"

I gave him a fake smile and said, "Um, yea. Fine." He picked up the remote and turned off the TV.

"Yea, OK," he said. I noticed he didn't move his hand from my leg. I felt like it was burning a hole right through my jeans. "Leah? What is it? Something is up. Did I do something to piss you off?" I turned to look at him and smiled at the concern written on his face.

"No, Jake, not at all. It's not you," I lied. "It has to do with me and . . . Sam."

"Oh," he said quickly. We had done a good job at not talking about Sam or Bella lately. Especially after what happened the last time we did. We were both trying our best to heal on our own, and I have to admit, that gaping hole in my chest had closed a lot since I had been away from him. "I'm sorry, Leah."

I smiled and said, "No, it's OK. I actually am feeling a lot better about that situation. Being away from them has really helped, you know? It's just . . . "I stopped. "No, this is just too embarrassing." I started to get up off of the couch when Jake grabbed my leg and stopped me.

He sat up and said, "Leah, I hope you know by now you can tell me anything. We're friends. I'm always here for you," he said with a soft smile. _Oh, that really was not helping._

"I know, Jake. It's just not the kind of thing I thought we would ever talk about. It's about . . . sex." I saw his eyebrows shoot up and then he gave me a grin. "Oh really?" he said slowly. I gave him a sideways glance and he said, "Sounds interesting. Go on."

I hesitated then said, "Well, you know Sam and I went out for over two years before . . . we broke up. We were 16 when we first started dating, so we agreed we wouldn't rush into anything. So, the first time we had sex was actually on the night of our Senior Prom." I saw him snicker and I said, "Yea, I know, how cliché, prom night. Anyway, we were both, um, virgins, and we learned from each other, you know? And we got kind of good at it." _Oh my God. I can't believe I just said that. _I turned away from him and said, quickly, "OK, I'm done. I can't do this."

He smiled and took my hand and said, "No, Leah. This is important to you. Go on."

I rolled my eyes and said, "Well, after Sam phased and disappeared for those weeks . . ." I stopped for a moment. Thinking about that time still killed me inside. _Not knowing what happened to him, if he would come back_. I took a deep breath and went on, "Anyway, he came back and he was . . . changed. But of course I didn't know then into what and he couldn't tell me. He kept begging me to just trust him, and asking me not to leave him. And then, we . . . did it, and it was really different. More aggressive . . ." I saw a flicker of anger jump into his eyes. "No, Jake, I don't mean like he forced me, or hurt me. It was just different from before. More physical, but . . . I really liked it. And for those two weeks we had together before Emily . . . we did it . . . a lot. Any chance we had to be alone. And, then it was over and I had to deal with all the emotional bullshit and . . . " I had to stop and I put my head into my hands. "And then, when we, you and me . . . " I looked up, "that night in the woods. I know it was short, but it was really intense. Maybe because we are both wolves or some shit, I don't know, but, I can't stop thinking about it . . . "

"Leah? Are you telling me, you're horny?" Jake asked with a grin. My mouth dropped open and I could feel the embarrassment completely envelope me. I grabbed the pillow from behind me and swung it at Jake's head. "God, Jake! I knew I couldn't talk to you about this," I yelled at him. I started to get up from the couch and he grabbed me and pulled me back down next to him, his bare chest burning the skin on my arm.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he laughed. "I just thought maybe a joke would break the tension. I didn't mean to upset you. I'll be good, OK?" I gave him a look that said I wasn't so sure about that. He crossed his heart with his finger and smiled. "Look, Leah, I know we have been trying very hard not to talk about this, but I think the time has come when we have to." I rolled my eyes and nodded.

"You know, I was a . . . well, its common knowledge among the pack that I had never had sex. Except for what happened between us. And, yea, it was really intense for me, too." He looked into my eyes and put his hand on my cheek. "I still feel so guilty for using you like that, but I find myself thinking about it, too."

"Jake, I told you that night not to feel guilty about it! It was just two people reaching out to each other in pain. You needed me, and I could have stopped you, but I didn't. I needed you, too."

He took my hand and looked at it for a moment then said, "Living here with you, and getting to know you, has been really great. I am amazed by you so much and I am really glad to have you as my best friend. But, I can't lie, Leah. Watching you walk around in your underwear, or your nightshirt . . . it's starting to get to me. You're a sexy girl," he added with a grin. I cold feel myself turn red. "I want you to know, it's really hard to sleep in there and not want you next to me. That one night we slept in that bed together was the best sleep I've had in a long time. But every night since then, I've wanted you there with me . . . but not just to sleep."

"I know, me, too," I said softly. "But, Jake, what if we . . . do it and then you decide it was a mistake . . . I can't lose you."

"I know, I've thought about that, too, and I feel the same way. I want you so much, but how can I want to have sex with you when I still . . . _shit_." He let go of my hand to run his hands through his hair. "You know I'm not ready to love . . . "

"Jake, stop. I know that." He looked at me. "I'm not either, believe me. But, sex doesn't always have to be all about love and romance. It can be about comfort and taking away the loneliness and . . . it can be really fun." I smiled at him.

He laughed. "Just for fun, huh?"

"Yea, sure! Why the hell not? We're two single consenting adults, who live on our own. And it's nobody's business but ours, so . . . "

We sat there staring into each other's eyes for what seemed like a really long time. I knew we were both trying to decide what to do next. If we took this step now, there was no going back. All these weeks we had spent living together had brought us close . . . as friends. Jake had turned into the best friend I'd ever had. I didn't want to lose him over something as trivial as sex. But sitting here, next to him, feeling his hand lightly running up and down my arm, I was really having a hard time seeing it as a problem.

Finally, Jake made the decision for both of us. He leaned toward me and put his lips gently onto mine. I closed my eyes and savored the feeling. He pulled back and I opened my eyes to find him looking at me for a response. I smiled and put my hands on his chest and kissed him back. Only, I wasn't as gentle. He responded quickly and licked at my lips with his tongue until I opened my mouth to him. I felt a fire go though me that hadn't been there in a very long time. He leaned forward and I lay back on the couch as we made out. Our lips moved over one another's and our tongues darted in and out. _Oh, and it's better than I dreamed it would be!_ His hand crept up under my shirt and he rubbed it lightly up and down my side. I ran my hands over his huge shoulders and marveled at how strong he was. He had fit his very large body between my legs and I had one foot on the floor and the other leg was leaning against the back of the couch. He was exploring kissing my neck and earlobe and then back to my lips. After kissing for a while, he pulled back and looked down at me. "Leah, I know I don't have a lot of experience with this . . ."

I smiled and said, "Oh, Jake. For not much experience, you are a really good kisser." He laughed and went back to kissing me. He played at my lips, lightly kissing them, then taking just my bottom lip into his mouth and running his tongue lightly back and forth. It was driving me crazy! I found myself wanting so much more, but I kept trying to tell myself maybe we shouldn't rush into anything. It was enough to have his lips on mine and his hand on my skin. I ran my hands up and down his strong back as he kissed his way from my ear down my throat and onto the cleavage that was exposed from the buttons open on my shirt. I found myself wishing he would rip that shirt off of me and . . . suddenly, Jake sat up and said, "Um, wow. Maybe I should, uh, I need to stop." I smiled at him as he adjusted himself.

I sat up and said, "Um, maybe we shouldn't rush into anything. Maybe it's just us living in such close quarters, you know? Raging hormones?"

"Oh, they're raging all right!" he said as he leaned back and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry about that," I said sympathetically. Although mine were raging, too.

He opened his eyes and looked at me. Then he grinned. "What?" I asked curiously.

"I haven't made out with anyone like that since I went to Cindy Grey's birthday party in 10th grade. Embry dared me to make out with a girl before we left, so I told Cindy that I would give her a kiss for her birthday gift because I hadn't brought her one. She grabbed my hand and took me out into the garage and we made out for like 15 minutes." I chuckled at that. "I wasn't known for things like that. I was the shy one. Embry was the ladies' man. I think I shocked her."

"So didn't you have like every other girl in the 10th grade come looking for you after that?" I asked him.

He smiled. "A couple. But, that was the summer that Bella visited her dad and . . . well, I couldn't think of kissing any other girl but her after that." His smiled disappeared and he got real quiet. _Shit. Way to kill the mood._

"Oh," I mumbled. I got up and went to the kitchen and got a glass of water. As I stood there drinking it, Jake disappeared into the bathroom. Pretty soon, I heard the shower running. Cold shower, probably. I sighed and went to the bedroom and changed into my pajamas. I got out my sheets and pillow and put them on the couch. Not really how I had wanted this night to end.

Jake walked out of the bathroom in his boxers and stopped in front of me. He leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips then said, "Night, Leah," as he walked into the bedroom and crawled into bed. I plopped down on the couch and thought about our little make out session. God, it felt so good to kiss someone again! And I realized that I hadn't thought of Sam once. Just Jake. _Hmmm, maybe I could do this again._ I smiled at that thought then laid down and pulled the sheet over me. I think I fell asleep with that smile on my face.

The next morning, Jake got up and went to work early. He didn't even eat breakfast. I hoped he wasn't upset about last night. I really did not want things to change between us. Jake and I were friends and lately I was realizing how important that friendship was to me.

I worked my lunch shift and stopped at the grocery store on the way home. I decided to throw together a lasagna for dinner tonight. I had it in the oven and was making some garlic bread to go with it when I heard Jake come up the stairs. I found I was a little nervous. I really hoped he wouldn't make a big deal out of last night. The door opened and Jake walked in. He looked over at me and smiled. "Something smells really good," he said.

"Lasagna and garlic bread," I told him.

"Great! I need to shower. I was on my back most of the day under this old Ford I've been working on. I can feel dirt in my hair. Do I have time?"

"Yep. Fifteen minutes."

He headed to the bathroom and closed the door. _Hmmm, he seemed fine to me. Good._ I put the garlic bread in the oven and set the table. I was just taking the lasagna out of the oven when Jake walked out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around him and into the bedroom_. I really should be used to this by now, but my heart was flip-flopping. Why does he have to be so damn sexy?_

"Dinner's ready!" I called out. Jake walked out in just a pair of gym shorts and sat down at the table. I dished up the lasagna and added a piece of bread and he dug in. "God, Leah. You are such a good cook. I bet I've gained at least 20 pounds since we've been here."

"You sure don't look like it," I said. Then I realized what I said and I'm sure I turned red.

I glanced over at Jake and saw him grin. _Great._ "So, you've been checking me out?"

I shot him a look and took a bite of my garlic bread. "Don't flatter yourself, Black. You know you're hot. You don't need me to verify that for you." He just laughed and shoved a forkful of lasagna into his mouth. It was quiet for awhile as we both ate our dinner.

"I talked to Seth today," I told him. "He needed some help with his homework. It was kind of cool. He never would have asked me for help before. I guess us not living on top of each other has been good for us. I even kind of miss him. And don't you dare tell him that!"

Jake smiled and said, "Sure, sure. As long as you don't tell him that I miss him, too." I smiled as he leaned back and pushed his plate away from him. "Man, I'm stuffed. That was great. Thanks, Leah."

"Sure." I stood up and started clearing the table. Jake offered to help me clean up and we had the work done quickly. Then he walked into the living room and flipped on the TV. I hesitated. I wasn't sure about laying on the couch with him. _Would he want that? Could I trust myself to behave? _

"Leah? You coming?" _Not yet, but I really want to. Stop it, Leah! _

"Yep," I said as I walked over to the couch. I made sure to sit all the way at the opposite end of the couch away from Jake. I curled my legs under me and leaned on the arm. Jake looked over at me and asked, "What, don't trust me?"

I rolled my eyes at him as he grinned. _I don't trust me! _We sat there and watched some stupid comedy show then Jake slid over to the middle of the couch and put his arm around me. _What is he up to? _I just sat there and stared at the TV as he bent his head to nibble at my neck. I instinctively moved my head to the side slightly to allow him access to my neck. I heard him chuckle as he kissed his way to my cheek. "I've been thinking about this all day, Leah." _Oh God, me too._ He pulled me closer and turned my face to him. He stared for just a moment at my lips as he ran his thumb lightly along my bottom lip then he leaned in and covered my lips with his. I felt a shudder go through my whole body. We played at each other's lips, until he parted mine with his tongue. As his tongue explored and teased, his hand worked its way under my t-shirt to touch the skin on my stomach.

"Jake," I breathed. "I don't know if we should start this."

"Too late," he said softly. He captured my lips again and I surrendered. I wound my arms around his neck and my fingers into his hair. He was so good at kissing, that I felt myself melting. My hands left his hair to run over his shoulders and his strong back. I pulled his bottom lip into my mouth and sucked on it and I heard him give a little groan.

Then he pulled away and looked into my eyes. He grinned as he leaned down and put me over his shoulder to pick me up and carry me into the bedroom. He set me down on my feet and I wrapped my arms around his neck and put my lips back on his. I knew he didn't have much experience in kissing or anything else, but right now, it was working on me. I felt my whole body tingle and a slow burn start in the pit of my stomach. I felt him tug at my shirt, so I stepped back and pulled my shirt off over my head and threw it onto the floor. Then I laid my palms onto his shoulders and slid them down over his muscles and onto his chest. "God, Jake, you are so hot! Every time you walk out of the bathroom in just a towel, I want to knock you down and do just this," I told him. I leaned forward and put my lips on his chest. I had always wanted to do that.

He grinned and said, "So you noticed, huh? Why do you think I was strutting around in just a towel?"

I looked up at saw that shit-eating grin. "You jerk!" I said as he laughed.

"Yea, like you weren't walking around in your skimpy pajama shorts and tank tops for my benefit?" OK, he had me there. "You have a great body, Leah." I smiled back slyly. I pulled his face down to mine and whispered, "Kiss me again, Jake." He put his lips to mine and I bit at his bottom lip. He kissed back more aggressively and I felt him reach for the hooks on my bra. He fumbled for a little bit, but they finally came undone and he rubbed my back lightly with his fingertips. I felt that tingle run down my back and through my whole body. I broke away from him and reached up and slid the straps of my bra down my arms and let it fall. His eyes were glued to my chest and I reached down and picked up his hand and placed it on me so he cupped my breast. His eyes darted to mine and I nodded. He used his thumb to run it lightly over the tip. I shuddered as he kept it up. Then his other hand began doing the same on my other breast. I closed my eyes and tipped my head back and savored the feeling of arousal that sped to my core as the wetness spread onto my underwear.

I found myself wanting to be free of my clothes, so I unzipped my jeans and slid them down over my hips and stepped out of them. Jake ran his hands down over my ass and then said softly, "I love that you wear panties with little hearts all over them." I looked up at his grin and said, "If you tell anyone, I will kill you." He laughed and kissed me then said, "Your secret is safe with me."

I put my hands on the waistband of his shorts and smiled. Then I jerked them down and marveled at what I saw. I had seen all of the guys naked before, including Jake, but not like this. Jake's need was very evident and quite large. I looked up into his face and smiled as I ran my hand lightly over him. He closed his eyes and his head tipped back and I was afraid he might lose it right there.

I took both of his hands and stepped back until I felt the back of my legs hit the bed. I sat down and scooted back onto the bed and Jake crawled onto the bed beside me. "Are you sure, Jake?" I asked hesitantly. He crushed his lips on mine as an answer and I met him and kissed back just as aggressively. I knew he had so much to learn, and that he couldn't learn it all at once. I also knew that he wouldn't be able to take it very slow this first time. When Sam and I first started, he was always in a hurry. It took him quite awhile to learn how to slow down and enjoy it. I kissed Jake and ran my hand slowly down his chest then took him into my hand. When I felt how hard he was, I decided maybe I couldn't wait either. I had been without sex for a very long time. I decided to let him take the lead and do what he wanted. It felt incredible just to have his hands and lips on me as he explored my body.

He broke away from my lips to pull my underwear down. I noticed he left them around my knees, and I found that sexy somehow. He looked up at me and I knew he wanted to touch, but he seemed unsure of how to proceed. I took his hand and placed it on top of my mound. He rubbed his hand back and forth a couple of times then his finger dipped and stroked the folds there and found where I was very wet. He laid beside me and as he kissed my lips, his fingers explored until he found the little nub he was looking for. I gasped as he rolled it between his fingers then he rubbed and stroked and played until I arched my back and cried out and came for the first time in a very long time. He smiled at me and said, "Wow, that was amazing."

I laughed and said, "Yes, it was." I grabbed his head and brought his lips back to mine and ravaged his mouth with my tongue. It was amazing and I definitely wanted more.

It wasn't long until I felt him reach down and rip my underwear off. He moved on top of me and pressed against my leg. "Yes, Jake," I whispered to let him know it was OK. He stopped at the entrance then pushed in slowly. I moaned and he asked quickly, "Are you OK?" I smiled and said, "Yes! God, yes. Now start moving!" He didn't hold back at all. I wrapped my legs around his waist and dug my nails into his shoulders as he worked hard to find that release. "Yes, Jake, yes, yes!" I cried as I pumped my hips to meet his every stroke. Oh the feeling of him inside me was more than I could stand. And when I came, it shook me hard, like I had never felt before. My body was . . . humming with this strange vibration . . . maybe it was because I hadn't had sex in a long time. I didn't know, but at this point, I didn't care. I heard Jake give a little cry as he let go and then slumped onto me. We both fought to catch our breath.

Finally Jake rose slightly so he could look down at me. "Leah?" I opened my eyes and purred, "Mmm, hmmm?" My inner wolf was very happy right now.

He grinned and said, "You were right. Sex can be fun. I think I like it." I had to laugh at that. What guy didn't?

Jake POV:

_Oh. My. God. I can't believe how fucking fantastic that felt! I couldn't believe it when Leah started talking to me about sex! But, man, am I glad she did._ I was lying on the bed propped up against the pillows with my arm around her. My whole body felt like it was . . . electrified somehow. I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to get the smile off of my face.

"Jake?"

"Yes, Leah?"

"Are you still smiling?"

"Yes, I am."

"Me, too." Then she snuggled into my side and I rested my chin on her head.

"You're not, um, sorry, are you?" I asked her. I knew I wasn't, but I wanted to make sure she was OK with this.

"Hell, no. According to you, I was the one that was horny, remember?"

I had to laugh at that. "Well, uh, yea. I guess I'm wondering, um, was I . . . OK?"

She sat up and looked at me. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Well, yea. I wasn't sure what I was doing and . . ."

"Oh Jake. Don't worry about that. You did _just fine_. And you will just get better and better with more experience, you know. "

"Really? Well, I look forward to that. And, I hope you know that you are now officially sleeping in here with me. No more couch for you."

"I can do that." She sat up and crawled onto my lap to straddle me. "Now, how about we start on that experience?"

I smiled and took her breasts in my hands and rubbed my thumbs against her nipples. She smiled and tilted her head back and said, "Oh, Jake. You are such a fast learner."

I opened my eyes and pulled her closer. I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled her scent. It was dark, still the middle of the night. Leah was sound asleep. I felt so relaxed, and so . . . _happy? Could I be?_ Those first months here I had worked hard to bury any feelings. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. I just got up, went to work, came home and spent time hanging out with Leah then went to bed. Nighttime was always the hardest. To get through an entire night without any dreams of Bella . . . was impossible. Some nights, Leah had to wake me from the nightmares, but she always left and went back to the couch. Now, I held her close and hoped I could sleep an entire night without any dreams of . . . _her_. I closed my eyes and felt myself drift away . . .

"Mmmmm." I felt her hand lightly grazing my chest, and then traveling down, down, _oh yea, wow. __I could wake up like this every day. _I thought for just a second and realized that I had slept soundly with no dreams. A big smile crept over my face as I enjoyed what Leah's hands were doing to my body.

"Hey, handsome. I need to shower. Wanna join me?" I heard her whisper in my ear.

I turned to look at her and smiled. "What do you think?"

Much, much later, we sat on the bed eating Chinese food. Growing up in LaPush, we never had a chance to try Chinese. But one night, Leah came home with some menu that Carol had given her with some suggestions on what to order. So we tried it and now we were hooked on it! Leah had her little carton of chicken fried rice and I was eating moo-shoo pork. Leah was wearing my t-shirt because it was the first thing she found to slip on to answer the door when the delivery guy knocked. I had to admit, there was something really sexy about that. I was stretched out with the sheet over me. I told her I wasn't getting dressed today. I was spending my whole Saturday naked. She didn't seem to mind.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you look wearing my black t-shirt?" I said to her.

She grinned and answered, "Do you have any idea how sexy you look wearing this black t-shirt?" I laughed and she added, "I mean it, Jake. When you wear this black t-shirt and jeans and we go out, girls are always checking you out. Remember the girl at the book store?"

"Yea, whatever."

She rolled her eyes and took another bite of rice. "So, you never told me, how did you sleep last night?" she asked me.

I grinned and answered, "Like a baby."

She smiled as she took a bite of her egg roll. "Good."

I just kept grinning at her while I ate. Finally she said, "What is going on in that head of yours, Jacob Black?"

"I think you know," I said as I took a bite of pork.

She laughed and said, "Oh no, what have I done? I have a feeling we won't be leaving the apartment anytime soon."

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

"Jake. I knew you would like sex, but I didn't think you would be obsessed with it!"

"Oh, Leah. You have no idea."

She laughed and picked up a pillow and threw it at me. I deflected it and it hit the floor. "Nice try," I said. I scooped up the last bite of my Chinese and then put the carton on the floor. I picked up the pillow she threw and put it behind me. I patted my belly and said, "Man, that stuff is great, but I'm getting a little flabby. I'll have to run an extra mile to work that off."

She snorted and said, "Yea, right. You, flabby. You and your rock hard abs."

"Yea? Rock hard, huh? Want to feel?" I ran my hand over my abs and wiggled my eyebrows at her.

She reached over and smacked me on the leg. "Would you knock it off! At least let me get some nourishment." She ate another bite of fried rice.

I leaned back and let her finish her meal. She got up and gathered all of our trash and took it out to the kitchen. She walked back into the bedroom and climbed into bed to lay down beside me. I put my arm around her and she laid her head on my chest. I gently pulled my fingers through her hair and she ran her hand lightly over my stomach. I still was amazed at how relaxed I felt. How at peace I was. I couldn't remember a time in my life ever feeling like this. _I hope Leah feels the same_. "Leah?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you feeling as good as I am right now?"

"I feel incredible right now."

I smiled. "Good. I'm glad. So why did we wait three months to do this?" I asked.

"Um, because you had some stupid idea to be noble and not 'use me,' remember?"

"Oh yea. You are OK with this, right? I mean, I think you know that I'm not ready for any kind of . . ."

She sat up and stopped me with, "Jake, please, don't even say the word. Neither one of us is ready for that. I like you, Jake, a lot. You're the best friend I've ever had, and I am really comfortable with you. I like living here with you. But, I can't give you anymore than that right now. I just can't."

I put my hand on her cheek and said softly, "Yea, me, too. But I can't imagine where I would be right now without you. I hope you know, Leah, what you have done for me. I like you a lot, too, and I like living here with you. And I really, really like being naked with you," I finished with a grin. I reached over and pulled my t-shirt off of her and threw it on the floor then I leaned over and put my lips on hers. God, I loved kissing her. Her lips were so soft and yet she would surprise me by biting at me or sucking my lip. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I laid her back against the pillows and kept kissing her. I left her lips to kiss her cheek, then her throat, then down her shoulder, and finally to her perfectly shaped breasts. I circled her nipple with my tongue then drew it into my mouth. She sighed and arched her back slightly as I teased and I sucked on it. We spent the rest of the afternoon kissing and touching and she showed me things I never thought I could enjoy so much. And then she climbed on top and took me inside and rode me until she cried out. It was so hot to watch her like that. I flipped her over and drove into her until I came. As we lay there panting, she looked over and said, "Jake, you're killing me. I know I told you I missed sex, but I've never had a workout like this. You are really, fucking incredible."

I smiled. "Yea? Good to know."

I really slept hard that night. I was exhausted, but in a very good way. Leah got up in the morning and showered and dressed to go to work. She leaned down and kissed me goodbye and then left. I stretched my body out and just smiled. Life was suddenly very, very good. I rolled over and decided to sleep a little longer.

When I woke up and looked at the clock, it was after twelve. My stomach gave a very loud rumble. I crawled out of bed and walked naked to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and took out stuff to make a sandwich. I made two and grabbed a can of pop and walked over to plop down on the couch. I picked up the remote and turned on the TV as I took a bite of my sandwich. Then I laughed. Here I was, sitting naked on the couch, eating a sandwich. I had never done that in my entire life! I could get used to this.

After I finished my lunch, I made my way to the bathroom and showered. I walked to the bedroom and threw on a pair of gym shorts then decided I should do some laundry. I gathered up all my dirty clothes and then went to the bathroom to get Leah's and I took them to the kitchen to throw them in the washer. Then I decided I might as well keep going, so I vacuumed, and then cleaned the bathroom. I threw the laundry in the dryer then went back to the bedroom and made the bed. _Maybe I should make Leah something special for dinner. But what? _I remembered on our first night here she made meat loaf and told me it was her favorite dinner. I could do that. I picked up my phone and dialed. "Sue? It's Jake. I want to make meat loaf for dinner because Leah tells me it's her favorite. Can you tell me your recipe?"


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Leah POV:

"Jake! Come on, already! I told Mom I would be home by noon!" I had wrapped the pumpkin pies I made last night and had them in the car, along with my duffle bag of clothes. I knew Jake wasn't excited about going home today, but he was really dragging his feet this morning. He was still in the bedroom, getting dressed.

I stalked over to the bedroom door and looked in. Jake was dressed in my favorite black t-shirt and jeans and sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the shoe in his hand. I sat down beside him and said, "Jake, I know you're not looking forward to this, but the sooner we get going, the sooner we can come back, OK?"

He turned to look at me. Then he smiled. "Yea, I know. Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but . . . I'll miss you. For the last three months, it's just been you and me . . . you know? I mean, I like your cooking, and hanging out in front of the TV and I've suddenly become very fond of holding you close all night while I sleep . . ."

I leaned over and shut him up with a kiss. He dropped his shoe and took my face in his hands and kissed me back. I pulled back and said, "I'll miss you, too. But it is only for one night. And it's not like we can't see each other while we are there, you know. It's a pretty small town," I said with a smile.

"I know." He sighed and said, "OK, let's go get this over with," he said as he pulled on his shoe. I stood up and he followed me out to the living room. I turned and said, "Um, Jake? Where's your stuff? Aren't you packed?"

"Most of my clothes are still at home. And I don't have a bag to pack anything in, remember? You put everything in your bag when we came here. I figure I'll pack up the rest of my clothes and stuff and bring them back here."

"Don't you at least want your toothbrush?" I asked. He sighed and rolled his eyes and walked to the bathroom. He came out holding his toothbrush in his hand and then he stuck it in his back pocket. "Happy?"

I just laughed as he walked by me to open the door for me. We walked down the stairs and got into the car then Jake looked at me and said, "Ready or not, here we go."

As the scenery became more and more familiar, I felt my heart beat a little faster. I was nervous about going back, but all of a sudden, I had this rush of excitement. My whole body felt electrified, somehow as soon as we crossed the border onto the reservation. I glanced over at Jake and saw the same strange look on his face. "Did you feel that?" he asked.

I just nodded and said, "Yea. What was that?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure it has to do with the wolf thing. Have you thought about phasing at all while we're home?"

I had actually. Last night, while Jake was sleeping, I thought about phasing and running. I hated to admit it, but I missed that feeling of freedom that comes with running so fast and having the wind blow through my fur. "Yea, I have," I answered him. "I kind of miss running like that. How about you?"

He looked over and nodded. "Yea. I hate to admit it, but I kind of miss it, too."

He reached over and took my hand and held it while he drove. I had found that I really liked his touch. Just his hand on mine, or his arm around me. It made me feel safe. I had never needed that or really wanted that before. I was a girl who could take care of herself. But after being so hurt by Sam . . . well, I found I really needed to feel that more than I wanted to admit.

He finally pulled up to my house and shut off the engine. He looked over at me with such sadness in his eyes. I smiled and said, "It won't be for long. Stop it." Then he smiled and got out of the car. I got out and reached into the back for my bag. He walked me up to the front door and I stopped and turned to him. We had already decided that we shouldn't touch each other at all around anyone here at home. What we had was very personal, and just between us. But I really wanted to kiss him right now. I glanced around and gave him a quick kiss. He smiled and I opened the door and walked inside.

"Mom! I'm home!" I called out. She came running out of the kitchen and pulled me into a fierce hug. "Oh Leah! I have missed you so much," she said into my hair. As I held onto her, I realized just how much I had missed her. She pulled back and there were tears in her eyes. She had her long black hair down for a change, and it looked like she had it cut into some layers. It looked really nice. "Are you OK?" she asked as she brushed my hair back out of my face. Something she had done to me since I was a child. "You look good," she added with a smile.

"Thanks, Mom. I feel really good," I told her with a smile. "You look really nice. You got your hair cut, didn't you?" She just nodded then looked behind me at Jake. She smiled and said, "Come here, you." She pulled him into a hug, too. She stepped back and looked up and him and said, "You look good, too. I'm glad."

"Thanks, Sue. Man, it smells good in here!" he told her.

Suddenly, I remembered my pies! I turned and put my hand on Jake's arm. "Jake, I forgot to bring in the pies," I said to him. I started to walk past him and he said, "It's OK. I'll go get them." He smiled and walked out the door.

I turned back to Mom to see her looking at me with squinted eyes. "What?" I asked her.

"Nothing. Just observing," she answered. _Observing? What did she mean by that? _"You two are close," she stated. "What's going on there?"

I rolled my eyes. _Well, that took all of two minutes._ "Mom, we are very good friends. Leave it at that, OK?" She just stared at me for a few more seconds then said, "Alright. If you say so." Nothing gets by Sue Clearwater.

Jake walked back in carrying my two pies. Mom walked over and took them from him. "Thanks, honey. I'll put these in the kitchen."

Just then, Seth came bounding down the stairs. "Hey! I thought I heard you down here. Welcome home, bro!" He launched himself at Jake who gave him a bro hug that ended up with Seth in a headlock and Jake rubbing his head with his knuckles. He let him go and Seth stood up and looked at me then smiled. "Hey, sis." _Jake first then me. Well, at least I know where I rank_.

I smiled and put my arms around him and hugged him. I really did miss the little runt. He actually hugged me back. We broke apart and he said, "It's good to have the pack together again!"

I saw Jake's eyes cloud over a little. "Don't start, Seth. I'm not here as Alpha right now. I'm just Jake, OK?"

Seth hung his head and mumbled, "Yea. Sorry."

Jake slugged him in the arm and said, "It's OK. Hey, I got some time. Grab a football and let's go out and throw a little, huh?"

Seth brightened and ran upstairs to grab a ball. I looked over at him and said, "You softie." I turned to go to the kitchen, but he grabbed my arm and hauled me up against his chest. "Leah, kiss me goodbye, OK?"

I looked into his eyes and saw an intensity I hadn't see there before. I nodded and put my lips on his. I knew it wouldn't take Seth long, so it was quick, but intense. I pulled back and he stared into my eyes for a second then he smiled and let me go. "Thanks. See ya later?"

I smiled and nodded as Seth came running down the stairs. "Let's go!"

They walked out the door and I watched them through the window as they threw the football back and forth. That kiss was different. Was it because we were here? Or was it . . . something else? Was I starting to have feelings for Jake? Was he starting to have feelings for me? God, I didn't want to go there.

I stepped back from the window and walked into the kitchen to help Mom finish dinner.

Jake POV:

I drove up to the house and this intense feeling of sadness and excitement ran through me at the same time. I hadn't lived here for so long. I had been homeless before I left here and moved to Seattle. Now I was a little nervous about actually walking inside this house. I parked the car and got out and walked up to the door. I stood there just taking it all in when suddenly the door whipped open and Rachel threw her arms around me. "Oh, Jake! You're home!"

I smiled and hugged her back. "Yea, Rach. I'm home." I had to admit, it felt good to have her arms around me.

"Well, get your ass in here," she demanded as she took my hand and dragged me inside. I shut the door behind me and followed her into the living room. "Dad! Jake's here!" she called out. Paul was lounging on the couch eating an apple. _Huh! Some things haven't changed, I see._

He looked over and said, "Hey, Jake."

"Hey, Paul," I returned. Enough said there.

"Welcome home, son," I heard behind me. I turned and looked down at Billy. "Hey, Dad." I bent down and hugged him. He held on a little longer than usual then he let go. "You look good! City life agreeing with you?"

"Well, we actually live in a smaller neighborhood, so it's not really like living in the city. But, yea, I like it."

He just nodded. I knew he hated that I wasn't living here. I guess he was hoping that I would say that I hated it and I was coming home. But I couldn't say that. I'd be lying.

I looked around at the house. I could tell Rachel was living here again. It was cleaner and there wasn't as much junk piled all around. It looked like she had made some new curtains and it felt, brighter, I guess. "Place looks good, Rachel. I can tell you're in charge again."

She laughed. "Yea, what a pigpen you guys lived in. Geez. Took me weeks to get everything cleaned and organized. Sit down, Jake. Can I get you something to drink? Dinner will be ready in about a half hour."

"No, I'm good." I sat down on one end of the couch and Dad wheeled up next to me.

"Tell me about your job. You seem to like this guy, Dan." I smiled. Dad always knew how to make me feel more comfortable. I sat there with him and told him about Dan and Kristy, and their son, Adam, who was in the Army. I talked about some of the cars I had worked on, and all the stuff Dan was teaching me. "It's a great job. He's made me think about opening my own garage someday."

Dad smiled. "That would be great. I'm glad you've found something you love to do. Makes life sweeter."

I laughed and said, "Yes, it does."

"So, you are still living with Leah?" I nodded. _Come on, Dad. Don't go there. _"How's that going?" _He went there._

"Good, Dad. We're just friends. Good friends. She's working at a restaurant about a block away from our apartment. She's happy now. She is a much different Leah. It's been really good for her to get away from here and . . . away from Sam."

He nodded. "I understand that. Sam and Emily are getting married soon. I hope they can all put this behind them."

"Yea, me, too. I think Leah finally has. Although, I don't how it will be if she sees them while we're here." _I didn't know. I knew while we were in Seattle, she seemed better. But now, being back here, would she still be as strong? _

"Dinner's ready!" Rachel called out.

"Man, that turkey smells so good," I told Dad.

He grinned and said, "The let's go eat it!" I stood up and wheeled him toward the kitchen.

After dinner, Paul sat down on the couch and turned on the football game. I sat with him and tried to watch, but my mind kept drifting. Being here, brought back old feelings and old memories. I kept pushing them aside, but they didn't go far enough away. Paul looked at me with his smart ass smile and asked, "So, you and Leah. You nailed her yet?"

I shook my head and turned to look at him. "Same old Paul. How is that any of your business?"

He just grinned. "You did, didn't you? You finally got laid! Good for you, bro!" And then he pounded me on the back.

"Look, Paul. Leah and I live together as FRIENDS. Just friends. Neither one of us is looking to fall in love. We're both done with that bullshit for awhile."

"I didn't say anything about love. You don't have to be in love to bang her. Come on, bro! Leah's pretty hot. We've all seen that."

"Nice talking to you, Paul," I said through my clenched teeth as I got up and walked into the kitchen.

I ripped open the fridge and took out a beer. I popped the top and took a long drink. Rachel looked at me and said, "Um, last time I looked you weren't 21 yet. What's with the beer?"

"I need something to stay in the same room with your boyfriend for more than five minutes without killing him."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know why you have such a hard time with him. He's a great guy."

I took another swig of the beer and told her, "Oh yea, Rach. He's a prince." I drank down the rest of the can, then set it down on the counter and belched, "I need some air. I'll be back."

I walked to the front door and walked out, slamming the door behind me. _Why did I let Paul bug me so much? I've know Paul for a long time, and he's always been a big mouth jerk. I used to be able to put up with him, but now that he was banging my sister . . . God, like I need THAT mental picture in my head._ I walked out to the garage and turned on the light.

I just stood there and looked around. It looked so small and dingy to me now. So many memories came flooding back to me. _Me and Embry taking apart our bikes when we were kids. Pushing the Rabbit in here and trying to scab parts to fix it. All those days spent here with Bella, working on those fucking motorcycles. I closed my eyes and let the pain surround me. All that time spent here with her, wanting to kiss her and being too afraid. How I wished now I had kissed her. Maybe if I had moved faster, she would have fallen in love with me enough . . . Stop it, Jake! No matter what, nothing would ever have been enough for her._

I jumped as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and answered, "Hello?"

"Hey. How's it going for you?" I smiled. _How did Leah always know when I needed her?_

"Right now? Pretty shitty. I even drank a beer. That tell you anything?" I told her.

She laughed. "Oh, Jake. Just take Paul outside and kick the shit out of him. You know it would make you feel better."

I laughed. "Well, I almost did. Especially when he asked me if I 'nailed' you yet."

"What a fucking jerk! What did you tell him?"

"I told him it wasn't any of his business. That's when he congratulated me on getting laid. Look, I told him we lived together as just friends, but I'm sure he'll shoot his mouth off around the guys. Forced me to go out and get some air. Unfortunately, I'm standing in the garage, which I'm finding wasn't such a good idea. Too many memories to haunt me."

"Oh Jake. I'm coming over."

"No, Leah. Don't leave your family. Your mom was really happy to see you today. Stay there. I'm OK. I gotta quit being a baby about this someday. Maybe today is the day."

"Don't you sound so grown-up?"

"Maybe it's the beer. Maybe I should have another one?"

She laughed. "Jake, getting drunk won't solve anything. Besides, you know us with our weird wolfy metabolism that it takes a lot of alcohol to get drunk. Believe me, I've tried. But, if it makes you feel better, go for it, I guess."

"Whatever. "

"OK, well, I'll try and sneak out later. I'll find you."

"That sounds dirty. I look forward to it."

"Stop it! I thought we promised to be good while we're here."

"I don't remember promising anything. I remember discussing, but not promising."

She laughed again and I thought how much I loved hearing it. "OK, I hear you. I'll see you later. Bye." I hung up and stuffed the phone back into my pocket. Then I smiled. Maybe if I did Leah here in the garage, it might drive away the ghosts. It was definitely worth a shot.

"Just like old times," I heard behind me. I turned and saw Embry and Quil walking into the garage. "Hey, guys!" I called out. I gave each of them a bro hug. "Man, it's good to see you."

"Same here, dude," Embry said with a smile.

"So, how's it feel to be back?" Quil asked.

"Weird," I answered. "I was just standing here reliving some memories."

"We had a lot of good times here in this garage," Embry said. "Remember that one Halloween when we told Rachel and Becca we were going out, but we hid in here and then scared the shit out of them when they sneaked out to go to a party?"

I laughed. "Yea, I remember."

"And the time we snuck some of Billy's beer and brought it out here?" Quil added.

"Yea and you threw up after drinking half a can!" Embry reminded him.

"I drank more than half a can. And I didn't feel good before I came over that night."

"Yea, whatever, dude," Embry said with a laugh. I laughed at both of them. I had really, really missed them.

It got quiet for a moment then Quil said, "Are you ever coming back for good?"

I knew it was coming. I just didn't know how to answer it. "Look guys, I don't know right now. I'm happy living in Seattle for the time being. I'm sure I'll come back at some point, but not yet."

We hung out for awhile and they filled me in on what happened after I left. As hard as it was for me to hear, I needed to know. Sam backed off when he heard about how Bella was changed. And the baby didn't pose a threat at this time. The treaty was still in place, and the same rules still applied.

"You know, if you do come back, I want to run with you, bro. I want to be in your pack," Embry said seriously.

I hung my head. "Me, too, Jake. Nothing against Sam, but . . . "

"I know, I get it. I would love to run with you again. But, I don't know what's going to happen. I know I can't just walk away from being Alpha, but I'm not ready to come home and deal with all of this shit. I'll let you know when I know. That's the best I can do." They both nodded. "This isn't going to get you in trouble with Sam, is it? Cause I don't want that."

"Don't worry about it, Jake," Embry said. I could tell by his expression, he wasn't really sure if he would catch hell from Sam. But he was here anyway. That's why he had always been my best friend.

I told them about how Paul was driving me nuts and they laughed and told me they could take of that for me. I decided that might be fun so we made our way into the house. Paul and Rachel were making out in the kitchen as we walked in. I gave the guys a look and they just laughed. "Sorry to interrupt. Could we get something to drink?" I asked. Rachel quickly pulled away from Paul and adjusted her shirt as I looked away. Paul just gave us a sneer and walked into the living room.

"Sorry about that," Rachel said. She opened the fridge and handed us each a can of pop. The three of us walked out into the living room and Quil and Embry plopped down beside Paul, one on each side of him. Then Embry started one of their famous super hero arguments. This one was on who could fly faster, Superman or Ironman? "Seriously, dude, Ironman is a well-built machine. Of course he would be able to fly rings around Superman," Embry stated.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Superman is an alien dude from another planet! There's no way a machine is going to beat him," Quil countered.

"Yea, but that 'machine' is built for speed. Superman wasn't."

"How do you know he wasn't built for speed? Were you there on Krypton when he was born?" Quil asked sarcastically.

"Can you both just shut the fuck up!" Paul yelled at them. Oh man, I was loving this! Embry looked over and winked at me. I had forgotten how much I loved that kid.

"What? Don't you think Ironman . . ." Embry started to ask Paul. That's when Paul growled and jumped off of the couch and stormed out the door. Embry, Quil and I all high-fived. It was good to have my living room back. And the three of us back together again. "How about a snack, guys?" I asked.

"I'm hungry," Embry said.

"Dude, you're always hungry," Quil replied. We walked into the kitchen and raided the leftover pie. After we ate, Quil said he had to get going. "I'm heading over to spend some time with Claire. She made turkey cookies and she saved one just for me."

"She made cookies out of turkey?" Embry asked.

Quil rolled his eyes and smacked Embry on the back of the head. "No, shithead. The cookies are shaped like turkeys!"

I laughed at Embry's expression. "How am I supposed to know that? You just said 'turkey cookies'," he said rubbing the back of his head. "I gotta go, too. I promised Mom I'd be home for dinner." They got up and said their goodbyes and left. I put our plates in the sink and walked out of the kitchen and wondered, _Now what?_

I walked back to my bedroom and looked at my tiny little bed_. How did I sleep in this thing?_ I laid down and laughed as my feet hung off the edge, almost hitting the floor. It made me miss my queen size bed. _And Leah. Where did that come from?_ I sat up and looked around. I was kind of at a loss. I didn't know what to do with myself. Just then, Dad wheeled up to the door.

"Feeling lost?" he asked.

I smiled and nodded. "Yea, kind of. Not sure what to do with myself."

"How bout hanging out with your old man? When's the last time we sat down and did some carving?" Billy liked to carve wood into things. He taught me how when I was around 10. The last thing I carved was that wolf charm for Bella's bracelet. _Stop it, Jake. Move on!_

"Sure, sure." I said as I got off the bed and followed him.

Leah POV:

"Dinner was great, Mom, as always," I told her. She smiled her charming smile and I noticed she kept looking over at Charlie. She was dressed really nice, too. She wasn't wearing her usual jeans. She had on a nice pair of black pants and a new dark green blouse_. Hmm . . ._

"Sure was. Thanks for having me over, Sue," Charlie added. "Sure beats watching football alone with a TV dinner." God, I hated Bella so much right now. Not only had she shattered Jake, but she was torturing her dad, too. And Charlie was a great guy. He didn't deserve it anymore than Jake did. _The selfish little bitch_. They told him that Bella was really sick and couldn't see anyone, and he stupidly believed it. He would believe anything precious little Bella told him. She was supposedly away now being tested by the CDC or some shit. Whatever. They hadn't told him about the baby either. How could they?

"Speaking of football, let's go watch some, Charlie," Seth invited. Charlie smiled and pushed back his chair. "Love to, Seth." They got up from the table and went to the living room. I looked over at Mom who was staring at me.

"What?" I asked her.

"So how many ways were you thinking of killing Bella while he was talking?" she asked back.

I smiled. "Guess I'm not too good at hiding my feelings about her, huh?"

"Well, not from me," she said as she sipped her coffee. She ate her last bite of pie and said, "Great pie, by the way."

"Thanks." I sat there running the tablecloth through my fingers. "How can he buy that bullshit they're feeding him? God, she is so selfish! Look at all the destruction she's left behind to run off with her bloodsucking . . . "

"Leah, stop. Don't let Charlie hear you. I understand where you're coming from. I really do. But, it won't help Charlie to hear your rant."

She was right. Charlie didn't deserve to be treated the way she was treating him. I didn't want to add to it. "You're right. Sorry."

"Look, I agree with you, in a way. It's really hard knowing what really happened, and what she really is, and not being able to tell him. I hate it. But it's not my place to tell him. All I can do is be his friend, and be there for him when it all hits the fan."

I smiled at her. How did she become so wise? I really wanted to be more like her.

Then she smiled and said, "Well, let's clean up this mess, huh? Why does it take so long to cook Thanksgiving dinner and only 20 minutes to devour it?"

I laughed as I gathered up dishes. I really had missed my mom.

Being angry at Bella made me think of Jake. So, after I helped Mom clean up, I went up to my room and gave him a call. I couldn't believe he drank a beer! He never does that. Paul must really be getting to him. He sounded really down and I just felt like I should be with him. But, he was right. He had to grow a pair and get over this sometime. I hoped he would really try.

I sat there and looked around my room. It was really strange being back in here again. I got up and walked around and looked at things. All the pictures and posters and junk from when I was a kid. I really should take some time and clean all this out for Mom. Some of it I could throw away, but some of it . . . well, I guess I could box it up and store it. I opened my desk drawers and looked through some things. I found an old picture stuffed inside a notebook of Sam and me with his first car. I smiled as I held it. I remembered that day well.

_He was so proud that he had saved up enough money from his job at the grocery store to buy this old Ford Escort. It was a 5-speed sport and he had a lot of fun driving it. He even taught me how to drive it. On this particular day, we had driven it to the beach and I told him that I wanted a picture of us with the car. He had tossed the camera to Seth and told him to take a picture of us. I was sitting on the hood of the car and Sam was standing in front of me. I had my arms wrapped around him and we were both smiling. _

"There you are. I wondered where you drifted off to," Mom said. "I came up to get a sweater. Now that I'm not working in the kitchen, I'm a little chilly." She walked in and looked around. "You OK?"

I looked at her and smiled. "Yea. Just thinking about clearing some of this junk out of here." I threw the picture back into the drawer and closed it. _That time was over . . . done_.

"Well, there's no rush, you know. Unless . . . you're never coming back," she said. I could see the concern on her face. I didn't want to hurt her, but I really didn't know how I could come back and live here like a little girl anymore. I liked living on my own and making my own money, and my own decisions.

"Mom, I don't want to hurt you, but . . . I don't think I'll ever live in this room again. I'd like to come home to visit, but I like living on my own. I mean, I'm 20 years old. It's time, don't you think?"

She smiled and put her arm around my shoulder. "Yes, I guess it is. Doesn't mean I have to like it." She squeezed me to her side and I laid my head on her shoulder. "I miss having you around, Leah. But I have to say, you look so much happier. I'm really glad for that."

I raised my head to look at her. "I am happy, Mom. Getting away from here and from . . . him, was the best thing I ever did. That ache in my chest is finally manageable. I know I made everyone around me miserable, Mom, and I am so sorry for that. I was so devastated and I thought I could never, ever be happy again. I still don't know if I'll ever be able to love anyone like that again, but at least I know I can go on living and find some peace."

"So I take it you probably are not planning on going to the wedding?"

I gave her a look. "What do you think?" She just shrugged and sat down on my bed. "Mom, I'm finally in a good place. I don't want to go backwards, you know?"

"I understand. It's just, you and Emily were so close as kids. I really hate that this happened to the two of you. I guess, I just hoped that eventually, you both could find a way past all of this and be family again."

"Maybe, someday. But not yet. I can't." I turned and looked out the window. The sky was gray and the wind was blowing through the empty trees. I closed my eyes and forced Sam's face from my mind. I never thought about him that much in Seattle. But since I've been home, his face had been haunting me. _Go away. Leave me alone._

"Alright." Mom stood up and said, "I am not being a good hostess by ignoring my guest. Are you coming down?"

"Yea, in a minute." She nodded and left the room. I turned back to the window and leaned my forehead against the glass. I pushed Sam away and brought Jake to mind. Maybe it was because we had spent time with only each other for the last three months, but, I really missed him. Which was crazy! I just saw him like four hours ago. I shook my head and told myself, _Don't go there, Leah. Don't fall in love with him. It wouldn't be good for either one of you._

I left the window and walked back downstairs. I went to the living room and said, "Um, Mom? I'm going out for a little while. I just kind of want to look around and get used to being here again. I'll be back, OK?"

She was sitting on the sofa with Charlie. _Hmmm, I wonder what's going on there. They weren't sitting real close, but I could tell there was something familiar about it._ She smiled and nodded. "OK. "

I had grabbed a jacket, for Charlie's benefit, even though I knew I wouldn't need it, and walked out the door. I made my way to the woods and found a little spot behind some bushes. I took off my shoes and socks then my jeans, shirt and bra. I kept the shirt but put the other things with the jacket under a bush. Then I stripped off my underwear, and rolled them inside my shirt and tied them with the cord that I still wore around my ankle. I had never taken it off. Not even after all this time in Seattle. It was still a part of who I was. I noticed that Jake still wore his, too.

I stood up and took a deep breath. I wondered if it would still be so easy. I took off at a run and felt my bones rearranging and my skin stretching and then the crackle of energy as I phased into my wolf body. _God, that feels awesome!_ I ran as fast as I could, flying through the woods, the wind flattening my fur against me. The only thing missing were the voices in my head. That was strange. Jake would be the only one I could hear now.

For the time being, I was happy and content not to have anyone in my head. That was a very refreshing change! I ran toward the water and stopped on the cliff where Sam used to take the guys cliff-diving. I looked out over the water and realized how much I had missed this. Jake and I had gone down to the waterfront in Seattle, but it was a port, so it was always busy with ships and fishing boats going in and out. It was fun to watch, but not peaceful at all. Not like this. I sat back and decided to rest and just watch the waves roll in and out for a few moments.

Suddenly I was aware of someone else coming. Not human, wolf. But I couldn't hear any thoughts. I turned and crouched and waited. I should have known. I took a risk in coming here. I watched his huge black wolf body stalk towards me and I contemplated running. But I was sick of running. Maybe it was time to finally face him. We stared at each other for what seemed like hours, but was really only seconds. Then his wolf form faded and was replaced by his scowling human form. He stood there looking at me, waiting to see if I would phase, too. He finally reached down and untied his shorts and slipped them on then looked at me. "Better?" he said with a smile.

For a fleeting second, I thought about ripping one of his arms off. But I turned and found some cover and phased and pulled on my underwear and my shirt which I was painfully aware was not long enough to cover my ass. I walked out and said, "Hello, Sam."

He stood there looking at me and I couldn't quite read his expression. Finally he walked closer and said, "Hello, Leah. Wow, you look good. Your hair is longer. I always liked it longer."

I eyed him warily. "Thanks."

"Why are you out here all alone on Thanksgiving? I thought you would be with your family."

I shrugged. "I was. I just needed to get out, get some air. I guess I wanted to remember what if felt like to be a wolf."

He nodded. "And?"

I smiled. "It felt pretty good, I have to admit. I forgot how much I liked racing through the woods."

"You always did like to brag about being the fastest," he said as he took a couple of steps closer. "I've really missed you, Le-Le."

_That did it._ _I can't believe he called me that!_ "Don't, Sam. Don't ever call me that. Those days are gone."

I turned and walked to the cliff edge and looked out at the water. I crossed my arms in front of me as I felt the fury building. I was very close to unleashing it.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to piss you off. It's just, this has all gone so fucking crazy. Jake breaking away, you and Seth following him to protect those bloodsuckers. At least when you were a part of the pack, I could still connect to your thoughts. Even though most of them were pretty graphic in how you wanted to cause my painful death, at least it was still a connection to you." His voice faded as he added, "Now . . . there's nothing. And I really fucking hate that."

I turned on him and said, "Oh, poor, poor Sam. I feel so sorry for you." I tried to walk by him, but he reached out and grabbed my arm. I jerked it away from him. "Don't touch me!" I shot at him.

His eyes grew dark as he yelled, "Damnit, Leah! Just listen to me, will you? You know I didn't hurt you on purpose. You've known me since I was 16! You know me better than anyone ever has. My God! How could you ever doubt how much I loved you? I never planned on imprinting on your cousin. Hell, I had no idea that could even happen! All these months of seeing you in pain. Hearing your thoughts and knowing how much I hurt you. It has been hell for me, too, Leah. I know you don't believe that . . . "

"Fuck you, Sam! Did you feel like someone used you and then just threw you away like a fucking piece of garbage? At least you went home to Emily every night while I went home alone." Then something in me snapped and I wanted to hurt him. "So, does she turn you on like I used to? Does she do the things in bed that I used to?" I hurled at him. I was really losing it. I could feel the rage pulsing. I was shaking badly and I was afraid I would phase at any time.

"Leah, calm down."

"No, I won't calm down! Your Alpha orders don't work on me now, Sam. All those times my thoughts would take me where you didn't want them to go, you would order me to stop, and I had to. Do you have any idea how humiliating that was? No, you don't. Now I can say or do anything I want and you can't stop me. I can tell you what a son of a bitch I think you are! I can tell you how much I miss fucking you! I can tell you that I hate you for ruining my life!" I screamed as the tears ran down my face. My hands were balled into fists and I beat them against his chest. "You fucking killed me, Sam. It killed me to watch you walk away and know that you were with _her_ and not _me_!" I choked back a sob and turned away from him. God, I had wanted to say those things so many times. It felt liberating to finally get them out.

"You couldn't hate me nearly as much as I hate myself," I heard him say behind me. He moved closer and I felt him put his hands on my shoulders then he ran his hands down my arms. "I still . . . find myself thinking of you, of us." His lips touched my neck and I felt that old burn start to spread through my body as the tears rolled down my face. I needed to stop him, but for some reason, I was frozen. I couldn't move. I was shaking as he kissed his way down my neck and then reached up to slide the collar of my shirt to the side so he could kiss my shoulder. His other hand had reached around to the front and he pulled and the shirt came unsnapped. "I remember when you bought this shirt with the snaps instead of buttons. You said it was easier to get out of." _Oh God, I did say that. And it was._ His hand found my breast and he grazed over the tips several times with his palm until my nipple stood up hard. He slid the shirt from my shoulders and it fell to the ground. His lips were burning as they left a trail along my shoulder. Then he put both hands on my hips and whispered, "I see you still wear those sexy bikini underwear." His hands slid up and down my hips as he pressed himself against my ass. I could feel how hard he was and I shamefully felt those underwear get wet.

He slowly turned me around and we gazed into each other's eyes for a just a moment. I could see that old familiar passion there in his eyes right before his lips came down on mine. Without thinking I responded by teasing his lips with my tongue. He opened his mouth and his tongue danced with mine and it was like traveling back in time to those days right after he phased for the first time, when our relationship had turned very physical, very hot. I couldn't make myself resist it. While we ravaged each other's lips, our hands traveled each other's bodies, touching and revisiting all of our favorite places. I ran my hands over his chest and then down to take him into my hand. He gasped and looked at me. "I have missed this so much, Leah."

The next thing I knew, we were on the ground and my underwear and his shorts had disappeared. His fingers worked their magic on me until I was screaming out for more. And then he was on top of me, moving slowly, so slowly until I begged him. I wrapped my legs around him and moved with him as he whispered in my ear, "Come on, baby, come on. . . " and I did. And then so did he.

We laid there on the ground, trying to catch our breath. He was kissing my neck and whispering, "Leah, you are so beautiful . . . I've missed this so much. . . " and for a second it was like one my dreams then I opened my eyes and it hit me . . . _Oh God. What have I done? What have I done? _I gave him a little shove and he rolled off of me and I just laid there on my back staring up at the sky. _I can't believe I let that happen. _We lay there, neither of us knowing what to say.

Finally Sam said, "Oh my God, Leah, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I can't believe I did that." He covered his face with his hands.

"I know. I shouldn't have let that happen either. It was so wrong." It was. It just felt so wrong to me because . . . he wasn't Jake. I know we weren't technically a couple. We weren't in a relationship. But, for some reason, I just felt like I cheated on him and it felt so horrible. I felt like such a slut.

I sat up and looked around for my underwear. Sam reached out and picked them up and handed them to me. I took them and walked over to pick up my shirt and held it to me. Sam had slipped his shorts back up and came to stand near me.

"Leah, I'm sorry." Then he added, "But I won't lie and say I didn't enjoy it. We always were really good together. It's not like _that _. . . with Emily."

"Really Sam? You're going to stand there and make me feel sorry for you because Emily isn't the slut that I am?"

"You are not a slut! Why the hell would you say something like that?"

"I don't know, maybe because I had sex with my new boyfriend this morning and sex with my old boyfriend this afternoon. Makes me feel a little trampy. Sorry."

"So, you and Jake. You're sleeping together?" I could see pain in his eyes as he asked that question.

"Yea, we are. But, that's all," I told him quietly.

He gave me a curious look and asked, "You mean, you two aren't . . . in love? You're just . . . "

"Having sex, yea. Mutual agreement. He's still hung up on _her_. And I'm . . . well, I was still hung up on you."

"Was? As in, you're not now?"

I looked at him. Really looked at him. All these months of crying and feeling like shit because of him. Of just wanting so badly for him to hold me and kiss me . . . and do what we just did. Thinking I could never, ever love someone other than him. And now, Jake kept creeping into my mind. I had a chance with him. He could be my future. Sam never could be. "No, Sam. I think I exorcised that demon today. I am moving on. I hope with Jake. But, if that doesn't work then I'll find someone to love. I'm done with this. I'm done with you."

"Wow, Leah. I guess that should make me happy, but . . ."

"Yes, it should. You have Emily. Go home and have a happy life together and forget about me."

He looked into my eyes and touched my face. "I wish I could. But I just cheated on her . . . with you. That will be hard to forget."

I removed his hand from my face and dropped it. "Well you have to forget it. Believe me, it will never happen again. This is goodbye, Sam. Forever_." I couldn't believe how strong I felt. How I really meant that! He would never hurt me again. _How I wish Jake could feel this way about Bella. He didn't deserve to carry that around with him for the rest of his life.

Sam just stared at me. "I'm proud of you, Leah. I hope things with Jake work out. Maybe someday, you can look back on what we had without pain and anger, and remember it for what it was. You were my first love, Leah. I'll always love you."

_God, why did he have to say that. I liked being angry. It made this easier to deal with. _"I hope so, too, Sam. But right now, the anger is helping me to move on. Maybe someday, I won't need it anymore."

"Take care of yourself. Good bye, Leah." As he looked at me, I could see that love he had for me show in his eyes. But for some reason, it didn't hurt like I thought it would. He leaned forward and put a quick kiss on my lips.

"Good bye, Sam," I said softly. He smiled and turned and walked away. After a few seconds, I heard that familiar crackle of energy as he phased and ran toward home.

I bent down to tie my clothes to my ankle. _Why did I let that happen?_ I know why. It felt great. Sex with Sam had always been so . . . satisfying. He knew how to make me feel so good. That, I had missed a lot. But I would never let it happen again. Sam was my past. I hoped that Jake was my future. Suddenly I was in a hurry to get home. I phased and took off at lightning speed.

I walked into the house through the back door and caught Mom and Charlie in a passionate embrace . . . kissing! "Oh! I'm sorry. Um, don't mind me," I said as I quickly ran through the kitchen and into the living room. Seth looked up from the TV as I walked in and said, "Caught them making out, huh?"

"What the hell? Could you have given me a little warning about them or something? How long has this been going on?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Not long. I mean, Charlie's been real nice to Mom since Dad died, but they didn't start hanging out until about a month ago. Weird, huh? To see Mom kissing someone else?"

"Uh, yea!" I plopped down in the chair. "So, are you OK with this?" Seth gave me a strange look. _Oh God. Werewolf senses. I should have thought of that. He smells Sam._

He shrugged again then answered, "I guess. I mean, Charlie is a really good guy, and Mom deserves to be happy. I know she misses Dad, but it's not fair for her to be sad all the time because he's gone."

"Who are you and what have you done with my little brother? When did you grow up and get so wise?"

"Maybe when you and Jake left me here alone."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Seth! How many times do we have to explain this to you! It had nothing to do with you! Jake was devastated by what happened. Do you have any idea how much pain he was in? How much he still suffers because of _her_? I didn't want him to go wolf and disappear again, so I took him to Seattle. I did it for _him_, Seth."

"Are you sure you did it just for him? Cause I think you did it for you, too."

"You're right. I did. It really helped me to get away from Sam." I sighed and leaned back. "I saw him just now. I phased and went for a run and just ran into him. We talked, well, I yelled, and I finally realized that I'm done with all of that. Sam is history. I am moving on with the rest of my life, little brother."

Seth grinned. "Good. Cause the old bitchy Leah was a pain in the ass. I think I like this one better. More like the sister I remember."

"Thanks very much!" I said as I picked up a pillow and threw it at him. Just then Mom came in, without Charlie. She sat down on the couch and said, "So, I guess I should tell you I'm seeing Charlie."

"Come on, Mom. I think you were doing more than just 'seeing' him. I'd say you were making out with him," I said. Seth snickered as Mom turned red.

"OK, Leah. Make jokes, go ahead."

"Seriously, why didn't you tell me, Mom? Seth says you've been hanging out for like a month. I talk to you at least two times a week. You could have mentioned that."

"I know, and I should have. It's just, you know I loved your father, and he hasn't been gone very long. And knowing how much you hate Bella, I wasn't sure how you would feel about me dating her father," she explained.

"Look, Mom, I have nothing against Charlie. He's a good guy who doesn't deserve the selfish bitch of a daughter that he has." Seth scowled at me and I said, "Look, Seth. You can be a freakin' leech-lover, but don't expect me to bow down and kiss her feet."

"OK, enough," Mom scolded.

I could see how important this was to her, so I said, "I like Charlie, Mom. If you want to spend time with him, that's fine with me. I want you to be happy. Just don't expect me to get all lovey-dovey with Bella if you two get married. I will not welcome her into this family with open arms." I saw her frown and added, "But I won't cause trouble either. I promise."

She reached over and took my hand. "Good to know. Thanks, honey."

"So, you're dating," I said slowly. "I hope you two are being safe?" I teased. Seth let out a moan and covered his ears. I laughed and said, "What? It's important to talk about these things. At least that's what Mom told me when I was 16 and going out with Sam."

She scowled and came back with, "And what about now, Leah? Now that you're living with Jake?"

"Please, Mom. We all know that I'm menopausal. I don't think we have to worry about that." _Shit. She caught me! Damn, she's good._ "Besides," I added quickly, "It's not like that with me and Jake. We are just friends who share an apartment."

"Mmmm, hmmm," she said in a very judgmental tone.

Seth hollered out, "Stop! I don't want to sit here and listen to you two talk about your sex lives! Gross! You're my mother and sister, for God's sake! You want to put me into therapy or what?"

I cracked up laughing as Mom smiled and said, "Alright, you've had your fun torturing your little brother. Come on, let's have a turkey sandwich."

"Leftovers? Already?" Seth whined with a smile. Mom got up and tousled Seth's hair then started for the kitchen.

"Um, I want to jump in the shower real quick. I phased and went for a run, and I just still feel . . . wolfy."

Seth laughed at that. "Wolfy . . . that's funny." He kept laughing as he followed Mom to the kitchen.

I really needed to get Sam's scent off of me. I know he picked it up when I walked in, but I hope that's all he sensed. Having sex with Sam is something I never wanted anyone to know about. Ever.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Jake POV:

Dad and I spent the rest of Thanksgiving afternoon carving. It was great just spending time with him. We would talk for awhile then just quietly carve for awhile. It was always easy being with Dad. I had found a small piece of gray wood and I carved a wolf figure out of it. I smiled when I realized how much it looked like Leah. I was amazed how much she was on my mind today. I finished sanding the little figure and decided I would give it to Leah to put into our apartment. We hadn't really decorated our apartment much. _I think she'll like it._

"Son, I know it's none of my business, but what's going on with you and Leah?" _And there goes the quiet afternoon_.

"Dad, I told you already, we're just friends." I put my knife down and said, "I don't want to have this conversation with you."

He looked at me and said, "So, it's like that, is it?"

I looked over and replied, "What the hell does that mean?"

He laid his tool down and looked at the piece of wood he had been carving into an eagle then he said, "There are things you need to know about being Alpha." I rolled my eyes. "I know you never wanted the job, and I understand why you stepped up when you did. And I haven't had the chance to sit and talk with you about it since." He set the wood down and looked at me. "Jacob, being the true Alpha and the leader of this tribe comes with many, many responsibilities. But it also comes with some perks."

I snorted. "Oh really? What, I get a limo with a driver? Millions of dollars in a Swiss bank account? I wouldn't mind those."

He gave me that Dad look that told me I should quit being a smart ass and pay attention. So I sat back and showed him I would listen. "I should have talked to you months ago, but you were so preoccupied with Bella that I let it go. I thought maybe you would succeed in actually getting her away from them, and I think you were very close." I closed my eyes and tried to push the pain away. "I, too, loved Bella, son. I've known here since she was a baby and was hoping she would change her mind. But it wasn't meant to be. The pull was too strong, and I am truly sorry for that. And for the pain she has given you to carry." He put his hand on mind and I opened my eyes to look at him. "But, I know that you will move on from this, stronger and wiser. And that's what leads me to this."

_I couldn't wait to hear this. Being Alpha never held any appeal to me. What magical thing would he tell me now?_

"Maybe you have noticed that you have not imprinted on anyone yet?" I rolled my eyes and nodded. "That's because the true Alpha will not imprint like the others. But that doesn't mean that a mate has not been chosen for you. It is chosen in a different manner. It is bloodlines that call to each other. And when they mate for the first time, it is a lasting bond." _When they mate? Is he talking about sex?_ "Jacob, your bloodline and Leah's bloodline are both very strong in this tribe. Great leaders have come from both. You need to know that if you and Leah . . . have sex, it could create that bond." _WHAT? And he's just now telling me this?_

I ran both hands over my face and through my hair and Dad said, "I see I'm a little late with this information." I laid my head back with my hands over my eyes and said, "Uh, yea." _Shit. Fuck. Damnit all to hell!_

I looked over at him and asked, "Are you telling me that Leah has no choice in this matter? That I sleep with her and now we have this bond?"

He shook his head. "You are the Alpha, son. That's the perk." _Oh God. How am I going to tell her this one? She will be so pissed. _"But, if we have formed this bond, how do we know? I mean, I care for her, she's my best friend, but I don't feel . . . in love with her."

"Maybe not now because of Bella. But if the bond is there, those feelings will come, Jacob. That's what I mean about it being different than imprinting. With imprinting, there's this instant feeling of love. With the bond, it's more about bloodlines and making stronger werewolves to protect the tribe, and about having a good mate by your side. Someone who is strong and will stand by you and be your helpmate. And it's the choice of the Alpha. You may choose for love, or, as in your case, for . . .?"

I looked at him and said, "Lust, comfort . . ." _Wasn't that what it was? _"We just wanted each other, so we had sex. And it was very good, so we decided to continue our relationship that way. How can you build a lasting bond on that?"

"You might be surprised, son," he said.

I sat forward and put my head in my hands. _Why would this happen? Why Leah?_ "But Leah can't have kids, Dad. How could we make stronger werewolves?"

"Just because her body is not working in the normal way now, does not mean it never will. Leah is our first female werewolf and we don't know exactly why. But I have to believe that with her bloodlines, it was for a purpose. And she is a strong woman, and a smart woman. I have to believe that if you have bonded with her, it was meant to be, son."

I suddenly felt like puking my guts out I stood up and said, "I need some air."

I bolted out the door through the living room, where I noticed Paul and Rachel making out. _God, don't they ever take a fucking break? _I went into the kitchen and grabbed what was left of a six-pack out of the fridge then shoved open the back door and ran outside, slamming the door as I went. I stopped in the yard and looked up at the sky. _Why is my life always such a fucking train wreck?_ Every time I felt I was going to be OK, something else was thrown at me. I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I pulled one of the beers from the pack and opened it and took a swig. _Two beers in one day. Man, holidays are the shit._

My body automatically gravitated toward the garage. Maybe I could find something to tinker with. I drank down half the can as I walked in and turned on the light and heard, "Bout time you came out here." I jumped as Leah came out of the shadows.

"Shit!" My heart about jumped out of my chest and I choked on the beer! "What are you doing out here?" I coughed out.

"I told you I would sneak out later and find you. So, here I am," she explained with a laugh. "I didn't mean to scare the shit out of you." She walked up and patted my back. "Are you OK? Still going with getting drunk, huh?" she asked.

I set it down on the tool bench and wondered if I should really tell her. _How is it that she would choose to be here at the very moment I find out that we're bonded for life? _I looked down into her eyes and found myself saying, "God, you are a sight for sore eyes." I bent forward and kissed her on the lips, long and slow. We stood there in the shadows of the garage and made out for awhile. Her lips felt so good and I found my hand under her shirt craving the touch of her skin. I tried hard to keep from getting carried away. Finally I stepped back a little and said, "You amaze me."

"I do? Why?"

"You always seem to know when I need you the most. How do you do that?"

"Maybe it's because I need you, too," she said softly as she ran her hand down my chest, which really turned me on. Everything she did turned me on. I felt that weird vibration as she ran her hand over me. _Is that what Dad was talking about?_ I kissed her again then decided I better back off before it was too late. I put her away from me and said, "I need to stop, Leah. I don't want someone to come out here looking for me and find us naked. Remember, we said we didn't want anyone to know about us and we were going to TRY to be good."

She laughed. "Yes, I remember. But being good is so overrated."

I laughed at that. "You are a naughty girl. I like that about you."

She put some distance between us and said, "Well, I really did come over here just to talk. It's been quite a day for me. Did you know that my mom is dating Charlie Swan?" She walked over and grabbed one of the beers on the bench and popped the top.

"What? Really? Awesome! Uh, I mean, are you OK with this?"

She took a swig of her beer and spouted, "God, this stuff is awful!" I chuckled as she went on, "Yea, I'm OK with it. I just wished that she or Seth would have given me a heads up before I walked in on them making out in the kitchen. Talk about awkward!"

"Uh, yea." I put my head down for a second or two. Charlie was all alone now, and so was Sue. They were both good people. They deserved a little happiness. "So, Charlie and your mom. Think it's serious?" I walked over and picked up the beer that I had left there and took another swig.

She shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't know. I guess it must be."

Before I could think much about Bella becoming Leah's step-sister, she said, "That's not all. I ran into Sam today."

_What? She said that so calmly_. "Are you OK? Tell me what happened." I reached out and put my hand on her arm.

"Um, yea, I think I really am. I took some time this afternoon to . . . phase and run. I guess I just wanted to see if I really missed it. And I found out that I really did miss it. God, Jake. It felt so good to run!" Her whole face lit up. It made me smile. "I ran for awhile and ended up on the cliff where you guys used to dive. I was just sitting there, looking out at the water, and watching the waves roll in and out. Then, Sam came up, as a wolf. I couldn't hear him by the way. Apparently you're still the Alpha, boss man," she said with a grin. I rolled my eyes and said, "Yea, I know."

She set her beer down and went on, "Since we didn't have the wolf telepathy thing working for us, we had to phase and talk like human beings. I almost ran from him instead, but I decided that I was done running. It was time to face him." She stopped for a moment and sat down on the stool I had sitting by the bench. "I'm glad I did, Jake. I finally got all of those things off of my chest that I always wanted to say to him. I yelled, I screamed . . . and then we talked. And he kissed me . . . kind of as a goodbye." She stopped and looked at me. _Whoa, he kissed her? Why did I suddenly want to kick the shit out of Sam? _"And it was so strange because when he kissed me, I thought I would be so thrilled to feel his lips on mine again, you know, but . . . they weren't yours."

_Shit. She must feel it already, this bond thing. _She must have seen my freaked out expression, so she stood up and said, "Don't freak out on me, Jake. I think it's because I've already moved on from Sam, and I didn't even realize it. That night you kissed me and we decided to start sleeping together, I took a big step toward being who I wanted to be, by not letting myself be defined by Sam or anyone else, you know? I'm not 'Poor Leah, Sam's ex-girlfriend' anymore. I am now Leah Clearwater, who lives in Seattle where I have a great job that I like, and an awesome apartment that I share with my hot and sexy best friend that I have decided to sleep with, and I am OK with that." _Oh, if you only knew._

I set my can down and smiled as I put my arms around her. "Hot AND Sexy. I like that. And I like this new and improved Leah Clearwater . . . a lot." I bent forward and kissed her on the lips. She wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned into me. I took my lips away to tell her softly, "Leah? I don't know where this is going to go. I'm not as ready as you are to . . . move on, you know?" _I wasn't. But I really needed to know how she was feeling._

She smiled and nodded. "I know, Jake. It's OK."

"I don't want to hurt you. I care a lot about you . . . but, as much as I wish she wasn't, she is still there." I closed my eyes and leaned forward to touch my forehead to Leah's. "I wish I could be as brave as you were today. I'm proud of you, Leah."

She closed her eyes and said, "Don't be proud of me. I . . ." she stopped. I pulled back to look at her and she smiled and said, "Look, I hope you find a way to . . . resolve things, too. You're a great guy, Jake, and I hate that you let her make you feel like nothing. Sam did that to me for way too long, and it feels so good to be free of that. I don't feel like a piece of garbage just thrown out anymore. I will never let someone make me feel that way ever again." She reached up and touched my cheek. "You need to realize that you are a great guy, Jake. Just because she didn't want you, doesn't mean that someone else might not want you. Do you get that?"

"Yea, I get that, Leah." I let her go and stepped over to stand and look out of the garage door into the night. "It's not like that for me," I said softly. "She was everything to me. She's all I ever wanted. I still . . . " I put my head down and felt that familiar pain pierce my gut. "I'm really afraid that I might still go to her if she wanted me. And you have no idea how much I hate myself for that." _And now, for what I may have done to you._

She walked softly over to stand behind me. I felt her arms wind around my waist as she rested her face on my back. I closed my eyes and tried hard to feel comforted. We stood there for a few moments then I turned and took her in my arms. "Thank you. For being here. For caring," I whispered to her.

"I got your back, boss man," she answered softly. I chuckled. She pulled back and said, "You know, I slept all alone for twenty years, and with you for a week. And I am dreading going to bed tonight because I'll be alone. Isn't that crazy?"

I laughed softly. "Yea, I know. I feel the same. You know, we could get in the car and drive back tonight? Huh? I'm just saying . . . "

She laughed and smacked my arm. "Come on, Jake. We can do this. It's only one night. We'll drive back tomorrow afternoon like we planned, and tomorrow night, we will be back in our own bed . . . "

"Mmmm, and doing the things that are running through my mind right now . . . " I said as I nuzzled her neck and put a small bite on her shoulder.

"Jake, you said you wanted to be good," she reminded me.

"Well, I don't now."

She laughed and pulled away from me. "Then I better go now while I still have clothes on."

"Fine. Be that way," I teased.

She looked over at the bench and said, "You want to tell me about why you were sneaking out here with all that beer? Is Paul really getting to you that much?"

I hung my head_. You need to tell her. She has a right to know._ But I couldn't. I liked things the way they were between us and I selfishly couldn't stand the thought of her freaking and leaving me. Although, if it was a bond, she probably couldn't leave me, but I didn't want to hold her as a prisoner either. She just stared at me and I finally said, "I'm just having a hard time being here."

She smiled and reached over and took another swig of her beer then said, "Ugh! Next time you want to get drunk, find something that tastes better than this stuff!" That made me laugh. She put the can back down and said, "Come on. Walk me out." I smiled and grabbed the beer that was left and turned off the light in the garage. I walked her out of the garage and to the edge of the woods. "See you tomorrow," I said.

She smiled. "Yep. Good night."

"Good night." We stood there staring intently into each other's eyes, wanting so badly to kiss each other, but knowing that we were in plain sight of the house. She finally turned and jogged into the woods toward home. I watched her until she disappeared into the dark then I turned and walked back to the house.

Rachel met me at the door with a smile. "So, what's going on there? With you two?"

_Shit. She saw us. I'm glad now I didn't give into the urge to kiss her_. "We're just friends. Good friends. Neither one of us is ready for a relationship. You should know that."

She smiled and gave me that '_I'm your big sister so I know better than you'_ look. "Yea, I know, but . . . I think you might be good for each other."

"Are you trying to be a matchmaker here, Rach?" I smiled at her.

"Oh, I think the match has already been made. You just have to quit being stubborn and realize what is right in front of you, little brother." She put her hand on my arm and added softly, "Let go of the ghost, Jake."

I shook my head and shot back, "Don't you think I would if I could? Don't you think I'm trying? You think I want to live every minute of the rest of my life with this fucking pain in my chest?" I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration then said evenly, "I appreciate your love and concern, Rach. I really do." I opened my eyes to say, "It's just not that easy. But I am trying. And Leah is . . . well, she does help."

"Good. I can't help that I worry about you, you know. I'm your big sister. It's what I do because I love you." She put her arms around me and pulled me close.

"I know, Rach. I'm glad you do. I love you, too."

She let me go and stepped back. "And what is with the beer? That's the second time today I've seen you with it."

I handed it to her and said, "Yea, I know. It doesn't help by the way. I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow."

"OK. Good night," she said softly.

I walked to my room and closed the door. I stripped my shirt off and threw it on the floor then slid my jeans off. I lay down on the bed in my boxers and stared at the ceiling. _What kind of a mess did I get myself into this time? Bella still had my heart. I couldn't help it. And now, there was Leah. How could I bind her to me for the rest of her life without being able to give her my heart? How is that fair? All because we have the right bloodlines? This was fucking crazy._

I threw my arm over my eyes and tried to sleep. I drifted off for awhile . . . until the dreams started. _Me and Bella walking on the beach. I'm teasing Bella like I used to and she's smiling . . . I'm losing myself in her chocolate brown eyes . . . I lean in to kiss her and she screams . . . blood starts pouring out of her mouth, and her nose . . . we look down and the blood is rising up to our knees . . . it rises quickly until we are drowning . . . "Save me Jake!" she screams just as her hand slips from mine . . ._

"Jake! Stop! Honey, it's just a dream. Wake up!" I feel Rachel shaking me and yelling at me to wake up. I finally opened my eyes and looked at her worried face. "Oh Jakey," she said as she pushes my hair out of my eyes. She hadn't called me Jakey since I was a kid. She sat down beside me and I laid my head on her lap. "I remember after Mom died you used to have nightmares. I would come in here and hold you and play with your hair until you calmed down." She was running her hand through my hair and it really did feel nice.

"I'm sorry, Rach," I said softly.

"It's OK, honey. Just rest. I'll stay for a little while with you. It will get better, you know."

"I hope so." I really did.

Leah POV:

I lay in bed and tried to sleep. I couldn't believe that after only one week of sleeping with Jake, I would be this used to it. I slept alone for 20 years. I could do this. I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

Suddenly my little tryst in the woods with Sam came into my head. _I still can't believe I allowed that to happen._ _And why didn't I tell Jake?_ When he said he was proud of me . . . I felt so bad. If he only knew what really happened. It was just like old times with Sam. It was hot, I can't deny that. It always had been with Sam. I remember all those lonely nights after Sam left me, and I would lay here just burning up wanting him so badly. I would usually phase and run to work it out of my system. But one time, I ran into Paul. I had phased back and had just untied my clothes when he walked out from behind the bushes and just stared at me. He walked slowly toward me and I felt like prey being stalked. Our eyes were locked on each other as he stepped in front of me. I remember him reaching out and touching my face and I didn't move. Then he moved in and crushed his lips on mine and I responded and clung to him. I was so close to giving in and taking what he was very willing to give me. But I couldn't. The break-up with Sam was still very fresh then. I finally broke away and shoved him from me. "I'm sorry, Paul. I can't. Sam would kill both of us."

He was breathing hard and I could see the anger in his eyes. For a moment, I thought he might take what he wanted anyway. He thought better of it and nodded then turned and walked away. After that, I just took cold showers.

But, I couldn't help but compare what happened with Sam to what I have with Jake. And how now . . . I wanted him so much more than Sam. _Wow_. _What was happening there? Was I falling for him? I can't. I can't do that to me or to him._ And yet, I felt this really strong pull again for Jake. Like my inner wolf was reminding me how Jake turns me on and makes me feel. _But, he's not ready_. I couldn't believe that he confessed to me tonight that he might still go to her if she wanted him. It made me so fucking angry! Not at him – at her. I hated her with such a vengeance for what she was still doing to him. I wished there was some way I could make him forget her. He doesn't deserve the constant pain and the nightmares.

I lay there amusing myself thinking of different ways to torture Bella. Although, now that she was a bloodsucker, it made things a little more difficult, but that much more challenging. I gave up my little game after awhile knowing that I would never really do any of them. I could never hurt Jake like that . . . or Charlie.

My mom and Charlie. Now that was weird. I wonder what Dad would think of that. Charlie was one of his best friends. But, he's not here now, and Mom is. It's not fair for her to spend the rest of her life wanting someone that is gone. If only Jake could see that.

I finally tired myself out enough to drift to sleep.

But I was wide awake at six the next morning. I tossed and turned and tried hard to go back to sleep, but it wouldn't work. So I gave up and wondered downstairs to make some coffee. After I got it going, I pulled a box of cereal out of the cupboard and poured a bowl. I added milk and took a bite, standing at the kitchen sink looking out into the woods. It was still dark. The sun wouldn't be up for another hour or so. I vaguely thought of going for a run, but . . . I wasn't sure who was out there that I might run into. That didn't work too well yesterday.

I ate my cereal then put the bowl in the sink. I took a cup out of the cupboard and filled it with coffee and turned to sit down at the table.

"I thought I smelled coffee. What are you doing up so early?" Mom said as she walked into the kitchen. She grabbed a cup and poured some coffee and sat down to join me.

"Couldn't sleep any longer," I told her as I sipped my coffee.

"Did it feel strange sleeping in your bed again?" she asked.

I smiled. "Yes and no. It felt strange at first, but then, it felt familiar. Like . . . home." I took another sip.

"Well, no matter where you go, honey, I hope you know this will always be your home. You can come back whenever you want to." She stretched her hand out and put it on mine.

I smiled at her. "I know that, Mom." She got up and put some bread in the toaster. "Want some?" she asked. I shook my head and she wrapped the bread back up and put it back into the cupboard.

"Mom, I saw Sam yesterday."

She turned quickly to look at me. "What? When?"

"When I went out for some air yesterday afternoon. I phased and took a run, and I ran into him. He said he was on a quick patrol. Mom, I can't believe it, but I finally feel like . . . I'm done with all of that. I am finally ready to move on with the rest of my life."

Her face lit up. I could see how happy that made her. _If only she knew how I came to this revelation_. She walked over and put her arms around me and said, "Oh Leah. I am so glad to hear that." She stood up and went on, "Watching you in such pain all this time and knowing there was nothing I could do to take it away has just killed me. But I could see yesterday when you walked in, you just looked . . . stronger. I'm glad you finally faced him and resolved this. Good for you."

"Thanks. I'm glad, too."

"You know, since we're up this early, maybe we should run to Port Angeles and do a little early Christmas shopping. It is Black Friday. Lots of sales . . ." she said enticingly.

"OK, OK, you talked me into it. Let's get dressed and get going!" I said with a laugh.

She took her toast out of the toaster and threw it into the trash. "We'll stop for coffee and donuts on the way. Let's go!" We ran out of the kitchen and upstairs to get ready to go. Mom left a note for Seth and we were out in the car in no time and on our way to Port Angeles to shop with all of the other crazy people up this early.

Later, we were sitting in a little restaurant along the water. We had shopped until we literally were ready to drop. I was starving so we decided to eat some lunch then head home. "I'm ready for a nap now!" I told her. She laughed and said she was, too.

"What time are you leaving today?" she asked.

"Um, I don't know. I guess I should call Jake and find out since he has the car, huh?" Suddenly I was in a hurry to go home. I missed him so much and wanted to be with him. Just him.

She smiled and said, "I wish you weren't leaving so soon. You just got here."

"I know. But I only got two days off. I have to work tomorrow. Since I am the newbie, I was lucky to get that." I had my phone in my hand, and dialed Jake.

"Hello?" Just the sound of his voice made me happy.

"Hey Jake. What cha doing?"

"Hey Leah. Just hanging with Dad. Rachel's making lunch and we're just waiting for it to be ready. What are you up to?"

"Well, I couldn't sleep this morning, so I got up around six, and Mom heard me. She talked me into going shopping at all of the crazy sales this morning in Port Angeles. We're having lunch right now. It was a madhouse! I'm ready for a nap."

He laughed that deep toned laugh I loved so much. "Well, you can sleep on the way home. I couldn't sleep in either, so I got up and phased and took a run. You were right. It felt pretty good. I got Embry and Quil to run with me. It was just like old times, except . . . I couldn't hear them, you know? I hated that. They told me they want to be a part of my pack. I hate this. There shouldn't be two packs. This is going to have to be resolved at some point."

He was right. I knew it was hard on him. "Do you still want that? To have a pack?"

"I don't know that I have a choice in that matter anymore." I could hear the tension in his voice. Coming back here had obviously not been as good for him as it had been for me.

"I'm sorry, Jake."

"Yea, whatever. I'm just really ready to go home."

_Home. I like the sound of that. _"Yea? I'm glad. What time did you want to take off today?" I asked. I was twirling a piece of hair around my finger while I talked to him. I suddenly realized I was doing it and stopped. _Why did I always feel like a 7__th__ grader around him?_

"Whenever you can be ready. Maybe around three?"

I reached over and turned Mom's arm so I could see her watch. _It's only 12:30 now, so that would give me enough time to get home and pack my stuff_. "OK, sounds good. See you then."

"OK." We were both quiet, wanting to say more, but knowing we were being heard. "See you then. Bye," he said then he hung up. I closed the phone and put it back into my purse. I had bought a purse and a new wallet today. I was sick of carrying stuff around in my pockets like a guy. I guess I kind of wanted to feel a little "girly."

"He's picking me up around three," I told Mom.

She nodded and looked out the window at the water. The waitress brought our lunch and we started eating. "Leah? Charlie has been hinting that he might want to make our relationship more permanent. I know you just found out about it last night, so that hasn't given you much time to get used to it. But, would you really be that upset, if someday . . . I married him?"

I had a french fry in my hand on the way to my mouth, and I stopped and put it down. _I wasn't ready for this. How on earth could I be a step-sister to the girl I hated most in the world. Would they come back for the wedding? Could I face her without killing her?_

Mom interrupted my selfish thoughts with, "Leah? What are you thinking?"

_Like I could really tell her_. "Mom, I want you to be happy, I really do. It just seems so . . . soon." _Stop it, Leah. Don't be a selfish bitch like . . . her. _"I'm sorry, Mom. It really shouldn't matter what I think. It's what you and Charlie think. What you feel for each other. If you really love him then marry him and be happy. That's all I really want for you."

She gave me a glorious smile. "Thanks, honey. He does make me happy, he really does. And Seth seems to really like having him around. Charlie's really good to him." She reached out and put her hand on my arm. "Leah, no one can ever replace your father, I want you to know that. I miss him every day. But, well, Charlie makes life worth living again. And I want to do that. I want to go on living."

I smiled. "Then do it, Mom. Now that I have faced Sam, I guess I can kind of understand that. I mean, I just wanted to die after Sam left me, and it was so hard every day to get up and go on living. But, now I understand that what I had with Sam was great. I mean, he was my first love, and I guess he'll always be special to me because of that. But now, I feel strong enough to go on and maybe find a new love." _Did I just say that?_ "Um, I can't believe I just said that," I told Mom.

She laughed and said, "I can't either. But it makes me happy to hear it. Now, I hope you really mean it."

"I do," I said as I picked up that fry and stuck it in my mouth. _I really do. I want to fall in love again and feel that magic with another guy. I even might want to get married and have bab . . . well, get married, anyway. I'm pretty sure the baby thing won't be a part of the picture, but maybe I could learn to live with that, too._

"Maybe you have found that . . . with Jake?" Mom asked slyly.

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, I told you. Jake and I are just friends. Really good friends. He's not ready for anything else."

"I know he's not, but now that you are . . ."

"Mom, please. I don't want to talk about Jake."

I guess she could see that I was shutting down on her, so she said, "I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean to pry. I'm glad you have each other as friends. I think it's been good for both of you. But I also hope that someday Jake realizes what he really has in you, Leah. He's a lucky guy. Let's leave it at that, OK?"

I gave her a small smile and nodded. "Let's finish this so we can have cheesecake," I told her.

"Oh how I wish I had your werewolf metabolism. It's just not fair to eat like that and look the way you do." She shook her head as she took a drink of her Diet Pepsi.

I laughed. "Yea, I know. I tell that to Jake all the time. He had the audacity last week to tell me he thinks he's getting flabby! Mom, you should see his abs. He has this awesome rock hard 6-pack. Believe me, there is no flab there at all."

She just looked at me over glass. I knew what she was thinking. _Yea, I was obsessed with his abs. So sue me!_ She set her glass down and focused on her salad. I ate the rest of my burger trying hard NOT to think of Jake's abs.

Jake POV:

I had a duffle bag sitting on my bed and I was packing all of the rest of my clothes in it, which wasn't as much as I thought. I had money in the bank now. I guess it was time to spend a little of it on some clothes. I had already bought some boots to wear to work, and a couple of pairs of jeans, and some running gear, but I should buy some other things, too. It was weird having money. I had never had any before. In fact, I had put $300 in an envelope and left it in Dad's carving room. I knew he wouldn't take it from me if I tried to hand it to him, but I was hoping he would accept it in secret. He needed it, and I had it to give.

Rachel walked up to the door and looked in. "Getting ready to go, huh?"

"Yep," I said as I stuffed the last t-shirt from my drawer into the bag. "I took everything I needed and packed it, and threw a bunch of other stuff out. Some stuff I put in a box and stuffed it in the closet. But, I didn't have much, so it didn't take long."

She walked in and sat down on the bed and looked around. I had taken down the few pictures I had up, and it looked pretty empty. "Wow. You're really not coming back, are you?"

I looked over at her. "No, I'm not. I don't know if I'll stay in Seattle. I'll come back to LaPush someday, but I won't live here. I'll find my own place."

She smiled at me. "Look at you. All grown up and on your own at 18. I'm proud of you."

I smiled back. That actually felt really good to hear. "Thanks," I said softly. I turned and grabbed the wolf that I had carved and went to put it on top of my stuff in the bag.

"Wait!" Rachel said as she reached out and grabbed the hand with the wolf in it. "What's this? I don't remember seeing this in here before."

"That's because I just made it yesterday with Dad," I told her.

"Wow, this is cool, Jake. It's amazing how it looks just like . . ."

I grabbed it from her and stuffed it into the bag. She just smiled at me. "Don't start, Rach," I warned her.

She stood up and patted me on the back. "I know, I know. Hey, give me a hug goodbye, OK?"

"Sure, sure." I pulled her into my arms she held on tight. Finally she stepped back and smiled at me. "I'm so glad you came home. I really have missed you. But, going away has been good for you. Coming back here . . . was hard, wasn't it?"

I just nodded. "But, I'm glad I did. I really missed you and Dad. I promise it won't be so long next time."

"You'll come back for Christmas?" she asked anxiously.

"Yea, I think that's the plan."

"Good." She reached up touched my cheek and said, "I love you, little brother. I just want you to be happy."

"Thanks, sis. I love you, too."

I picked up my bag and hauled it out to the car. I looked over at the garage and decided maybe I might want to take some of my tools with me. I walked over and stepped inside and noticed the light was on. There was Dad, sitting in his wheelchair, looking around.

"Hey, what are you doing in here?" I asked as I walked toward him.

He smiled and answered, "Reliving the past. It's a dangerous pastime."

"Don't I know it. I fight it every day," I told him.

"Jacob, I want you to know that I am proud of the man you have become. You are strong and wise, and you have a good heart. I know you believe it is broken and can never be mended, but I don't believe that. I know you will find love again. Maybe you already have."

I didn't want to talk about that again. It still scared the shit out of me.

He reached out and took my hand. "Son, I am proud of you, but I am also disappointed in you. I don't like you living away from here. Away from your land and your people. You accepted your rightful place as the Alpha of the pack, and you should be here, protecting this land. It is your birthright, and your destiny."

I pulled my hand away from him and walked to the garage door and looked out to the woods. "But I never wanted to be the Alpha! The only reason I did it was . . . for _her_. There never should have been a split in the pack. Sam is a good leader. He does his job well, Dad, and right now, I don't want the job." I turned to face him. "I can't be here right now, Dad. Don't you get that? Maybe someday, but . . . not while she's still here, everywhere I look. I keep coming into this damn garage expecting to see her here with those fucking motorcycles. I still want her so much, Dad. I . . . " Tears were coming fast now. I couldn't hold them in. I smashed my fist against the wall. _Damnit! Why was she still doing this to me!_ He rolled up behind me and reached out to touch my back.

"I'm sorry, son. I know she hurt you, and I know you still need time to get over her. But please just give me some hope that you might come back here . . . someday."

I wiped my eyes and turned to squat down in front of his wheelchair. I took a deep breath and said, "I promise you, Dad. Someday, I will come back here and face my destiny. I know who I am. I know that I am Ephraim Black's heir. I know that I am the true Alpha, and I know how important that is to you. But please give me some time. I just need . . . time."

He smiled and squeezed my hand. "Take it, Jacob. I want you to know that I love you, son."

I felt new tears sting my eyes as I said, "Yea, I love you, too, Dad." I reached up and hugged him. He held on to me and then pushed me away.

"Go, Jake. Go take your time. But remember you always have a home to come back to."

I stood up and nodded. "I know that." I looked around again and decided to leave the tools here. I might want them here someday. I turned my gaze back down to Dad and said, "I gotta go. I told Leah I would pick her up at three."

He nodded and said, "Help me back to the house?"

"Sure, sure." I walked back behind the chair and pushed him forward. I stopped at the door and flipped off the light. _Good bye, ghosts,_ I thought. _Leave and don't come back._

I pulled up to Leah's house and shut off the engine. I looked over and smiled. I had put the wolf I carved on Leah's seat to surprise her. I got out of the car and walked up to the door and knocked. I couldn't believe the excitement that went through me all of a sudden at the thought of being with Leah again. Just her and me, and no one else. Seth answered and said, "Hey Jake! Come on in."

"Thanks," I said as I walked in and closed the door behind me.

"Leah's still upstairs in her room," he informed me. He walked to the stairs and yelled, "Leah! Jake's here!"

I smiled and he smiled back. We just stood there awkwardly for a moment then he said, "So, I talked to my counselor this week about what classes I have to take if I want to be a doctor."

"Really? That's great! The pack really needs a doctor. I think you'd be a great one."

"Yea. I talked to Carlisle about it, and he encouraged me to do it, too. I really like him a lot. He's really smart and he cares about what he does. I hope I can be like that."

I tried to control the shot of pain that seared through me at the mention of Carlisle's name. It brought up that horrible scene of Bella on the table, and Edward stabbing that syringe into her heart. All the blood . . .

"Jake? Are you OK?" Seth asked.

I shook my head and answered, "Yea, bro. Sorry about that."

"No, I'm sorry. I keep forgetting not to talk about them around you. I shouldn't do that."

"I gotta get used to it, Seth. I can't keep hiding forever."

Just then Leah came down the stairs dragging her duffle bag and another huge suitcase with her. "What the hell, Leah? Did you pack the whole house?"

"No, just some stuff I want to take with me," she answered.

"You know our apartment isn't that big. Where are we going to put it all?"

"I don't know. I'll find somewhere." She dropped the bag and let the suitcase clunk down the last couple of steps. I rolled my eyes and leaned over to pick up the suitcase. "I'll take this to the car and try to squeeze it in."

"It's not that big!" she yelled after me. I just laughed. I opened the hatch and shoved it inside. It just barely fit. I managed to close the hatch and went back inside. Her mom was hugging her and telling her to call as soon as she got back.

"I will, I promise," Leah said. Then Leah hugged Seth and told him, "Be good, little brother. Maybe when you get your license you can come to Seattle for a weekend. You can crash with Jake in his room."

His face lit up with excitement. "Could I? I would really like that." He looked at Sue who said, "Don't get too excited. I'll think about it though." She smiled at him as she put her arm around him.

"OK, let's go," Leah said to me. Sue stepped over and pulled me to her for a hug. "Take care of my baby girl, OK?" she whispered to me.

"I'll try, but I can't tell her anything. She's pretty bossy, you know," I said back.

She let me go with a laugh. "I know! I'm afraid she gets that from me."

Leah looked at us warily and asked, "What are two saying about me?"

Her mom gave her a push toward the door and said, "Nothing at all. You should get on the road before it gets too dark."

"Yea, whatever," Leah said.

We finally made it to the car after all of the goodbyes, and Leah opened her door and I heard her say, "Awww, this is so cute. Where did it come from?" She picked it up and looked it over.

I smiled and said, "I made it for you. For our apartment. I thought you might like a little of LaPush with us in Seattle."

She looked at me with wide eyes. "You made this? You carved this for me?"

"Yea. Dad asked me to carve with him yesterday, so I . . . "

She had run around the car and now she was hugging me. "Thanks, Jake. This is awesome. I love it." She pulled back, looked up to the house and remembered that someone might be watching, and then walked back around the car and climbed inside. I got in and started the engine and pulled away.

I glanced over and saw her running her hand over the wolf, studying it. She looked over at me and smiled. "I really do love it. Thank you so much."

"You are very welcome. I'm glad you like it." She held it on her lap all the way home.

"Are you ready to go back?" I asked.

She turned and smiled. "Yes, I really am. I'm glad we came home. It was good for me. But I can't wait to get back." She reached over and took my hand and I smiled. "Me either," I told her. I put my foot down on the accelerator and tried to get us there a little faster.

"Come on, Jake!" she called down the stairs.

"This bag weighs a ton, Leah! What the hell do you have in here? Are you sure Seth isn't hiding in here?" I asked as I lugged her suitcase up the stairs. Leah had already opened the door and gone inside. I dragged the bag inside and shut the door and locked it. Leah had turned on the lights and set our little wolf on the counter then she took our bags into the bedroom. She walked back in the living room and gave me a big grin. "We're home!" she shouted. Then she ran at me and jumped.

I held my arms out and caught her as she wrapped her legs around my waist to straddle me. Her lips came down on mine in a hot, sexy kiss. She pulled back and said, "Take me to bed, Jake."

I gave her a big grin and said, "It would be my pleasure."


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Leah POV:

Jake and I quickly fell back into our normal life routine. We both went to work, we cooked, hung out in front of the TV and had incredible sex. He was getting very good at knowing just what I liked, and I was having fun finding all kinds of ways to make him just as happy. I enjoyed the life we had here, and I think Jake did, too. He was so much more relaxed here than he had been at home. And he hadn't had one nightmare since we'd been back.

Sam and Emily got married a couple weeks before Christmas. Mom called and asked if I felt strong enough to go now that Sam and I had talked. I politely declined telling her even though I was feeling better about things, I didn't think it would be a good idea. But not because of why she thought. I actually surprised myself by being OK with them getting married. But I wasn't sure how Sam would feel about seeing me. I was afraid that he couldn't forget what happened between us the last time we saw each other and I didn't really want to see that on his face on his wedding day.

On the day of the wedding, Jake took me out shopping for a few things for our apartment to take my mind off of it. Even though I told him I was fine, I could see he was still worried about me. So, we went to a couple of nice used furniture stores and Jake found a recliner he liked and I found a coffee table and a cool standing lamp with a fringed shade. The guy at the store agreed to deliver the furniture later that day for a mere $25 delivery fee, so Jake paid the guy and we went to lunch.

We were home in time for the guy to deliver the furniture and Jake helped him get it up the stairs and into the apartment. After we had everything in place, I set the wolf that Jake had carved for me on the coffee table in it's new "place of honor."

"Now it looks more like a home, don't you think?" Jake asked me as he stretched out in the new recliner. "Oh yea. That's what I'm talking about."

I laughed at him. Now he truly was King of the Castle. "Yea, it does look like a home. And you look like a King happy on your new throne. I'm surprised you're not sitting there naked."

His eyes lit up. "Great idea!" He whipped off his clothes and put his butt back in the chair and stretched out. "Oh, yea. This is good." I laughed at him and shook my head. _Men. What is it about being naked that makes them so happy?_

"You know what would make this perfect?" he asked.

I was messing with the new lamp beside chair, trying to get the lamp shade just right. "Mmmm? What?" He grabbed me and pulled me down onto his lap. I screeched, "Jake!" as he laughed. Then his lips were on mine and I had to admit, it felt pretty perfect.

It was a week before Christmas and I was pouting because we still didn't have a tree. "Come on, Jake, we need a tree. There's a little lot a couple of blocks from the restaurant that still has trees. Let's go and get one," I begged.

He shot me a look that told me he was fed up with my whining. "Fine, we'll get a tree." I jumped up and down and clapped like a toddler. "I just don't know where we'll put it."

"We can get a small one and put it in the window. Then when we come home from work, we can look up and see it," I told him.

He put his arms around me grinned. "Why do I have such a hard time saying no to you?" I just smiled and kissed him very thoroughly. "Oh yea, that's why," he said. I laughed and pulled at his arm and said, "Come on! Let's go!"

We picked out a little tree and brought it home. I surprised Jake by pulling out a large bag with a tree stand and decorations in it. He just shook his head at me and said, "Hmmm, looks like someone was planning on getting a tree all along." I gave him my cutest smile and put the tree stand on the window seat in the bay window. He laughed and we set the tree up and decorated it. When it was done, I turned the tree lights on then made him run downstairs with me so we could look at it from the street. I loved it! It really made our window look like home. I looked over at Jake and said, "Thanks, Jake." He put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me close. "Sure, sure."

Jake and I took a little time to exchange gifts with each other before we left for LaPush. I splurged and got Jake an iPod. He had taken to running since we moved here to stay in shape since he wasn't phasing. So, I thought maybe he might want some tunes to run to. He had bought a used laptop from some guy he fixed a car for a few weeks ago, so I included an iTunes card so he could buy some music. When he unwrapped it, he looked at me and said, "No way. Leah! It's too much."

"No it's not, Jake. I promise."

He had it open in no time and was looking it over and then he looked up and said, "This is fucking awesome." I smiled. _Oh yea, score!_ That was really high praise from Jake! He reached over and pulled me to him for a kiss. "I love it, thank you."

"You're very welcome," I said happily. God, I loved seeing Jake so happy. He still had those quiet moments, and his far-away looks, but not as many.

Jake surprised me by giving me three gifts. He handed me the first one and I unwrapped the box and pulled out an Emeril cookbook. "Wow, Jake! Thanks. But I sort of see you having an ulterior motive here. I mean, someone has to eat the food that I cook from these recipes, right?" He laughed and said, "OK, you caught me. But you do like it, don't you?"

"Of course I do! I love to cook, you know that." Before I could even turn more than two pages, he handed me another box. "What? Another one?" He smiled as I tore the paper off and opened the box. "Really, Jake?" I pulled out this sexy, black bra and panty set. He grinned at me. "Is this for me, or you?" I asked.

He grinned as he said, "Well, I don't think it would fit me, Leah. But I think it would fit you just fine."

"I'm sure it will." Then I looked at him and said, "I would have loved to watch you buy this. I'm sure your face was all shades of red." He laughed and said, "You have no idea how awkward that was!" We both had a good laugh over that.

"OK, last one. I promise." He put a small box on my lap.

"Jake, you really are spoiling me." And secretly, I was loving it. I unwrapped it and gasped. "Oh, wow. This is . . . awesome." It was a long silver chain with a small round disc charm that had a wolf etched into it. It was a profile of a wolf, with a small diamond for its eye. "Jake, this is really beautiful."

He looked into my eyes and said, "Leah, I never want you to forget who you really are and where you come from. Even though we live here in Seattle now, we should never forget that we are Quileute." I felt tears slide down my cheeks as I handed him the chain and had him put it on me right away. I still hadn't taken it off. I looked at him and said quietly, "Thank you. This means a lot to me. I am proud to be Quileute." He smiled and said, "Me, too."

We went home for Christmas and stayed for three days. Jake spent Christmas Eve with his family, and I spent it with mine. Then on Christmas Day, Mom invited Jake's family and Charlie to our house. Jake had known him all his life, and really liked him, so it was good to see them together. Charlie pulled him in for a big hug and held onto him and told him how good it was to see him. I know how disappointed Charlie was that Bella didn't choose to be with Jake. He had always loved him like a son. Yet another disappointment doled out by Miss Selfish Bitch.

Mom made a huge dinner, with my help, and we all sat down in the dining room together. We only used this room on holidays and special occasions. Charlie told us that he had been talking on the phone with Bella the last few weeks and that she sounded better and she hoped to be able to see him soon. I grabbed Jake's hand under the table and held onto it tightly. I could see from his expression that he wondered as I did, why they would do that to him. Raise his hopes like that? Why didn't they just tell her she died and get it over with? Personally, I always thought they should just tell him the truth. _"Hey, Dad, so, like, I'm a freaky vampire now, and I had to stay away so I wouldn't kill you and suck your blood. But I'm all better now!" _I guess they didn't think he'd take it well. Who would?

Finally, Billy started telling us some of their fishing stories, and Charlie jumped in and they talked about Dad a little, which was kind of nice actually. The three of them had spent a lot of time hunting and fishing together. I looked over at Mom and saw her smile. That was good. We all missed Dad, but I didn't want her to suffer like . . . well, Jake. He was trying to enjoy himself, but I could tell he was thinking about . . . _her_. Seth did his best to occupy Jake. I smiled at him. He could chatter on and on about anything! Right now he was telling Jake all about some idiotic video game that he and Quil were trying to beat.

Jake had surprised me by driving over that day on his motorcycle. After dinner, I coaxed him into taking me for a ride. I loved it! Flying down the road with my arms around Jake . . . what could be better? I think this was the first time he had taken the bike out since . . . well, since he rode with _her_. I was glad that I could get him to share this with me. I told him how much I loved it when we got back and he gave me a very long, and unsettling kiss. I licked my lips when he pulled away and gave him a smile. "Stop it, Leah, or so help me, I will take you right here where anyone could see us."

I sat back on the bike seat and said, "Ooo, here on the bike. I think I would like that." He growled and pulled me roughly to him and kissed me again. I could feel how much he liked that idea as he pressed into me. Finally he broke away. "God, Leah. I can't believe what you do to me."

"Or what you do to me," I told him breathlessly. I wanted to drag him upstairs and rip his clothes off, but seeing how that might not be the best idea with all of our family inside, I decided I better back off and get myself under control. We were already taking a chance that someone might come out and see us. We were getting a little too reckless. I reminded Jake of that and he let me go and muttered, "Maybe we should go home right now. I'm getting a little sick of this place." Then he walked toward the house leaving me to wonder what that was all about.

I slipped out alone later on Christmas night and walked a little bit into the woods. Charlie was talking about Bella again and how he hoped she would be home soon, and I could hear in his voice how much he missed her. It was royally pissing me off and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut. Luckily, Jake was in Seth's room with him, putting music on his iPod, so he couldn't hear Charlie or see how angry I was. I decided to go for a walk to calm down.

It was snowing those big, beautiful flakes, just floating down. It made the woods look like the inside of a snow globe. And it was so quiet. It was never this quiet at home in the city. I was enjoying my quiet time until, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him. He was such a fierce-looking wolf, big and black and strong. He came close and stood looking at me. The air was cold, and white plumes snaked from his nose and disappeared into the air. I didn't feel the cold. I was standing there in just jeans, a long-sleeve v-neck shirt and sneakers. "Hi, Sam," I said softly. I needed to walk away. I was remembering the last time we were alone in the woods. I still didn't trust myself to be here with him. Since Thanksgiving, all of the anger I had toward him had somehow disappeared. He was married now, and that was that. Right?

He phased right before my eyes and stood there proudly before me. He made no move to reach for his shorts. He kept his eyes on mine as he closed the gap between us. "Hello, Leah." He reached out and touched my cheek then he smiled as he said, "Happy Christmas." I closed my eyes and was instantly pulled back in time to another Christmas. _Sam and I were sitting on the floor by the Christmas tree at my house. Mom and Dad had taken Seth with them to a Christmas party at the rec center, so Sam and I were all alone. We had all of the house lights off, so the lights on the tree were all the lighting we had. Sam leaned in and whispered, "Merry Christmas, baby." I smiled and said, "I like Happy Christmas better. No one uses the word 'Merry' anymore. And right now, I'm really, really happy. So, Happy Christmas, Sam." _

_He smiled and kissed me, gently on the lips, which led to us making love right there beside the Christmas tree. After, Sam said he hoped that by the next Christmas, we would be married, and we would make it a tradition to make love by the tree each and every Christmas from now on. _

That memory cut me right through the heart. Even as strong as I was now where Sam was concerned, I felt tears roll down my cheek. Sam stepped up and brushed them away. "Leah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. That memory of us . . . it's been haunting me all day. I came out here, telling Emily I needed to run patrol, but I knew . . . I knew it would bring me here. I had no idea I would find you here, standing in the snow, looking so beautiful." He put his hand on my face and kissed me gently on the lips. And for a moment, I let myself lean against him and relieve the memory. Then Jake's face floated into my mind and it woke me up. I shoved at Sam's chest and broke away. "Sam, stop! Not again."

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "What the hell is wrong with me?" he shouted angrily. He turned his back to me, and I averted my eyes. "Why can't I stop this!"

"Sam, please. Put your pants on." He did so as I went on, "What we had ended so abruptly. And it wasn't either one of us that wanted to end it. It was ended for us. I guess we have unresolved feelings or something. I don't know."

He turned back to me and nodded. "I feel so out of control. I love Emily! With my whole heart! How can I still love you, Leah? And want to hold you and kiss you and . . . make love to you." I could see the confusion written all over him, and I knew exactly how he felt. I knew how close I had been to giving into him just a few moments ago. How close I still was. I was shaking just being this close to him. _What the hell was wrong with me?_

I stepped back and said, "Sam, I'm going home and I think you should do the same." He stared at me and I could see he was trying, but not hard enough. "Please, think about Emily." Finally he nodded then I heard a voice. Jake's. He was calling me. I shoved Sam away from me and whispered, "Sam! It's Jake! He's coming, right now. Get the hell out of here!" I could see his eyes turn hard and he backed up but didn't run. "Sam!" I hissed at him.

Just then, Jake broke through the brush and walked into the clearing. He stopped at my side and looked over at Sam. "What the hell is going on here, Leah?" he asked angrily.

I looked between them and even though they were in human form, I could see the Alpha wolves in them sizing each other up. "Nothing, Jake. I came out here to get away from Charlie going on and on about Bella, and Sam was on patrol and decided to wish me a _Merry_ Christmas." I glanced at Sam to make sure he heard me put the emphasis on the world _Merry_. I also noticed Jake flinch at Bella's name. I tried never to use it around him. "I'm ready to go back now. Come on," I said as I reached out for Jake's arm.

He squinted his eyes, crossed his arms across his massive chest and stared down Sam who stood his ground then finally said, "Goodnight, Leah."

I gave Sam a look to kill then turned to Jake and tried to drag him away. He waited until Sam turned and disappeared into the woods. Then he looked at me suspiciously and stalked off toward the house. I closed my eyes and hated myself. Then I ran after him. "Jake! Jake, stop."

He kept walking until I grabbed his arm and stopped him by standing in front of him. "What the hell was that all about, Jake?"

I could the anger in his eye as he spat out, "You tell me. I thought you told me that you were done with him. You said that when you talked to him on Thanksgiving that you were done. That you were moving on. Is this moving on, Leah? Meeting him in the woods? Alone? On Christmas?"

"Jake, I did not plan on meeting him here. I told you the truth. I left the house so I wouldn't go off in front of Charlie. I had no idea he would be out here."

"Don't bullshit me, Leah!"

"You think I'm lying? You think I wanted to be with him? Why would I want to do that, Jake?"

He leaned in close to me and sniffed. _Shit._ I knew he had already suspected, but now he smelled Sam for sure. His eyes were blazing as he yelled, "I don't know why, Leah! Especially since you're bonded to me!" He closed his eyes and said quickly, "Shit! Leah, I didn't mean. . . "

I cocked my head and looked at him. "Bonded? Did you say, bonded?" He turned his back to me and I stared at him. _What the hell was he talking about? _"Jake! Tell me now what the hell you are talking about."

He turned around and said slowly, "I know I should have told you before, but I just didn't know how." He put his head down and just stood there with his hands on his hips. I walked over and shoved him. "Jake! Talk to me damnit!"

He looked up and I saw he was scared to tell me whatever it was he had to tell me. "I, um, found out in a talk with my dad, that . . . " He stopped and hung his head. I heard him say, "Fuck," lightly, under his breath. Finally he took a deep breath and said, "My dad told me at Thanksgiving that being the true Alpha, I would not imprint like the others. Choosing my mate is all about bloodlines, and finding a strong mate to stand by me, and . . . apparently when I choose someone, and we have sex . . . it creates this bond." He stopped and looked into me eyes. "And when he told me this, we had already had sex. Dad says that both of us have very strong bloodlines, and that they . . . call to each other. Leah, when we are, you know, doing it, do you ever feel this kind of vibration run through your body?"

I looked at him and said, "Yea, it's kind of like a humming." I squinted and said, "But you didn't fall madly in love with me."

"Yea, I asked Dad about that. This is different that the imprinting that the others feel. It's all about the bloodlines first then the feelings."

"And you are just now telling me this?" I could feel the anger bubbling to the surface. "Seriously, Jake? You've known this for four fucking weeks and you are just now getting around to telling me that I am . . . _bonded_ to you? Just because we had sex?"

"Leah, try to stay calm so we can talk about this. I had no idea this could happen! If I would have known, I would have waited . . . I would have talked to you about it first."

"I had no choice in this, did I? I mean, once we had sex, that was it. A done deal." I couldn't stand this! "SHIT!" I turned away from him and I could feel my hands curl into fists.

"You had a choice that night in the woods, but you didn't stop me, Leah."

I whipped around and shot back, "Really, Jake? You're going to go there?"

He ran his hand through his hair. "God I hate this!" he shouted. Then, "Are you telling me that now you know about this bond, and you feel you didn't have a choice, you don't want to be with me?"

I shot him a look and said, "No . . . I don't know, Jake. It's just . . . I'm so damned sick and tired of feeling like we never have a choice in anything! Like our lives are all . . . pre-destined or something. All this stupid wolf magic . . . and bullshit. God, Jake, do we ever get to just be normal?"

He shrugged. "Probably not. I'm so sorry, Leah. I'm sorry that I didn't know." I looked away from him and he added, "But I'm not sorry that I chose you, or that we had sex. And if I had to choose someone to stand beside me and help me, you are definitely the person I would choose. You are smart and strong, and you care about me and . . . I didn't tell you right away because I just didn't want to cheat you. I want to be able to give you . . . what you deserve, you know? But, I'm still . . . "

I whipped around to say, "Yea, I know, Jake. Still hung up on a fucking ghost that will never come back to you. I get that. Look, I gotta go. I just need some time to figure this all out. I'll . . . see ya." And with that, I turned and ran into the night.

Jake POV:

_Fuck._ I closed my eyes and wished somehow that would have gone a lot better. I knew I should have told her that night, when Dad first told me. She had a right to know, and I should never have kept it from her. Now I was afraid she wouldn't be able to trust me. _Shit! _I ran my hand through my hair yet again then wondered . . . _but what the hell was she doing out here alone with Sam? _I could smell him on her. I knew they had least hugged, and I suspected maybe kissed. But I didn't smell arousal on Leah, so either I got there too quick, or he didn't turn her on anymore. I was really hoping for the latter. I know we weren't "officially" in a relationship, so I guess I had no right to be jealous. Maybe it was the bond, I don't know, but right now I wanted to hunt Sam down and kick the shit out of him. And I wasn't too happy with Leah right now either.

I wasn't sure what to do now. _Should I go after her? Should I go home?_ I decided I really needed to talk to Dad. I jogged back to Leah's house and walked in the back door. Seth was there in the kitchen grabbing a handful of Christmas cookies. "Hey," he said when I came in. "Want some?" he asked with his mouth full.

I shook my head. "No, thanks, bro. Is my dad still here?"

This time he shook his head. "Nope. Rachel and Paul took him home like twenty minutes ago. Where's Leah?"

"I don't know. We kind of had a fight and she ran off," I told him. "Look, I need to talk to my dad. I'll just go back out this door. Thanks, Seth."

"Sure, whatever," he said as he poured a glass of milk. I went out the door and shut it behind me. I jogged to my car and got in and headed for my house.

I parked the car and went inside. "Dad?" I called out. "Dad!" I walked into the living room and looked around. It was too early for bed. It was only 9:30. "Back here," I heard him call out. His carving room. I headed back and stuck my head into the room. "Hey, can we talk?" I asked him.

He looked up and said, "Sure, son. What's up?"

I walked in and sat down and picked up a small piece of wood. "Remember when I sat in here with you on Thanksgiving and we talked about me being Alpha? You told me about this 'bonding' thing?"

"Yes, I remember," he said as he went on carving his piece of wood. "What about it?"

"Well, I finally told Leah about it. Tonight. I kind of blurted it out in anger then I tried to explain it to her. She didn't take it very well."

He looked up and said, "Really? How did you expect her to take it?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know. Bad, I guess. I mean, she had no choice in this and that is something Leah really hates. She told me she hates that our lives are like 'pre-destined', and she hates all this 'wolf magic.' I can't really blame her. You feel like you don't have any control over your own life."

He finally set the piece of wood down and looked at me. "Jacob, you were born into this. You had no choice. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is. I always hoped you would be proud of that. But, Leah was born into this, too, and until you both accept this fact, neither of you will ever be happy."

I set the piece of wood I had been playing with down and ran my hand through my hair. "Is there anyway that the bond can be broken once it is made?"

"Why would you ask that? Are you unhappy with your choice?"

"No, not really. I can see Leah being the right choice, actually. I mean, she's strong and smart and she would be my first choice to stand by me and help me lead the pack. We were talking a couple of months ago how our families used to be close." Dad smiled and nodded. "Maybe that's why I always feel so at ease around her, so comfortable . . . I don't' know. And I care about her a lot, but . . . " I stopped and sighed. "Bella is still there, in my heart. And it's not fair to Leah. If we are going to be bonded for life, don't you think I should be able to give her my whole heart and not just a little piece of it?"

"Yes, you should. And I believe that someday you will," he answered.

"And then, I just caught Leah and Sam alone in the woods behind Leah's house. She said that she didn't go there to meet him, but he had guilt written all over his face and she had his scent on her. And why am I so damned pissed about that?" I said angrily as I pounded my fist on the table. The table bounced and some of Dad's tools fell on the floor. I sighed and mumbled, "Sorry," as I bent down and picked them up for him.

"Maybe because those feelings for Leah are starting to come to the surface as your feelings for Bella are starting to fade." I sat back and rubbed my temples. I wasn't prone to headaches, but I had a whopper right now. "So you think Leah will try to break the bond? Is that why you asked?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I know she's pissed right now, and I have no idea what I walked in on tonight with her and Sam."

"Well, son, no one has ever tried to break the bond as far as I know. Every Alpha has had his mate and it has been accepted. And whatever you walked in on tonight, I don't truly believe there is anything going on between Leah and Sam. Maybe some unresolved feelings, but Sam's imprint is strong. We know that."

I sighed again. _How can I fix this? I don't want things to change between Leah and me._ Dad picked up his knife and began carving again. "I guess I'll give her some time to calm down then I'll try and talk to her again."

"She will come around, son. I have a feeling that things will work out between the two of you." Then he looked at me and smiled. _What does he know that I don't?_

"OK, whatever, Dad," I said as I got up. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he replied. I walked out of the room and headed for the living room where I plopped down on the couch. _Geez, no Paul and Rachel? That's weird._ I shrugged and flipped on the TV. _It's a Wonderful Life? Again? _I wasn't up for a sappy Christmas movie. I flicked through the channels and finally gave up. I turned it off and threw down the remote_. I can't take this! I need to know where she is, what she's thinking. _I pulled out my phone and dialed Leah's number. It rang and rang then her voice mail picked up. She must be screening her calls. "Hey, Leah. I'm really sorry. Please call me." I hung up and thought, _Gee, that wasn't pathetic at all. _I stretched out as much as I could on the small couch and stared at the ceiling. _Merry fucking Christmas, Jake._

I picked Leah up the next day at noon, like we had arranged earlier. I was kind of worried that maybe she wouldn't want to go with me. She never returned my call last night. But, even though she was still pissed, she loaded her stuff into the car and we took off for Seattle. She was very quiet and she spent most of the drive just staring out the window. Finally, as we got closer to Seattle, I said, "Leah, can you please just tell me what you're thinking? You know you're killing me, right?"

She looked over at me and I could still see anger in her eyes. "You don't want to know what I am thinking, Jacob. Trust me."

_Jacob? She never called me Jacob. Great. Just great. _I sighed and said, "Maybe I do. Yell at me, cuss at me. Whatever! Just talk to me!"

She looked at me and said, "I feel like I have no control and I hate it. There. Enough said."

"OK, I get that. But there is something I have to know because I was up all night thinking about it. What's going on between you and Sam?"

She was very quiet for at least a full minute before she finally said evenly, "Jake, I was honest with you. I did not go there to meet him. I went for a walk, and he found me." Then she looked at me. "But he shared a memory with me about a Christmas we had spent together, and . . . it was one of those painful memories. He hugged me and before I realized it, he kissed me. I shoved him away and told him to go home to Emily. And then you showed up. That's it. End of story."

"OK then," I said. And we drove the rest of the way in silence. I wanted to believe her, I really did. I knew that their relationship was ended for them abruptly, and there were unresolved feelings. But I hoped that it was done now. I was feeling very possessive all of a sudden and I wasn't sure I liked it. But I knew kicking the shit out of Sam probably wasn't a good idea.

When we got back to the apartment, Leah busied herself with doing the laundry and putting her Christmas gifts away. Then she muttered something about needing groceries and she grabbed the keys off of the counter and left. _God, I just want our lives back! I wanted to come back here and forget all that shit. I wanted to take her to bed and show her how she makes me feel. _

I knew I couldn't just sit here all afternoon. I changed into some running clothes and took my new iPod and put it on the running playlist that Seth and I had made. I smiled when I looked at the iPod. Leah really knew me. She gets me. I really hoped we could find some way to get us back on track.

Leah POV:

All the way back I couldn't bring myself to talk to him. Well, except for when he asked about Sam. Like that wasn't awkward! Since yesterday, I felt like my whole world had been turned upside down. Like the last few months were for nothing. All this new found freedom just became yet another cruel joke in the life of Leah Clearwater. Even now, driving back here, I kept thinking, _Why? Why go back? It's not like we'll get to stay. Jake is the Alpha, and he has to go back and accept that responsibility. And I am bonded to him for the rest of my life, so where he goes, I have to go. _I felt like a five year old because all I wanted to do was scream, "IT'S NOT FAIR!"

I loved our life here! Just me and Jake. Going to work, cooking meals, doing laundry . . . just living life like normal people. And wouldn't you know, I was starting to feel . . . more than just best friend feelings for him. How's that for pathetic? And now that I knew I had no choice in it, I was devastated. I knew it didn't make sense, but when had my life ever made sense?

When we got back, I knew I couldn't stay there with him and not talk to him, so I told him we needed groceries. I took the keys to the Rabbit and took off. I drove to the store and now here I am, walking aimlessly up and down the aisles, not even paying attention to what I am throwing into the cart. _Why was this bond thing so devastating to me?_ I spent most of last night thinking about that. It wasn't Jake. I could actually see myself married to him and helping him with all of his tribe stuff. Which shocked the shit out of me! _Me married?_ After Sam, I had decided I wasn't going to hook myself to a man. But . . . now, with Jake . . . I had the feeling that I could love him if I let myself. And it scared me to death.

I finally decided I had better quit pulling things off of the shelf and I walked to the checkout and paid for my stuff. I hauled it to the car and got in. I started the car and drove back to our apartment where I hauled the groceries up to the apartment and found I had to unlock the door. I figured Jake must have gone for a run. I made two trips to bring all the groceries up and started putting them away. I was almost finished when Jake came home.

He nodded to me as he came in then he walked straight to the bathroom and closed the door. I just stood there for a minute and stared at that door. I could feel my anger starting to dissipate. I should talk to him and tell him how I feel. I closed my eyes and thought, _but I'm still not really sure exactly how I feel. _I'm just being a baby right now about having my freedom taken away. I knew I would have to accept it and move on. Eventually.

I put the laundry in the dryer and then sat down on the couch. I had bought a new paperback book at the store, so I opened it and tried to focus on the words on the page. Jake opened the bathroom door and I glanced up to see him walk naked to the bedroom. I smiled a little to myself. I couldn't help but enjoy that sight. It would never get old to me.

He walked out of the bedroom wearing just a pair of gym shorts, I knew because he knew what it did for me, and into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and whistled. "Geez, Leah, did you leave anything at the store for anyone else?" He took out a Gatorade and closed the door. _Don't smile, Leah. You're mad, remember? _"Wow, look at all this junk food! Twinkies? Seriously? You bought Twinkies? Fucking awesome!" He picked up the box of Twinkies and his bottle of Gatorade and walked in to sit on the couch beside me.

He unwrapped one and bit it in half. "Oh my God," he said with his mouth full. "I haven't had one of these in years. I forgot how good they are!" Then he took another one out of the box and held it out to me. I glanced up from my book and took it. It did look good. I put my book down as he flipped on the TV. I unwrapped the Twinkie and took a bite. _Oh man, he was right. These are great! _

He was already on his second one as I took another bite. He stopped on _Mythbusters_ on the Discovery Channel. It was one of our favorite shows. We had already seen this one, but we sat there, side-by-side, eating Twinkies, watching it again. He picked up his bottle of Gatorade and took a big swig then he held it out to me. I took it without even thinking and took a drink then I handed it back. We fell right back into our rhythm of being together.

I finally took the box of Twinkies from him as he whined, and told him he would spoil his dinner. He laughed and said, "OK, Mom," as I walked over to put them back in the kitchen. He asked, "What is for dinner, by the way?"

"Meatloaf. I need some comfort food." I pulled out the hamburger and proceeded to make the meatloaf. After I had it in the oven, I started peeling potatoes. Jake walked into the kitchen and asked, "Can I help?" I handed him the peeler and he began peeling the potatoes then I cut them into chunks and threw them into the pan of water. It was so easy to be with Jake. I felt more of the anger slip away. _Damnit. _Why was it so hard to stay mad at him?

We ate dinner and did the dishes, again working together. I knew he was trying so hard. He hated that I was pissed at him. I got to thinking and realized, I had never really been mad at him like this! We had always gotten along so easily. And I wasn't really as mad at him as I was at the situation. This bonding shit wasn't really his fault. He didn't know this would happen if we had sex. I knew him well enough to know that he would have warned me first if he had known.

After dinner, I got the laundry out of the dryer and sat down on the couch to fold it. Jake was stretched out in the recliner flicking channels again. I was trying to decide whether I should sleep on the couch tonight. I had planned to, earlier when I was still so pissed_. Just because 'our bloodlines' wanted us to have sex, didn't mean I had to give into it. But what if I wanted to have sex? Which I did, I knew I did. I glanced over at Jake and took in his muscular body, especially those rock hard abs that I was so fond of. Was it this stupid bond that made him so hot to me, or was it just Jake? I wish I knew._

"You done folding that shirt? You've folded it four times now," Jake said. It shook me out of my thoughts and I jumped. He laughed. "Whoa, didn't mean to scare you."

I shot him a look and put the shirt into the laundry basket. I picked up the basket and went into the bedroom to put the clothes away. I finished and turned to leave and there was Jake, filling the doorway. _Be strong, Leah_. He just stood there staring at me, but I knew that look. I knew exactly what he was thinking. I'm just surprised it took him so long. He walked to me like he was stalking his prey. I stood there frozen. He put his hand on the side of my face and leaned toward me. I found I was holding my breath in anticipation. His lips finally met mine and I embarrassed myself by letting out a little moan. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. Yea, I didn't need to feel that to know how much he wanted me. I could see it in his eyes all afternoon.

I finally found the strength to pull away and say, "Jake, stop." He hung his head as I stepped out of his embrace. I grabbed my pillow off of the bed and went out to throw it onto the couch. He turned and looked at me. I could see he was not happy. Not at all. In fact, he was pissed.

"Really, Leah? Are you seriously going to pretend that the last few weeks never happened? That you don't want me as much as I want you right now?" he shouted angrily.

I sat down on the edge of the couch and put my head into my hands. "I don't know what I want, Jake."

He walked over and pulled me up off the couch and into his arms. His lips came crushing down onto mine and his tongue entered my mouth in an assault on all of my senses. I could feel how badly he wanted me as he pressed into me, and I could taste him on my tongue. My head was swimming as he lifted me into his arms and carried me back to the bedroom. He made his point by closing the door and setting me on the bed then sitting beside me and laying me back. "This is where you belong, Leah. Not because we're 'bonded,' but because we WANT to be here, together. WE made that choice and we were happy with it until all this bonding shit came to light. I want you, Leah. And I know you want me, too." He was right. I did. I really did.

I reached up and took his face into my hands and pulled his lips down to mine. He broke away and asked softly, "Stay with me?" And so I stayed. And all was right with the world . . . again.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

Leah POV:

Mom called in January to tell us that Charlie surprised her by proposing to her on her birthday! They were getting married mid-February and taking a cruise for their honeymoon. Then she surprised me by asking me to be her maid of honor. I was speechless! What do you say when your mom tells you she's getting married? I knew she warned me that it might be coming, but now that it was truly happening, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I liked Charlie a lot, and I hated that he was all alone. I guess I would be happier if I knew for sure that _she_ wouldn't show up at the wedding. I couldn't stand the thought of putting Jake through that. It would kill me to see him put through that pain all over again. And having her as a step-sister? A wave of repulsion flows over me at that thought.

I told Mom I would be honored to stand up with her. She told me it would be a very small ceremony, just family and friends. But that she wanted to get me a nice dress, and so I made plans to go home and go shopping with her in a couple of weeks.

Later that afternoon, I called to talk to Seth. "So what do you think about Mom and Charlie? Are you OK with them getting married? I mean, you're going to have to live with them."

"I guess," he said. "I mean, what can I do about it?" He had a point. "Charlie's a good guy and Mom's pretty happy. I just wish I didn't have to watch them make out and I'm not looking forward to him moving in and . . . you know, him sleeping here."

I smiled at that. "Sorry, little brother. Mom's not a nun. I guess it's time you face that."

"Geez, Leah. Am I the only one not getting any around here?"

I laughed. "You're only 16. You have time. But listen, when you get your license, you can come up here once in awhile to get away from the newlyweds. How's that?"

"Fucking awesome. Plan on it."

"OK. You know you can call me if ever want to talk, or whatever."

"Thanks, sis. I know that. Jake told me that, too." Oh, yea, Jake. I forgot where I ranked.

"So, what's going on beside Mom and Charlie making you want to puke?" He told me some about school and he shared some pack gossip. I guess Embry was seeing a girl that was older than him, and he didn't know she had a big, burly boyfriend. Of course, Embry is a werewolf, so he could take of himself pretty well, but he is the puniest werewolf, besides Seth. So, apparently he came home a little battered and bruised, but bragging about how bad the other guy looked. Jake would enjoy that story.

"I gotta go, Seth. I need to get dinner started. Talk to you later, OK?"

"No problem. See ya." We hung up and I looked at the phone and smiled. He wasn't such a bad kid. And I really felt for him. It didn't matter to me really that Mom was marrying Charlie. I didn't live there anymore so it wouldn't change my life like it would Seth's. But, he was right. Charlie was a good guy. And he was really good to Seth. Maybe it would be good for him.

Then, as always, my thoughts turned to Jake. I knew that someday, he would have to face Bella the Bitch. Maybe if she did show her bloodsucker face at the wedding, he could finally do it and get it over with. I wanted him to be able to just move on from her! I wanted him to be able to love again. I wanted him to be able to love . . . me.

I knew I had feelings for Jake. I knew it when all the bonding shit came up. It had slowly crept up on me before that, but I was pretty sure now that I was in love with him. After our fight at Christmas, I tried hard to put those feelings of doubt and anger and confusion out of my mind and just enjoy living here with Jake again. We never spoke of the bonding thing again. We just tried to pretend that nothing had changed, even though it had.

I was so surprised that I could love someone again, and it was so different than what I had felt for Sam. I loved living with him and taking care of him, and sleeping with him! I got little butterflies in my stomach every night when he came home from work. I loved his laugh, his hot body, and how sweet he was to me. I didn't want him to know how I really felt because I had no idea how he would take it. I knew he was doing so much better, but I didn't think he was ready to fall in love yet. I knew with this bonding thing, we would be together no matter what. But I still wanted it to be the right way. I wanted us to be in love with each other.

That night, as we were lounging on the couch watching TV, I asked Jake how he felt about the whole 'my mom marrying Charlie' thing. "I think it's cool. They both deserve to be happy, you know? Charlie is a really good guy."

I shared with him my phone call with Seth. "Thanks for telling him you wouldn't mind if he called to talk. You're so good to him. You know you rank higher than me with him, right?" He chuckled at that. "It's a guy thing, Leah."

"Yea, whatever."

Then he got quiet. After awhile he said, "Leah, I know you can't be happy that Bella will be your step-sister. You have never hidden how you feel about her."

"Really? Aw, gee. I thought I was doing such a good job hiding my feelings," I said sarcastically. He chuckled. "Well, I told Mom I wouldn't welcome her into this family with open arms. But I also promised her I wouldn't cause trouble. But it won't be easy. I can't lie to you, Jake. I really hope she doesn't show up for the wedding. I can't stand the thought of putting you through that."

I was lying against him and he had his arm around me. He squeezed me closer and put a kiss on my head. "So, you're going to protect me from your evil step-sister?"

A smile spread across my face. This was the first time he had ever even attempted a joke where Bella was concerned. I sat up and looked at him. "Yes, I will. I'll kick her ass and you can watch if you want to."

He laughed at that. "I don't think your Mom would appreciate that. But thanks for the offer."

I leaned forward and kissed him. "I mean it, Jake. You've been through enough, and the nightmares have finally stopped. You seem happy now, even content, and I don't want to see you hurt like that . . ."

He stopped me with a kiss. A long and slow kiss. When he pulled his lips from mine he said softly, "Thank you, Leah. It's good to know how much you care." He stared into my eyes then he kissed me again and pulled me to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tangled my fingers into his hair. I loved the feel of his lips and how I felt like melting every time he kissed me. My body started to hum as I pulled at his t-shirt and he broke away long enough for me to get the shirt off over his head. My hands craved to touch his skin. I loved running my hands over his strong shoulders and chest. I climbed onto his lap to straddle him and he pulled my shirt off and then unhooked my bra. His hands and lips and tongue were working their magic on my breasts. He surprised me by standing up and carrying me into the bedroom.

He laid me down on the bed then stood back to take off his pants. I unzipped mine and he grabbed hold and slid them off. He climbed onto the bed to hover over me and stare into my eyes. Something felt so different all of a sudden. He was so gentle. Not that he was usually rough and uncaring, but . . . he was taking his time and kissing me and touching me like he was discovering me all over again. It was like he was . . . making love to me instead of just having sex. I closed my eyes and just took it all in. _Could he really have those feelings for me?_ _Did I dare to hope that maybe . . ._

It was one of the most beautiful experiences I had ever had. His lips traveled all over my body and when I would try to touch him, he would bat my hand away. He whispered to me, "You are so beautiful," as he ran his fingers through my hair and kissed my earlobe. His hands ran lightly up and down my body and I felt electrified. When he finally moved on top and entered me, I felt this very strong sensation that we had become one person. He moved so slowly at first and kissed me and took the time to build that feeling until I thought I would explode. He whispered, "Look at me, Leah. I want to see your face." I looked into his eyes and came so hard I felt it shake my body. Then Jake shuddered and rolled to the side, taking me with him so we were still connected. As we tried to catch our breath he looked into my eyes and I felt tears come to them. He reached out and touched my cheek so gently then he smiled. It took every ounce of strength I had to keep from saying "I love you." But I did. I knew I did. If only he did, too.

"That was amazing, Leah. I have never felt like that before," he whispered. He was looking at me like he was trying to understand how he was feeling.

I smiled. "Me either," I whispered back. Then I waited. _Would he say it? Did he feel it?_

He didn't say it. He pulled me close and held me to him and I let the tears fall. This would have to be enough for now.

Jake's birthday came up a couple of weeks later on a Wednesday. He told me the day before he didn't want me to make a big fuss over his birthday. It wasn't that big of a deal. Yea, right. Like I was going to listen to him. While he was at work that day, I made a nice two-layer chocolate birthday cake and for dinner, chili dogs and corn chips, of course! I bought him a couple of silly gifts and wrapped them. Before he came home, I showered and dried my hair then put on the black bra and panty set he bought me for Christmas. Yea, I knew that gift was really for him, so I decided I would wear it for him for his birthday. I slipped on a pair of jeans and a dark purple blouse over them. I made sure to leave a couple of extra buttons unbuttoned.

He came home and I hollered out "Happy Birthday!" He rolled his eyes and said, "Way to not make a fuss."

"Fine, I can throw this out if you want," I said as I took the pan of chili sauce off the stove.

"NO! No, I mean you went to so much trouble, I think the least I can do is eat it," he said with a smile. I put the pan back on the stove as Jake snaked his arms around my waist from behind me. "Thanks, Leah. This is very nice." He kissed me on the cheek.

"You're welcome. Now go clean up and we'll eat dinner." He left the kitchen and headed for the bathroom. When he came back, we sat down and ate supper. Then I brought out the cake and ice cream. I put 19 candles on the cake and lit them all, which made Jake laugh. I even sang _Happy Birthday_, probably a little off-key, and took a picture of him blowing out all of his candles. I would send a copy to Rachel. She felt bad about missing his birthday. She had sent him a card, and I gave it to him while we ate cake. His dad had signed it, too, and he looked a little sad when he read it. Then he smiled and took another bite of cake. I realized this was the first birthday he had ever spent away from his family.

I had used paper plates so clean up wouldn't take so long. After I finished with the kitchen, I let him open his presents. "I didn't spend much because I knew you would be mad at me for 'making a fuss.' So, don't expect much," I told him as I handed him the first one. He unwrapped it and laughed out loud. I went out and found a copy of the first Britney Spears CD, because Rachel told me that he and Embry were OBSESSED with her when they were like seven. He thought it was hilarious and sang out, "_Baby, Hit Me One More Time!_" "I can't wait to take this home and play it for Embry!" he said.

Then he opened the next gift which was a small bottle of cologne called _Timber Wolf. _He opened it and took a whiff then said with a grin, "That doesn't smell anything like a wolf. I think I would know."

"That's the joke, you dork!" I said. He sprayed some on and wiggled his eyes at me. "Sexy, huh?" I smelled him and coughed. "Yea, great," I said holding my breath. He just laughed some more.

"Wow, Leah. Great presents, thanks."

I smiled and said, "Well, that's not all of your presents." He looked around and then said, "I don't see anything else to unwrap."

I stood up and started unbuttoning my blouse. He watched very intently with that sexy Jake smile I loved so much. After the last button, I opened my shirt to show him the bra. His smile got even bigger when I slid the shirt off. "Are you wearing my Christmas gift, Leah?" he asked slowly.

I just nodded and stepped closer so he could undo my jeans. He unbuttoned them and slid the zipper down slowly then slid my jeans down over my hips to reveal the very small black panties. He leaned forward and put a kiss right above the panties. I stepped back out of the jeans and said, "So?"

He just nodded and said, "Oh yea. This is my favorite present."

"Better than Brittney Spears?" I asked.

He pulled me down onto his lap and took his finger and ran it lightly down my throat and into the cleavage of my bra. "Yes, much better." Then his lips came down on mine and we both decided later that was definitely his best present.

A few days before I was to go to home to shop with Mom for her wedding, I woke up and felt like shit. I rushed to the bathroom and got there just in time to throw up. Eddie, the cook at the restaurant, had the flu a few days earlier, and now I had it. _Great. Just what I need. _As I sat down next to the toilet, Jake came in. "Are you OK?"

I looked up at him and said, "I think I caught the flu bug. I feel like shit." He handed me a small cup of water. I sipped the water and rinsed my mouth then spit it into the toilet. Just then, I felt another wave coming. I heaved into the toilet and felt Jake pull my hair back and hold it for me. After I finished, he handed me another cup of water for me to rinse and spit, and then put a cool washcloth on my neck. "Rach used to do this for me when I got sick," he said softly.

I looked up at him and tried to smile. "I better call Carol and tell her I won't be in today."

"I'll call her. And I'll call Dan and stay home and take care of you."

"You don't have to do that. I just want to lay in bed and I'll probably sleep all day. I'll be OK here alone." I stood up and held onto the counter to balance myself. I still felt woozy, but I wanted to lay down. Jake scooped me up and carried me back to bed. He reached over and grabbed the small trash can that I kept in the bedroom and brought it to the edge of the bed in case I needed to throw up again. Then he sat down beside me and brushed my hair back away from my face.

"I just feel like I should be here. What if you need something?" he asked so tenderly it almost broke my heart.

"Bring me my phone and put it here beside me. I promise if I need you, I will call you, OK? I really just want to sleep."

He was running his hand down my head and he finally said, "Alright. But make sure you call me. Don't just say you will, then don't." He gave me a look that meant business.

I smiled. "Yes, sir, boss man. I promise I will call you." I had my eyes closed and was fighting the nausea. I hated that I threw up in front of him and I really didn't want to do it again. He bent down and kissed me gently on the forehead. Then he got up and went to shower. I smiled. He really was very sweet.

He finally dressed and left for work. I fell asleep and was surprised when I woke up and looked at the clock to see it was almost 1:00 in the afternoon! I got up and went to the bathroom to pee. Then I thought maybe a shower would make me feel better so I showered and put on clean pajamas. I moved to the couch and watched some TV and decided I should call and report to the boss man.

I dialed his number and he answered on the first ring. "Leah? Are you OK? Do you need something?"

"I'm actually feeling a little better. I just took a shower and moved to the couch. I thought I would call you and report in."

I could hear the relief in his voice as he said, "Good. I'm glad to hear you're better." It was good to know that he was really worried about me. "I'll stop by the restaurant and bring you some chicken soup. Does that sound good?"

"Actually it does, thanks."

"OK. See you later. Feel better."

"I will. Bye." I hung up and looked down at my phone. I pulled up the picture of me and Jake that I took on the mountain the day we went hiking. I smiled as our faces popped up on the screen. I ran my finger over Jake's happy face. I knew he cared about me. Maybe someday soon, he would realize just how much.

Jake let me sleep in the next morning. He got up and left for work before I even woke up. I opened my eyes and looked at the clock and saw it was after nine! That's not like me. I sat up and stretched, then suddenly realized I was going to puke! I ran to the bathroom and threw up and when I was through, I sat down next to the toilet and wondered why that happened.

I was fine all afternoon, and I ate the soup and crackers that Jake had brought me and it all stayed down. Why would it come back now? _Unless . . . no, I couldn't be. I can't . . . at least I always thought I couldn't._ _I couldn't be pregnant, could I? _My body was frozen in time right now. I hadn't had a period since I started phasing. I remember after I phased I started to think that even though I had the perfect genes to pass on, maybe I phased because I couldn't physically pass those on. That maybe Sam didn't imprint on me because I was incapable of having a baby. Then I had a horrible thought_. Oh no. Sam. No, it couldn't be his . . . _I put my head in my hands and pulled my hair_. What have I done? I realized that I took a three month long hiatus from phasing. Did my body just assume that I was done with that? Did it start working again? Was I aging? But I phased once at Thanksgiving . . . _

I decided maybe I should take a test just to see. No sense getting all upset if it was just the flu. I threw on some clothes and walked to the drug store down the street. I looked at all of the pregnancy test kits and wondered why the hell there had to be so many to choose from. I finally grabbed one off of the shelf, paid for it and walked home then sat down on the couch. I realized that I was too afraid to actually go into the bathroom and pee on the fucking stick. _Oh my God. What if I AM pregnant? _

I just sat there staring at the stupid box. How could I tell Jake? We never used birth control because I didn't think I could have kids. But I didn't know that for sure. He had to know that. If he was really worried about it, he could have bought some condoms. Then there was the bonding thing. Our bloodlines, blah, blah, blah. Maybe he would be OK with it. But I knew he would be all noble and want to marry me. And then I realized that . . . I wanted to marry Jake. I was actually jazzed to think I might be carrying his baby! But I didn't want him to marry me out of obligation. I wanted him to marry me because he loved me. I didn't want to be in a one-sided marriage. And then again, that nagging suspicion came creeping back into my mind: _What if this baby is Sam's? Oh God. This was too fucking complicated!_

I sat there contemplating all of this for an hour. Finally I worked up the courage to go and pee on the stick. I laid it on the counter and waited. I bought the easiest one to read. It would actually say "pregnant" if I was, or "not pregnant" if I wasn't. Even a moron could figure that out, right? I walked out to the kitchen and back several times just trying to expend my nervous energy. After five minutes, I walked back into the bathroom and picked up the stick. I felt tears roll down my cheeks as I read: _pregnant._

My hand instinctively moved to my stomach. _I am pregnant! I'm not some freak of nature she-wolf who can't have babies! _I felt such joy explode inside at that thought. I walked back to the couch and sat down holding the little stick. Then I started to think. _Jake and I are both werewolves. So is Sam. There has never been a baby born in the pack with both parents being wolves. I was the first female werewolf. What if this turned out to be some freaky wolf baby? What if instead of one, I had a litter? Oh my God! I couldn't go to a real doctor. He would put me in the hospital just for running a temp of 108! What was I going to do?_

My heart was racing and I was breathing hard. Panic swelled inside until I thought I would pass out. I got up and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. I drank it down and willed myself to calm down. I had no idea how far along I was. Although, if I was having morning sickness, I must be at least a couple of months. I closed my eyes and thought back. _We started having sex a week before Thanksgiving. Oh God, and Sam was on Thanksgiving Day. It was now the end of January._ I knew I had to see a doctor soon. But who?

Suddenly, I thought about Dr. Fang. Carlisle Cullen. Out of all of the leeches, I had to admit he was easiest to tolerate. And he had been pretty good to treat Jake when he got hurt in that fight with the newborns, thanks to me. He at least understood about the wolf thing. Maybe he could help. I wasn't sure how to get a hold of him. Maybe he would be working at the hospital today. It was worth a shot.

I picked up my phone and asked information for the number to the hospital in Forks. I dialed and asked to speak to Dr. Cullen and I was put on hold. Then I heard him answer, "Dr. Cullen."

"Um, hi. This is Leah Clearwater. Is this a bad time? Can you talk for a minute?"

"Of course, Leah. It's good to hear from you. Are you alright?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm calling. I have a . . . medical issue that I don't think I can go to a regular doctor about. I was wondering if I could come and see you. Could I do that?"

"Yes, of course. When would you like to come in?"

"Well, I live in Seattle now, but I am coming to LaPush to see my mom on Friday. I could stop in Forks at the hospital on my way to her house. Maybe, around one?"

"That will be fine. Just ask for me when you come into the hospital and they will page me. Can you tell me what this is about?"

I looked down at the stick. "Um, I'll tell you when I get there. Thank you very much."

"You're welcome. See you on Friday." And he hung up. I closed the phone and stared at it. What should I do about telling Jake? My hand went to my stomach again and I looked down. _Should I tell him? I'm just too afraid to tell him right now. Chicken shit._

I decided to wait until after I saw Carlisle. Then I would know _what t_o tell him. And maybe he could help me find out whose baby this was.

I forced myself to go through the next few days like I was feeling great, even though I wanted to die. The nausea was horrible in the mornings, and I would just dry heave and nothing would come out. And I was so fucking tired! All I wanted to do was sleep. And my boobs hurt. They just felt achy. I had to stop myself from wincing when Jake and I were having sex. I didn't want him to know they hurt.

Finally Friday arrived. I was going home alone this time. Jake didn't really want to go, and now I was glad. I was driving home today and coming home tomorrow night. That morning we made love when we woke up and it was very tender again. And after, I waited again to see if he might say it. The "L" word. But he didn't. He just smiled and got out of bed to shower. I laid there and tried hard to push down the nausea.

I climbed out of bed and started the coffee then dry heaved over the kitchen sink. I had straightened up just as Jake walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to get dressed. Now that we were sleeping together, he didn't even bother wrapping a towel around himself. He actually liked walking around naked. I would catch him every now and then sitting on the couch naked watching TV. I would just laugh as he would tell me, "This is my house, damnit. If I want to be naked, I'll be naked." I really didn't mind. He looked great naked!

He ate his breakfast and got ready for work then before he left, he pulled me close and held me. "Drive safe and call me as soon as you get there," he commanded.

"Yes, sir, boss man," I mumbled into his chest. "Are you sure you don't want me to run you to work?"

"It's not that far. I'll just jog there. It will be good for me." Then he said softly, "I'll miss you." I closed my eyes and willed myself not to cry.

I pulled back and looked at him. "Me, too." He bent down and kissed me very tenderly on the lips. Then he smiled at me and left.

I let the tears come and actually sat down on the couch and had a good cry. Maybe it was the hormones, or maybe it was guilt at not telling him. I don't know. But after it was over, I showered and dressed then packed an overnight bag. I grabbed my purse and keys and headed to the car.

This was the first time I had ever driven anywhere by myself. It was actually rather liberating! I cranked up the radio and sang horribly off tune. I stopped at a gas station after about an hour to go pee then I paid for the gas and bought a 32 ounce fountain Pepsi, a small bag of chips and a chocolate frosted donut. As I got back on the highway, I thought I should probably start watching what I ate and drank. I was eating for two now, so I should be good for the baby. I chucked half of the donut out the window.

I finally drove into Forks at a quarter to one. I parked and walked into the lobby of the hospital and found the information desk where I told them I was here to see Dr. Cullen. They paged him and as I stood there waiting for him, I felt like I might pass out. I was so nervous. I willed myself to calm down for the baby's sake.

He appeared about five minutes later with a friendly smile and said, "Leah! It's so good to see you." He held out his hand and I hesitated for a millisecond then shook it. "Thank you so much for seeing me," I replied. He led me back toward the ER and into an exam room. He closed the door behind him and offered me a chair. I sat down and took a deep breath.

He smiled and said softly, "So, why don't you tell me what this is all about."

I reached into my purse and pulled out the little stick that still said, "pregnant" and handed it to him.

"Oh, I see." He opened the folder he had with my name on it and jotted down "_possible pregnancy_." "I am writing notes just for myself. This won't go into the hospital system," he assured me.

I nodded. "I'm scared and I need some advice." I launched into my explanation about being a female werewolf and thinking I couldn't have kids. And I told him about my fears of having some freaky wolf baby or a litter.

That made him chuckle. "Well, let's don't get carried away, alright? I'd like to start by taking another pregnancy test just to make sure you really are pregnant. Then I'll draw some blood and run some tests. We can also do an ultrasound in a few weeks that will show us if there is more than one. How does that sound?"

I nodded and gave him a small smile. He reached into a drawer and took out a container. "Take this into the bathroom there and collect some urine. Then bring it back out to me and I'll run the test."

I took it from him and went into the bathroom to pee into it. I washed my hands and went back out to hand it to him. He told me to sit down and relax and he would be right back. I sat down, but I couldn't relax. My leg was bouncing up and down and I was actually biting my nails! I hadn't done that in years.

He was gone for what seemed like hours, but was actually only ten minutes. He walked in and smiled and said, "You are definitely pregnant. " I smiled at that. I couldn't help it. I was happy about the baby.

"I take it that makes you happy? You're not upset about being pregnant?"

"Yes, I'm happy. I thought I couldn't have kids. I thought I was some freak of nature she-wolf who was destined to be alone forever. I'm very happy to know that is not the case. But, I'm still worried about the baby. I really want to know that this will be a normal human baby."

He smiled. "Well then, let's take some blood and I'll do my best to find out for you." I nodded and rolled up the sleeve of my shirt. He picked up a needle and several empty tubes, and got down to business. It amazed me how he could be a bloodsucker and not be the least bit affected by my blood. He glanced over to see me studying him.

"You're wondering how I can do this and not want to drink it?"

I smiled. "Yea. I mean, it's what you do."

He finished filling the last tube and he pulled the needle out and put a gauze pad on my arm and told me to hold it there for a few minutes. "It took a couple of centuries to learn to tolerate it. But I love being a doctor. I wouldn't want to do anything else." He smiled at me. "Your brother tells me he would like to be a doctor someday. I think he would be a very good doctor. He shows a lot of compassion."

I smiled at that. "Yea, he does." He's too compassionate for my taste. Especially with the leech coven. And yet, here I was with Carlisle. Maybe I should be a little more tolerant.

"I will take these samples home with me and run the tests in my own lab. I actually have a sample of Jacob's blood that I have studied. I took it when I treated him after the fight with the newborns. I will find it interesting to compare yours to his. Can you give me a number where I can reach you? I will call as soon as I know anything."

I took out a piece of paper and wrote my cell number on it. "I would also like to physically examine you. Any doctor would do that for a woman who is pregnant. It will help to know that everything is progressing as it should be, and I should be able to give you an estimate of how far along you are."

I just nodded then he turned and pulled open a drawer and handed me a gown. "Undress and I will come in with a nurse and examine you." He stood up and took the tray with all of the blood tubes with him.

I waited on the exam table in my sexy hospital gown until he knocked then came in with a nurse. He examined me and I tried to push away the awkwardness of having a bloodsucker touching me in such an intimate place. _He's a doctor, Leah. Chill._ He finished his exam and told me to get dressed. After I dressed, he came back in and sat down. "I would suspect you are around 9 or 10 weeks pregnant. Does that sound about right?"

I thought back_. Thanksgiving time_. "Yes," I answered. _Shit. _I was hoping I wasn't that far along so Sam would be out of the picture.

He gave me a prescription for a prenatal vitamin and told me to take it before bed because it tends to make most women nauseous. _Great. Just what I needed. _He gave me some tips on how to handle the morning sickness and told me it wouldn't last too much longer. _Good! _I was supposed to stay away from caffeine and start eating healthier.

"I think that's it. Oh, and I don't know how phasing would affect the baby. That one is a little hard to figure out. So, for now, refrain from that."

"I will. I promise."

He smiled and stood up, so I stood, too. "Have you told Jacob yet?" he asked.

My head shot up and I looked at him. "I'm sorry. Seth told me that you were living in Seattle with Jacob. I guess I just assumed. . . "

"No, that's OK. Yes, we are living together. And I really hope this baby is Jake's, but . . . there is a slight chance that it might be . . . um, Sam's. It was one really stupid time on Thanksgiving." I sighed and asked, "Is there any way you can find that out for me?"

He nodded. "Yes, I can do that. I can take a sample of the fluid from around the baby and compare it to a DNA sample from each of the guys. You talk to them and let me know when you want to schedule that. We would have to do it soon, before you get too far along. But, I would like to see you back here in a month. Can you do that?"

I nodded and told him, "My mom is getting married in about three weeks. How about if we plan to do it then?"

"That's fine." I told him the date and he wrote it down on my chart. "I'll see you then. If you have any problems or questions in the meantime, please don't hesitate to call me, night or day." He handed me a card with his cell number on it.

"Thank you so much. I feel a lot better about everything." I really did. I felt very relieved.

He patted me on the shoulder and opened the door. I walked out and said goodbye and headed toward the parking lot. I felt the smile spread across on my face as I walked to my car_. I'm having a baby! _Regardless of who the father was, I knew that I already loved this baby. This was my baby. And I would raise it alone if I had to. But I hoped I wouldn't have to.

Jake POV:

I couldn't believe how lonely I was with Leah gone. I came home from work with a pizza. It's too lonely to cook for just one person. I plopped down in front of the TV and ate my pizza while flicking through the channels. I even found it too depressing to watch Sponge Bob without Leah here to complain about stupid it is. I took the pizza box out to the kitchen and then walked back into the living room and just stood there. I really was at a loss. I guess I needed to find a hobby.

I decided to take a run. I changed into some gym shorts and a t-shirt and my running shoes, grabbed my iPod and jogged down the stairs to the street. I put the ear buds in my ears and cranked my running playlist. I smiled as I started running. It still amazed me that Leah knew just what to get me for Christmas. She knew me very well. I found myself really liking that. I ran down past the park and around the neighborhood. It felt good to breathe in some fresh air and work the kinks out of my muscles. I made three laps around which was about 3 miles then I headed back home. I went right to the shower and then slipped on a clean pair of boxers and sat down on the edge of the bed.

I looked over at Leah's side of the bed and sighed. I was starting to have feelings for Leah. Very intense feelings. It kind of snuck up on me. Maybe cause we spent so much time together. And she cared for me and made me feel like I mattered to her. I don't know. I knew I was starting to feel more than just friendship for her. The other night when we started fooling around . . . and then it turned into something so . . . amazing. I could feel the difference of just having sex with her, and making love to her. The vibration that went through my whole body was so strong then. _I wonder if she felt that, too?_

I walked out to the living room and picked up my phone. I dialed Leah and waited to hear her voice. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Hey, Jake? What's up?"

_I just missed you so much that I had to hear your voice. Yea, you wuss, say that. _"Not much. Ate some pizza while I watched Sponge Bob then took a run. I just got out of the shower and I thought I would give you a call and see what you're up to."

"Well, I helped Mom with dinner and Seth with some math homework. Pretty exciting stuff, huh?"

I chuckled. "Whoa, you better pace yourself. "

"Yea, I know. Tomorrow morning, Mom and I are going shopping , so I have to rest up. You know what a shopper my mom is."

"I know what a shopper YOU are," I told her and she laughed. "Yea, you know me too well, Jacob Black." _Yes, I did. But I still wanted to know her better._

"Hang on," she said. I could hear her say something to her mom then she was moving. "OK. I ran upstairs into my room so I could talk. So, do you miss me?"

_Terribly. I can't stand being here without you. _"Yea, I do. And I know you miss me. No hot body to run your hands all over. How will you sleep tonight?" I teased.

She laughed at that. "Hmmm, it will be tough. I do miss you. More than I should."

_More than I should? What did she mean by that? Quick change of subject . . . _"So, is your mom all nervous about the wedding yet?"

She was quiet for a second then she said, "Not yet. I'm sure when it gets closer she will be. She says that she's trying to keep it small. I hope she means that."

We got quiet again. I felt like she was having just as much trouble as I was at finding something to say. "Well, I'll let you go. I just wanted to say good night. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes, you will. Night, Jake."

"Night, Leah." I closed the phone and looked at her pillow again. _Is it the loneliness that made me miss her so much, or was it the bonding? Or was it something else? _I thought back to the conversation that I had with Dad at Thanksgiving. About this bonding thing. He told me that the feelings would come, and I couldn't deny the feelings I had for her. I kept wondering if she felt anything different for me. I shook my head and went back out to the couch to try and watch some TV.

Later than night, I had a nightmare. _I was walking on the beach with Bella, teasing her and loving how her smile made her eyes light up. But this time, when I went to kiss her, our lips actually touched. I was kissing her when suddenly Bella disappeared and it was Leah I was kissing. I pulled away to look at her and saw the look of horror on her face. "Leah, what's wrong?" I asked her. She didn't answer. She fell forward onto me and I saw the bite wound on her neck with blood oozing out from around it. "Leah!" I shouted at her. Then she turned her head to the side to look at me and say, "Why, Jake? Why would you let her do this to me?" Then I saw Bella walk up behind Leah and smile at me. But she wasn't my Bella. She was pale and beautiful and her smile was so . . . evil. She walked up to whisper in my ear, "You're mine, Jacob. You'll always be mine . . . and then she sunk her teeth into my neck. " _That's when I woke up sweating and shaking like crazy. I bolted up and looked around. Then I put my head in my hands. _She's not here Jake. She's not here to comfort you tonight._

"Go away, Bella!" I screamed out. "Go away and leave me the fuck alone!" I reached out and grabbed Leah's pillow and laid down then wrapped myself around it. I inhaled her scent and finally calmed down enough to fall back to sleep.

"Jake! I'm home!" I heard her call out. I was in the bedroom putting laundry away.

"In the bedroom!" I called back.

She walked in and said, "Just where I like you the best."

I dropped the laundry basket and walked over to scoop her up into my arms. I squeezed her tight and said softly, "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," she said into my chest.

And then our lips came together and our clothes melted away and we were rolling on the bed in a heat of passion. When we were spent we looked at each other, panting, and started laughing. God, it was so good to have her home.

After that first day Leah was home, she became rather quiet and withdrawn. She jumped every time her phone rang, and she spent a lot of time in the bathroom in the mornings. I knew something was up, but I guess I wanted her to tell me in her own time. We always talked about everything, so I figured she would come to me when she was ready.

But she didn't. A couple more weeks went by and I was still waiting. I had already figured out what was going on and I wasn't real sure how I felt about it. At first I was shocked, then a little scared. I mean, becoming a father at 19 was never something I had planned on. But what bothered me the most was Leah holding back and not trusting me enough to tell me.

The night before we were to leave for the wedding, I finally decided to confront her. We finished dinner and cleaned up the kitchen and then I took her hand and led her to the couch. She started to pick up the remote, but I put my hand out to stop her and said, "Leah, we have to talk."

She gave me a curious look. "OK. What's going on?"

I sighed and replied, "You tell me."

She squinted her eyes as she said, "I don't know what you mean."

I held her hand and said, "Leah, for the past few weeks, you have been hiding something from me. And, I'm not stupid, OK? You think I can't hear you heaving in the bathroom in the morning? Or hear you crying?" Her eyes grew wide and she drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them as if to shield herself from what was coming. "And come on, you have to know that I've noticed how big your boobs are! And I really like them, by the way." She put her head down on her knees. "But what bothers me the most is that you don't trust me to tell me. So Leah." I reached out and tipped her chin up to make her look at me. "Tell me. Please just tell me. Now."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said very quietly, "I'm pregnant."

I nodded my head and said, "I know. Now, why you didn't trust me enough to tell me?"

"It's not that I didn't trust you. At first, I was just freaked out, you know? I thought I could never have kids. You know that. We never used any birth control because of that, and I . . . don't know. I have been trying to work up the courage all week to tell you. I just was so . . . afraid. I wasn't sure how you would take it. I'm . . . I'm so sorry."

I put my arm around her and drew her close as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "Leah, never be afraid of me. I've always got your back. I seem to remember you telling me that once or twice. Well, it goes both ways. You are not in this alone, OK? This is my baby, too. And I will be right here beside you all the way."

She sat up and looked at me. "Why? Out of obligation? Because you're _bonded_ to me? Or is it because you really care . . . about me and about the baby?"

I was instantly pissed off. "God, Leah! How can you even ask me that? Can't you tell by now how much I care about you? We've been living here together for almost six months now! We sleep together every night and . . . " I had to stop and gather my thoughts. I was getting angry and I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing. I knew I really cared about her, but that fucking nightmare I had while she was gone really shook me up. I knew that Bella would always be there. Her ghost would always haunt me. Would I be able to fully commit to Leah? She deserved all of my heart, not just a little piece of it. And just because we might have some freaky bonding thing going on, didn't mean I could cheat her out of what she deserved. I took Leah's face into my hands and said, "Leah, I really care about you. I want so badly to give you more, but I just can't yet. I'm trying so hard. Please know that." I bent forward to kiss her and she pulled back and got off of the couch. I closed my eyes and hung my head. _Shit._

She had taken a few steps away and stopped. She had her back to me as she said, "I know that Jake. But now there is a baby to think about. I want this baby to know that it has two parents that are committed to being there every day. And it would be nice if those two parents loved each other." She turned to face me. "But, I can't lie to you anymore. I really care about you. I mean, I . . . I love you, Jake. I have for awhile." More tears rolled down her face as she smiled and added, "It's crazy, I know. I didn't want to fall in love. We told each other we would live here as friends. And when we started sleeping together, I told myself, it was just for the sex. But . . . somewhere along the way, it happened. I fell in love with you. And I know you're not ready for that, but I hope that someday, you will be. I know we will be together because of this bond we have, but . . . well." She stopped talking and I just sat there. I had no idea how to respond to that. _She loved me! Was it because of the bond, or because of . . ._

"Listen, Jake. Don't freak out on me, OK? Things don't have to change between us. I don't want you to pull away from me because you're afraid of what I just told you. I just thought you deserved to know the truth. You're right. I need to trust you, so, this is me, trusting you. I'm trusting you right now not to hurt me."

I got up and walked over to her. She looked up at me with eyes pleading with me not to crush her. I took her in my arms and held her close to me. I closed my eyes and wished with everything I had that I could tell her that I loved her. But I couldn't. So I said nothing.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Leah POV:

The next morning, I was packing to leave for LaPush when my phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hi honey. Are you on the road yet?" Mom asked.

"No, still packing. We are planning to leave in about 20 minutes," I told her.

"OK. Well, I called to tell you that, uh . . . "

"Mom, is something wrong? Are you OK?" She sounded really weird. _Did Charlie call off the wedding or something?_

"I'm fine. I just have to tell you something that you don't want to hear." _Oh God. Bella. Here it comes_. "Charlie talked to Bella last night, and she told him that she really wanted to be here for the wedding and that if Carlisle would let her, she would try to be here. Apparently since she was so sick, she's still susceptible to germs. " _That bitch. _

"If her Carlisle would let her. More like if her conscience would let her."

"Leah, please. For Charlie's sake, you have to behave." I closed my eyes and willed myself to stay calm. Mom was right. Neither Charlie nor Mom deserved to be upset on their wedding day.

"I haven't had a chance to tell you yet, but we saw her this week. She called and invited us over to their house. It was so uncomfortable, knowing I was completely surrounded by vampires and only Seth to protect me. Of course, he's been going over there to visit and he kept telling me I had nothing to be afraid of."

"How did Charlie react?" I asked her.

"Well, he was thrilled actually. It's been a very long time since he's seen her. She told him she was so pale because she'd been so sick, and he just accepted it. He told her how beautiful she looked and how grown-up. He was so happy to see her, Leah. As a parent, I know how he felt. I couldn't give up on you or Seth for anything."

"I know, Mom. Why don't they just tell him the truth? Why don't WE tell him the truth? He's going to be living with a werewolf under his roof, Mom. Shouldn't he know that? Shouldn't he know that his daughter is a vampire?"

"Oh God, Leah. I have no idea how he would take it. You know we can't tell Charlie about you and Seth. It's forbidden. And as far as Bella goes, well, that's up to her. But I haven't told you the best part."

"What?" I asked eagerly.

"They brought out the baby and tried to pass her off as a distant relative of Edward's that is now an orphan," she told me.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Leah, you mouth is awful."

"Sorry, Mom. Go on."

"Their baby is truly the most beautiful child I have ever seen. But she's not a baby. She should be, what, around six months old? She looks like she's at least a year or older. Seth tried to explain it to me after we got home why she looks older. She's beautiful, but she doesn't look well. Seth said that the human part of her cannot keep up with the rapid rate of growth. Carlisle is giving her human growth hormones to help, and I guess she is doing somewhat better."

"Did Charlie believe them? That she is Edward's long lost cousin, or whatever?"

"He didn't know what to believe. I mean she has Bella's eyes, for God's sake. Any idiot could see that. And I know he did. He just didn't want to ask. I mean, even if she was pregnant before they got married, the baby couldn't be over a year old."

"Wow. She's got balls, I'll give her that," I said in awe.

Mom sighed and said, "Oh Leah. What happened to the proper young lady I raised?"

"She turned into a wolf and picked up all their bad habits. Sorry, Mom."

She laughed as she said, "I miss you. Hurry up and get here already, will ya? And try very, very hard to be good if Bella and Edward come to the wedding."

"I'll try, Mom, I really will. But I'm so worried about Jake. He's finally settled here and doing better. I don't know what will happen if he sees her." He was in the shower right now, so he couldn't hear me, thank God.

"I know. I'm worried for him, too. That's why I'm calling. He needs to be prepared. Talk to him, Leah. Let him have time to prepare himself. You know, it might be good for him like it was for you and Sam." _Oh yea. That worked out great! Now I have to keep wondering if Sam is the father of my baby._

I heard the bathroom door open and Jake head for the bedroom. "I have to go, Mom. I'll see you in a couple of hours."

"OK, honey. Drive safe."

"We will. Bye." I closed the phone and threw it on the bed as Jake walked in naked from his shower.

"Everything OK? You look upset." He reached into the dresser drawer and pulled out a clean pair of boxers and slipped them on.

_Well, here goes_. I pulled on his arm to sit down on the bed with me. "No, everything is not OK, and yes, I am upset." I took a deep breath and said, "That was my mom on the phone. She called to tell us that . . . there is a chance that Bella will make it to the wedding. She called Charlie last night." I watched his face to see how he was taking it. He was hiding his feelings too well these days. "And Mom just told me that she and Charlie were invited over to the Cullen house this last week to see her. And they met the baby, who is not a baby, but is the size of a one-year old. She's not going to pretend she's dead, Jake. She is going to try to keep up some type of a relationship with Charlie."

He had his head down and he ran his hands through his hair, which I knew meant he was frustrated. He stood up and walked over to the window. "Jake? Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking."

He was quiet for a moment then he said, "We always knew this day would come sooner or later, Leah." He turned to face me. "It's time to grow up. I'm going to be a dad now. It's time to put all of this bullshit behind me and move on."

I smiled and stood up and went to him. "Good answer," I said as I wound my arms around his waist and laid my head on his bare chest. He put his arms around me and rested his chin on my head.

"It won't be easy though, Leah. I will really need you today." I heard his voice shake. I could feel his body shake a little as I held him. He let out a ragged sigh and I held him tighter.

"You have me, Jake. I got your back, remember, boss man?"

"Yea, I remember," he said softly. I held for another minute then I let my arms drop and moved to step back to finish my packing, but he pulled me against him and his lips crushed down on mine. I was surprised and it took me a minute to react. He pulled away and said, "I need you Leah. I need you now. I'm so scared." He yanked my shirt over my head and had my bra unhooked and off before I realized what was happening. He backed me up to the bed and pressed me into the mattress, ravaging my lips in what I suspected was an effort to drive _her_ from his mind. He buried his face in my breasts as he was pulling at the zipper of my jeans and frantically trying to pull them down. He then moved his lips back to mine as he climbed on top of me. He plunged himself into me a little more forcibly than I was used to and I cried out. I didn't have a chance to get wet, and it hurt . He mistook that cry for passion and kept driving, hard into me, trying to find that release that he so desperately wanted. I just hung on and let the tears roll down my face. He finally came and I felt his whole body shake. Then he fell to the side and I heard him stifle a sob. I looked over to see his face was wet. _Bella Swan Cullen, I hate you with a passion I have never felt for anyone else_.

He finally collected himself enough to turn to me. I could see his face was wet. "Damnit, Leah, I am so sorry. I should never have used you like that. Shit. Are you alright? Did I hurt you? Or . . . the baby?" He propped himself up on his elbow and brushed the hair from my face.

I just closed my eyes. I couldn't look at him right now. I was afraid he would see the hate there I have for _her _and think it was meant for him. Although, I wasn't too happy with him right now either. "Leah, honey. Talk to me."

I opened my eyes again and said, "I'm OK, Jake. And so is the baby. Don't worry," I said evenly.

He gathered me up and held me to his chest. "Please forgive me, Leah. I don't ever want to use you like that again. I am so sorry."

"I forgive you, Jake. It's alright. I understand." _I did. And I made a vow to myself right then: If I could find a way to make Bella suffer for what she's done to Jake, I would. And I would enjoy it._

I had an appointment with Dr. Cullen in Forks, so Jake was pulling into the hospital parking lot and hunting for a place to park. We had been more quiet than usual on the drive here. He was still feeling horrible about what happened this morning, and I was wrapped up in my own thoughts of trying to figure out how I could be in the same room with Bella and not phase and rip her apart. Carlisle had already warned me not to phase because of the baby. How lucky for her.

Jake and I walked into the hospital and I asked the lady at the desk to page Dr. Cullen. She did and we waited. "You don't have to go in with me. I know it will be hard for you to see him again."

"Leah, stop. I'm a big boy, OK? Stop babying me and let me deal with this shit," he said grumpily.

I turned to look out the window and muttered, "Yea, cause you are doing such a great job so far_."_ I glanced over and saw the hurt in his eyes. It was then I heard, "Jacob! It's good to see you again." I turned to see Carlisle hold his hand out to Jake. He took the hand and shook it and answered, "It's good to see you again, too."

Then Carlisle turned to me and smiled. "Hello, Leah. You ready to come back?"

I smiled and nodded and we followed him back to an exam room. We stopped outside in the hall and Carlisle had me step onto the scales to weigh me. I really didn't want to look. "A gain of three pounds. So that's, five so far?" he asked and I nodded. I shuddered and stepped off the scales to follow him into the exam room. I took a seat on the table as he closed the door. Jake just stood by the door as Carlisle sat on the stool next to the table and took out a folder. He opened it and jotted down my weight. "OK, so any problems since I saw you last?"

"No. Actually the morning sickness is much better."

"Good." He jotted again in my folder then looked up and said, "Well, before I do anything else, I want you to know that I studied the blood samples I took. I compared them to the ones I took from Jacob and they are identical. I am sure that your baby will be just like the two of you. I take it you were both born as normal babies and nothing changed for you before puberty, so I don't think you need to worry about having puppies or weird wolf babies," he added with a smile.

Jacob laughed and I shot him a look. "What? It's kind of funny, Leah, that you would be worried about that."

I rolled my eyes and laid back on the table. Carlisle said, "Let's listen to the heartbeat." All of a sudden the room was filled with this very fast thumping sound. Jake's eyes grew wide and he said, "That's the baby?"

Carlisle smiled and said, "Yes. The fetus heartbeat always runs faster than ours. It's, let's see, 136. That's good."

Jake just smiled and shook his head.

Then he listened to my heart and asked me some more questions. "I would like to schedule an ultrasound in another month. Is that alright?"

"Yes, of course." He set a date and time and told me to keep taking my vitamin and watch what I eat. "And about the other test we discussed? We will have to do that soon."

I nodded. I knew he was right. But I still hadn't told Jake about Sam. "Can I call you about that?"

"Sure. Other than that, I'll see you next month," he said with a smile then he disappeared down the hall. Jake looked at me and asked, "What other test?"

I couldn't do it. I knew I should just say it and get it over with, but I was too chicken-shit. "Um, just another test to check blood types or something." I got up and told him I had to pee and took off for the bathroom. I felt horrible lying to him. I was going to have to fess up soon. Just . . . not yet.

I came out of the bathroom and found Jake waiting for me. He smiled as he took my hand and led me out to the parking lot. He even opened the car door for me. I got in and waited for him to get into the driver's seat. He just sat there for a moment then he turned and said, "That was so amazing. Hearing that heartbeat. "

"Makes it seem real, doesn't it?" I told him.

"Yea, it does." He started the engine and we headed toward LaPush.

He pulled up to Mom's house and parked. I got out and he opened the hatch and took out my bag and then hesitated. "You know, Leah. It seems silly for me to stay at Dad's now that you're pregnant. Can't we both just stay here? Do we really need to keep up the illusion that we're not sleeping together?"

I just looked at him. "I don't know if Mom will see it that way. I'm not sure how she'll take the news of me being pregnant." I was so afraid she would be, I don't know, disappointed in me somehow. It's not like I was 16 and in high school. I mean, I'm 20. I should really have known better.

He slammed the hatch down and stepped over in front of me. "Leah, don't look like that. You have nothing to be ashamed of, OK? We both made the decision to sleep together. And we were OK with it. I'm still OK with it!" I rolled my eyes and smiled at him. "Hold your head up. I don't ever want this baby to think it was a mistake."

"But isn't that exactly what it is? We didn't' plan on getting pregnant. We're weren't married, or engaged. We weren't even in love with each other. We were just fooling around and it happened."

I saw anger creep into Jake's eyes. "I don't care that we weren't married or engaged. When we decided to sleep together, I still cared about you. If all I wanted was sex, I could have gone out to any bar and found a girl willing to do that. I wanted to sleep with YOU. Because I cared about YOU. I still do, Leah. A lot. You have to know that."

"I do, Jake. I'm sorry. And . . . I love this baby, so much." He put his arms around me and said, "Then let's go in there and tell your mom that we are having a baby. And don't hang your head when you tell her, Leah. This baby doesn't deserve that. This is our baby. Our baby." _You don't know how much I hope that's true. I hate lying to you. _He kissed me on top of the head then let me go. He picked up my bag and said, "Let's go, baby mama." I laughed as I followed him up the walk.

"Really, Jake? Baby mama?" Why did he have to be so sweet to me? All the anger I had for him earlier had just disappeared. _Poof!_

He opened the door for me and held it so I could walk in past him. I walked in and found Mom sitting in the chair in the living room working on her dress. "Hey, Mom!" I called out.

She turned as we walked in and smiled. "Hey kids!" She put down the dress and stood up to hug me. "You look good, honey. Last time you were here you looked so pale. You have a little color back in your cheeks."

I looked at Jake and he nodded. "Um, yea. About that. Can we talk to you for a minute, Mom?"

She looked at both of us warily and said, "Sure." She sat back down in the chair as we sat on the couch. Jake put his arm around my shoulder for support.

"Mom, I, um . . . I'm pregnant." I looked at her and anxiously awaited her reaction.

She looked at me then Jake. "You're . . . pregnant? I thought that you couldn't . . . how far along?"

"About three months," I answered.

She just sat there shaking her head. "So, all those times I asked about you two and you assured me you were 'just friends,' apparently you were more than that." I closed my eyes. Sue Clearwater angry was not something I enjoyed seeing. "You have been living together all this time, and apparently sleeping together, and you never even would admit to dating! Leah you're 20 years old for God's sake. I know that you know where babies come from. Both of you."

I opened them again and said, "Look, Mom. It's really complicated. I mean, we were just friends. We are still . . . "

That when Jake spoke up. "Sue, I'm sorry. I know this isn't the conventional way of doing things. When we left here last year, we were both very broken people. We had no idea where we were going or what we were going to do. We just knew we had to get away from here. Away from the pain that surrounded us here. And while we were in Seattle, we started living again. And right before we came home for Thanksgiving, we made the decision to sleep together. We still weren't ready to fall in love, but we needed each other. We thought that Leah couldn't have kids. I'm sure that she's told you all about her fears there." He looked at me and I nodded. "But, we should have taken some sort of precaution anyway, but we didn't. And now, we're having a baby." He squeezed me to him for a second. "She finally told me last night, even though I had already suspected, so I haven't had a lot of time to think about things. But I want you to know that I care very much for Leah, and for this baby. I will take very good care of both of them."

Mom just sat there, taking in everything Jake was telling her. She stared right at him then finally asked, "But do you love her, Jake?" I _cringed. Why did she have to ask that?_

"I'll be honest with you. I told Leah last night, that I care about her a lot. And I want to love her, but . . . " he closed his eyes and said, "She's still there. As much as I hate it, she's still there." He opened his eyes and looked at me to add, "And Leah doesn't deserve to be second-best."

"Oh, Jake," Mom sighed. She reached out and took Jake's hand in hers. "Thank you for being honest with Leah, and with me. I really hope that you can find a way to move on, honey, because now you have to. You have no choice. You're going to be a father. When you become a parent, you learn that nothing else is more important than your family. And Leah is this baby's mama, so that makes her your family, too."

"I know," he said softly.

Then she actually smiled. "You know, your mom and I used to joke when you two were little that we hoped you'd grow up and get married to each other someday. Sarah and I always wanted to be grandmas together." Jake smiled at that. "I wish she were here to see this."

Just then Seth came bounding in the door. He was wearing just shorts, so he must have been out on patrol. "Hey guys!" he said as he made his way over to us. Then his face fell as he saw us all sitting there, looking very serious. "Someone die?" he asked.

Jake laughed softly and said, "No, Seth. No one died. Quite the opposite, in fact. You're going to be an uncle. How bout that?"

I could see the confusion on Seth's face then the light bulb went off. "What? Leah? You're pregnant?"

I smiled and said, "Yes, I am."

He didn't smile back. In fact, he shot a really nasty look at Jake. "Are you going to marry her?"

Jake glance at me quickly then said, "Well, Seth, I just found out last night, so . . ."

"It's not a hard question, Jake. You loved her enough to knock her up, didn't you? Or did you? Maybe you just decided it was finally time to get laid. I've heard the guys and what they say." Jake's face was turning red with embarrassment and anger.

That's when Mom stood up and grabbed Seth. "Enough, Seth! Stop it."

He shrugged out of her hold and looked back at Jake. "You son of a bitch! I looked up to you! I always thought of you as my brother! No wonder you wanted me to stay here. You didn't want me to get in the way of you banging my sister! God, you make me sick!" He turned and ripped open the front door and slammed it hard behind him. I could see him disappear into the woods through the window.

"Oh, God, Jake. I'm sorry. I never thought he would react like that," I said quickly.

Jake stood up and moved to the door. I noticed he had kicked his shoes off while he was sitting beside me and now he stripped off his socks and his shirt. "I'm going after him." He opened the door and shut it then took off for the woods.

I looked over at Mom and said, "I am so sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to cause trouble today. I promised."

She pulled me to her and said, "I know, Leah. It'll be alright. Jake will talk to him." I just rested my head on her shoulder and hoped she was right. "And here I was worried about you killing Bella."

"Well, the day is still young," I said softly. That made her chuckle and said, "God help us all."

While they were gone, Mom asked me to try on my dress for the wedding. "Mom! I need some help," I called. She came into my room and tried to zip my dress. It wasn't working. "I only gained five pounds. It shouldn't be this tight." The dress had fit me perfectly when we bought it. It was a dark red color and it was tight-fitting enough that I was afraid my baby bump would show. It also was a little more low-cut than I should have bought.

"Yes, but it's where you gained it. Leah, have you seen your boobs?" she asked with a smile.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, mother, I have. They're huge!"

She laughed. "Well, I bet Jake doesn't mind that, does he?"

"Mother!" I exclaimed.

"Come on, Leah. It's no secret now what you've been up to. Don't be all shy now." Well, she did have a point. "You love him, don't you?" she asked softly. I turned my head quickly and tried to think of a lie. "Don't even try it, honey. I could see it in your eyes when he was talking."

"I do, Mom. I can't help it," I said as I sank down onto the bed. "I realized it a few weeks ago, before I knew I was pregnant."

She sat down beside me and put her arm around me. "Oh honey. It's horrible to be in love alone. I was really hoping you were done with that."

I smiled. "Yea, me, too. But then I had to go out and find the most injured, broken guy I could find. Pretty stupid, huh?"

"No, it's not stupid. We can't always help who we fall in love with. But I have a feeling, that he cares for you a lot more than he realizes. Just give him time."

"Well, we have that at least. I guess that I am . . . Jake's mate. That our bloodlines chose each other . . ."

She interrupted me with, "You're trying to tell me that you are bonded with Jake, aren't you?"

"You knew?" I asked in surprise.

She smiled. "Yes, Billy told me. He said that Jake was pretty upset about it because he had no idea that could happen. And because you had no choice in the matter."

"That's what our fight at Christmas was about."

"How do you feel about it now?" she asked.

"In some ways, I still hate it. I hate never having a choice! I hate that we can't just live a normal life. Our life in Seattle is so great! Jake loves his job there and . . . but, it doesn't matter. It can't be changed. And now that there is a baby on the way . . . well, this baby should be here, among family. So, I guess I'm resigned to it."

She actually laughed at that! I shot her a look and she said, "Well, listen to you! You sound like Eyeore! 'I'm resigned to it.' Let's see. You and Jake are best friends, and you love him. He treats you with respect and cares for you. He's the leader of this tribe, not to mention gorgeous to look at, and you will be his right arm and help him lead our people. You will be royalty, Leah! And to top it off, you have a baby on the way! Something you were afraid you would never get to experience. Too bad you didn't get to choose any of that. Oh well."

I rolled my eyes and laughed as I said, "Yea, OK, I get it. It's not so bad." But then I added, "I know that Jake will be here for me and the baby, but . . . I want him to love me, too. Is that asking too much?"

"No, it's not asking too much. Jake is a good guy. I think he realizes that he can't live in the past forever. Not now with a baby on the way. Maybe all that will change today." _If Bella shows up. I knew that's what she meant._

I looked at her and replied, "I don't know about that."

She smiled at me then and said, "So, my baby's having a baby. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Do I look old enough to be a grandma?"

I laughed at that. "No, Mom. But you're going to be. Are you sure you're not, I don't know, disappointed in me?"

"Oh Leah. No, I'm not disappointed in you. These things happen. I just want you to be happy. Are you happy about having a baby?"

"Well, I'm terrified, actually! But, yes, I am happy. I never knew you could love someone before you ever met them, but I do. I love this baby very much, Mom. And I just hope I can be as good of a mom as you are."

She still had her arm around me and she pulled me close and put a kiss on my forehead. "Oh, honey. That's very sweet. I'm sure you'll be a great mom. OK, enough of this. Let's see what we can do with this dress. The wedding is in three hours. We better hustle!"

Jake POV:

I had run from the house and into the woods. I whipped off my jeans and threw them down onto the ground then tied my boxers to my ankle. I took off at a run and felt my body transforming into my familiar wolf body. I had missed this more than I cared to admit. I knew I would have to face 'my destiny' as Dad called it. This is who I am, and I can never forget that. Especially now that I may have a son, or daughter, to pass this on to.

As I ran through the forest, I realized that I couldn't hear Seth. He wasn't a part of my pack anymore. He was back with Sam. _Shit. How would I find him now?_ I put my nose to the ground and tried to find his scent. I picked it up right away and followed it to a small clearing near Sam's house. I saw him just lying there on the ground, still in his wolf body. I knew I couldn't talk to him like this, so I phased back, pulled my boxers on and walked into the clearing.

I stopped next to him and said, "Come on, bro. You know we need to talk." He just turned his head away from me.

"Seth, come on. You know it wasn't like that. When we left here, we were both broken and hurt. Especially me. I was a fucking mess! Sometimes, I still am. Look, Seth. You may only be 16, but you're a guy and a wolf. You know that you don't have to be in love with a girl to be sexually attracted to her. I know she's your sister, dude, and you may not want to hear it, but she's hot. And she's actually the one that started it." He growled at me and got up and walked to the other side of the clearing.

"OK, yea, I get that. I hate thinking about Paul and Rachel like that, too. But you have to understand that I really care about your sister. And this baby. I want to love her, I really do. And I hope that someday soon, I can finally get Bella out of my head forever. I don't want to live in the past. I can't. I have a baby coming, and I have to grow up and face that responsibility." I walked closer to him again. "Seth? Please, talk to me. I can't stand you hating me."

He turned his huge head to look at me. At least the anger was gone from his eyes. He finally took a few steps away and phased back. He reached down for his shorts. Even though we were guys and nudity didn't really bother us, there were times when you just felt better having a serious conversation covered up.

He walked back and stopped a few feet from me. "Sorry, I blew up at you like that. I'm not really sure why. I mean, I'm not really stupid enough to think you guys weren't doing it. You've been living in the same apartment for that long, I guess it was bound to happen. It's just . . . she's my sister. And I know we aren't as close as we used to be. I sometimes wish we were."

"Yea, I know. Rach and I were really close and then she went away to college. And she never came back for four years. That hurt me a lot. I love Becca, too, but I don't know. She got married and moved to Hawaii, but it didn't hurt me near as much as Rachel leaving. Then she comes back and like, five minutes later, Paul imprints on her. God, I hated him for that. Oh." It was like a light bulb went off in my head. _That's how Seth feels. Like I feel about Paul._

Seth looked at me curiously. "What?"

"I get it now, bro. Rachel and Paul. That's how you feel about me."

He laughed at that. "Hardly, Jake! No one can stand Paul!"

I joined him in laughter. "I don't know. According to my sister, 'he's a great guy.' Yea, I had to drink a beer just to be able to stay in the same room with him at Thanksgiving and not kill him!"

Seth laughed harder. "Oh man. I get that."

We finally calmed down and he said, "Jake, it's cool, bro. I didn't mean those things I said."

"Yea, you did, Seth. You were hurt. It's OK. But, I hope you can still think of me as a brother, cause . . . I kind of think of you that way."

His face lit up at that. "You do?"

"Yea, I do. An annoying little brother who's too slow!" I said as I took him down and we rolled around wrestling. What was it about us guys? We could solve anything with wrestling or a bro hug.

He finally called a truce and we lay there on our backs, looking at the sky. He looked over and said, "Man, you and Leah, having a baby. I feel sorry for the kid." Then he laughed as I reached out to grab him and he rolled out of my reach and stood up.

"Don't get me started again, bro!" I hollered out.

He whipped off his shorts and tied them to his ankle and said, "We better get home. If I miss this wedding, Mom will kick my ass for sure!"

I stood up and did the same. He phased and ran by me and I phased and quickly caught him. As we ran for home, we didn't notice that Sam had come out into the woods. I found out much later that he had heard that little bit of our conversation and it would be used to cause trouble.

We got back to the house and walked in. Leah came running over to Seth. "Seth, please don't be pissed. I . . . "

He cut her off with, "It's OK, Leah. Me and Jake talked. We're cool."

She looked over at me and I nodded. "Oh good," she said as she pulled him to her for a hug. "I am so sorry. Please, be happy for me, OK? I couldn't stand it if you thought I was a slut or something."

He looked at her and asked, "Why would you say that? I don't think you're a slut. Geez, Leah. It's OK. I'll be the best uncle this kid could ever want."

That made her smile. "Yes, you will. I know you will." Then she stepped back and said, "You better get in the shower and get ready. Mom is already on the warpath because you weren't home yet. Go!" She gave him a shove toward the stairs and he took off.

"And you," she said to me. "Come here." I stepped over in front of her and she smiled and put her arms around my waist. "Thank you. Thank you for talking to him."

I put my arms around her and said, "It's OK. I love the kid, too, you know. I couldn't stand the thought of him hating me cause I knocked up his sister. We talked, and it dawned on me that he was feeling a little like I did when Paul imprinted on Rachel. So, we're cool. No worries."

She smiled and said, "Good! Now, go get your clothes out of the car and bring them in. We have to get ready to go. You can use my room to get dressed." She leaned up and kissed me.

"Yes, boss woman." She rolled her eyes and smacked me on the ass. I kind of liked that! She went upstairs as I walked to the car to get my clothes. She had ironed them and left them on hangers for me. I took them off of the back seat then grabbed my bag with my other things in it and walked back to the house and up the stairs. I walked to Leah's room and the door was closed. I knocked and said, "Hey, Leah. It's me."

"Come in," she called.

I opened the door and there she was, in her underwear, sitting on the bed crying. I closed the door behind me and laid my clothes onto the chair then walked over to the bed. "Leah, honey, what is it?'

"Mom tried to fix this stupid dress for me, but I don't think it's going to work. Have you seen these boobs?" She stuck here chest out and I laughed. "Yes, I have, and baby, I don't see anything wrong with them." She smacked me. "I'm serious, Jake!"

She stood up and looked at the full-length mirror on the wall. She ran her hands gently over her baby bump and then slowly up over her boobs. And it was really turning me on. I just stared at her and brought up visions of us together, in our bed, running my hand over her like that. She caught my eye in the mirror and she smiled. "Jacob Black. I've seen that look before. You know we don't have time for that."

I smiled and got up to wrap my arms around her from behind and look into the mirror. "I know. But, Leah, you're so worried about being fat, and I've never seen you look more beautiful or more sexy." She tried to brush me off, but I held her and said, "I mean it. You are truly beautiful." I put my hands on top of hers over our baby. I couldn't believe how possessive I felt all of a sudden. Like it was up to me to guard them and keep them safe. Leah leaned back into me and let me hold her.

"Leah!" Her mom called out. "Come on! We have to get going!" She knocked on the door. "I'm going downstairs. You better be down in ten minutes!" We heard her walk away and go downstairs.

"You heard the boss. Let's go. Where's your dress? I'll help you then I'll get dressed." She smiled at me and turned to kiss me.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but what you just said, Jake . . . I love you. Thank you. It was just what I needed to hear." Then she walked away. I looked into the mirror at myself. _She deserves to be loved. Let go, Jacob, and give into this bond. Just let go and let yourself love her._


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Leah POV:

We all piled into Mom's car to drive to the little church in town where Mom and Charlie were getting married. Jake had actually helped me get my dress zipped, and we made it downstairs in ten minutes. He looked so sexy in his new black dress shirt and pants. But then, he looked hot in no clothes. I looked over at him and smiled. He took my hand and held it. We were sitting in the back and Mom was letting Seth drive. He had gotten his license and loved to drive. Dad had left him a little money, too, when he died. Mom was trying to make him save it for college, but I had the feeling he would spend it on a car.

Seth pulled up to the curb to let us out then he pulled away to park the car. Mom and I followed Jake into the church. He was our lookout for Charlie. We went to the room that Mom was going to use as a dressing room and I closed the door. She pulled her dress out of the bag and hung it up. I helped her get into her dress and then put her hair up for her while she did her make-up. We chatted a little about her and Charlie. She was glowing when she talked about him. It was kind of weird, but nice, too. When we were finished, I stepped back as she looked into the mirror. "You look beautiful, Mom," I told her in awe. She really did. She looked . . . happy.

She smiled and said, "Thank you, honey. " I handed her the bridal bouquet and picked up my smaller bouquet. "Are you ready?" I asked. She nodded and answered, "More than ready."

I opened the door and looked for Jake and Seth. Seth was lounging in a chair at the end of the hall, alone. "Seth!" I called out to him. He turned his head and got up and walked toward me. I tried to hide the panic in my voice as I asked, "Where's Jake?"

He smiled and said, "Chill, Leah. The guys and I talked yesterday and we got it covered. We are all on 'Jake Duty' today. I know you're worried about him running into Bella. So, right now he's with Jared, Embry and Quil. They were happy to volunteer. We've all missed you guys. A lot."

I smiled and said, "Thanks, little brother, for taking care of that."

"Sure. I'm worried about him, too. I was there, Leah. I felt his pain cut through me. It was brutal." He shuddered and went on. "We're all gonna stay close today. And, no sign of her, by the way."

"Hey! Does anyone care that I'm supposed to be getting married in five minutes? Let's go!" Mom said as she walked out to find us.

"Wow, Mom. You look really . . . nice." Seth looked kind of shocked to see Mom all dressed up. This dress was a little different than her usual jeans. It was a simple ivory dress that fell to just below the knee, and a halter neck. With her hair up and the fancy drop pearl earrings that used to be Grandma's, she did look really nice.

She smiled and said, "Well, thank you, son. Now, how about walking me down the aisle?"

The wedding was simple and beautiful. Charlie and Mom smiled at each other through the ceremony as Billy, as the best man, and I, as maid of honor, looked on. They were pronounced husband and wife and Charlie kissed Mom and then gave a fist pump and a "Yahoo!" Everyone cheered as they walked back down the short little aisle. As I turned, I automatically looked for Jake. He was sitting in the second row with Seth, Embry and Quil, who had little Claire. She looked so pretty all dressed up in a pink fluffy dress, sitting on Quil's lap. Man, he had a long time to wait for this day.

Jake smiled and winked as I walked by beside his dad. I winked back and all the guys started making smooch noises and shoving Jake. I rolled my eyes and wondered if they would ever really grow up.

The reception was being held at the rec center, which was just a short drive away. So, everyone piled into cars and headed that way. I was sitting in the back of Mom's car with Jake while Seth drove and Embry sat up front with him. Mom and Charlie rode in his embarrassingly decorated police cruiser. Jake and Seth had a little too much fun with the crepe paper and washable chalk.

I was so relieved that _she_ never showed. I had been dreading her arrival all day, and in typical Bella fashion, she disappointed. Charlie was sad that she didn't make it, but I wasn't. Jake had his arm around me in the car and I rested my head on his shoulder. The morning sickness had subsided, but I still got so tired. I really wished I could have a nap right now.

We arrived at the reception and Jake helped me from the car. I smiled as Seth and Embry flanked Jake and me. It was like having our own personal body guards. Inside, I went to make sure the caterer had the food ready and let them know that Mom and Charlie were on the way. The cake was set up and looked beautiful. The room was dark and decorated with those small white Christmas lights and candles on the tables. The food would be served buffet style and the caterers were busy setting that up.

Jake walked over and stole a carrot from the relish tray. "Jake!" I smacked his hand after he popped it into his mouth.

"Come on! I'm starving here," he whined.

"Yea, you're wasting away to nothing right before my eyes," I said sarcastically. He laughed and bent down to kiss me. It felt really good to not hide anymore. We had decided to let people think what they wanted to. Jake had been very touchy feely today. Apparently, he liked not hiding, too. We had not told anyone else about the baby yet. Jake wanted to tell his Dad and Rachel in person, and this would be the first chance we got to tell them. They had just come in, and I looked over at Jake and said, "Your dad and Rach are here. You want to tell them now, or wait awhile?"

"Let's tell them and get it over with. I'm kind of nervous about it," he said.

"Why? You did great with my mom. You had her eating out your hand," I said with a smile. "And believe me, that's not easy with Sue Clearwater."

"Don't you mean Sue Swan?" he pointed out.

_Man, that's weird_. "Uh, yea."

He took my hand to lead me over to his dad. Billy had wheeled up to a table and Paul was pulling out a chair for Rachel. _Wow – Paul acting like a gentleman. Never thought I would see that! _We approached the table and Jake said, "Hey, Dad," as he bent down to hug him. "You look pretty good, old man," he said with a grin.

"Don't get used to it, "Billy said grumpily. He did look nice in the black suit, white shirt and black bolo tie.

"Look at you, little brother. I know I'm your sister, so don't take this the wrong way, but you are looking hot!" Rachel told him as she pulled him in for a quick hug. She looked over at me and winked, and I laughed. Jake told me that she kept bugging him at Christmas to fess up that we were sleeping together, but he wouldn't. I knew she wouldn't be surprised at all at what we were about to say.

"Thanks, Rach. I think," Jake said. "Hey, Paul," he said as he pulled Paul in for a bro hug. "Good to see you, man." I think he actually meant that! Maybe that little talk with Seth did him some good, too.

Paul turned to me and said, "Whoa! Leah! You look . . . fiiiinnneee! I don't think I've ever seen you look like such a . . . girl!" Then he elbowed Jake.

"Paul! Stop it," Rachel scolded. I loved how he instantly looked like a little puppy that had just been smacked. "You look really pretty, Leah. That dark red suits you," Rachel said to me. I saw Paul's eyes travel down to my big boobs. I was showing a lot more cleavage than I was comfortable with. Mom had let it out as far as she could, but I still wished I had brought a sweater or something. I just glared at him and he winked and looked back at Rachel.

"Um, I need to talk to you guys for a sec. Is that OK?" Jake started. His dad nodded and Jake walked over to sit on the other side of him. I sat down next to Jake. "Dad, Leah and I, well . . . " I grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed it.

"You're dating! I knew it! I told you at Christmas that I could see that something was going on with you two," Rachel crowed.

"Well, you're partially right." He looked at me and took a deep breath then looked back at Billy. "Leah and I are going to have a baby. She's pregnant."

Rachel's mouth fell to the floor and Paul just sat there smiling at me. I just wanted to disappear under the table. Jake held my hand and looked at his dad. "Dad? Don't you have anything to say?" Billy said nothing and he showed no emotion on his face. Finally he asked, "Are you going to marry her?" _Oh shit. The marriage question._

I glanced over at Jake and saw the devastated look on his face. "Look, Dad. I just found out last night. She's only three months along and we haven't had much time to discuss our future plans."

"What's there to discuss? She's pregnant, you get married," Billy said evenly.

"I'll let you know, OK?" He shoved his chair back and stood up, dragging me with him. We walked out the door into the cold air and Jake turned to me and shouted, "He couldn't just be happy for me, could he?" He ran his hands through his hair, his classic frustration move. "It's always about responsibility with him. '_You should be living here on your land, Jacob. Protect your people, Jacob. Be the Alpha, Jacob. She's pregnant, get married, Jacob.'_ This is not HIS decision to make. It's MINE!"

"Um, just to make it clear, I'm the one that's pregnant here, so I kind of think I get a say in that decision," I told him.

Just then the door opened and Rachel came out. "Jake, please, don't be upset."

"What's up with him? Why does he always make me feel like I'm such a disappointment to him?"

"Well, let's see, Jake. You run off to Seattle and live with Leah, and you've been telling us all along that you two are 'just friends.' Now you drop the bombshell that you're having a baby? What did you expect?"

He ran his hand through his hair, again, and said, "I know. I hated lying to you. It's just . . . well, Leah and I decided to keep the fact that we were sleeping together just between us. We didn't feel it was anyone else's business, you know? And, we didn't think that Leah could have kids, so . . . this has kind of taken us by surprise, too. But what WE," he looked at me as he emphasized the 'we', "decide to do about it is our decision alone. No one else's. And he's going to have to accept whatever that is."

"I'm sure he will, Jake. Come back in and talk to him. He really, really misses you. You are his only son. You know you've always been special to him. Don't spend what little time you have here this weekend being mad at him," she pleaded.

He sighed and said, "I will. But, give me a little time to settle down, OK? I'll make my way back over in a little bit."

She nodded and smiled. "That's all I ask. So, I'm going to be an aunt. Pretty awesome." She turned to me and asked, "How are you feeling? Are you really sick?"

I shook my head and answered, "Not now. I was at first. I feel good except I still get really tired."

Rachel smiled. "Good. Well, I'll go back in now. I WILL talk to you later," she said directly to Jake.

"Yea, Yea. I got it, big sister." She shook her finger at him and then walked back inside.

He paced back and forth a couple of times then turned his gaze to me. He gathered me into his arms and said, "I'm sorry, Leah. Let's go back in and enjoy the party, OK?"

"Sure," I said. I turned to go and Jake stopped me. "Hey, you look beautiful today. Did I tell you that?" I felt myself melt all the way down onto the sidewalk. He took my face into his hands and kissed me gently on the lips. Then he smiled that Jake smile that I loved so much. "Come on. Let's par-tay!"

I laughed and asked, "Did you really just say, par-tay?" He opened the door for me to go in then he did this strange little dance by me and wiggled his butt at me. "Stop it!" I said as he turned and laughed at me.

The bride and groom arrived and the party began. We walked over to join Seth, Embry, Quil and Jared. Kim had taken Claire to the bathroom. It was fun hanging out with them again. Although, I wasn't much of a joiner before. I was, well, the pack bitch. Everyone avoided me like the plague. Now, they were actually including me in their conversations and teasing me like they did Jake. They were all having fun with the fact that Jake and I were dating now. I was actually starting to relax and have a good time.

We were all laughing at something stupid Jared just said when all of us, in unison, caught the stench. _No, please God, no. _Instantly, we tensed and I noticed that Embry and Quil moved closer to Jake as Seth and Jared flanked us. We looked toward the door just as Bella made her grand entrance. She was followed by Esme, Edward's fake mom. I watched for the others, but that was all. No Edward. No other Cullens. I realized that I had grabbed Jake's hand and I tightened my grip as I held my breath. I couldn't bring myself to look at Jake. I just prayed that his heart would still be intact after tonight, because I was really hoping that he would want to give it to me someday soon.

Jake POV:

Leah gripped my hand as tightly as Bella gripped my heart. Both of them squeezed until I couldn't breathe. Everything stopped and time stood still as Bella walked into the room. Only, this wasn't my Bella. This was a Bella I hardly recognized. She was wearing some designer dress that hugged her body with high heels. Her brown hair had a reddish glow and was perfectly done and hardly moved as she glided toward Charlie. She had always been somewhat pale, but now I could tell she was wearing make-up to tone down her new vampire complexion. Probably did that for Charlie's benefit. She walked up to him and hugged him and I watched closely to see how she would handle being so close to a warm human, even if it was her father. She seemed to be doing well. She hugged Sue, too and then she stepped aside as Esme greeted Charlie and Sue. _Where's Edward? Or Carlisle, or any of the rest of them? _

There was a moment where our eyes met across the room. I felt the old familiar pain tear through me as her gaze drew me to her. I started to take a step then I felt Leah squeeze my hand again and it was the lifeline I needed to pull me back. I tore my gaze from Bella and said to the guys, "Come on. Let's get some food." I put my arm around Leah and leaned over and kissed her cheek as I turned her toward the buffet table.

The guys surrounded me like the Secret Service or something. We moved to the buffet table and filled our plates. I wasn't sure that I would swallow one bite, but I wanted to keep up the illusion that I was handling this. We picked a table and sat down. The guys all dug in like they had been hungry for weeks instead of hours. I forgot what it was like to eat around werewolves! I glanced over to see Leah pick up her fork and push her food around, but not actually bring any of it to her mouth. I leaned toward her and whispered, "You're eating for two now, you know. Eat something for the baby, OK?"

"Yes, boss man." She stabbed some chicken with her fork and put a bite into her mouth then smiled at me sarcastically.

I patted her on the leg and said, "Good girl."

I tried to keep my gaze on my plate or on the guys at the table who were trying very hard to keep my attention. They were asking questions about my job and our apartment and I tried very hard to give them the correct answers, but my gaze kept turning to the other side of the room where Bella and Esme were sitting with Charlie. _Stop it! She is not your Bella anymore. She never was YOUR Bella anyway._ Leah put her hand on my leg and I covered it with mine. Leah was trying so hard to keep me grounded. To keep me with her and the baby. That's what I needed to concentrate on: the baby. All of a sudden, I found myself blurting out, "Leah's pregnant."

Conversation at the table came to a dead stop and all eyes turned to me. "Um, yea. We're having a baby," I said slowly. I glanced at Leah and saw her glaring at me. That old saying, "if looks could kill," came to mind.

"What? You and Leah? Are you fucking with us?" Embry asked.

"Uh, no, I think he already did that with Leah and that's why they are having a baby," Jared clarified.

Leah went completely red as everyone cracked up. I looked at her and quickly said, "Oh my God, Leah. I'm sorry."

She excused herself to go to the bathroom. I looked at Embry and Jared and said, "Nice. Thanks."

"Well you're the one that just blurted it out like that! Hell, I didn't even know you guys were dating. I thought you were just friends!" Embry said.

"I know. I don't know why I just said it like that. _She's_ making me crazy." I looked over at her table again.

Seth was sitting next to me and he put his hand on my shoulder. "We're all here for you, bro."

I looked around the table and looked at them. _My pack brothers. God, I missed them. They had been hovering around me all night, I realized now to protect me from this. From her. From the memories. I loved them all so much for being here for me after I deserted them. I didn't deserve their devotion._ I said, "Thanks, guys, for being here for me tonight. I know I don't deserve it after . . . after leaving you. I hated doing that, by the way. I never wanted to be Alpha. I really miss you guys. I hope this isn't getting you in trouble with Sam."

"Awwww, Jakey, we miss you, too," Jared spouted, along with some fake crying. I rolled my eyes and joined the guys in laugher.

I decided to get through this night the best I could then leave as early as we could. These clowns would help me to avoid her. I could do this. Especially with Leah by my side. I looked over and realized that she had been gone awhile. _Where is she? What's taking her so long to go to the bathroom?_

Leah POV:

I can't believe Jake just blurted it out like that! Then everyone staring at me. I was sitting in the ladies restroom in a stall, trying to hide. I was so embarrassed. I guess it didn't matter if everyone knew. They would all find out soon enough. It's not like I could hide it much longer. I had no idea how long I had been sitting here, crying. I took some toilet paper and dried my eyes and blew my nose. I couldn't sit in here all night. I finally got the courage to walk out of the stall and over to the sink to wash my hands. As I dried them, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Part of my hair had fallen out of the barrette I had used to clip it back and it was hanging in my face. My eyes were red and puffy from crying, my mascara had smeared and I had barbeque sauce on my chin_! Geez, I'm a fucking mess!_ I quickly wiped the barbeque sauce off with the paper towel I was using then tried to dab at the mascara. I saw my reflection again and there were those boobs! I yanked on my dress and tried to pull it up to hide them, but it was no use. It was no wonder Jake kept looking over at _her_ table.

_She comes waltzing in, fashionably late, wearing some designer dress, probably from Paris, with high heels, probably Italian, not a hair out of place. How can I compete with that? She's perfect. Perfectly disgusting. _My hatred for her was growing by the second_. _I knew one thing . . . I wasn't going to let her take Jake from me.

I finally left the restroom and walked back to the party. I saw Jake at Billy's table. He was sitting beside his dad and they were talking. _That's good. I think I'll let them talk awhile._ I walked back to the table with the pack and sat down. They all just looked at me. I said, "Yes, I'm pregnant. And I have big boobs. Get over it!" They all laughed and Embry said, "Really, Leah? I didn't notice." I just rolled my eyes and laughed with them. I actually was feeling hungry so I ate my dinner and went with Seth up to the buffet to get more.

"You OK, sis?"

"Yea, I'm fine. Just a little embarrassed, that's all. I'll get over it." He smiled and put some more au gratin potatoes on my plate for me. We walked back to the table and sat down. Embry scooted over to me to whisper, "Don't look, but Sam keeps staring over here at you. Maybe he's realized what he lost out on!" He smiled and winked.

I smiled and tried to glance over my shoulder at Sam. He and Emily had just walked in and I noticed Jake glance over and tense up. How would our two Alpha males do today in one room? Sam was staring at me. _What's with that? Unless . . . he just found out that I was pregnant. Shit. Now he will do the math and want to know if it's his. Great. Why was my life always such a mess? _He finally tore his gaze away from me and put his hand on Emily's back to lead her over to the buffet table.

I just went on eating and listening to the absurd conversation at the table. Quil and Embry were now arguing over who was better in a fist fight: Batman or Spiderman. "Come on, neither of them have super human strength. They are crafty, but if they had to fight, I think that Batman could kick Spiderman's ass! I mean Bruce Wayne is way more manly than Peter Parker," Embry said.

"Uh, yea, right! But you said 'Batman,' not Bruce Wayne. Spidey would have Batman wound up tight and hanging from the rafters," Quil argued.

Then Embry came back with, "But I also said 'fist fight.' If Spiderman had to use his fists WITHOUT the web, he would be rolled up in a fetal position begging Batman to call his mommy."

I couldn't take it anymore. "Really, guys? This is what is important to you? You are literally driving me crazy with this argument!"

Kim finally spoke up and said, "Amen, sister!" We all looked over at her and she smiled. Then we all laughed. Kim is so quiet that we sometimes forget she's there.

Seth brought me a glass of punch and a piece of cake. Rachel and Emily had cut the cake for Mom after she and Charlie had their pictures taken with it. He sat down and asked, "Didn't Jake come back here?"

I looked at him and answered, "No. He left Billy's table?" I looked over my shoulder and noticed he was gone. Then I noticed that _she _was gone, too. I stood up and told Seth I had to use the bathroom, so I'd take a look outside for Jake. He nodded and took a bite of cake.

I got up and made my way out of the room to see if he was outside. As I started for the door, someone grabbed my arm and said, "I need to talk to you." _Great. Sam._

I turned and said, "Hey, Sam. Can it wait? I need to find Jake."

"No, it can't wait." He led me down to the end of the hall near the restrooms where no one could overhear our conversation. "When were you going to tell me, Leah? How could you not tell me?"

I don't know why, but I played dumb. "Tell you about what?"

I saw the anger and frustration in his eyes. "About the baby! Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"

I sighed and said, "Because it's none of your business, that's why. This is my baby. Mine and Jake's."

"Really, Leah? Are you seriously going to pretend that there is no chance that this baby is mine? Like what we did on Thanksgiving didn't really happen?"

I closed my eyes and willed him to go away. I opened them. He was still there. "What we did on Thanksgiving, was so wrong, Sam, and stupid. This baby can't be yours. It just can't be, don't you get that? Are you going to leave Emily to help me raise this kid?" He slowly shook his head. "Yea, I didn't think so. Go home to your wife and have babies with her."

I turned to walk away and he hurried around in front of me. "I can't just leave this, Leah. This baby might be a piece of me and a piece of you. You know how I feel about you. I can't just walk away from that," he said, pleading with his eyes. I couldn't look at him anymore.

I turned and put my hand over my eyes. _Man, did I have a splitting headache. Could this night get any worse?_

Yes, it could. And it did.

Jake POV:

"Thanks, Dad. I'm sorry I blew up before. I guess this hasn't really sunk it yet, and I just need time to deal with it."

"I know, son. You'll figure it out. I have faith in you," Dad said with a smile as he patted me on the shoulder. "Has Leah accepted the bonding?"

"Yea, I think so. And, she told me yesterday that she loves me."

"Really? That's a good thing. Isn't it?"

I smiled at that. "Yea, it's a good thing. And I think that I maybe having those feelings for her, too. But, I just haven't been able to fully let go of . . . _her_ yet. But now that there's a baby involved, I think I have to let go and move on."

"Yes, you do, son," he said as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks, Dad, for the talk. But, I need some air. The smell is getting to me," I said as I glanced over at the table where Bella sat with Charlie. I scooted my chair back and got up to make my way outside.

_Ahhh, fresh air! _I walked around the side of the building and took a deep breath. The guys were doing a good job of watching over me, but I was feeling a little claustrophobic. I leaned against the building and crossed my arms over my chest. The pain was subsiding a little and I was feeling more my old self. I needed to be around the pack more. Living in Seattle was great. I really liked it there, but . . . for some reason, today, I was seeing what I was really missing. Did I want us to raise our baby in the city, or here in LaPush? This was our land, and our people. I wanted our baby to know that and to be a part of it. I guess I would have to talk to Leah about maybe moving back here someday. Especially if I was going to accept my responsibilities here. I knew one day, I would have to. I hated to think about it, but what if something happened to Dad? I would be the chief then and I would have to know how things worked around here. I needed Dad's help with that while he was still here to do it.

I straightened and tensed. I could smell her before I saw her.

"Hello, Jacob." She appeared suddenly, as if out of thin air. All those dreams, and nightmares, went flashing through my mind. _Is she really standing here before me or is this another cruel trick my mind loved to play?_ "I have missed you so much."

I closed my eyes. _Hold it together, Jake. Play it cool. _I tried to hide all the emotion I was feeling as I gave a cool look and said, "Really? I doubt that. You have everything you ever wanted, don't you? You're living the dream."

She smiled a dazzling smile. Not the old shy Bella smile I remember. "Yes, I do have everything." Then the smile faded as she added, "Too much of everything."

"Oh, poor Bella. Too many designer clothes, fast cars, trips to Europe, too much money. How do you stand it?"

"Come on, Jake. Don't be a jerk," she said.

"Don't be a jerk. Why the hell not?" _Uh-oh. Here comes the anger_. "I watched you die, Bella. I watched you waste away while that thing inside of you sucked the life from you and you let it! I gave you everything I had and never held back. NEVER! I fought for you right to the end when I tried to keep your heart beating! And I failed. And then I watched as he plunged that syringe into your heart and made you into . . . well, what you are today. I'm sorry, Bella, but for all the fucking pain I've suffered because of you, I think I deserve to be a jerk."

I turned to walk away and that's when she touched me. Her hand felt like ice. I could almost hear it sizzle as it touched my hot skin. "Don't go, Jacob. Please. Just . . . talk to me."

I looked into her new dull brown eyes, _wait brown? Oh yea, contacts. To cover the blood red ones for Charlie._ I found myself missing the chocolate brown that I used to see there. "Bella, I can't. OK? I just can't." I felt tears start to sting my eyes and I held them back. I would not humiliate myself by crying in front of her. "I've worked so hard to get over you and move on with my life. Please, just let me."

"With Leah?" she said in a tone that sounded just a little catty.

I looked at her curiously and said, "Yes, with Leah. We moved to Seattle right after you . . . she saved me that day. I wanted to die, but she made me get up and keep living."

She stared into my eyes then asked, "Do you love her?"

I snorted. "How is that your business?"

"You are my best friend, Jacob. I still care about you," she insisted. I watched her face as she said it and tried to find any emotion there. This new face didn't show it like the old one did.

"Best friend? Are you fucking kidding me?" I exploded. "How in the hell can you think I would still be your best friend? I went through hell, Bella! Didn't you hear the part where I told you I watched you die?"

"I'm so sorry I hurt you. I never meant to. You have to know that. I should never have asked you to stay with me all that time when I was pregnant. But I needed you, Jake. I still . . . need you."

I shot her a look. "Why? Why do you still need me?"

She hung her head and took a step closer to me then looked up into my eyes. "I think I made a really big mistake."

My eyes grew wide as I said, "What? What are you telling me, Bella?"

"This life. It's not what I thought it would be. Edward is so controlling. He and Alice plan and do everything for me. Look at the way I'm dressed! Does this look like something I would wear?"

"I got news for you . . . they've been doing that for a long time, only you would never listen to me when I tried to point it out. I told you that Edward was just better at the game than I was. He won, and I lost."

She gave me a strange far- away look and said, "That's funny. I think I'm the one that lost."

"But you have your precious baby. Remember? The one you drank blood for?" I reminded her.

"Yes, I do, but . . . she's not well. Carlisle says that she is growing too rapidly, and the human part of her is failing. She may not live long. That's why Edward and Carlisle stayed home . . . with her. I promised I wouldn't be away too long. Of course Rosalie controls how much time I get to spend with my own child . . . but . . ." her voice faded away and she looked off into the woods.

I closed my eyes and willed myself not to feel sorry for her. She fought tooth and nail for that baby. She might still be alive if it wasn't for that baby! "I'm sorry to hear that, Bella." I took a step back and hung my head.

She put her icy hand on my chest and said softly, "I should have chosen you, Jacob."

_What? Should have chosen_ . . . "Bella," I removed her hand from my chest and let it drop. "Don't do this. Please."

"I mean it, Jake. I know I can't take it back. You tried to warn me. You tried to fight for me and I was too stubborn to listen."

"What's that old saying? 'You made your bed, now lie in it.' "

She grabbed my arms and shook me. "Jake, look at me. Look at me like you used to! It's me, Bells! Please, Jake."

I looked at her, and tried hard to see her. But I was looking for chocolate brown eyes, and a nose with freckles on it and her shy smile that made me fall in love with her in the first place. It was gone. All gone.

"Jacob? Kiss me," she whispered as she put her icy lips on mine. This was crazy! All this time, I had begged for another chance with Bella. To kiss her one more time. And now, here she was, kissing ME, and I felt . . . _repulsed_. Her hard icy lips moved over mine as her hands clawed at my chest.

I put my hands on her arms and stepped back. "Bella, stop." She opened her eyes and looked at me. "You have a husband, now. Remember him? The one you loved enough to die for?" I shoved her back as she tried to cling to me. I couldn't believe I was rejecting HER.

Apparently, neither could she. She stared at me with her cold eyes and she spat out, "And you have Leah. Who's pregnant with your baby. Or is it? I hear she's been a naughty girl with Sam."

_What? How did she know Leah was pregnant? And Sam? _"I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Leah has only been with me."

"I overheard Leah and Sam talking just now. He's wondering if this baby is his because apparently they had a tryst of some kind on Thanksgiving. Don't let her trap you like that, Jacob. She's trying to pass off someone else's baby as yours."

_Why is she doing this? Why is she trying to hurt me like this? Because I rejected her? Is she lying, or telling the truth? Did Leah really have sex with Sam when she saw him on Thanksgiving? _I ran my hands through my hair trying to make sense of all of this.

"You don't want to believe it, but it's true. I promise you I would never hurt you like that again. Please, just kiss me and hold me. Make me feel human again!" She grabbed my arms in a vice-like grip and attacked me with her mouth. Those icy lips turned hard and crushed against mine then I heard, "Get your fucking bloodsucker lips off of him?" _Leah!_

I shoved Bella off of me and she turned to Leah and said, "Hello, Leah. You look . . . lovely."

"Shut up, bitch!" Leah yelled at her. She took a step toward Bella and slapped her hard across the face! I watched in awe as Bella's head snapped back to just stare at Leah. Apparently, she was as surprised as I was. "You want to tell me what the hell you were doing all over my boyfriend who also happens to be the father of my unborn baby?"

"Is he? Are you sure about that?" Bella asked sweetly.

I saw the fury in Leah and was afraid she would phase and hurt the baby. She started to lunge at Bella as I grabbed her and said, "Leah! The baby. You can't phase right now. Think of the baby!" She looked into my eyes and tried hard to catch her breath. Her body was shaking hard.

I had my arms around Leah as she looked over at Bella and yelled, "I hate you, you selfish bitch, for the way you've hurt Jake and Charlie. You had your chance with Jake and you blew it! You wanted your fucking bloodsucker life, and now that you got it, you want your human one back. Poor little, Bella. You always want the most what you can't have."

"Like you? You can't have Sam, so now your're trying to trap Jake by pretending this baby is his instead of Sam's?" Bella returned.

Leah strained against me to get to Bella. "Shut up! Shut the fuck up! I will kill you, I swear to God I will kill you!" Leah screamed at her.

"Leah, calm down now!" I commanded. She couldn't ignore the Alpha order. She instantly stopped shaking and her breathing came a little easier. She relaxed against me and I let up my hold a little.

Bella said, "I'm sorry, Jacob. I didn't mean to cause trouble. I just thought you deserved to know the truth." She looked into my eyes and said softly, "I will always love you. Don't ever forget that." Bella went to walk by us and Leah broke my hold and grabbed Bella from behind and had one arm around her neck and one arm over her head before I knew what was happening.

"I could snap it, right now, clean off, and throw a match on you and you'd be history. And, believe me, the world would be a much better place," Leah said into Bella's ear. I watched in horror, holding my breath until I heard Bella let out his horrible hiss.

I launched myself at Leah and pulled her away before Bella did anything to hurt her or the baby. Bella instantly went into a crouch, ready to defend herself. I knew she was still considered a newborn, and she would be deadly.

Leah didn't struggle this time. She stood there in front of me with my arms wrapped around her and she said sweetly, "Bye-bye, Bella. Have a nice eternity in Hell!" I could feel Leah shaking in my arms.

"Go Bella! Now!" I bellowed. Bella glared at Leah, then finally she turned and walked away. Leah leaned against me then went limp and I could hear her crying. I turned her and said, "Leah? Are you OK?" She was still shaking. "Leah! Calm down, honey. Breathe. Deep breaths."

She took some deep breaths and finally calmed herself. "Oh Jake. I could have hurt the baby! What was I thinking?"

"You weren't thinking. You were reacting."

"But if you wouldn't have been here . . . I was so close to phasing. So close," she said as a tear dripped from eyelash.

"Hey, listen to me." I looked her in the eye. "Leah? Is the baby OK? Do you feel any pain, or anything out of the ordinary?"

She put her hands over the baby and shook her head. "No. But I really wanted to kill her, Jake. I was so close. Please don't hate me," she said with a sob.

I pulled her to me. "It's alright. I don't hate you. Leah, it's over. You're alright." I stood there holding her as she cried, rubbing her back. I really thought she might have killed her if I hadn't been here. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Then I remembered what Bella said about Leah . . . and Sam. I didn't want to ask. I didn't want to know. But I knew I would have to ask. And then I did.

"Leah?" I pulled away to look at her. She wiped her eyes and looked back at me. "About what she said? About Sam?"

She closed her eyes and put her head down. _Shit. It's true._ "Damnit, Leah!" I let her go and turned my back to her. _How could she have sex with him and just forget to tell me? Especially now that there was a baby involved?_ I ran my hand through my hair and tried hard to calm down. I turned back to her and commanded, "Tell me, Leah. Now."

"On Thanksgiving, when I saw Sam, we were yelling at each other, and I was getting out all of those things I needed to say, just like I told you. And . . . it just . . . happened. It was very quick and when it was over, I knew right away that it was wrong and . . . very stupid. And I was so . . . I was so ashamed of myself." Her voice faded away and she was quiet. Then, "Jake, I didn't tell you at first because I just wanted to forget it happened. I felt like such a slut. But, it really made me realize that what I had with Sam was definitely over. I knew it because all those nights I laid awake wanting Sam so badly, and then, I had it and all I could think about was you. I didn't want Sam anymore. I wanted you. And I still do. I love you, Jake. And I'm so sorry that you had to find out about this. But I'm sure _she_ isn't. She couldn't WAIT to come running to you and tell you, to cause you more pain."

"Stop it!" I bellowed. "God, Leah, this has nothing to do with Bella. You're the one that fucked him, OK? It doesn't matter how I found out. What matters is YOU didn't tell me that I might not be the father of this baby. My God, do you have any idea how even just the thought that this kid might not be mine is killing me?" She was crying again and I could feel tears of anger and frustration sting at my own eyes. "You were so pissed at me for not telling you about the bonding thing. And you have been keeping this from me for three fucking months! And then I caught you with him, at Christmas. And you lied to me again, didn't you?"

"No!" she shouted. She reached out and grabbed my arms and said emphatically, "No, I did not lie to you then. I told you the truth. He sought me out, he came to me. I did not go there to meet him. He reminded me of a Christmas we had before, and I hugged him, then he kissed me, I shoved him away and told him to go home to Emily just as you showed up. That is the honest to God truth."

I turned and took a few steps away from her. My head was swimming. I had so many thoughts and emotions running around inside me. _Bella being here, and kissing me, and Leah with Sam, and the baby. _I didn't know what to think, what to believe. Even though I felt betrayed by Leah, I understood what she meant about not wanting Sam anymore. That's how I felt about Bella. Well, about _this_ Bella. I would always want my Bella.

I turned back to her and said, "I feel like such a fool. I've told you over and over that you can trust me. Why don't you?"

"Jake, I'm so sorry. You're right. I do need to trust you," she admitted. "I knew I needed to tell you, and I've been close so many times . . . then I would always chicken out. I hate myself for that. For being so selfish. I was just so afraid, of this . . . of you being so angry and so hurt." I stood there staring out at the woods. Leah was quiet for so long, I thought for a moment maybe she walked away. Then I heard, "Jake? Tell me about what I walked in on. You and . . . _her_?" I turned back and looked at her. "I know you're pissed at me and you should be, but are you OK?" she asked softly.

I took a deep breath then said, "At first, when she walked up to me, I had to wonder if this was one of my weird dreams. She says that she's Bella, but she doesn't look or act or smell like . . . _her._ She tells me that she's missed me then says that she made the wrong choice, and that she should have chosen me. I guess the baby that she gave her life for isn't doing well. Carlisle doesn't expect her to live long. That's why Edward and Carlisle didn't come with her." I paused to think about that. As angry as I was about her insisting on having that baby, even though it killed her, I guess, now, I could kind of understand. If Leah's baby was truly mine, I realized I would do anything to protect that baby.

I went on, "Then she kissed me. And instead of the thrill and excitement I felt when I first kissed her, all I felt was . . . repulsed. Her hard frozen lips . . . she's not Bella anymore." I looked down at my shoes and wished this day was over. "Look, I need to go. I can't take anymore." Then I remembered I didn't have my car. _Shit. Well, there's always the wolf mode of transportation._

"Yea, I'm exhausted. I'll ask Seth to take us home," she said.

"Leah? I'm not going home with you. I can't . . . be around you right now," I told her.

She looked at me with such fear in her eyes. "Jake, please. I need you to know how sorry I am about all of this. And I know this is your baby. It has to be. I mean, all those times we did it, and I only did it with Sam that one stupid time! I just feel that with the bonding thing and our bloodlines and all that . . . this is your baby. It has to be. I asked Carlisle about doing a test to be sure and he said that he can." _Oh, so that was the other test he mentioned this morning and Leah lied about. Another lie_. "Please, please, don't hate me. I couldn't take it if you did," she begged. She had her hand on my arm, just like Bella did just a few minutes ago. She was pleading with her eyes and I couldn't take it.

I picked up her hand and held it for a moment. "I don't hate you, Leah. Maybe I should, but I don't." I dropped her hand and added, "I just need some time and some space to work through all of this shit."

She turned away and said softy, "I know. I get that." I reached out instinctively to comfort her then thought better of it.

"Um, will you do me a favor?" She turned back and nodded as she sniffed and wiped the tears from her face. "Walk over here with me and take my clothes home with you? I'm going wolf for awhile."

She followed me over to the woods where I stripped off my shoes and socks. Then I unbuttoned my shirt and handed it to her and then my pants. She gathered them close to her. I slid off my boxers and tied them to my ankle then stood to look at her. She looked so sad and upset. And I surprised myself at how I could be so angry with her, yet I hated leaving her like this. But I had to. I leaned over and put a kiss on her forehead. "Hey, please take of yourself and the baby, OK?" She nodded slowly. "See you later," I said softly.

"I hope so," she said sadly. I turned and willed my body to phase and then I ran hard, as if I could run away from all of the thoughts and feelings that were chasing me.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Leah POV:

I watched him run into the woods as I stood there holding his clothes, fresh tears rolling down my face. I could smell her stink on his shirt. I had loved seeing Jake in this shirt, and now I just wanted to rip it to shreds. I hated her more than ever now. I wished I had the guts to snap her neck when I had the chance. But I couldn't do that to poor Charlie. I wiped the tears from my face and slowly made my way to Mom's car. I opened the door and threw Jake's clothes inside then slammed it shut. I walked back into the party and went straight to Seth. "I need to go home. Can you take me?"

He looked at me worriedly. "Are you sick? Is it the baby?"

I couldn't bring myself to tell him what really happened, so I said, "Sort of. I'm really, really tired." That wasn't a lie. I was suddenly exhausted.

He nodded and stood up. "I'm taking Leah home," he told the rest of the pack at the table.

"Where's Jake? Did you find him?" Embry asked.

"Yea, I found him. He, um, needed to go for a run," I told them, trying hard to hold back the tears that were threatening.

I saw the alarm in Embry's eyes. "Should we go after him?" They all looked quickly around to see if Bella was still here. I had seen her leave with Esme while Jake and I were still outside. "He talked to her, didn't he? Is he OK?"

"Yes, he did. And I think he'll be OK. Give him some time alone. But not too much," I added. Embry smiled and nodded.

I waved goodbye to them and walked over toward Mom and Charlie. "I'm sorry, Mom, but I am really tired. I need to go home."

She stood up and hugged me. "It's OK, honey. I understand. I remember those days."

I reached over and hugged Charlie. I was repulsed by the vampire stink on his jacket. "Hope you feel better, kiddo."

"Thanks. I will. Welcome to the family," I said with a smile.

He squeezed my shoulder and I walked toward the door. Seth and I made it to the car and I fell into the seat and closed the door. All of a sudden, I had no energy at all.

Seth started the car and turned out of the parking lot. "Leah? What happened? I can tell you've been crying. Did you and Jake have a fight?"

I looked over at him and said, "Yes. And . . . I almost killed Bella."

He swerved the car as he whipped his head to look at me. "Seth!" I shouted. "Watch it!"

He had the car under control again and he said, "Sorry. Are you shitting me?"

"No. I had her head in my hands and I could have snapped it clean off. And believe me, I really wanted to. But, I couldn't do that to Charlie. And I was really afraid of hurting my baby."

"God, Leah! Why would you do that? I know you don't like her, but . . . "

"Oh, I hate her, Seth. She had her lips and hands all over Jake tonight telling him that she made the wrong choice, and she wanted him back. That won't happen. Ever." I surprised myself at how angry I sounded.

"What? But, she loves Edward . . . and Reneesme. I don't get it."

"Yea, whatever. I guess that's not enough for her. She's always wanted both of them."

We drove the rest of the way in silence. He pulled up to the house and said, "Do you want me to stay here with you? I don't have to go back."

"No, that's OK. I'm just going to go straight to bed. I'm exhausted. Thanks for bringing me home."

"You're welcome. See you in the morning."

"Yep," I replied as I got out of the car. I left Jake's clothes in the back. I didn't want that smell anywhere around me. I slammed the door and walked up to the house. We had forgotten to leave a light on, so it was dark inside. I opened the door and walked in then closed it as Seth honked and drove away. My whole body was instantly on alert as I caught the stench. I flipped on the light and said, "What the hell are you doing in my mother's house?"

Bella was sitting in the chair, her legs crossed just like she was waiting for tea. "You mean my step-mother's house?"

The fury and rage tore through me as I strained to control it. _Think of the baby, think of the baby . . . _

"Leah, stop! I only came to talk. I promise. Please, don't hurt your baby." I focused on her face and saw that she truly meant me no harm. "If I had wanted to kill you, you'd already be dead."

I was panting, holding on to the stairway banister. I put my hand over the baby and took a few deep breaths. "Are you OK?" Bella asked. I nodded and stood up. Bella was sitting on the edge of the chair, so I walked around her and sat on the couch.

"What do we have to talk about?" I asked, not even trying to hide my anger.

"Jacob."

"You need to stay away from him. You've hurt him more than any man deserves," I told her angrily.

"I know."

"Do you? Do you really have any idea what he's been through? He gave you everything he had. He walked away from the pack for you! He became Alpha of his own pack, something he NEVER wanted to do! He stayed by you, in that house full of bloodsuckers, day after day, dying a little inside every day, FOR YOU! He watched you die, and it has haunted him every night since. I know, because I've been the one to wake him from the nightmares. He wanted to die, Bella. I picked him up and dragged him back into the land of the living. His heart was shredded, and I don't know if it will ever be in one piece again. But I pray every day that it will, because I love him, and I hope someday, he will be able to give it to me. And believe me, I will cherish it and never hurt him like you did."

"That was quite a little speech," she said. I hated that she showed no emotion. She truly was frozen.

"Whatever. What the hell do you want? I'm tired and I need to get some rest," I said impatiently.

"I told Jake tonight that I made the wrong choice. I think I knew on my honeymoon, but I wanted it so badly, that I . . ." her voice faded and she looked off like she was remembering something. "And then I found out I was pregnant and it was really too late. They all wanted me to abort my baby. Even Edward. Well, all of them but Rose." She gave me a twisted smile. "But I realized she was just using me to get something that she wanted so badly. Even now, she spends more time with the baby than I do." She looked down and gave her head a little shake. "Anyway, when Jacob came back, I was thrilled. Just to have him there with me. I could still feel how much he loved me. I wish . . . " she stopped and closed her eyes for a moment then she opened them to look at me. "It does no good to wish. I've found that wishes don't come true."

She stood up and walked around a little. Looking at things and touching them. "You were right about me, Leah. When you said earlier that 'I always want most what I can't have.' I kissed him tonight because I wanted to feel human again. You know, right before the fight with the newborns, I asked Jacob to kiss me. And he did. He never held anything back. And in that kiss he gave me everything he had and he forced me to feel what I felt for him. And I did, and that was the only real kiss I ever had. It was . . . beautiful and exciting and passionate. Something, I never had with Edward. He always held back. I know he didn't want to, but he had to because of . . . well, let's just say, I came home from my honeymoon with a lot of bruises. And now, well, now he just mopes around hating himself for getting me pregnant and . . . well, that's a whole different story." She walked back to the chair and perched on the end of it. "I do still love Jake, very much. But I know now, there is no hope. That chance is gone forever. That kiss tonight told me everything I needed to know. "

She turned and looked at me. "I want you to know, that I'm sorry for what I did tonight. Telling Jake about your conversation with Sam. Again, I hurt him without thinking. Seems to be a pattern with me." She smiled. "Look, Leah. I was eaten up by my jealousy of you. You now have everything I want. You have Jacob, and his baby. And now, you'll be a real human daughter to my dad. Something I miss every single day. I hate you for that. Just as much as you hate me. But we have to put an end to this right now. Because it isn't good for Jake, or your baby, or our parents, or either one of us. I'm finding that living with hate is, well, futile. It doesn't solve anything. It only makes life worse."

_Who is this freak sitting here with me? She admits she hates me, but she wants some kind of truce?_ She was waiting for me to say something, but what? I found myself feeling a little sorry for her, but only a little. She wasn't a victim. Well, maybe she was – of her own selfishness. She brought all this on herself. There was only one thing I really wanted to know. "Are you staying here in Forks, or are you leaving again?"

She smiled. "We are staying for awhile. It depends on Reneesme. Carlisle is treating her and . . . making her stronger, we hope. Then, we'll leave and go to Europe. I'm hoping it will be easier for me there. Too many memories here." She stood up and said, "I need to go. I need to get back to her."

I stood up and looked at her. "I'll take good care of him. I always have."

"Good. He deserves someone that will love him and always put him first. And, I really hope that this is his baby. He deserves that, too. How did that happen, by the way? I thought you hated Sam."

"No, I never hated Sam. I hated what he did to me- you know, imprinting on Emily and leaving me. We were home on Thanksgiving and I happened to run into Sam out in the woods, and we basically had it out. Sam and I had a very passionate relationship, and, well, it just happened. It was wrong and stupid and I regretted it as soon as it was over. And now, I hope that I don't have to live with that for the rest of my life. I don't want this baby to be a mistake. I never thought I could have babies, you know? Anyway, I just feel that this is Jake's baby. Maybe because I want it so much." _Why did I just tell her all of that? It was really none of her business._

She smiled. "Yes, I know that feeling, wanting something so badly. You are very lucky to have had such passion in your life, Leah. Something else for me to be envious of." She looked like she wanted to cry, but she couldn't. Suddenly she said, "Goodbye, Leah. Please . . . just make him happy."

"I will try, every day for the rest of my life." Then she walked to the door and opened it and was gone.

I sat down on the couch and wondered for a moment if that really happened or if I was asleep and dreaming. I leaned back and thought about our weird conversation. I guess it took guts for her to come here and say the things she did, even though I still wasn't sure why she did. I knew I still hated her. I probably always would. But, we were family now, and I guess she was right about the truce. We couldn't hurt our parents like that. I would have to resign myself to the fact that she was my step-sister and find some way to live with it. I was amazed to hear her say she was jealous of me! I could never imagine anyone being jealous of me. I had to admit that it gave me a little thrill to know that she was suffering from her decision. But she had a long time to suffer, and I guess I wouldn't really wish that on anyone. Even Bella.

The door opened and Seth came in. He smelled Bella immediately and he stopped and looked at me warily.

"It's OK. It was Bella and she's gone," I told him.

"What? Bella? Why was she here? You didn't kill her, did you?" he asked as he hurried over to me.

I laughed. "No, little brother, I didn't kill her. But I did have the strangest talk with her. She was waiting in here when you dropped me off. I was just wondering if I had dreamed it. But since the stink is still here, I guess it was real."

"What did she want?"

I spent a few minutes telling Seth everything Bella told me. He listened closely and I knew he felt bad for Edward. He and Edward had hit it off right away. After I finished, he looked at me and said, "I haven't been over for awhile. The last time I was there Nessie was doing better. Carlisle was looking into giving her human growth hormones. I guess I need to get over there again soon."

I wasn't surprised that he still went there. He would be a good doctor someday. He had that same caring attitude that Carlisle had. "Does Sam know you visit them?"

He glanced at me and said, "Um, I think he might, but he hasn't told me I can't. I don't think he trusts them though, and he probably doesn't like me going over there alone. But you've been there, Leah. You know they're not going to hurt me."

I suppose he was right. "Whatever, Seth. You know them better than I ever want to. But, I don't really like you going alone either. Sorry. Mom told me briefly today about their visit over there. Do you think Charlie is really that gullible to believe their story? About the baby?"

Seth contemplated for a moment then said, "It's not that he's gullible. He just loves her and misses her so much that he'll go along with whatever she says just to be with her."

"Hmmm, I guess."

He smiled at me. "I'm glad you talked to her and that you don't hate her anymore."

"Well, I didn't say that," I told him with a smile. "But, as long as she leaves Jake alone, I don't have a problem with her. What are you doing home anyway? I thought you were going back to the party?"

He shrugged. "Once you and Jake left, everyone else went home. So, I'm going to bed. Mom and Charlie are staying at his house tonight, and they want to see us tomorrow for brunch at ten. Then they leave for their cruise."

"OK. I'm going up, too." We both stood and headed up the stairs. He got to his room and he turned and said, "Good night, Leah. Wake me up at around 9:15, OK?"

"Yea. Good night, Seth." I closed my door and leaned against it then looked over at my double bed. I knew it would seem very large and empty without Jake. I picked my phone up off of the dresser and dialed his number. It went straight to voice mail. Then it dawned on me_. Of course it did, because his phone is still in his pants pocket in the back of my mom's car. Idiot._ Probably just as well. What could I say that he would want to hear right now?

I took a second to look at the picture of us on my phone that I took that day we went hiking. _Please let him find it in his heart to forgive me. _I know I fought the bond, but now, I hoped it was enough to hold us together.

I got myself out of the God-awful red dress that had imprisoned me all night and flung it into the corner, hoping to never wear it again. I undressed and pulled on a nightshirt and crawled into bed. I had always slept in the middle of this bed growing up. But I realized now I was lying on the left side only, just like at home in our bed. As I looked over at the empty right side of the bed, I ran my hand down the mattress and then pulled the extra pillow to me and held on as I let the tears flow.

Jake POV:

I was lying under a tree, still in wolf form. I had run for miles and finally just plopped down to think. It was still very strange for me to be in wolf form and have no voices in my head. No one else's thoughts or feelings, just my own. I remember how much I used to hate being a part of everyone's business. Feeling the pain between Sam and Leah, and seeing way too much of Sam and Emily. Quil's thoughts about little Claire, and how protective he felt about her. Embry and all the girls he was always chasing. Seth's loyalty to me, and how he was always wanting to help. Jared and Kim . . . another set of imprints. Enough said there. And then there was Paul. I had really tried to stay away from him in wolf form because I was terrified of seeing what really went on between him and my sister. I knew what it was like being around him before he imprinted on Rach. And I remember his not too pure thoughts about Leah.

_And then there was Leah_. Why? Damnit, why did she have to have sex with Sam? I guess it shouldn't really surprise me considering what she told me about their relationship. And knowing what she's like in bed. And, we weren't really dating then . . . _are we now?_ We were just friends who had decided to have sex. It wasn't that she had sex with Sam that was really bothering me. I think I could actually forgive that, even as much as I hated it. But keeping from me the fact that he could be the father of her baby . . . that was fucking killing me.

When I first realized that Leah was pregnant, I was terrified! How could I be a dad at 19? But now, I found myself thinking of that baby a lot, and wanting to protect it, and be there for it, and . . . love it. Because it was a part of me and a part of Leah. I was going to have to face the fact that I really did have feelings for her. That I had for awhile but I had been too scared to admit it. Even as I pissed as I was right now, I missed her terribly. All of a sudden I felt a longing, a pulling inside . . . almost primal when I thought about Leah and the baby. _Was that the bond that Dad talked about_? Why did this night have to go so wrong?

Which brought me to Bella. I still wasn't sure all of that really happened. Her coming to me and telling me she made the wrong choice? How many times had I told her that and she never listened to me! Bella was always stubborn, always needed to have her own way. Well, she had it now, and she would just have to live with it – forever. I tried very hard to feel sorry for her, and in a way, I did. But then, my anger would always bring me back. Those kisses . . . they really helped to open my eyes. My Bella was gone forever. She was never coming back. Never. This Bella was someone else entirely, and not anyone that I wanted to be with.

I knew who I wanted to be with. I wanted to be with Leah. And I would have to find a way for us to be together. _If only she hadn't lied to me._

My body automatically shifted into a crouch as I sensed another wolf approaching. I knew before I saw him who it was. I snarled as the black wolf entered the clearing and stared at me. I stood and faced him and tried to stay calm. It was still very strange to me not to hear him in my head. Sam and I had always gotten along, and now . . . I hated this feeling of wanting to dominate him. I felt a growl escape from me as we circled around each other for a moment then stopped and stared. I knew we had to talk. It was time to resolve this.

Since we couldn't talk like this, I phased into my human body and pulled my shorts on. "Sam, it's time to talk," I said to him.

He nodded his huge head and then phased before me. He pulled on his shorts and looked at me. "You wanna go first?" he asked.

Standing there looking at the smug look on his face, brought back that scene of him and Leah in the woods on Christmas night. And now that I knew he nailed her on Thanksgiving, I gave into the anger and said, "You son of a bitch!" as my arm swung out and my fist hit his face. I took him by surprise and knocked him on his ass. "Why did you have to have sex with her, huh? What, you have some sick fantasy of having both of them or something? I know what happened between you and Leah. I know that you might be the father of Leah's baby," I shouted angrily.

He looked up at me. "She tell you that?" he asked calmly. Too calmly.

"No. Actually, Bella did. She overheard your conversation tonight with Leah," I told him. "Damnit, Sam! How the hell could you do that to Emily?"

He sighed and shook his head. "I don't know. I fucked up, I know I did. I knew it as soon as it was over."

"Yea, you did. Does she know?" He just shook his head. _Fucking coward_. "Look, man, what's done is done. Leah's going to have a paternity test and then we'll know which one of us is the father. But I want you to know, I want it to be me."

He stood up and looked me in the eye and said, "As much as it pains me to say this, I want it to be you, too."

He caught me off guard with that. "Really? Why?"

"Because I'm married, Jake! I have a wife that I love. Do you think I really want to go to her and tell that I'm having a baby with Leah? That we lost control for one stupid moment in the woods, and now we have a kid? Hell, no, I don't! But, if this is my kid, I will take responsibility. I will help Leah raise it, and I will love it. I don't want you to think that I won't." He took a few steps away and looked out into the dark. "I loved her, Jake. And sometimes, it's hard to push those feelings away. That's what happened that day. We both got caught up in those old feelings, and we acted on them. But, we knew right away, after, it was wrong." My hands curled into fists and I was having a hard time not burying one of them into his face again. He turned back to me and said, "What we had is over, and that's it. I feel guilty every day for what I did to Emily. I haven't told her, and I hope I never have to. She doesn't deserve to be hurt like that. She's the one innocent in all this crazy imprinting bullshit."

I nodded. He was right about that. She didn't deserve that. Then he looked at me. "Do you love her, Jake? Do you love Leah?" he asked me.

I looked up at him. I wanted to shoot off a crack about it not being any of his business. But I found myself saying, "I think I might. I know that sounds stupid, but, Bella really fucked me up, you know? I've spent all this time chasing her . . . like chasing a dream. I don't know if I know how to love anymore."

"You said you talked to her tonight? Bella, I mean."

"Yea, I did. She's . . . not Bella anymore." I filled him on what happened between us, leaving out the part where Leah almost killed her. "I guess it was a good thing. I mean, it made me finally realize that Bella, my Bella, is gone forever." I took a moment to absorb that as I looked out into the dark. Then I turned back to Sam and said, "At least all of the shit that caused this break in the pack is over. With the baby being sick and all . . . "

"I'm sorry for my part in that. But I was doing what I felt I had to do to protect our people. Now that you are Alpha, you should understand that," Sam said. I did, but it didn't mean I had to like it or agree with it. "What are we going to do about this Alpha thing?" he asked. "Would you and Leah come back to the pack? To your family? I mean, it's your 'destiny' or whatever to be Alpha, we've always known that. I already feel the pull to you, dude. It's kind of freaking me out."

"Really?"

"Yea, I felt it as soon as I walked into that hall tonight. I know you didn't want it, but you're starting to accept it, aren't you?" he asked.

_Was I? I guess I was . . . I had been thinking about it quite a bit_. "Maybe, but I can't right now. I still live in Seattle, and now, with the baby . . . everything is such a mess."

"Look, things can stay the same for now. Take some time, but I have a feeling it won't be long. I want you to know that there won't be a fight over it. I've always known that you are the true Alpha. It's your gig, dude. But, I'll be your Beta and take care of things here, if you want. As long as Leah doesn't try to kick my ass over that." He smiled at that, and I had to laugh. She might. I never knew what Leah was going to do.

"I don't know, I guess," I said. I turned and took a few steps away and put my hands on my hips. "So it's really going to be that easy?" I turned back to him. "You just step aside?"

"It can be, if you want," he answered. No, I didn't want that. I didn't want the fucking job! And I still wanted to kick Sam's ass for being with Leah. But I had no choice really. Again.

I walked over to him and said, "OK."

"Hey, it's over." He stuck out his hand and said, "Welcome back, bro." I smiled and took it and he pulled me in for a 'bro' hug.

I stepped back and looked at him. "About Leah . . . stay away from her. If you find out this baby is yours, then you two can work that out. But either way, Leah is mine. Got it?"

He nodded silently. Then he said quietly, "Yea, I got it."

"Good. I'm beat. I'm going to head home and try to get some sleep. It's been one hell of a night," I told him.

"Yea, it has. Thanks for the shiner. I'm not sure how I'll explain this to Em."

"Well, it won't be there long, but you deserved it."

"Yea, I know I did." He touched his eye. It was already pretty swollen, but tomorrow it would be gone. "See you tomorrow? I think we should have a pack meeting, don't you?" he asked.

I smiled and agreed. We said goodbye then he stripped down and phased to run home. I stood there looking out into the dark woods for awhile just trying to chill. My hand actually hurt from hitting Sam. I smiled at that. _But it sure felt good to hit him. _I finally stripped my boxers off and tied them to my ankle. I took a few steps and phased and instead of running, I decided to just trot for awhile. As I was heading for my house, I realized, my car was at Leah's house. And the keys were inside the house, in Leah's bedroom, along with my bag of clothes. I figured by now everyone at home would be asleep and I didn't have my key. I could still get in my window like the old days, I guess, but . . .

Why not sleep in the woods tonight? It was a nice clear night, and I really wasn't in the mood to be around anyone right now. I still had more thinking to do. I trotted over to a nice mossy place under a tree and plopped down. It had been a long time since I slept in my wolf body. I settled in and put my head down on my paws and closed my eyes.

"_Jake? You out here? Jake!"_

I opened my eyes and looked around. The sun was up, and I squinted a little against the brightness. _Where the hell am I? Not home, not Dad's . . . oh yea wolf nap in the woods. Morning already?_

"_Jake? Where are you?"_ Embry was out looking for me. Wonder why?

I stretched and yawned. "_Yea? What do you want?"_

"_You left last night after the wedding and no one has seen you. Next thing I know, I'm feeling a shift in the almighty Alpha chain. So instead of me joining your pack, you joined mine. Figures."_

"_Yea, sorry about that."_

"_Did I miss the big fight?"_

"_No. Sam told me he always knew it was my fucking destiny. He said he wouldn't fight me over it. Kind of wish he would have."_

"_Why?"_

"_Long story. I'm hungry. Sam said something about us having a pack meeting today. Think I'll head over there and see if Emily will take pity on me and feed me."_

"_I'll meet you there."_

I took off for Sam and Emily's at a run. I knew I wanted to talk to Leah today, but I needed to get something to eat and clean up first. Although, I wasn't sure how I would do that since all of my stuff was at her house.

"_Why did you sleep in the woods anyway, and why aren't you with Leah? You two have a fight or something? Was it because of Bella?"_

So much for missing the voices in my head. _"I'll fill you in later, OK?"_

"_Yea, sure."_

I stopped outside Sam's and phased back. I pulled on my boxers then thought of walking into the house in front of Emily in my underwear. Well, it was better than nothing, I guess. Embry had caught up to me and phased back. He had already pulled on his shorts and he laughed when he saw me. "Nice underwear, dude!"

"It was the best I could do last night. I was all dressed up and I didn't have anything else."

"So, you went wolf when you left the party?"

I knew he wouldn't leave me alone until I told him everything. So, I tried to give him the condensed version of what happened. With Bella. Not with Leah. I knew she would kill me if anyone else found out that she slept with Sam.

"Dude. I can't believe she told you that. NOW she realizes she should have picked you? Shit."

"Yea. So, anyway, after that I ran into Sam and we settled our differences, and now I am the fucking Alpha of the pack. What a great night I had."

He laughed at that. "Come on, it won't be so bad. I think you'll get the hang of it."

"Whatever. Come on," I said as I walked toward the house.

We walked inside the open door and Emily called to us, "Hey guys. Smelled the cookies, didn't you?" Embry wasn't shy. He had a handful in like two seconds.

Emily walked over and stopped in front of me. "It's good to see you here again, Jacob." Then she hugged me. In my underwear! I tried to apologize for that and she laughed. "I've seen you boys half naked for so long, nothing phases me. No offense."

I laughed. "None taken."

"I'll be back," she said to us. I helped myself to a couple of cookies then she came back in and handed me a pair of Sam's shorts. I smiled my thanks and slipped them on.

She walked back into the kitchen and said, "Thanks for giving my husband a swollen eye, by the way. Want some coffee?"

"You punched Sam in the eye?" Embry asked excitedly. I just looked at him. "Uh, yea. Did I leave that part out?"

I looked over at Em and answered her, "Yes, please. Black. Sam told you about the punch in the eye?"

She poured me a cup and set it in front of me with a few cookies. "Not the details. He just said he deserved it. So, did he?"

"Yes." I wasn't giving her the details either. She stared at me to see if I would give anything away. When I didn't, she said, "OK. I'll leave it between you two." She smiled and went back to her baking. Embry elbowed me and I shrugged him off.

Sam came into the house and smacked me on the back. "Hey, I called a pack meeting. Everyone should be on their way." The swelling around his eye had already gone down, but it had turned a nice shade of purple.

_Shit. I was hoping to talk to Leah first_. I nodded and took a sip of coffee then popped another cookie in my mouth. Sam grabbed a couple of cookies and sat down at the table across from me. We talked a little about my life in Seattle while we waited for everyone to show up. Quill was the first to come in and he went straight to Embry. They looked at me and suddenly hit their knees and started bowing to me. "Hail our fearless leader," they said together as they bowed. Then they both dissolved into laughter.

"Get the fuck up," I growled at them and they got up and both touched me on the shoulder as they walked by in their acknowledgment that they accepted me as their leader. They sat down and grabbed at the cookies and I couldn't help but grin at them. I had missed them so much.

Jared and Paul came jogging in and joined the party. Paul took one look at Sam and said, "Whoa, dude! You piss Em off or what?"

Sam just glared at him and told him to "Shut the fuck up." Paul just laughed and elbowed Jared. Then they looked at me. I was worried about them. They were the closest to Sam. But Jared smiled and high-fived me then joined Embry and Quil in the fight for the cookies. Paul just stared at me. Finally he nodded and touched my shoulder as he went by to stand by the counter.

The only ones missing were Seth and Leah. I knew that Leah couldn't phase, so they would probably drive over. They showed up about ten minutes later. I stood as they came in and Seth made a bee line for me and grabbed me in a bro hug. "I'm so glad you're back. I missed you, bro."

I couldn't help but smile. "Yea, now I get to boss you around again. Could be fun." I shoved him and he joined in with the other clowns. I heard Embry snicker and call him a "fucking suck-up." Seth shoved him hard and said, "Jealous?" They shoved each other and I had to give my first order as I looked at them and said, "Knock it off." They quit and went back to fighting over cookies.

Leah walked in slowly and looked at me. I smiled at her and she finally gave me a smile. I walked over to her and said, "Hi."

"Hi. I brought your stuff. It's outside in your car. I drove us over in it," she explained softly. She held out my keys and I took them.

"Thanks.

"That's a nice shiner Sam is wearing," she pointed out.

I smiled. "Uh, yea. We talked last night about a couple of things."

"I take it one of them was me?"

I grinned. "Yes. Hence the shiner." She smiled and shook her head at that. Then she looked up at me and said softly, "Jake, I'm so sorry. If I could take it back, I would."

"I know, Leah. Let it go, OK?"

She nodded then asked, "You did it, didn't you? Seth could feel it on the way over. We're all one pack again and you're Alpha. And Sam just let you?"

I nodded. "Yea, I was kind of surprised. He told me he wouldn't fight me. That he always knew it was my destiny, or whatever. But, Leah, we have so much to talk about," I started.

Before I could say anything else, Sam called out, "Alright, listen up!" That was his way of calling the pack meeting to order. Leah and I made our way over to join everyone else. I pulled a chair out for Leah and she sat down, while I stood behind her. "I called you here today to let you all know that Jake and I talked last night and by now you all know why. Jake accepted Alpha and some of you left to follow him. It wasn't right to have two packs. It was never meant to be that way. I've always known that it was Jake's destiny to be our Alpha, and so, as of now, I am submitting to him and recognizing him as my Alpha." He looked at me and reached out and squeezed my shoulder. "He is allowing me to be his Beta for now to keep things running here until he can come back and take over." I was glad I couldn't see Leah's face right now. I was afraid she would be pretty pissed. Especially since I didn't get a chance to tell her first. He looked down at Leah and said, "Leah, I know you were Jake's Beta and I mean no disrespect to you. But we all know that in your condition, it would be hard for you to serve in that capacity right now. You need to take care of yourself and your baby." I could see how much he cared for her in his eyes as he talked. He better be more careful. If I could see it, so could everyone else. Especially Em.

I was holding my breath. I had no idea what she might say. "Well, yea. But it would have been nice to have a chance to make that decision. But I don't get to do that much around here – make my own decisions. Look, since I can't phase into my wolf body, I guess I can't really be an active member of the pack, so there's really no reason for me to be here." She pushed back her chair and stood to leave.

"Hey, that doesn't matter, Leah. This is your family. This is where you belong." We all turned our heads and looked at Paul. _What the hell? Paul?_

"Yea, you are a part of the elite of this tribe," added Jared.

"You have one of the strongest bloodlines," Quil pointed out.

"We want you here with us, Leah," Embry said with a smile.

"Come on, sis. I'm not your only brother here today," said Seth.

Sam looked at her and said, "I'm sorry, Leah. I didn't mean to hurt you." I knew that he meant that for more than just what he said today. "But, they're right. You belong here."

Finally it came to me. I reached out and put my hand on her shoulder as I said, "Leah, this is our family. "

She shook her head at all of us and said, "A few months ago, you all would have cheered if I said I didn't want to come back!" Everyone laughed at that. "I was such a bitch to all of you. And, I'm truly sorry for that." She looked around the table at all of our faces. "I don't know what else to say. I guess I'll come back, if nothing but to raise the IQ of the pack." I laughed at that. At least she kept her sense of humor. We all cheered and a huge smile spread across her face.

"OK, pipe down!" Sam called out. "Now that we have that settled, let's set out the patrol schedule." A group groan resonated throughout the room. I just smiled. _It's good to be home again._

Leah POV:

I would never have believed that they would want me back. I was such a bitch to all of them, and yet, they all made me feel like . . . family. It was amazing! But I was really shocked at Jake. He made this decision without a word to me. I was standing on the front porch of Sam's house looking out to the woods. The sun was shining and we were having one of those strange warm winter days. The temperature was supposed to reach 65 today. Not bad for February. I heard footsteps behind me then I heard, "How ya doin?"

I stayed where I was and said, "I'm not sure."

Jake walked over to stand beside me. "Leah, I wanted to tell you first. I'm sorry that this all happened so fast. I was hoping he would give me some to talk to you before he just blurted it out."

I finally looked at him. "So, you're coming back here, to live and to be Alpha."

He ran his hand through his hair in his signature frustration move. "No . . . I don't know. Look, Leah, we have a lot to talk about. I planned on sitting down with you when we got home tonight and going over all of this with you. We have a little wolf baby to think about now. I'm just trying to do what's right for him." She shot me a look. "Or her," I added.

I turned back to look out at the road. "So they all just accepted you, huh? Even Paul?"

"Yea, weird, huh?"

I had to smile at that. "Yea. But what's weirder is that they accepted me back! They all hated me. I can't believe they just welcomed me back to the pack like that."

He laughed. "Yea, I didn't think they would be happy to have me either, but they surprised me."

"Yea, right. You're everybody's favorite!" I told him as I rolled my eyes.

He just shook his head. "I don't know about that. I think Seth is the favorite."

"Yea, maybe you're right," I said with a smile. He laughed. _God, I loved that laugh. I loved everything about him. _I decided that maybe I should tell him about Bella's little visit last night. "Jake? When Seth took me home last night, Bella was waiting there for me."

"What? Are you alright? You didn't kill her did you?" he asked anxiously.

I had to laugh. "That's the first thing Seth asked when he came in the door and noticed the stink! Geez, all of a sudden I'm an assassin?"

He smiled then said, "Well, I did have to pull you off of her last night, Leah. It was pretty scary for a few seconds."

"I know. I'm sorry about that."

"What did she want?" he asked curiously.

"She said she just wanted to talk." As I told him everything Bella said to me, I watched his face run through several emotions. Anger, sadness, confusion. Then I ended by telling him about our truce. "I ended up feeling a little sorry for her. Knowing how jealous she is of me . . . kind of blew me away. And I guess, now that I'm pregnant, I can kind of understand . . . about the baby. Jake, I would do anything to protect this baby."

He looked at me and said, "Me, too." That gave me some hope that everything would be OK with us.

"Anyway, they will be here for awhile, for the baby, and then she said she would like to go to Europe. She said there are too many memories here."

"Yea, I get that," Jake said softly. Then he changed the subject by asking, "So, did your mom and Charlie leave yet?"

"Yes. We all ate brunch together this morning then they left for Seattle. They'll be gone until next Sunday." He nodded. I stepped to the edge of the porch then said, "Um, Jake?" He looked at me. "I called Carol this morning and told her I wouldn't be back for awhile. I've decided I'm going to stay here with Seth while Mom and Charlie are gone. So, I won't be going back with you tonight."

He squinted his eyes and looked at me. "Why, Leah? What made you decide that?"

"Maybe you don't remember last night? You just found out about me and . . . Sam? Although you two were pretty tight today, so I guess that shiner he's wearing means you forgave him. I guess I'm just hoping that with some time, you'll forgive me, too. Isn't that what you said last night? You needed some space?"

He put his head down so I couldn't see his face. _Was he mad? Disappointed? Would he miss me? _He finally looked up and said, "Leah, I know I said that, but I don't want space. We need to talk." I could see something, I wasn't sure what, in his eyes. "But if this is what you want . . . "

"It's not what I want, Jake," I said quickly. "You know what I want."

He gave me a look filled with frustration and asked, "What? What do you want, Leah?"

"You, Jake. I want you. All of you!" I cried out.

Neither of us moved. We looked into each other's eyes and I could see him fighting a battle inside. Then suddenly, he crossed the porch and swept me into his arms as his mouth covered mine. I felt a floodgate of emotion rush through me in that one kiss. It was glorious! My body was humming as I clung to him and savored every second as his lips moved with mine. _Was he finally ready to let go and just love me?_ And then, his lips left mine and he set me away from him. "Leah, I . . . I want to be with you. I really do. But . . . "

My heart fell. He was so close to it, but he couldn't quite let go. "It's OK, Jake. A little time might do us both good." He nodded. "I'll see ya," I said softly then I stepped off the porch and started the walk home.

"Leah!" He called. "Let me drive you home."

I turned and walked backward as I said, "Nope. It's a beautiful day, and I'm supposed to get some exercise for the baby. The fresh air will do me good." Then I turned and kept walking. I didn't want him to see my tears.

The first thing I did when I got home was call Carlisle and arrange to do the test first thing in the morning. We needed to know who the father of my baby was right now. Then I called Jake and Sam and told them both to be at the hospital tomorrow morning at eight. Jake said he would call Dan and tell him that he would need the morning off.

Then I baked cookies for Seth, which he appreciated, and made meat loaf for dinner, which he also appreciated. When we finished eating, Seth headed out on patrol and I cleaned the kitchen. After everything was cleaned and put away, I sat down in the living room and turned on the TV. _Great. Sponge Bob. _I smiled as I remembered arguing with Jake about how stupid this show was and how he always said it was "classic comedy." I put down the remote and left it on that channel. I missed him so much I was willing to watch _Sponge Bob_. _God, I'm pathetic._

Just then, there was a knock on the door. I got up to answer it and there stood Jake! "Hey," I said, trying to sound calm, even though my heart had suddenly started beating out of my chest.

He looked at me and said, "I can't seem to find . . . are you watching Sponge Bob?" _Busted._

Of course I nonchalantly said, "Oh, Seth left it on when he went out." He just laughed and said, "Yea, right. I told you it would grow on you," he commented as he walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. _Sure, come on in. _I closed the front door and walked over to ask, "Can't find what?" He looked at me strangely for a moment. "You started to say 'I can't seem to find' . . . find what?"

"Oh! My cell phone. It wasn't in the car or in my bag. Do you know where it is?"

I hit my forehead and said, "Yea. I left your good clothes on the backseat of Mom's car. I'll bet it's still in your pocket. I'll go get them." I turned and made my way out the door to the garage and opened the car door. I took out Jake's clothes, which still smelled like Bella, and brought them and his shoes into the house.

"I'm doing laundry tomorrow, so I'll throw these in with my stuff," I said as I threw the clothes on the floor just inside the laundry room." Then I walked into the living room and handed him his phone.

He smiled as he took it and said, "Thanks." He opened it to see if he had any messages. "Hmmm, missed call . . . from you. You tried to call me last night?"

"Yea, then I remembered you wouldn't have your phone. No pockets on a wolf body," I joked badly.

He smiled and asked, "What did you want?"

_To tell you how much I love you. How much I missed you, and how I would hate sleeping without you. _"Nothing important," I said.

He shrugged and stuck his phone into his jeans pocket. I just stood there staring at him. Finally he stood up and said, "Um, I guess I better go."

"Go where?" I asked.

"I don't know," he shrugged. He looked so sad. I knew he was pissed that I was sending him home without me. But I couldn't stand to see him sad about it.

"You don't have to go. You could stay here, with me, if you want," I suggested slowly. A slow smile spread over his face as I held out my hand and he took it.

"I thought you said we needed time apart," he said softly.

"Well, that can start tomorrow," I told him. I was still thinking about that kiss he gave me on Sam's porch. How it was filled with so much emotion. I knew we had things to work out, but right now, none of that mattered. I put my hands on his face and pulled it down to mine. "Kiss me, Jake," I whispered as I gazed into his eyes. Our lips touched, and as his moved over mine, I felt like my heart would burst! I loved him so much it hurt . . . my heart ached, but in such a different way than when Sam broke it. It ached to hear Jake say the words . . . I needed to know that he loved me.

I broke away and looked into his eyes. They were dark with desire. I knew he wanted me. . . he always wanted me. But, I was looking for something else. "Jake?" I said softly.

"Yes, Leah?" he asked breathlessly.

I looked into his eyes and I could see . . . longing, desire . . . maybe I was being stupid. I knew he cared about me. He had told me over and over. Why couldn't this be enough? I found myself stepping away. _What are you doing?_ my body screamed. My brain was taking over, and that's not always a good thing.

"I'm sorry. I do still need some time."

I could see his anger and confusion as he yelled, "What?"

"I know, I can't believe I'm saying this myself. But, I just think . . ."

He ran his hand through his hair and cut me off with, "What the hell is wrong with you? First you tell me we need time apart. Then you tell me that you want me, all of me, and yet, you still need time. So I come over here to get my phone, then you ask me to kiss you, and now we need time apart! Damnit, Leah, I can't fucking keep up here!"

"I know it doesn't make any sense. I do want you, but . . ." I sunk down onto the couch and put my head into my hands. "Just go, Jake. I can't do this anymore."

"Do what? I am so damn confused right now. I have no idea what's going on here." He sat down beside me and said, "Leah, just talk to me. Tell me what has you so upset."

_Shit. Why did he have to be so sweet?_ I wanted to scream at him, _"Just tell me you love me!" _but I didn't want to force him to say it. I wanted him to come to the conclusion himself, and then tell me. I looked up at him and smiled. "I don't know. Maybe it's the hormones making me crazy. My brain is like scrambled eggs right now."

He smiled at that. That sweet, sweet Jake smile that I loved so much. "Well, now that makes sense."

I rolled my eyes at him as he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his side. "I know, crazy pregnant woman," I said.

"Look, I know that yesterday was . . . well, it was fucked up." I smiled at that. It was. "And now, things are weird between us and I hate it. I want so badly to go back to Seattle and just pretend that yesterday never happened."

"Yea, I know. But it did happen, and now we have to grow up and deal with it. I've had weeks to try and deal with the fact that I fucked up and slept with Sam and now he might be the father of this baby. You just found out yesterday. And I'll never be able to apologize enough for that." He closed his eyes and I could just feel the hurt I caused him with that. "And then Bella comes back here telling you that she chose wrong and now she wants you? So what do you do? You go and take over the whole pack as the Alpha." I shook my head and added, "Jake, a lot of shit happened that we can't ignore."

"I know. I wish we could." He got quiet as he sat back on the couch and laid his head against the cushion. "But you know, at least one good thing came out of yesterday . . . I know that what I had with Bella . . . that's done. Over. She's just . . . someone I don't want to be with."

My heart soared! _Yes! Finally! It's about fucking time!_ "God, it is so good to hear you say that," I told him. He looked over at me and smiled. "Yea, it's good to say it. I'll always miss Bella . . . I can't help that. But, it's like I miss my mom. I loved her, but she's gone and she's never coming back."

I felt tears come to my eyes. I reached out and took his hand. He wound his fingers into mine and we just sat there quietly, lost in our own thoughts. He thumb was gently moving back and forth on mine and it was comforting . . . and sexy at the same time. I felt my resolve starting to weaken. He could turn me on so easily! But I needed to stay strong here. We did need some time on our own to think through all that happened.

Finally, Jake looked at me and said, "I'm going to go. You were right. We need some time to think through everything, and then . . . "

"And then?" I asked softly. He smiled. He leaned over and put a very gentle kiss on my lips. "And then, we will put it all behind us and move on. I hope."

"I want that, too. I really do." I smiled back at him and he said, "Don't do that. Don't smile at me like that or I won't have the strength to get up and leave."

I covered my mouth with my hand and he laughed. "Yea, like that helps. I can still see your smile in your eyes, and you know that's what always gets me." So I put my other hand over my eyes and he laughed again. "OK, OK, I'm going." He stood up and I stood up beside him. "I'm supposed to go out on patrol in a couple of hours anyway." He walked toward the door and I followed him.

He turned to me and asked, "Do you want me to pick you up in the morning to go to the hospital?"

"Sure. We have to be there by eight."

"OK. I'll be here." I nodded and we just stood there. Finally he put his hands on my upper arms and said, "I'll miss you."

I almost melted into the carpet right there. I couldn't get any words out as my throat tightened to try and hold back my tears. I just nodded and he pulled me into his arms. He held me close for a moment then he put a light kiss on my forehead and said, "I'll see you in the morning." Then he opened the door and walked out.

I stood there watching him go feeling like an absolute idiot. Why was I letting this bother me so much? I knew he cared about me, and now that he told me he was finally putting Bella in the past where she belonged, maybe he would realize how he really felt about me. He waved as he drove away and I waved back. Then I closed the door and as I let the tears finally fall, I wondered how I became such a weepy woman. I hoped it was just the hormones.

Seth came home from his patrol and we watched some TV together. I asked him if he had his homework done and he rolled his eyes at me. "What? You know you have to do well in this biology class to go onto to college to be a doctor. After this is chemistry and anatomy and . . ."

"Yea, yea, I get it. Geez, I'll get my homework." I smiled as he got up off of the couch and got his bookbag. We sat down and I helped him study for a quiz they were supposed to have tomorrow. Then we worked on Algebra II. Finally he closed his books and said, "That's it. I'm beat. Time for bed."

"Me, too." We turned off the lights and went up to bed. I closed my door and decided to open my window a little. It was stuffy in my room. I stood there by the window and looked out into the woods. Jake was out there somewhere on patrol. I found myself wishing I could be out there with him. Then I put my hand over the baby and felt a rush of love for this little one. "Oh how I miss your daddy," I whispered. In my mind, Jake was the father. It couldn't be any other way, and I wouldn't believe anything else until it was proven other wise.

I pulled myself away from the window and got undressed. I threw on a nightshirt and crawled into bed. I automatically shifted to my side of the bed and put my hand out to touch the other pillow. I fell asleep thinking of names for our baby.

I woke up in the middle of the night and Jake was snoring in my ear. "Mmm, Jake," I said as I tapped the heavy arm that was wound around me. "Baby you're snoring," I mumbled. Then I realized what I just said and opened my eyes. I rolled over to see Jake laying there on his side of the bed, dead to the world. I quickly looked around. I was still in my old room at Mom's house. _What's he doing here? How did he get in?_ Then I smiled and snuggled down next to him. I didn't really care how he got in or why. I was just happy he was here.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Leah POV:

I woke up to Jake nuzzling my neck and running his fingers very teasingly over my baby bump. I quickly responded to him and much later, we lay there trying to decide which one of us would cook breakfast. "I'll do it. But you have to eat eggs and bacon because that's all I know how to cook for breakfast," Jake told me.

"That's fine with me," I told him. He turned to get out of bed and I said, "Jake?" He looked back at me. "Um, I was very surprised to find you in bed with me. Not that I'm complaining," I added with a smile.

He smiled. "You're wondering why I came here last night? You know how hard it is for me to stay away from you."

I smiled and nodded. I did know that. He had never hidden that fact. He leaned over and kissed me on the lips and got out of bed and headed for the door.

"Uh, Jake?" He turned and said, "Yea, babe."

"You know we're not in our apartment. Seth might not appreciate your walking around naked."

"Oh, yea, right." He laughed and pulled on his shorts. "Can I walk around half naked?"

"Please do," I said with a grin. He flexed his muscles for me then winked and opened the door to go downstairs.

I stretched and enjoyed how marvelous I felt. It's amazing what a night of good sex can do for you. I crawled out of bed and grabbed some clean underwear and clothes and made my way to the bathroom to shower. I bathed quickly and dressed. I grabbed my hair brush and brushed the tangles out of my hair as I walked down the stairs. I could smell bacon. My favorite!

I walked into the kitchen and moved behind Jake to wrap my arms around his waist and put a kiss on his back. He had such a beautiful back. So strong. "You hungry?" he asked.

"Starving!" I answered. I let go and reached into the cupboard for a couple of plates. "You seen Seth yet?" I asked.

"Nope. I thought he'd wake up at the smell of bacon. Always works for me."

"Yea, I know," I smiled. He smiled back and took a plate out of my hand to pile eggs onto it. "Bacon is over there," he pointed to a plate lined with paper towel. I picked up a couple of pieces and added them to my plate then sat down at the table. He had already poured me a glass of orange juice so I picked up the glass and took a sip. I really missed my coffee. Mom didn't have any decaf. I would have to go to the store and pick some up.

Jake set his plate on the table and sat down next to me. Just then, Seth came into the kitchen. "I smell bacon," he said sleepily. Then he noticed Jake. "Why are you here?"

"Someone had to cook breakfast. Want some?" Jake answered. I snickered at that. Yea, that's why he was here.

"Yes," Seth answered as he plopped down into a chair and rubbed his eyes. He was not a morning person. Jake got him some breakfast and he dug in without another word. "You want a ride to school today?" Jake asked Seth as he took a bite of his bacon.

Seth looked up and said, "Yea, sure."

"Well, then eat up and get ready. We're leaving in 20 minutes." Jake took a big bite of his eggs as Seth just nodded. I ate my breakfast and finished just as Jake stood up and said, "I'm hitting the shower." He put his plate in the sink and headed upstairs.

Seth looked at me and said, "Will you be here when I get home from school?"

I wasn't sure now. "Um, I'm not sure. I think so, but I have a feeling Jake will try and talk me into going home with him." Seth nodded and drank the rest of his juice.

He nodded and said, "Well, if you're here, OK, if not, I'll be alright. You don't have to babysit me." He got up and said he needed to get dressed for school. I put all of our plates in the sink and decided I would have to do the dishes when I got back from the hospital.

I went and brushed my teeth and put my hair up into a messy bun. I grabbed my shoes and went downstairs just as Jake was putting his shoes on. "Seth! Let's go, dude!" he called out.

"Coming!" he called back. He came running downstairs with his book bag and we all made our way out to the Rabbit. Seth was telling us about this new girl he was thinking of asking out. "She's pretty cute. Embry told me we could double with him and this girl he's been chasing, um, Cindy, I think."

"Yea? Let me tell you from experience," Jake said, "that Embry will spend most of the night trying to figure out a way to get into her pants. He is the make out king."

Seth laughed as I rolled my eyes and said, "He's also a big talker."

"But maybe I'll pick up some techniques, huh?" Seth suggested.

"I hope not! You're only 16, Seth. You don't need to be having sex yet," I told him.

"Geez, Leah. I don't remember you asking my permission to have sex. I don't think I need yours."

I whipped around and looked at him. "Are you having sex, Seth?"

"Maybe I have and maybe I haven't. It's not really any of your business. Just like it wasn't mine when you decided to go and let Jake get you pregnant!"

"Seth!" Jake interjected. "That's enough." Seth sunk down in his seat and mumbled, "Sorry." Jake pulled up at the school and Seth jumped out and made his way to the door. Jake looked over at me and said, "He's not having sex, by the way."

"Oh yea? And how do you know?" I asked as he drove away from the school.

"Well, I could tell by how he said it, but I've also been inside his head. He's still a virgin, believe me."

I smiled at Jake. "OK, I'll take your word for it." Being inside my brother's head on that subject wasn't something I ever wanted to see.

We drove toward Forks and just before we crossed the border of the rez, Jake pulled over. "What?" I asked as he stopped.

He nodded toward the woods where Sam was walking out toward us. He walked up and got into the backseat of the car. "Morning," he said. He was wearing shorts and shoes and he slipped a t-shirt on as Jake pulled back onto the road. We drove pretty much in silence to the hospital. It was awkward all of us together in the car going to take a paternity test to see which one of them was the father of my baby. _God, I feel like such a skank_. You could cut the tension with a knife.

After Jake parked the car, we walked inside and headed toward the lab. Carlisle said he would meet us there. I gave my name at the window and the girl there opened the door and had us follow her down a hall and into a room. She said to wait there and she would page Dr. Cullen.

We all just stood there, awkwardly waiting. Finally Carlisle walked in and greeted us. He had me sit down on the exam table and he quickly explained the procedure he would be doing on me. He told us it would be fairly quick and painless, and we should have the results in about a week. Then he stepped out for a second and came back with a lab tech named Linda. "Linda will take Sam and Jacob to another room and swab their mouths for DNA while I perform the procedure here on you."

Jake stepped over to me and said, "Are you OK with this?" I nodded and then he kissed me quickly on the lips and left the room. Carlisle closed the door and said, "Alright, let's get started." He had a very nice ultrasound tech named Jane come in to run the ultrasound while Carlisle used the picture to collect the sample. I tried to keep my eyes on the screen, and ignore the needle that Carlisle was preparing. He said, "OK, Leah hold very still." I tried to relax and stay still. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and it was over fairly quickly.

Carlisle secured the sample and looked at the ultrasound. "Everything looks good, Leah. And, I only see one baby, not a litter," he added with a sly smile. I smiled at him as he added, "Jane will print out a picture for you to take with you. I'll run these tests as quickly as I can. I know you are in a hurry for the results." I nodded and thanked him.

"I'll see you again in a month," he said then he left. We already had an appointment scheduled for the end of March.

The tech handed me some wipes to help clean up the jelly she had spread all over my stomach for the ultrasound. She stepped out and told me I could go ahead and leave whenever I was ready. She also handed me a picture of my baby that she printed off for me to take home. Then she slipped out and closed the door. I laid there looking at the picture. _This is my baby. MY baby. _I put my hand over my belly and said, "Hey, little one. I'm glad you're healthy in there." Then I felt kind of silly so I stood up and got dressed.

I opened the door to find Sam standing there waiting on me, but no Jake. I looked down the hall as Sam said, "Jake got a phone call. I'll walk you out." I smiled and nodded. "Did it hurt at all?" he asked.

"No, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I got a picture! Look," I said as I handed him the picture.

"Wow. This is the baby? It doesn't look much like a baby."

I laughed. "Well, it's only a few weeks old." He looked up and smiled at me as he handed me the picture.

"Leah, I'm so sorry. I never imagined our lives would end up in such a mess. When we were in high school, and in love, life was so easy. I thought we'd be together forever."

I smiled. "Yea, me, too. It's taken me a long time to get this, but, this wasn't anyone's fault, really. It was out of our control. But, Sam, even though we thought we loved each other enough to spend our lives together, I realize that what I have now with Jake is so different. I did love you, Sam, and in a way, I guess I always will. You were my first, you know? But, the love I have for Jake is more mature, and all-consuming, like what you probably feel for Emily. Am I right?"

He took a moment then nodded and said, "Yea. I see what you're saying."

"So, we need to quit looking back and look at what we have now. I really love Jake and I hope with all my heart that this baby is his. But, if not, I will still know that this baby was conceived in love, even though it was probably not in the best place or the best time." He rolled his eyes and smiled a little. "We'll always be special to each other, but we have to keep it in perspective. We can be friends . . . especially if we share a child. We'll need to be friends to be good parents. But what happened between us has to stay in the past or we'll never be able to fully give ourselves to Emily and Jake."

"I know. I hate myself for what happened. For cheating on Emily like that. And yet," he closed his eyes and said quietly, "I can't help holding on to it because I know it will be the last time I'm ever with you like that." He opened his eyes and smiled. "Leah, it's hard not to miss that."

"I know, Sam. I miss you sometimes, too. But, I love Jake, and I want to give him everything I have."

"You both have been through hell. You both deserve to be happy."

"Hell yea, we do!" He laughed at that and so did I.

He put his hand on my back and we made our way out of the hospital to find Jake. He was on the phone and he smiled as he saw us then hung up. He hurried over and took me in his arms. "Are you OK?" he asked anxiously.

I stepped back and replied, "I'm fine. Here, look," I said as I handed him the picture.

"Wow. Look at that," he said in awe. He looked up at me and smiled. "It's just a tiny thing. And there's only one!" I rolled my eyes at him as he told Sam how I was afraid of having a whole litter of puppies or something. Of course Sam thought that was hilarious. Then he handed it back and said, "Ready to go?" I nodded and we all walked to the car and got inside. "Who was on the phone?" I asked.

"Oh, Dan. He wanted to know if I had changed the alternator on the Buick I was working on. I told him I was supposed to pick up the alternator this morning. He said he would pick it up and leave it for me to put on when I got back."

I nodded. Jake really loved working with Dan. I knew he would miss that job a lot if he moved back here. I thought about that as Jake drove us back home, dropping Sam off at the same spot where we had picked him up. I watched him run off into the woods, hoping this would be the last time he would have to lie to Em about where he was going.

"Did Carlisle say when he would have the results?" Jake asked.

"Just that he would get them as soon as he could. He knows we are in a hurry." He nodded. He pulled up at the house and parked the car. He turned off the engine and looked at me. "Are you still planning on staying here for the week?"

"I don't know, Jake. I kind of want to stay here with my brother. It would help us to spend some time together, and it might help you and me to spend some time apart."

"Leah, how can you think time apart will help us? I want to be with you. It kills me to be away from you. I couldn't even spend last night without you."

I smiled and reached out to touch his cheek. "I know. It hurts me, too. We talked about this last night. Let's take these few days to do some thinking and then when we get back together, we can talk everything out and make some decisions. Hopefully we will have the test results by then, too."

He closed his eyes and put his head back to rest it on the car seat. I felt bad, but I really believed it was the right thing to do. "Jake?"

He opened his eyes and turned to me. "Yea?"

"I am so sorry that I didn't tell you about Sam. I should have. But, then, it should never have happened in the first place. I'm very ashamed that I let it happen. I hope someday you can forgive me." He didn't say anything and I didn't really expect him to. "I'll miss you," I added.

He looked over at me and smiled. "Come here, you." He pulled me to him and held me close. "I'll miss you, too. Too much."

"I am so glad to hear that," I told him, trying to hold back the tears.

"I better go. I have a long drive ahead of me and no one to bug me all the way."

"Bug you? What do you mean by that, mister?" I smacked him on the arm.

He said with a chuckle, "Did I say bug? I meant _hug_. No one to _hug_ me!"

I gave him a dirty look and he hugged me again. "Come on, baby. Kiss me good bye. I promise I'll call you when I get home." _Home. I felt a knife go into my heart. Was I stupid to stay here and not go with him? _I kissed him and kissed him and kissed him. He finally pulled away and said, "I gotta go." I nodded and opened the door. "See ya on Saturday, OK?" he said as I moved to get out.

"Yep. I'll be here." He smiled and winked at me then I forced myself out of the car. He watched me walk to the door and go inside then he drove away. I leaned up against the door and let the loneliness surround me.

Jake was true to his word and he called later that day when he got to Dan's. It was a quick call, just to let me know he was there. I hung up the phone and wiped the tears from my eyes. I had to keep telling myself that I was the one that decided to stay here, not Jake. This would be the longest we had been away from each other in six months! I could do this. I would just have to stay busy.

So, I spent the rest of the week going through my room and getting rid of things I didn't want, and packing up those things I wanted to keep. Seth insisted on moving the boxes to the attic for me. He was really being sweet to me since he found out I was pregnant. We had never spent this much time together just him and me. It was really good for us to get to know each other better. I found I actually liked my brother!

I made some of his favorite foods, and helped him with his homework and we hung out and played cards at night like we used to when we were kids. Only he wasn't a little boy anymore, and it was kind of cool to talk to him as an equal. I talked to him about the pack one night and asked him if the guys were really OK with Jake as Alpha.

"Uh, yea. We all knew he was the real Alpha. It would have happened sooner or later."

"I know. I'm just not so sure he's ready yet," I told him. "But then, I'm not ready to be a mom yet and I don't have a choice in that."

Seth looked at me and said, "I can't believe you're going to be a mom. It's just so weird."

I laughed at that. "You're telling me!"

He got quiet for a minute as he dealt the cards then he said, "I'm not having sex, by the way. Not that it's any of your business."

I smiled at him. "I know it's not. I'm sorry I bugged you about it." He shrugged. "Seth, I know with this wolf thing, you had to grow up really quick. And your body is in overdrive right now and . . . "

"Leah, stop! I told you I wasn't having sex. I don't need 'The Talk.' I've talked to Jake about it already, OK? Yes, I want to have sex. God, I think about it all the time! But I'm not some horn dog who's out to nail every girl I see. Geez."

I had to laugh at that. "I know that. I guess I just want you to know that even though I'm a girl, I'm a wolf and I understand what you're going through, OK? Geez, look at me! I ended up pregnant! What does that tell ya?"

He threw down his cards. "It tells me that it's time to go to bed. Night, Leah."

I laughed at him and said, "Night, Seth." He touched my shoulder as he walked by and headed upstairs. As much as I missed Jake, I was really happy I stayed home. It was nice getting to know Seth, and I really needed the time to think about things.

I walked upstairs and laid down on my bed. I wondered how long we could stay in Seattle. I was due in August. I hoped we could stay there until the summer then I guess we could move back here before the baby was born. I had finally accepted the fact that Jake was Alpha and we would be moving home. I had to admit that I was proud of him. And I was proud to stand beside him. I closed my eyes and tried to feel Jake's arms around me.

Jake POV:

The apartment was very lonely without Leah. I wasn't as comfortable being alone as I thought I would be. I had never spent this much time alone except for the time I went wolf. But it was good for me, I think. I worked during the day, and in the evenings, I would take a run, shower and try to focus on some TV. But, I spent a lot of time thinking about Leah, and how I really felt about her. And the baby. Every night my body ached for Leah. I knew physically she was the woman for me. But I didn't want to cheat her emotionally. She deserved to be loved completely, and unconditionally. I felt I could do that . . . no, I knew I could do that if the baby proved to be mine. But if it was Sam's, could I get past that? I really needed to know before I saw her again.

And what about taking Alpha? I knew it was inevitable. I couldn't hide from it forever. So, I might as well suck it up and just do it. I hated the idea of giving up my job with Dan. And this apartment. And where would we live in LaPush? The tribe gave Sam his house when he became Alpha. Would that house be mine now? I couldn't do that to Sam and Emily. I would have to ask Dad about that. There was so much I would have to ask Dad about. I would have to sit on the tribal council and make decisions and take care of the pack . . . it was all so overwhelming!

By the middle of the week, I was so agitated. I had spent so much time thinking and trying to figure out what the hell I wanted that I finally gave up and went to bed that night out of complete frustration. I tossed and turned and punched my pillow to try and get comfortable. I finally fell into a fitful sleep that led to a disturbing dream. _Leah was standing in the woods with a white fog all around her. I walked toward her and she turned and I could see she was very pregnant. I smiled at her and waved, but she just stood there. I walked faster to get to her then suddenly Bella appeared with her big pregnant belly. I tried to get by her as I heard Leah scream. I looked at Leah and saw blood was pouring out of her everywhere, and I looked at Bella and blood was pouring out of her open stomach, where there was now no baby. I tried to run to Leah and I couldn't move. I kept trying, but my legs wouldn't move. Leah looked at me and screamed my name then dropped to the ground. "Noooo!" I screamed over and over . . . _

I bolted upright and found myself panting. I was wet from sweat, and my face was wet from tears. I looked over at Leah's pillow and then I picked it up and held it to my face and tried to find her scent. I needed her, God, I needed her. I reached for my phone. My hands were shaking so bad, I could hardly press the buttons.

"Hello?" she answered sleepily. I glanced at the clock and saw it was three thirty in the morning.

"Hey," I said. "I'm sorry, but . . .

"Jake? Are you OK?" she asked, her sleepy voice full of concern.

"I had a nightmare," I said quietly as I ran my hand through my hair.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I should be there for you."

"No, I'm alright. I just needed to hear your voice and, um . . . are you OK? Is the baby OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Is that what the dream was about?"

"Yea. Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called and woke you up." I was feeling stupid now for being such a baby.

"Yes, you should have. I'm always here for you, you know that." She paused and then she added softly, "I love you."

Then I heard her yawn. I smiled and said, "OK, go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you up. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"OK. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I closed the phone and sat there and stared at it. I realized that I was still holding her pillow. I put it to my face again and laid back and closed my eyes and thought about Leah. I smiled as I remembered her sitting on my chest that night in the woods, yelling at me to get out of the dirt and find a life. She was so determined to make me go on living. I owed her so much. But not just for that. She made me feel again! I thought of how excited I get at the end of the day when I'm walking up the stairs to our apartment because I know she'll be there. Flashes of Leah went through my mind . . _. her giggling on the swing . . . her beautiful smile . . . laying in bed with her black hair spread out around her head . . . teasing me about how stupid Sponge Bob is . . . her eyes dark with passion after we make love . . . how she holds me after I've had a nightmare . . . the look on her face when she told me that she wanted me, all of me, because she loved me. _

_God, Jake, you're such an ass. You've been in love with her for so long . . . you were just too fucking stupid to realize it!_ I wasn't sure how it happened, but I knew I was in love with her. I loved everything about her! And she was so giving . . . she always put me first. And I have just been taking and taking and taking, with very little giving. I didn't deserve her at all.

I rolled over and held her pillow close to me_. I love her. I love Leah_. I smiled and thought how I couldn't wait to tell her. I almost reached for the phone, but this was something that I needed to say to her face-to-face. I couldn't wait to see her face when I told her. I hoped she would forgive me for making her wait so long. I knew now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that what I felt for Leah was really love. And it was so different than what I had felt for Bella. This was a love that would last forever. I smiled at that thought, Leah and I growing old together . . . well, whenever we started aging again. I suddenly realized how much I wanted to marry her and have babies with . . . oh yea, the baby.

I sighed when I thought about the baby. _God, I want that baby to be mine. But what if it isn't?_ I thought hard about that. But no matter what solutions I tried to come up with, I still found myself with Leah. So that's that. Even if this baby is Sam's, Leah isn't. She is mine, and I will marry her and love this baby no matter what. I would make sure this bond would stick.

I fought the urge to get up and get in the car and drive to LaPush. I couldn't do that to Dan. I had a car that I had promised to finish first thing in the morning. But as soon as I could get away, I would. I needed to see her.

By Friday, I couldn't take it anymore. I was driving Dan crazy at work so he said to me, "Get the hell out of here, Jake, and get your girl. Come back on Monday with a smile on your face, boy!"

I flew out of the shop and stopped at home long enough to throw a few things into a bag then I hit the road to LaPush. I stopped in Forks at a flower shop and bought a dozen white roses and had the girl put them in a nice glass vase. Then I put them in the car and drove as fast as I could to LaPush.

I pulled up to the house and hoped that Leah was home. I grabbed the vase of flowers and walked up to the door. I knocked then held the flowers up in front of my face. I heard the door open and I said in a weird voice, "I have a delivery for Leah Clearwater."

"Wow, they're beautiful!" she cried. "Here, I'll take them." I lowered the vase and smiled at her. "Jake!" she squealed. I walked in and set the vase on the table by the door and then caught her as she launched herself into my arms. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't take one more minute away from you," I whispered into her ear. And then my lips were on hers and everything seemed so right. I scooped her up into my arms and carried her upstairs to her room. I walked in and kicked the door shut behind me and set her on her feet. I yanked my shirt over my head and threw it down then reached for hers. I had it off and our lips clashed together as I backed her up to the door. She ran her hands all over my shoulders and chest, as I worked at getting her bra off. It fell to the floor, so I ran my hands down to graze across her breasts and she sighed into my mouth. I kept at it for awhile until she was grinding against my leg. My hands found the zipper on her jeans and I jerked them over her hips. I moved my lips to Leah's throat and was kissing it as she worked on my zipper. She had it open and her hand around me as I bit into her shoulder. "God, Leah, I want you so bad. I've been hard all the way here from Forks just thinking about this." She leaned forward and nipped at my shoulder with her teeth as I ran my hand between her legs. She was so wet and I couldn't take it anymore. I reached around and grabbed her ass and hauled her up to straddle me, then I drove into her. She cried out, "Yes, Jake!" and I had her right there against the door. We both came hard and after, I looked at her and asked, "Are you OK? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

She smiled and said, "Oh Jake. That's the best I've felt in four days." And then we laughed.

"I have missed you so much, Leah."

"Me, too, Jake. I hate being away from you," she said softly as she took my face in her hands. She looked me in the eyes and then kissed me gently on the lips. I felt my heart swell and I knew then I was making the right decision. I lifted her and then set her on her feet. I stepped out of my jeans and led her over to the bed.

I got comfortable leaning up against the pillows and the headboard then put my arm out for her to sit next to me because I knew how much she liked that. She smiled and curled up and put her hand on my stomach. I turned to look at her. "What?" she asked curiously when I didn't say anything.

I gazed into her beautiful eyes and said simply, "I love you."

Her eyes flew open wide and she stuttered, "Wh – what?"

I smiled and took her hand. "Leah, I've been a complete ass. I'm not sure exactly how or when it happened, but I know I'm in love with you." She smiled and then put her hand over her mouth. "It kind of snuck up on me. Maybe it was when you picked me up out of the dirt that night and forced me to go on living. Or when you found us a great place to live, and bought me sheets to sleep on. Or all those nights you woke me up from those nightmares and stayed with me to make me feel safe." A tear rolled down her cheek and I wiped it away with my finger. "Or it could be that you're so beautiful and sexy that I can't keep my hands off of you. Although, I'm pretty sure it was the chili dogs that really sealed the deal." She laughed at that. "Leah, I love you so much and I never want to be without you ever again. No matter what."

"Are you sure I'm not dreaming? Is this for real?" I reached out and pinched her in the side. "Ow! Jake!"

I smiled at her. "You're not dreaming, Leah. This is all for real. I want you to know that I will be here, right beside you every day for the rest of your life."

She looked at me and asked seriously, "But the baby. What if . . . "

I put my finger over her lips to stop her talking. "I remember telling you when we first moved to Seattle that I had no idea how I would repay you for everything you had done for me. I knew I could pay you back the money, but it was how you gave of yourself. You gave me everything you had – your money, your friendship, your kindness, your body and your heart. You gave me so much and all I have been doing since that first day is taking. So this is my way of giving you what you deserve. I can't lie, Leah. I understand what happened between you and Sam. Doesn't mean I have to like it, and believe me, I don't. I don't ever want you to lie to me again – ever. And, I want this baby to be mine, very badly. But if it isn't, well, this baby is a part of you. I will still love this baby and protect it and take care of it. And we can have more babies. Lots and lots of babies," I finished with a smile. The tears were really flowing now.

She just shook her head and looked at me. "I don't deserve that, Jake. It's too much."

"No, it's not, Leah. I have finally realized that Bella really never had my heart. I only thought she did. I tried over and over to give it to her, but she didn't want it. It's yours, Leah. It's been yours for quite awhile only I was too stupid to realize it. I'm giving you all of me, Leah. Just take it."

She couldn't speak, so she just nodded. I pulled her to me and held her as I whispered, "I love you. I can't believe how awesome it is to finally say that." I pulled back to look at her and smile. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!"

She laughed and wound her arms around my neck. "OK, I get it! I love you, too, Jake, so much. With all my heart. Now show me," she whispered as she put her lips on mine. So I did, happily.

When I woke up in the morning, Leah was gone. I looked around and stretched. I glanced over at the clock. It was only eight. I knew we had a lot to talk about today. I sat up and was about to get out of bed when the bedroom door opened and Leah came in wrapped in a towel, her wet hair clinging to her shoulders. "Hey, sleepy head," she said softly as she made her way over to the bed. She leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. I reached out and grabbed her and pulled her down onto the bed.

"Hey!" she squealed. I smiled and kissed her lips, making sure she knew I had been thinking about her. I pulled back and said, "That's a 'Good Morning' kiss. You better learn that, woman."

"Woman? Did you just call me 'woman'?" She gave me a fake angry look. "You better re-think that, Jacob Black, if you EVER want to spend another night like the one you just had."

I laughed and held up my hands in surrender. "I give! I am so sorry. I promise never to call you 'woman' again!" She laughed and kissed me. "Damn straight," she said. "I'm feeling pancakes this morning. Sound good?"

"Sure, sure," I said. She got up and pulled out a clean pair of jeans and a loose t-shirt. She put on the jeans and struggled to pull the zipper up. "These fit last week! I can't believe how fast I'm getting fat."

"Honey, you're not fat. You're pregnant." I got out of bed and walked over to her. "Come here," I said as I drew her to me. She laid her head on my shoulder and sighed as I kissed her cheek. Then she walked over to the drawer and pulled out a pair of sweats. I smiled and said, "That's my girl. Just be comfortable." She rolled her eyes and pulled on the sweatpants.

"I'm heading down to make breakfast," she said.

"OK. I'll shower and be right down." She smiled and kissed me then left the room. I walked to the bathroom and showered and then walked back to the bedroom and pulled on my boxers and jeans. I purposely left my shirt off because I knew how it drove Leah crazy. I trotted down the stairs and into the kitchen to find Leah sitting at the table with her phone in her hand. I looked around . . . no pancakes. She just sat there, staring at the phone. "Leah?" I touched her on the shoulder and she jumped. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She looked up at me and said, "That was Carlisle. He, uh, he has the test results."

_Oh God. The paternity test. She looked upset. Please don't let it be Sam's_. I sat down beside her and said, "Just tell me."

I saw tears in her eyes as she said, "The baby is yours, Jake." Then she smiled. "This baby is yours." I jumped up and hollered "Whoo hoo!" as she laughed. I pulled her out of the chair and held her close. "I knew it, baby, I just knew it," I said to her.

"I was just so scared when I answered the phone and Carlisle told me had the results. All of a sudden I was just paralyzed with fear. I had no idea what I was going to do if he said this baby was Sam's."

"It's over now," I told her. I rubbed her back and felt her relax.

"I need to talk to Sam. I need to tell him about the results." I let her go and nodded.

"I think I'll walk over there. I need some fresh air. Is that OK?"

I smiled. "Sure, sure." She kissed me again then went upstairs to brush her teeth and find some shoes. I stood there looking out the window and thought about the baby. _This baby is mine. I'm going to be a dad. Oh God, I'm going to be a dad! Dad, Alpha, tribal leader. It's a lot to deal with. I hope I can handle it all._

"OK, I'm going. I won't be gone long," Leah said as she came back into the kitchen. "Sorry about the pancakes. Tomorrow morning, I promise," she said with a smile.

"I'll hold you to that," I told her. I pulled her to me and kissed her long and slow. I wanted her to take that feeling with her when she went to talk to Sam. I guess a tiny part of me was a little jealous of her being alone with him in the woods. That didn't go so well last time.

She pulled away and said, "Wow. What was that for?"

"I just want you to remember when you walk out that door how much I love you."

She smiled and touched my lips with her finger. "I'll remember, I promise." Then she turned and walked out the door.

Leah POV:

I made my way through the woods towards Sam's. I wasn't sure if he would be out as wolf, or home as Sam. I pulled out my phone and called him. Thankfully, he answered the phone. "Hey, Sam, it's Leah. Could you meet me out back of your house in like five minutes? Thanks." I closed the phone and stuffed it back into my pocket. Maybe I should have just told him over the phone, but I really felt like this was news that should be delivered in person.

I found him waiting for me in the clearing behind his house. He was pacing back and forth, wearing just his usual pair of jean cut-offs. "Hey, Sam."

He looked up at me as I walked to him. "You got the results, didn't you?" he asked right away.

"Yes." I stopped just in front of him and said, "Jake is the father." I watched his face go through many emotions all at once: relief, anger, sadness.

Finally he said, "Good. That's good." Then he turned away from me and just stood there with his hands on his hips.

I touched his shoulder and said, "Sam? Are you OK?"

He turned back and said, "I don't know. Yea, I . . . I'm just so damned sick and tired of being torn in half, Leah. I didn't want this to be my baby. How could I go to Emily and tell her that I was having a kid with you? But, then, a part of me wanted this baby to be mine. It's something you and I always talked about and dreamed about, remember?" Then he reached out took my hand as he said, "Remember, Sammy?"

"I remember," I said with a smile. Suddenly I was thrown back in time to a day on the beach with Sam.

_We were sitting on the beach on a bright, sunny warm day. Sam laid down and put his head on my lap. He looked up at me and for some reason asked me, "Do you want to have kids someday, Leah?" I laughed and said, "Of course I do! I want a little boy that looks just like you and we'll call him Sam, Jr."_

"_You would do that to a kid? Call him Jr.?" Sam said._

"_No, we would call him Sammy." He smiled up at me and said, "I like that. OK, we'll do that."_

"_Just like that, huh?" I said. He sat up and took my face in his hands and kissed me then said, "Don't you know how much I love you? I want you to have whatever you want."_

"I still want you to have whatever you want, Leah," he said to bring me back from the past. "And now, you want Jake. I know you love him. Although it kills me to see you with him."

"Payback is hell, isn't it?"

He smiled back and said, "Yea, it is."

"Sam, now you can let me go. You can't be torn between us like this. Emily doesn't deserve that. And neither do you."

He looked into my eyes and I could how much he still loved me. I had to close my eyes for a second because I couldn't stand to see it. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. For a moment, I gave in and let him hold me close. I savored the feeling of being held in his arms one more time. "Sam, I'll always care about you. You were my first love, and you'll always be special to me because of that. But, that's all it can ever be."

"I know, Leah. I know." Finally he drew back to look at me. "Can I kiss you goodbye?" he whispered. I nodded slightly. He covered my lips with his and moved them gently over mine. He lingered for a moment then pulled back to rest his forehead on mine. "I'll always love you, Leah. But, I will let you go."

I smiled. "Me, too, Sam." He finally let me go and I turned to walk away.

"Leah?" I turned to look at him. "Be happy, OK?"

"I am. I really am." Then I turned and walked toward home. Toward Jake.

I walked through the back door to the smell of coffee. I poured myself a cup and walked into the living room to find Jake and Seth, each with a bowl of cereal, sitting on the couch watching _Sponge Bob_. I smiled. It was so cute. "Is that show on 24/7 or what?" I said as I sat down in the chair and sipped my coffee.

Jake didn't even take his eyes from the screen as he said, "This is my favorite episode. It's the one where he goes to his Grandma's house."

I rolled my eyes. This was bad. Even I knew that episode! How many times had he made me watch it already? I sat there with them and when it was over, Seth looked over and said, "We need more milk."

"Really? What did you want me to do about it? Go out and milk the cow?" I answered sarcastically. Jake laughed at that but Seth just glared at me.

"I just thought you might be going to the store later or something. Geez," he said as he got up and stalked to the kitchen.

"What's with him?" I asked.

"Date didn't go so well," Jake answered as he set his bowl onto the coffee table. Oh yea. Seth doubled with Embry last night. I had forgotten.

"What happened?" I asked. Jake glanced over his shoulder to make sure that Seth was still in the kitchen then he said quietly, "They went to a movie then after, Embry drove them to one of his famous make out spots. Seth's girl wasn't into that, so they had to sit there and watch Embry and his girl make out for like 30 minutes before he could convince him to drive them home." I laughed. Poor Seth. "I tried to warn him. I've been there, done that."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yea. I let him talk me into going out with some girl's cousin who was visiting here. Embry wanted to take this girl out, but she couldn't go unless her cousin went to. So, like an ass, I went. And same thing. This cousin said like two words all night, and so we ended up watching Embry and this girl make out until I finally told him I was getting out and walking home."

"Did you?"

"Yep. I wasn't putting up with that shit." I laughed at that. "He never asked me again and I was OK with that."

Seth came back in with the box of cereal. He sat down and started eating cereal out of the box. I just looked at him and he looked at me then at Jake. Then he rolled his eyes and said to Jake, "You had to tell her, didn't you?"

"She asked, dude," Jake replied.

"I'm sorry, Seth, that it didn't go well. Did you like this girl? Is she pissed at you?"

"Yea, I like her, and yes, she is pissed at me. I'm going to kill Embry when I catch him," he said angrily.

"Aw, come on, Seth," Jake said sympathetically. "Embry just got lucky and you didn't. You can't be pissed at him for that. You just need your own set of wheels. Then you can decide when and where to make out."

I gave Jake a look. He smiled and shrugged at me.

"I wish. I have some money saved up, but Mom wants me to save it for college."

"Tell you what, bro. You can borrow the Rabbit tonight. Ask her out again."

Seth looked at Jake like he had just offered him a million bucks. "For real?" he asked.

"Sure, sure." I smiled at Jake. He was so good to Seth.

"Fucking awesome, Jake! I'll go call her," Seth said as he jumped off the couch and headed for the kitchen.

I looked at him and shook my head. "What? I feel bad for the kid. He just wanted a little kissing. And believe me, no one should have to sit and watch Embry make out. I hope he kept it at least PG-13 last night."

I got up and moved to sit beside Jake. "You're an OK guy, you know that?"

He put his arm around me and said, "Yea? You think so?"

I laid my head on his shoulder and answered, "Yea, I really think so."

Seth came bounding back into the room and said, "She said yes! I'm picking her up at six!" Jake held up his hand and Seth slapped it. Then he ran upstairs.

"So, now we are stuck at home tonight with no car. What a shame. Whatever will we do with ourselves?" I asked. And in two seconds, Jake had laid me back and was on top of me. I laughed as he said, "I'm sure we'll think of something." And then his lips came down on mine and I thought of many, many things we could do.

He pulled back and sat up. "So, that will give you something to think about as I go out for awhile."

"Where are you going?" I asked as I sat up beside him and pulled my hair out of my face.

"Running patrol with Embry and Quil."

"Oh. OK." I put my head down and tried not to be one of those clingy girlfriends who wants her boyfriend to spend all of his time with her. Especially when she hasn't seen him in four days and he finally got around to telling her that he loves her just last night!

"Leah?" he said as he tilted my chin up to look at him. "I won't be gone all day, OK? I'm running a four hour patrol with them then I'll be back to spend the rest of the day, and night, with you." Then he smiled and I felt myself melt.

"Sounds good," I said with a smile. Then he leaned in and put a very gentle kiss on my lips.

"Do me a favor while I'm gone, will ya?" he asked.

"Sure, what?"

"Take another shower and get all of Sam's scent off of you. It's hard to kiss you with his scent in my nose."

"Oh God, Jake, I'm sorry. He hugged me and . . . "

"I don't want to know. I just don't want to smell it on you again." I could see the pain in his eyes as he said that. I nodded and he got up and walked out the door. I would make sure I never saw that in his eyes ever again.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews so far! I'm glad to see that everyone has been happy that the baby is Jake's. I toyed with the idea of making it Sam's to create a lot of angst, but I'm just not that good at writing angst. I need to work on that. I guess I just want to see Jake and Leah happy. _

CHAPTER 13

Jake POV:

I was getting more and more used to running as a wolf again. I was really feeling torn in two. Sam was right . . . I was starting to accept being Alpha over all of them. I really cared about every member of the pack . . . even Paul, and our land and our people. I knew that I really needed to spend some time with Dad. I needed to talk with him about all of my responsibilities.

"_Geez, Jake, sounds fucking boring to me. Glad you're the Alpha and not me!"_

"_Yea, Embry? Me, too. All you think about is girls. Thanks for ruining Seth's date last night, by the way."_

"_What a fucking baby. He didn't even try to make a move."_

"_He's only 16, give him a break."_

"_Oh come on. By the time I was 16, I'd made out with at least 20 girls."_

"_You are so full of shit," _Quil finally added to the conversation.

"_Oh yea? At least I can make out with my girl instead of having tea parties with her!"_

Quil jumped at Embry and had him on the ground with his teeth on him in a split second. I let him get in a couple of bites before I ordered them to knock it off and remember we were on patrol. They both got up and fell in line as we trotted through the woods.

"_So, you gonna marry Leah?" _Quil wanted to know.

"_Yea, eventually. I haven't asked her yet though."_

"_What are you waiting for? The kid to be born?"_

I don't know. What was I waiting for? _"We have a lot of things to talk over and decisions to make. I guess I kind of want to talk to her about everything, you know?"_

"_You got it bad for her, don't you?"_ Embry kicked in.

"_Yea, I really do. When we moved away, I realized how much I never knew about her. Once she was away from here and away from Sam, she turned into this funny, smart, sexy girl, and she just blew me away!" _Flashes of Leah ran through my mind . . . her beautiful smile, walking along the waterfront with my arm around her, eating Chinese in bed while she was wearing my t-shirt, and then . . ."

"_Whoa, Jake! OK, I get it, but that's more of Leah than I ever want to see." _Quil. Now that he had Claire, he was such a prude.

"_Sorry, but she is so hot. And the things she taught me . . ."_

"_Was she really wearing underwear with little hearts on them?"_ Embry wanted to know.

"_Shit! That was supposed to be our secret. Don't let Leah know you saw that. She'll kill me!"_

"_Yea, OK. Like she'd be pissed about me seeing the underwear and not what she was doing to you. Maybe you should recite the alphabet or something or I'm going to have to find a cold river to jump into. Geez, Jake."_

I chuckled to myself. I had always been on the other end of that, too. Seeing too much of the imprints and their girls. It was kind of cool to be the one with the girl. I recited the alphabet then moved on to an old poem that I had learned in like the 5th grade.

We finished our patrol at Sam's and I phased and pulled on my shorts as Embry and Quil did the same. We walked into the house so I could talk to Sam. Since he set up the schedule, I wasn't sure who was taking over for us. We walked in to find Paul and Jared hanging out, so I assumed maybe they were next.

"Hey, boss!" Jared called out. I just rolled my eyes and asked, "Are you taking over for us on patrol?"

He smiled and said, "Yep. Me, Paul and Sam."

I nodded. "Where is Sam?" I asked just as Jared shoved a whole cookie into his mouth.

Paul answered for him. "Emily called him upstairs a couple of minutes ago." Oh. Awkward.

Embry and Quil had already helped themselves to the peanut butter cookies that were sitting on the counter and plopped down in a chair at the table. I joined them and wondered how long it might be. I looked at Jared and Paul and said, "Maybe you should go ahead and I can send Sam out . . ."

Just then Sam came bounding down the stairs faster than I had ever seen him. His face was completely lit up as he shouted, "WE'RE HAVING A BABY! I'm going to be a dad!" He ran around the table high-fiving all of us. When he got to me he said, "You're not the only one around here, bro. I can't believe we're going to be dads together. This is fucking awesome!" I laughed. I can't remember ever seeing Sam so happy. I guess this scare with Leah really made him want to be a dad. I was very, very thankful now, more than ever, that this baby was mine. It could have gone so wrong for Emily, for Leah, for all of us.

"Want me to run your patrol for you?" I offered.

He looked at me and it took a second for him to realize what I was asking him. "Oh shit, yea! I forgot! No, I'll go. I need to run off some of this energy or I'll drive Em crazy! She's tired and wants a nap." I nodded and turned to go. "But, dude! We're having a party, here, tonight. I want everyone to know! Come back around seven with Leah and Seth, OK?"

I smiled and nodded. "Seth has a hot date tonight, but I'll tell him to come over after." Embry snickered at that and I smacked him in the back of the head.

Sam, Paul and Jared left to patrol and Embry, Quil and I all headed home. I walked into the back door of Leah's house to find her in the kitchen baking something. "Hey, babe. What smells so good?" I walked over and put my arms around her waist and leaned down to kiss her on the neck. I noticed that she had showered again. All I could smell was her soap and shampoo. I smiled at that. She had her hair up in a clip so I took advantage and put a couple more kisses on the back of her neck.

She leaned back into me and answered, "I'm baking homemade bread. I haven't done this for a long time, and I just felt like it."

"It smells fantastic!" I told her. She turned in my arms and said, "How was your patrol?"

"Fine. Um, I heard some news while I was at Sam's." She looked at me and waited. "Maybe you might want to sit down."

"No, I don't want to sit down. Whatever you have to say, Jake, just say it. I'm not some twit who's going to fall apart. I promise," she told me.

"OK. Emily's pregnant." I could see a few emotions cross her face before she finally said, "Oh."

She laid her forehead on my shoulder. "You OK with this?" I asked. I knew she had said her goodbyes to Sam, but I knew this would still sting.

She raised her head and looked at me. "Yes, I am." Then she smiled, thank God. "I have you, and our little bun in the oven here, so I am more than OK." I had to smile at that. Then I leaned down and kissed her.

"I wonder why he didn't tell me when . . . well, you know."

"Because he just found out while I was there. Em called him upstairs to tell him in private. And he's bouncing off the walls right now! You should have seen him." She smiled at that. "By the way, he told us he is having a party tonight to celebrate and tell everyone the good news. It is mandatory we attend."

"Oh." Yea, that's kind of how I felt.

"Look, we can go for awhile and then come home early. We'll still have some time alone, I promise."

"I know. That's not it." She walked away from me and went to the fridge. She pulled out a plate that had a couple of sandwiches on it and she held it out to me. I grinned and sat down at the table.

"So what is it then?" I asked as she put a can of Mt. Dew in front of me and sat down at the table. I took a bite of my sandwich while I waited for her to answer.

"It's being there . . . with everyone, with Emily." Oh. I should have thought of that. Leah had never gone over there to socialize. The only time she ever showed up at Sam's was when she had to for pack meetings. Then she would leave right away.

"I'm sorry, babe. I never thought of that. We don't . . . "

"Yes, we do. It's about time that I made my peace with her. I have faced Sam and worked through that and it's done. But, I haven't done that with Emily. Maybe you don't remember, but we used to be really close growing up. She was like the sister I never had. She would come over and we would stay up all night talking about anything and everything. I miss her," she said, her voice trailing off at the end. "I hope I can face her, knowing what I did."

I ate my other sandwich while Leah took the bread out of the oven. Seth came into the kitchen asking when he could have some. "Man, that smell is driving me nuts!" he said as he sat down at the table.

"Well, it has to cool before I cut it. Give it about 15 minutes," she told him. I filled Seth in on the big news and told him about the party.

"But I have a date," he whined. I rolled my eyes and said, "You can stop by after your date. Or bring her over, whatever, dude. Just don't whine about it. I can't take it." Leah laughed at that and Seth gave her a look.

Leah finally cut the bread and we spread butter on it and ate it warm. Oh man, it was so good. "You are making this at least once a month. That's an order," I told her. She smacked me on the back of the head and said, "Don't go abusing your great Alpha powers on me, buddy. You may live to regret that." Seth grinned and I grinned back. Leah was the only one that could get away with that. "Yes, ma'am," I said.

Seth drifted upstairs to get ready for his big date, and I stayed and helped Leah clean up the kitchen. When we were done, she said, "I don't know if I have anything to wear to this party. Most of my clothes are at the apartment and the jeans I brought are too tight."

"Seriously, Leah? You never used to care what you looked like around the guys."

"I know. But I was only around them when I had to patrol or go to a pack meeting. You have to remember, Jake, these guys weren't my friends. I never allowed them to be."

I pulled her in close and said, "Well, maybe it's time you did. They are not just friends, Leah. They are our family." I put a kiss on her head and then leaned back so I could see her face. "I promise to take you shopping when we get back to Seattle for some clothes that fit, OK? I will endure a trip to the mall just for you," I added with a grin.

That made her smile. "I will hold you to that, you know." I bent down and put a quick kiss on her lips. "OK. I'm going upstairs to see what fits." She walked away and I stood there and smiled. I was trying to imagine what she would look like when her belly was swollen big with my baby. All of a sudden I felt this rush of emotion at seeing Leah like that. My heart swelled at how much I loved her. I had never felt anything like it before. Leah was mine . . . now and forever. Maybe it was time to make that permanent by asking her to marry me. I would have to work on that.

We walked up the porch steps to Sam and Emily's house and Leah stopped. We could hear from the noise inside that lots of people were here already. I looked over at her and asked, "You OK?" I knew she was nervous about coming.

She looked at me and said softly, "Yep. I can do this."

I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her to me. "I'll be right here beside you if you need me."

She wrapped her arms around my waist and said, "I do need you, Jake. I really do." I held her until she was ready to move. Finally she stepped back and took my hand as I led her inside.

We walked in and I heard Embry call out to me. I gave him a wave and we walked into the living area where he was sitting with Cindy, the girl I had made out with at her birthday party in the 10th grade! I felt myself turn a little red at that memory as Embry introduced Leah to her. Leah told Cindy it was nice to meet her then she looked at me with a sly smile. _Oh God, please don't say anything_, I tried to convey to her with my eyes. She just smiled and squeezed my hand and I relaxed. She had my back. I would have to remember that.

Cindy smiled and said, "Hey, Jake. Long time, no see." Leah chuckled and turned her face away from me. I cleared my throat and said, "Yea, um, I guess." Embry laughed. _Dumb ass._ He remembered very well what happened at that party. I hoped my face wasn't as red as I felt it was.

We spent a little time talking to them then I noticed that Leah kept glancing over at Emily. She was in the kitchen, which was no surprise. There was enough food here for an army, which was how this pack ate. I looked at Leah and asked quietly, "Do you want to talk to her?" She looked back and I could see her fighting an internal battle with herself. Finally she nodded. We got up and made our way to the kitchen. I picked up a deviled egg and stuck it in my mouth as we walked by the counter. Leah stopped and said, "Hey, Emmy." Emily stopped what she was doing and turned around to look at Leah. I could see that Leah using her old nickname for her had thrown her a little. She wiped her hands on a towel and said, "Hey, Lee."

"Jake told me the news. Congratulations," Leah said quietly. More quietly than I could ever imagine Leah talking!

Em smiled and said, "You, too. How bout that? We're going to be moms together . . . just like we used to talk about when we were kids."

Leah smiled and nodded.

Emily took Leah's arm and said, "Can we talk, Leah?" Leah nodded, and Em led her out of the kitchen toward the back of the house. I really hoped this went well. They needed each other, now more than ever.

Leah POV:

Emily led us back to the spare bedroom that she kept in the back of the house in case of emergencies. It was used kind of as our medical clinic. She flipped on the light and we sat down next to each other on the edge of the bed.

_OK, Leah. Be strong_. Emily had tears in her eyes as she said, "Leah, I'm so sorry for everything that happened. I never expected Sam to imprint on me. And when he did, I felt so guilty. I remember as he was trying to explain everything to me, I was completely confused. How could he love me? We all knew how much he loved you. He had always loved you. He went on about being a wolf and imprinting, and the whole time I felt like I was in a weird dream, where nothing made sense. And yet, I felt this undeniable pull to him that had never been there before. I knew he wasn't lying." She stopped to look into my eyes. "He tried hard to fight it. Did you know that?" I shook my head. She put her head down and said softly as she put her hand to her injured face, "That's how this happened. He was so torn between us, Leah. He still loved you so much, and he hated how this was hurting you, and yet he couldn't walk away from me. He was so angry and upset and . . . he phased before he could stop himself."

I closed my eyes. _Oh my God_. _No one had ever told me exactly how that had happened_. _Shit._ "Emmy, God, I'm so sorry." I put my arm around her and she laid her head on my shoulder. "I hate what this fucking imprinting did to all of us. You didn't deserve to be hurt like that."

She sat up and looked at me. "And neither did you. Just because your scars don't show doesn't mean they aren't there. I don't want you to feel guilty over this. It was an accident. I have had to tell that to Sam over and over. It's done. It's in the past." She touched my cheek and said, "Lee, I have missed you so much. There have been so many times that I have picked up the phone and dialed, only to hang up before you answered. I knew you didn't want to talk to me. But, now that you have Jake and this baby. . . I guess I'm hoping that maybe . . . we can find a way to be friends again?"

I felt tears sliding down my cheeks and wondered again when I had become such a cry baby. "I'm sorry for how I've treated you. I have been so hateful to everyone, but especially you and Sam. I'm sorry."

We held onto each other and cried. I hated that I had waited so long to talk to her. I had to face the fact that I needed her, too. We finally broke apart and laughed at how we looked. She grabbed a box of Kleenex so we could clean ourselves up. That's how Jake found us as he stuck his head inside the door. "Everyone OK in here?" he asked.

I smiled and said, "Yes, we're fine." I blew my nose and stood up to throw away all of my used tissues. He came into the room to stand beside me and his arm found it's way around my waist. Emily stood up and said, "We are more than fine. We are pregnant!" We all laughed at that, and Jake let me go to pull Emily into a hug. "And I am so happy for you and Sam. You'll be a great mom." He let her go and added, "You've had a lot of practice mothering all of us!"

She laughed at that. "Yea, one baby compared to all of my wolf boys? Should be a breeze."

"Hey, there's a party going on out here, in case you all forgot," Sam said at the door. Emily smiled and walked over to him. He kissed her and I didn't even look away. I didn't have to anymore. That pain was in the past. Jake put his arm around me again.

Emily said, "Leah and I talked, and we are good. Very good," she added as she looked at me with a smile. I smiled back.

Sam looked at me and said, "Good. I'm glad. You two need to be friends again. I'm sorry that I ruined that for you."

"Don't Sam. We have decided that all of that shit is in the past, where it will stay. No more apologies. Let's go out and party!" I told him.

He grinned and said, "I heard that!" We all walked back out and rejoined the party. There was way too much food, as always, and Emily had made her special punch, which I was afraid that Paul and Jared may have spiked, so I stuck to water. Seth came later, with his girl, who he introduced to me. Jared had the music cranked, so he shouted, "Kayla, this is my sister, Leah and her boyfriend, Jake. This is Kayla, guys."

I stuck my hand out and shouted back, "It's very nice to meet you Kayla." She shyly took it and said quietly, "Nice to meet you, too." She was so shy! Now I know why the date hadn't gone too well last night. It must have gone better tonight, or she wouldn't be here with Seth.

They moved on and Jake went to hang out with the guys while us girls hung around the kitchen. Sam finally turned the music down a little so we could all hear each other again. Emily and Kim were laughing about something, and Rachel was standing with me. "So, how are you handling my brother stepping up and taking the almighty Alpha role?"

I looked at her and said, "Oh, like I have a choice?" She smiled as I shrugged and said, "I always knew he would have to. I guess I just thought maybe it could wait awhile. I'm a little worried about him, actually. Taking Alpha, sitting on the council, learning all that stuff, and becoming a dad all at the same time. It's a lot for a 19-year old to handle, don't you think?"

"Yes, I do. I'm worried about him, too. But he'll do alright. Jake has always had a maturity that was older than his age." Just then, Jake belched really loudly and said, "Oh, that's a good one!" as all of the guys laughed. Rachel looked at me and said, "OK, so maybe he's not as mature as I thought," and then we both laughed.

I asked her if she knew about the bonding thing. She nodded and said, "I overheard Jake and Dad talking about it, and after Jake left, I asked Dad to explain it to me. I hate that you didn't have a choice, Leah, but Dad's right. You are the perfect woman for Jake. You have the bloodline and all that, but . . . seeing you two together . . . it's like you were born for each other, you know? You just . . . fit. I don't know how else to describe it." I smiled at that. We did just fit. "Are you OK with it?"

I smiled. "I wasn't at first. I get really sick and tired sometimes with all this 'wolf magic' shit, you know? This feeling that my life is never my own. I never get any choices. Everything is all decided for me. But, now . . . yea, I'm OK with it." I looked across the room at Jake and smiled. "Jake told me that he couldn't have chosen a better mate to stand beside him, and that made me feel really proud. And now, that he told me he loves me, well, I am really OK with it."

"He told you that? When?" she asked excitedly.

"Last night," I replied with a smile.

She threw her arms around me and hugged me as she said, "Oh my gosh, it's about time! I'm so glad." I hugged her back and then we drew apart. "I have to tell you that I hated what _she_ put him through. There were so many times I wanted to hunt her down and kill her!"

"I almost did," I told her quietly.

Her eyes grew big as she said, "What?" So I told her about the night that Bella and Jake talked and I almost killed her. Then I told her all about Bella's little visit to my house and what she told me.

"Oh my God, Leah. What a bitch! I can't believe she would come to her father's wedding to tell Jake that she made a mistake and she wants him back. You should have killed her."

"I couldn't do that to Charlie. He's my stepdad now, and I really care about him. He still loves her, you know? And as long as she stays away from Jake, I got no problem with her. He's finally over her, thank God. And I will make sure that he never regrets it."

She smiled at that. "I am really going to like having you for a sister, Leah. I think we need to spend a lot more time together." I laughed at that. I had to agree. I had always liked Rachel a lot. I think we should get to know each other again.

"You know, I am just realizing how much I have missed having girl talk," I told her. "I have spent the last year around all these smelly boys. I am going to make sure that we all spend more time together." Emily and Kim heard that and joined Rachel in agreement.

"Maybe we should take Friday nights as girl nights. Go out, have a little fun," Rachel said.

"Yea, but now that two of us are pregnant, that might not last long," I told her.

"And I'm only 18," Kim added. "Where can we go that I can go, too?"

"Come on, you bunch of Debby Downers! We can still have fun. We can come here, kick Sam out, and spend the night talking about our men. That could be really fun," Rachel suggested. We all laughed and Emily said she would love it.

"I'll come when I can. I think we'll be in Seattle for a little while. I'm not sure how soon we'll be moving back. Or where we'll live when we do come back," I told them.

"Well," Rachel said, "We will all have to work on that. We will find you a house, OK?"

I laughed and said, "OK. You do that."

Our little girl get together was broken up by Jared who told Kim he had to get her home. He always tried to stay on her parent's good side. They were pretty strict, and he knew if he wanted to see her, he had to bend to their rules. She whined and said, "Fine. Thanks for the party, Em. I'm sorry I can't stay and help clean up."

Emily hugged her and said, "It's OK, baby girl. Thanks for all of the help you gave me before the party."

Kim said goodbye to all of us then walked with Jared out the front door. "I don't' know her very well. I never hung out with the pack long enough to get to know her. All I know is what I've seen in Jared's head, and believe me, it's hard to look her in the face sometimes. It's hard to look all of you in the face. Geez."

Rachel and Em laughed at that. "How weird," Rachel said. "You've seen us like that, but we've never seen you like that. Somehow that's not fair."

"What, like you really want to see that? Cause I gotta tell you, your guys are sick sometimes! You don't want to see some of the stuff that goes through their heads. It's not always what really happened, as much as the stuff they fantasize about. And I gotta tell you, Rach, Paul is scary."

She laughed really hard at that. "Come on, my Paulie? He's a sweetheart." I rolled my eyes and put my finger to my mouth like I was gagging. She kept laughing and Paul came over to ask what was so funny. I just looked at Rachel and said, "Oh, you know, Paul. Girl talk." He squinted and looked at me like he wondered what I had been telling her. I just smiled sweetly and picked up a carrot and bit into it.

"Are you ready to go?" Paul said into Rachel's ear. She nodded with a smile as he whispered something else. Man, how did she keep up with him? She said, "Leah? I meant what I said. We will spend more time together."

"Yep. I got it. I look forward to it," I told her. They said goodbye and I noticed her stop and say something to Jake. He looked over at me and smiled and then they left. He got up and walked over to me. "So, my sister tells me that she is going to love having you for a sister. What's that all about?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I said with a smile. He leaned down and kissed me on the lips and asked, "What are you two up to?"

I laughed and said, "Just girl talk. I forgot how much I missed that. Rachel decided that all of us girls are going to take over this house on Friday nights and have girl nights. No boys allowed."

He frowned and said, "I don't know if I like that idea."

"Quit being a baby, Jake. It's only one night."

"Yea, but you know how I hate being away from you even for one night." Emily looked at him and said, "Awwwww."

I smiled and said, "I won't stay all night. I'll come home to you, I promise."

He put his arms around me and held me close. "Let's go home now," he whispered into my ear. I smiled and nodded. Mom was coming home tomorrow and this would be the last night we could sleep together in my house. Although, now she knew I was pregnant, and bonded to Jake for life, maybe she would allow it.

I walked over to Em to hug her again. "Thanks, Em, for everything."

She hugged me tight and then let me go. "You're welcome. Don't be a stranger, OK?"

"I'll try. I really will."

We said our goodbyes and walked out onto the porch. Jake took my hand and led me to the car. He opened the car door for me and I got in then he slid into the driver's seat and drove us home. He parked in front of the house and shut off the engine then he turned to me and asked, "Have you been thinking about moving back here?"

"Yes, I have," I answered. I really had been thinking about it all week. "I know now that you have accepted Alpha, it's just a matter of time before we have to come back so you can accept your responsibilities here. At first I was pretty pissed, but . . . now, I'm kind of thinking I want the baby to be born here."

He smiled and said, "Me, too. I would really like that."

"OK then. We go back to Seattle, we work and save some money, then come back here before the baby is born."

"You are always the girl with the plan, aren't you? What would I do without you?" he asked with a grin.

"Well, you are lucky that you'll never have to find out, aren't you?" I told him with my own grin. Then he leaned over and kissed me on the lips. "I am lucky, Leah. Very."

"Come inside and I'll show you how much luckier you can get," I told him with a sexy smile. He jumped out and ran around the car as I opened the door. I stepped out and he grabbed my hand and we ran to the door and went inside and right up the stairs. And he did indeed get lucky.

Jake POV:

Sue and Charlie were coming home today from their cruise. Leah wanted to stay until they got home so she could visit with them for a little bit before we had to go back to Seattle. So, I was heading over to see my dad this morning and talk with him about my future.

I walked into the house and found Dad sitting at the kitchen table. "Hey, Dad," I said as I walked in. He looked up at me and smiled. "Hi, son. Good to see you."

I walked over to the fridge and took out a can of pop. "You want anything?" I asked him before I sat down.

"Sure. Pour me some more coffee, will ya?" He pushed his coffee cup toward me and I turned to get the pot and fill his cup. Then I sat down and opened my can of Mt. Dew and took a long drink.

"So, I'm here to talk about my future, Dad. I have lots and lots of questions."

He laughed at that. "Well, I hope I have the answers."

"Me, too," I answered with a grin.

"So, what do you want to know?" he asked as he took a sip of coffee.

"Well, first of all, I want you to know that I finally came to my senses and told Leah how much I love her." He raised his eyebrows at me. "And yes, I want to marry her."

He chuckled at that. "Good. I'm glad to hear it. I guess seeing Bella last weekend had something to do with that?"

I finally told him all about my talk with Bella and how I felt after seeing her, and kissing her. I also told him about Bella's visit to Leah and what she told her. "It's so strange to hear her admit that she made the wrong choice, and yet . . . I didn't feel sorry for her. I didn't feel anything really. I'll always miss Bella, my Bella. And maybe I'll always regret that the choice that she made. But, now, I don't feel anything for this Bella. It's over. Done."

"I'm glad to hear that, Jacob. It's time to let her go." I nodded in agreement.

"So, anyway, I haven't officially proposed to Leah yet, but I want to. And, Leah and I have both decided that we want the baby to be born here, so we will be moving back sometime this summer. Which leads to my first question . . . where will we live? I know that the tribe gave Sam his house when he became Alpha. I don't want to kick them out of their house or anything now that I am Alpha. That wouldn't be right."

"But it is your right as Alpha, son, to have a home provided for you."

"Whatever, but that is Sam and Emily's home. They're having a baby, too, and they need their home. Plus, it's the pack hangout. I don't want any of that to change. He's my Beta . . . doesn't that mean anything?"

"Of course it does. I don't want to put them out either, Jacob. I'm sure we can come to some kind of solution."

"Good. Then, I need to know what all is expected of me from the Tribal Council."

He smiled at me. "Jacob, you are taking on a lot all at the same time. I think some of this can wait a little. You're going to be a husband and a father. That's a big step right there. And taking over as Alpha is a big enough responsibility. I can handle the council."

"I know that, Dad. But, God forbid, what if something happens to you? No one expected Harry to die of a heart attack. What if something happens and I'm left here not knowing what to do? How to handle things?"

"Well, that is a very mature question, son. I don't have any plans to kick off any time soon, but I see your point. OK, tell you what. While you are finishing up your life in Seattle, I'll start a notebook. I will write down everything you need to know. And when you come home for good, we will sit down and go over everything, OK?"

I smiled at him. "OK. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now, first priority? Ask that beautiful girl to marry you!" I had to laugh at that. "Do you have a ring yet?" I shook my head. "Do you want one?" I gave him a curious look and he said, "Stay here. I'll be right back." He backed his chair away from the table and wheeled away. _What was he up to?_

I got up from the table and threw my pop can in the trash. Then I grabbed an apple from the bowl on the counter and bit into it. I heard him coming back so I turned around and saw he had a small box in his lap. He wheeled up to the table again and I sat down. "What are you up to, old man?" I asked warily.

He smiled as put the box on the table. It was a box that he had made, I could tell from the carving on the lid. He opened it and said, "These are some of your mother's things that I have kept. I have given each of the girls some of her things, but I saved one thing for you." He took out a ring and handed it to me. "It's your mother's wedding ring."

I took it from him and looked at it. All of a sudden I felt her, with me somehow. I remembered seeing this ring on her finger. She never took it off. I shut my eyes as I closed my hand over it and let my memories surround me. I heard Dad say, "I think she would want you to have it. To give to Leah."

I opened my eyes and looked at him. "You know, your mom used to talk about how she hoped that one day you and Leah would grow up and get married. She and Sue were such good friends."

"I know. Sue told me. She said they used to talk about being grandmas together," I said softly.

He smiled. "Yea, they did."

I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked at the ring again. It was a simple sliver band with a leaf pattern carved all around it. "I know it's not an engagement ring, but maybe you could save it and put it on her finger at the wedding," Dad suggested. I looked up at him and nodded. "Yea, I would like that. Thanks, for this," I said to him. He reached out and put his hand on top of mine. "I know it's what she would have wanted," he said.

I put the ring in my pocket and said, "Well, I better go. I told Leah I would be back in time for lunch. Sue and Charlie thought they would be back by noon, so Leah is making lunch for all of us." I stood up and turned to go then I looked back and said, "Why don't you come with me? I'm sure Sue and Charlie would like to see you."

He smiled at me. "Sure, why not?"

"Where's Rach, by the way?" I asked.

"She's with Paul. She always cooks on Sundays for his Grandma. She cooks enough for the week and freezes it for her."

"Really? I didn't know that."

"Yea, she's getting up there in years, and I guess her health isn't very good. Rachel worries about her. So does Paul, but you know him. He doesn't show it." I nodded.

"OK, well then, let's go," I told him. I wheeled him out to the car and helped him inside. I folded the wheelchair and shoved it into the back, but the hatch wouldn't close. So I pulled out a bungee cord and pulled down the hatch and hooked it shut with the cord. Dad laughed when I got into the car. "Smart thinking, son."

I rolled my eyes and smiled then took off for Sue's house. I was already missing Leah.

Sue and Charlie came home and greeted all of us with big smiles on their faces. It was good to see both of them so happy. They were both glad that Dad had come over and we all sat down at the dining room table and ate the lunch that Leah had prepared for us. She had kept it simple: Chili and cornbread, with brownies for dessert. It was nice sitting there with our family around us. I rested my arm on the back of Leah's chair and just sat back and listened to everyone talking. Sue was so excited to share about their cruise and all the food they ate, and Charlie told us he actually won a little money in the casino on the ship.

Sue asked Seth and Leah how they did here at home alone, and Seth whined that Leah ragged on him everyday to "do your homework, take out the garbage, lug these boxes to the attic." Of course he used a whiny girl voice and I knew he was teasing Leah. I laughed at him as Sue said, "Good. She learned from the best!" Leah shoved Seth and laughed.

"No, she was cool. We actually got along OK for once," he said as he smiled at her.

She smiled back and said, "Yea. Weird, huh?"

Sue smiled and said, "Yea, weird."

The party broke up and Sue, Leah and I cleaned up the kitchen while Seth and Charlie and Dad went into the living room to find something to watch on TV. Football was over for the year, and baseball hadn't started yet, so I wondered what they would end up watching.

Sue and Leah kicked me out of the kitchen, so I went in to join the guys. "Really? This is what you're watching?" I said as I sat down on the couch next to Seth. "Animal Planet?"

Seth looked over and said, "Uh, yea. This guy is going to swim with great white sharks! I want to see him get his ass chewed by a shark!"

I laughed at that. Charlie looked over at me and rolled his eyes. So, we all sat there glued to the TV waiting to see if this guy was going to get eaten by a shark. He didn't by the way, much to Seth's disappointment.

Leah walked out of the kitchen and looked at me. "We should get going," she said. I nodded and stood up.

"I'll get your bag. Do you have everything packed?"

"Yes. It's on the bed."

"OK." I headed upstairs and went into her room. It looked so plain now. She had spent the week packing things up and she had taken down all the posters and stuff that she had on the walls. I reached into my pocket and took out Mom's ring and looked at it. Were we really ready to get married? Was it really time to move out and be grown ups? Like we really had a choice! We were going to be parents. It was time to grow up – NOW.

I shoved the ring back into my pocket and picked up Leah's bag and mine. I carried them downstairs and set them by the door. Leah was hugging her mom and telling her she would back at the end of the month for her next doctor's appointment. Then she hugged Charlie and told him to take good care of Sue. He smiled and told her he would try, but Sue pretty much took care of herself. I smiled at that. I knew that feeling.

Then Leah hugged Seth, and I smiled as he actually hugged her back. Leah was right. It was good for them to spend some time together. We would have to have him come and stay with us soon. She even hugged my dad and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Alright, we better go," she said as she made her way to me. Sue followed her and gave me a hug. "Leah told me that you finally fessed up to your feelings. It's about time," she said quietly. She pulled back and put her hands on my cheeks. "I'm happy, Jacob. You and my daughter belong together." I smiled at her as she stepped back.

I put my arm around Leah and told Sue, "Yea, I think so, too." Then I turned to Leah and said, "Come on. We better hit the road." I picked up our bags and we called out our goodbyes then we made our way to the car. I threw the bags into the back of the car then climbed into the driver's seat.

"Ready to go home?" I asked her.

"YES! Let's go!" she said excitedly.

So I started the car and drove us home, to Seattle.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPER 14

Jake POV:

After we got back, Leah did hold me to my promise to take her to the mall for new clothes. "I really should get maternity pants, but I promised Mom I would go shopping with her for those."

"You wouldn't want to disappoint Sue Clearwater-Swan."

"No. That would be a bad thing," she said with a smile. I followed her around from store to store, and managed to eat an ice cream cone, a soft pretzel and a slice of pizza in the time it took her to pick out a pair of jeans, two t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants.

"You know, the mall's not so bad," I said as I took a drink of my smoothie. Leah just laughed at me. "What?"

"I think the only thing you missed was Starbuck's and the candy store."

"Ooo, candy? Is that close?" She laughed at me again and drug me out to the car.

When I went back to work, I told Dan about the baby and he gave me the same look Dad did. "Yes, Dan, I'm going to marry her. I recognize the look. It's the same one my dad gave me when I told him right before he asked, 'Are you going to marry her?' "

Dan laughed at that then said, "Well, us dads just care about our kids and want what's best for them. I suppose you'll be finding that out pretty soon." I nodded and then he asked, "How old are you again?" I told him nineteen. "Geez, boy! You're still a kid yourself!"

"Well, it wasn't planned, but it's OK. Leah thought that she wouldn't be able to have kids, so she's pretty excited about it, and I have to say, I am, too."

"Good for you. So, you proposed yet?" he asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Nope. I want to buy an engagement ring first. My dad gave me my mom's wedding ring while I was home. But I want to give her a ring when I propose, you know? I have some money saved, but I'm not sure if it's enough. I know she'll just want something simple."

"You sure about that?" he laughed.

"Come on, Dan. You've met Leah. I mean, she would like something nice, but if I bought some big fancy ring that I couldn't afford, she'd kick my ass!"

He laughed and said, "That she would. Well, go see Mr. Hansen. He owns the jewelry store around the corner. Tell him you work for me and that I said to give you a good deal or I won't be working on that ancient car of his anymore."

"OK. I'll try that." And I did. At lunch time, I went around the corner and into the store. It was a small store with maybe five glass cases. It looked like it had been here for many years. A man with gray hair and glasses in an old fashioned suit asked if he could help me. I asked if he was Mr. Hansen. He smiled and said, "Yes, I am." Then I told him what Dan said to say. He laughed heartily and said, "Well then, let's take a look at some rings and I'll see what I can do. My car will need a tune-up soon so I promise to take good care of you."

He walked me over to a case full of diamond rings. I told him what I could afford and he showed me several rings. I was drawn to one that was very simple, but really pretty. I could see Leah wearing it. He smiled and told me it was ¼ carat solitaire square-cut diamond on a white gold band. I told him I already had a wedding ring – that it had been my mother's. He smiled at that and told me to bring it in and he would polish it up and make sure it was in good condition. He gave me 30% off of his price and I told him I would be back with the money tomorrow. We shook hands and I walked back to work whistling.

I went to the bank on the way home from work and the next day, I went into the store to pay Mr. Hansen. I gave him mom's ring and he told me it was fine craftsmanship. He polished it up and it looked really nice with the engagement ring. He put both rings in a box and handed it to me as he said, "Congratulations, young man. I wish you all the best." I thanked him and walked out. Now all I had to do was think of how I was going to propose to her. I wanted it to be special, but I had no great ideas. I thought about making her dinner, or taking her out somewhere nice. None of that seemed right. Then I got it. I smiled as I thought about my plan. Now all I had to do was wait until we went back to LaPush.

At the end of the month, Leah had another appointment with Carlisle, so Dan gave me Friday off so I could drive her. We loaded up the car and took off around ten. Leah chatted happily most of the way there. She told me that Rach was insisting on having a "girls night" tonight. I really wanted to propose tonight, but it could wait one more day, I guess.

We saw Carlisle and he told her everything looked fine. She had gained another four pounds, which he said was good. He set another appointment for the end of April and we said goodbye. We pulled up to Sue's house and I parked the car. We got out and went in to find Sue in the kitchen. "Hey kids! Leah, honey, how are you?" she said as she hugged Leah.

"I'm good, Mom. And I only gained four pounds this month! Carlisle said everything looks good," she told her. Then Sue hugged me and said, "Looks like you're taking good care of her."

I smiled and answered, "I try, but she's a stubborn girl." Leah shot me a look as Sue laughed and added, "Tell me about it!" Then I said to Leah, "I need to give Sam a call." She nodded and I walked out to the living room to make the call.

Leah POV:

"So, what's up? Anything new?" I asked Mom.

"Around here? No. Everything's been pretty calm," she answered.

"How's Charlie?" I asked.

"Fine," she said with a slow smile.

"Geez, Mom," I said with disgust. Like I needed that image in my head. I was glad she was married and happy, but I didn't really need details.

"What? I may be old, but I'm not dead! I like being married. Enough said."

"Agreed." I walked to the fridge and took out the orange juice and poured myself a glass.

"How are you and Jake?" she asked me.

"Good. Really good."

"Yea? Any wedding bells yet?" I gave her a look. "Alright, just wondering. I just don't like the thought of shopping for wedding gowns in the maternity section."

"Come on, Mom. I'm just happy that Jake finally admitted that he loves me. That's all I really want. I can wait for the marriage part."

Just then Jake came back into the kitchen. "I gotta go. I'm going to meet Sam and go over some pack stuff. I'll see you later?"

"Um, I'm supposed to be over to Em's by six for girls night," I reminded him.

"Oh yea. OK, well, I'll see you after that. Here's the keys to the car," he said as he handed them to me. "Have fun." He put a quick kiss on my lips, said goodbye to Mom and went out the back door. I saw him stop on the patio and take off his shoes and socks and shirt then he ran for the woods.

"Duty calls," I said mopily.

Mom smiled at that. "Better get used to it, honey. Jake has a lot of responsibilities now."

"I know. I just thought we'd be here longer than five minutes before he ran off." I plopped down onto a chair and drank some more juice. "I'm a little scared of moving back, Mom. I wonder if I'll ever see him. I've gotten pretty used to us spending most of our time together."

"About that . . . you know, we tribal elders have been talking, and we want you to sit on the council, too."

My head came up as I said, "What? Why?"

Mom sat down across the table from me and said, "You will not only be Jake's wife, I hope someday soon, but you'll also be his right arm. You will be the one to help him make decisions, and be there for him when he needs strength. You are very important to Jake and that makes you important to the rest of the tribe."

_Wow. I never thought of that_. I just sat there trying to digest what she just told me. "Leah?" I realized that Mom was calling me. "Hmmmm?"

"Are you OK with that? Sitting on the council?"

_I don't know. Am I? _"Yea, I guess. I'm just kind of surprised and . . . I don't know, kind of proud that they would want me."

She smiled and said, "Good. I'm tired of being the only woman there. They tend to overlook my opinion sometimes and I have to get a little loud."

I laughed at that. "Ignore Sue Clearwater-Swan? How dare they!"

She laughed too then got up to go back to chopping vegetables. "What are you making, by the way?"

"Vegetable soup and cornbread."

"Mmm, sounds good. Wish I could stay for dinner, but Rachel, Emily, Kim and I are meeting at Em's for a girls night. I have no idea what that will involve. I'm a little scared, actually."

"Oh Leah. You'll have fun. You need to be around girls for a change. You've been with all those boys for too long. You've picked up too many of their nasty habits. Like that mouth of yours. You're going to have to clean that up before the baby gets here, you know."

"Yea, tell me about it."

Seth came into the kitchen and saw me. "Hey, sis! How are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Eh. Could be better. I wish I had a date for tonight," he said as he sat down.

"What happened to that girl you were seeing? Um, Kayla?" I asked.

"Kayla? That was weeks ago!"

Mom turned and said, "Yes, at least three girls ago. Your brother is turning into quite a Romeo."

I smiled at him and said, "Seriously? My cute little brother?" I reached out and tousled his hair. He jerked his head away and said, "Cut it out!"

"So are there any girls left in the 10th grade that you haven't dated yet?"

"A few," he said with a smile. "But I have my sights set on the 11th grade now." I rolled my eyes as he stood up. "I guess I'll make a few calls. There has to be at least ONE girl that isn't busy tonight." He walked out of the kitchen and I said, "Good luck with that, Mom."

"Yea, I suppose the next few years are going to be fun with your brother."

"Well, just to warn you, I have found that our wolf pack is very . . . um, physical. Must be something in the wolf genes. I mean I know it's natural with puberty and all to be obsessed with thinking about sex, but geez! I hated being in their heads. It's just not right. I mean, look at me. I'm not even 21 yet and I'm pregnant! Jake's only 19! What does that tell you?"

Mom turned to me and laughed. "Thanks, Leah. That's just what I need. A pregnant unwed daughter and a hormonal teen wolf. Great!"

"Well, on that note, I gotta go. I'll be home later tonight."

"OK. Have some fun."

"I'll try," I said as I walked out of the kitchen. She called goodbye and I picked up my purse and headed for the car.

I drove over to Emily's and parked. I got out and wondered if anyone else was here yet. I walked up the porch steps and opened the door. "Hello!" I called out.

"Hey, girl!" Emily said as I closed the door and walked in. "Come on in!" She walked over and hugged me. "It's so good to have you here." I hugged her back. It was weird for me to be here with her, but I was trying. "Hey, you have quite a little bump going on here!" she said as she let me go. I laughed as I walked to the kitchen with her. "Yea, I know. Mom and I are going shopping in Port Angeles tomorrow for some maternity clothes. None of my stuff fits anymore. That's why I'm wearing sweatpants!"

"I'll have to think about that, too, I guess," she commented.

Before I realized what I was saying, I asked, "Why don't you come with us tomorrow, Em?"

She lit up like a Christmas tree. "Are you sure?" I nodded. I wasn't, but maybe it would be good for us. And Mom would be there to be a buffer, so it could be OK. "I'd really like that," she admitted.

"Good. It's a date," I told her as I grabbed a grape from the bowl on the table and popped it into my mouth. "What can I help with?"

"Nothing. Sit down and relax. Everything is all done." _She's a supermom already!_

Rachel walked in about ten minutes later with Kim. We all greeted each other and then sat down at the table to eat.

Emily had made lasagna, garlic bread, green beans from her garden, and Rachel and Kim brought some junk food for later. "I would have bought wine, but with Leah and I being pregnant, that's no fun." We all agreed that after the babies were born, we would have wine on girls night.

We talked and laughed and got to know each other a little better. It was especially interesting to see Kim without Jared. I didn't know her at all, except what I had seen in his head. She was quiet at first, but after awhile, she started to relax and talk more. And she was funny! She had us really laughing over some stupid story about a bird that her grandma used to have that her grandpa taught to cuss. She would cuss at us in this 'bird' voice and I laughed so hard, I think I peed my pants!

We cleaned up the dishes and moved to the living room. Then Rachel said, "Leah. You're the only one here that really knows what goes on in our guy's heads. Tell us one thing about our guys that you don't think we would know about them."

My mouth dropped. "Are you fucking kidding me? That's an invasion of privacy, you know. We can't help what we see when we're wolves, but there is an unspoken rule that if you see something that's private, you keep it to yourself."

"Oh come on, Leah!" Rachel whined. "It doesn't have to be something specific. Maybe just something about them that you have learned on your own."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. _I knew she wouldn't give up. What could I tell them that wouldn't get me into trouble? _They all sat there staring at me. Finally I said, "OK. But you HAVE to promise NOT to tell them that I told you ANYTHING! Got it?"

They all swore they wouldn't say anything. I sighed again and said, "OK, here goes." I looked over at Kim. _What could I tell her about Jared? _"Um, Kim. One thing about Jared that surprised me is how smart he is. I mean, he's really smart. Sometimes when we are out running, he does math equations in his head! His grades don't show it and I think it's because he's afraid that Paul will make fun of him. Which he would. Because he does."

Kim smiled. "You know, I wondered that. Sometimes when we talk, he'll say something really intelligent. Then, it's like he's embarrassed or something. I always ask him for help with my math homework, and I have to beg him sometimes until he agrees." I nodded and she went on, "I told him the other day I was thinking of taking some college classes next fall, and I asked him if he wanted to. He just laughed and said, 'Yea, right.' "

"You know, I think he'd be a great teacher at the rez school. You should encourage him to, but not while Paul is around," I told her. Rachel started to defend Paul and I put up my hand. "Stop, Rach. I'm not being mean about Paul. It's just a fact. Paul likes to make fun of other people so they don't make fun of him first. Of where he lives, and how his dad is in jail. He's embarrassed by all of that and so he comes off as a jerk so people won't judge him for it."

"Really?" she said.

"Yea. It took me awhile to realize it, but Paul is a good guy. He's just had a shitty life growing up. His grandma does the best she can, but it's hard for him, you know?"

"Yea, I know. He doesn't like to talk about it," she admitted.

"But, he is absolutely amazed that you love him. He doesn't feel he's good enough for you."

"That's stupid! Of course he's good enough!"

_Shit. I shouldn't have said that. If that gets back to Paul, he'll kill me!_ "Look, Rach. I shouldn't have told you that. Please, PLEASE, don't let him know that I told you that."

She smiled. "I won't. I promise!" I gave her a mean look and she crossed her heart with her finger and I smiled.

"You know, Paul is tough and he's someone I really want on my side in a fight. I mean, he has some anger issues. But, on the inside, he's hurting, you know?"

Rachel nodded and said, "I know. It's part of what I love about him."

Everyone got quiet and finally Kim said, "What about Sam?" Then she realized what she said and turned beat red. Em and I just looked at each other. Did we really need to go there? Knowing that we had shared Sam was enough torture.

"Um, I don't think we need . . ." I started.

"Leah, it's OK. Tell me something about Sam," Emily said quietly.

I took a deep breath and said, "I don't know what I could tell you that you don't already know." _Except that we had sex in the woods at Thanksgiving and I thought he might be the father of my baby. Yea, you could never tell her that. _

"There has to be something," she prodded.

I had known Sam since I was 16. I knew everything about him. I knew his hopes and dreams and what really pissed him off. I knew all about how he hated his dad for leaving him and his mom, and how he wanted to be a better dad than what he had. I knew the things that really turned him on and the little noise he made when he came. What part of that could I really share?

Finally I said, "Sam is rough on the outside and very tender on the inside. He wants more than anything to be a good father and he is scared that he won't be a good one because of his dad."

"Geez, even I could tell that. Come on, Leah," Rachel grumbled.

I shot her a look and said, "What else do you want hear, Rach? Emily and I are just now talking again. You think I want to say something that will make her or I feel like shit? You think we don't know we loved the same guy? It's a little awkward."

"God, I'm sorry," she said hanging her head. "That was stupid of me." Emily just looked at me and smiled. "It's OK, Leah. I know it's a little awkward, but we'll get through this and then it won't be anymore."

"God, I hope so!" I said to her. Then I turned to Rachel. "Look, Rachel, I know you want me to spill some dirt on the guys and believe me, I really could. But they would kill me!"

She laughed at that. "Well, I wouldn't want that. I like having you around."

I looked at her and said, "OK. Look, there's something I've always wondered about Paul. He has a filthy mind, and it makes me shudder just thinking about some of the things I've seen in his head." She just looked at me. "But, I doubt that he's really done any of them. And I think that he would be SHOCKED if you even suggested doing something really filthy."

She smiled. "I'm not so sure about that."

"Really? Think about it."

She did then she laughed. "You might be right. He is a big talker."

I laughed and said, "So, try it and see what happens."

"Seriously? What if he says yes?"

"Well, then you're screwed. Literally!" All of us laughed hard at that one. Then Kim asked, "Jared isn't like that, is he?"

"God, no. Jared is so sweet it's sickening! He is SO in love with you. And he worries about you and wants to protect you. It's pathetic really." She smiled at that. "But, he does have a dirty thought every now and then. I have come to realize that our wolf boys have a genetic flaw that makes them very sexual. And I have to admit . . . I find that in myself as well."

"Leah!" Kim said in shock.

"What? We're all of age here and involved with werewolves. Like you and Jared don't have sex?"

"Well, I didn't say that. It's just . . . we don't get a lot of opportunity. My parents are pretty strict about how much time we spend together . . . alone."

"You just need to be more creative." We all looked at Rachel. "What? Paul and I have done it in some very strange places. Keeps things exciting." We all laughed and then Kim said, "Like where?"

Rachel smiled. "Um, the car, the woods, oh but bring a blanket. It's not much fun picking pine needles out of your butt!" I had to laugh – she was right about that! "Let's see, the bathroom, oh, and the bathroom at the gas station, the ocean, although that one's a little tricky with the current, and . . . "

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked her in awe.

She laughed and said, "I am serious about fucking!" Then she quickly put her hand over her mouth. "I can't believe I just said that!" she said as she began to turn red. We all laughed really hard. Rachel was not one to drop the "F" bomb like me. Unfortunately, hanging out with the pack, you can't help but pick it up. It was so strange hearing it come out of her mouth!

We spent the rest of the evening just hanging out, eating junk food and talking. I had to admit, I really enjoyed hanging out with them.

"You know, the only guy you haven't said anything about is Jake," Kim pointed out to me.

Emily smiled and said, "Yea, Leah. That' true."

"Oh, please don't talk about sex with my little brother. I don't know if I could take it," Rachel said covering her ears in mock horror. We all laughed.

"Come on, Leah. You need to share some dirt on Jake. It's only fair," Kim said.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Um, I heard that he was still a virgin. Was he?" Kim asked shyly.

I shared my shocked look with her. "Kim! I can't believe you just asked that."

"I know I can't either! But was he?"

I had to laugh at her. She was just full of surprises tonight. I took a deep breath and said, "Yes, he was. As much as the guys ragged on him about it, he was waiting . . . for _her_."

"Oh, yea. Her. Sorry," Kim said.

"Nope, it's OK. As it turned out, her loss was definitely my gain. I am proud to say I was Jacob Black's first and only. I taught him everything he knows. And believe me, he is a very fast learner."

"Ahhh, la, la, la, la," Rached said loudly as she put her hands over her ears. "OK, enough!" We all laughed at that.

It got to be eleven and we heard a commotion outside. I looked at Em and she smiled. "I guess 'girls night' is officially over."

The door opened and Sam, Jake, Paul and Jared came tumbling in. Kim jumped up and went to Jared who scooped her into his arms and held her close. "Can I take you home now?" he asked her with a smile. She said, "Yes, but we still have some time, so we don't have to go right home." She looked over at Rachel who gave her a wink. Kim giggled and Jared grinned as they turned and walked out the front door.

Sam sat down beside Em and put his arm around her shoulder. Paul pulled Rachel off of the couch and planted a big, wet kiss on her and whispered something in her ear. She laughed and looked over at me. I arched my eyebrows and mouthed, "I dare you." She whispered into his ear and I saw his eyes pop and he looked at her with shock. I lost it. Jake came in and sat down by me and said, "What's so funny?" I couldn't tell him! I just said, "Girl stuff."

Rachel was turning red as Paul took her hand and pulled her out the door. I wondered how she would get out of this one!

"So, what did we miss?" Sam asked.

"You don't want to know," I told him. "Trust me." Jake gave me a curious look then his beautiful smile. I leaned over and kissed him on the lips. "I missed you," I whispered.

He kissed me back and said, "Are you ready to go?" I nodded. He stood up and took my hand and pulled me off the couch.

I turned to Emily and said, "Thanks, Emmy. I had a really good time." She stood up and said, "Me, too."

"I hope we didn't get too rowdy for you," I said. She had been very quiet tonight. I was afraid maybe she was disgusted by what we were talking about.

She laughed at that. "No, not at all. It was fun to sit back and listen. I'm just dealing with early pregnancy. You know, the nausea, the tiredness."

"I remember it well!" I hugged her and said, "Get some rest. I'll talk to you later, OK?"

She nodded and Sam stood up and said, "I'll make sure she does." I smiled at him. He was so happy that she was pregnant. And it couldn't have come at a better time.

Jake and I walked out to the car and got inside. He looked over at me as he started the engine. "So you had fun?"

"Yea, I really did. I've been around all you boys too long. You know what I realized? Mom was right! I have a terrible mouth! I'm going to have to clean that up before the baby gets here."

He really laughed at that. I smacked him on the arm and said, "You, too. I can just hear our toddler going to preschool and telling the teacher, 'Numbers are fucking awesome!' " I said with a laugh. Jake laughed and agreed that maybe we could do a little better.

He pulled up in front of my house, next to Charlie's cruiser. This would be the first night that I had stayed here with Mom and Charlie being married. It would be very strange thinking of them sleeping together in Mom's room. I was thinking about that when Jake touched my arm and said, "Leah? Did you hear me?"

I turned to look at him. "Huh?"

He smiled. "I said that I want to stay here with you. Do you think it would be OK?"

I was pregnant. Mom knew we slept together at home. I should have asked her though and I didn't. "I don't know, Jake. I never talked to her about it." I saw that the lights were still on. Maybe they were still up. "Come on. Let's go in."

He smiled at me and we got out of the car. He took my hand as we walked to the door and went inside. Mom and Charlie were still up. They were snuggled close on the couch watching a movie on TV. "Hey Jake, Leah," Charlie called out. "It's good to see you two." He reached over and turned down the TV.

"Hi, Charlie," I said as I walked over and gave him a hug.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Really good. The doctor says that the baby is doing great."

"I'm looking forward to playing Grandpa," he said with a smile_. _Didn't he think of Bella's baby as his granddaughter? I looked at Mom in confusion for a moment. She gave me a look that said we would talk later.

I smiled and said, "I have a feeling this baby will be pretty spoiled." He and Mom exchanged a look that told me I was right. "Um, Mom? Can I talk to you a minute?"

She looked at me curiously and said, "Sure." I nodded toward the kitchen and started that way as she got up and followed me. "What is it?" she asked as soon as we were alone.

"What's up with Charlie? You told me he saw Bella and the baby. Does he really not know that she's his granddaughter?"

She sighed. "Well, they gave him that stupid story about her being Edward's cousin, so he feels like he needs to respect their story. I think he knows deep down this is Bella's baby, but he can't figure out why she looks as old as she does. Even if Bella was pregnant when she got married, the baby couldn't be a year old already."

I nodded and rolled my eyes. Again, I thought of how stupid Bella was. "Well, I will be happy to let him be a Grandpa to this baby," I said as I put my hand on my stomach.

Mom gave me a big smile and a hug. "Thank you, honey. That means so much to him, and to me."

I pulled away and said, "Well, I really wanted to ask you if it is OK if Jake sleeps here with me. I mean, I know we are not married yet, but I am pregnant and we are 'bonded' or whatever . . . "

She smiled and said, "Yes, Leah. It's OK. I would like to see you married, but I understand. I talked to Charlie about it before you got home. He wasn't too happy about it. You know he loves you both, but he's a stickler for being married first. But he understands about the pregnancy, and he knows that you two love each other and you will be getting married . . . you will be getting married?"

"Mother, please! Yes, we will probably get married at some point, OK?"

She laughed. "Alright. Last time, I promise."

"So Charlie won't give us a hard time about this, will he?" I asked.

"Well, I can't promise he won't say anything, but no, he won't give you a hard time." I wasn't sure what that meant, but I was beat and really wanted to go to bed. I told her that and she smiled and hugged me.

"Good night. Sleep well," she said.

I walked out to the living room and found Jake and Charlie talking about the Mariners. Jake never talked about sports! "You should come to Seattle and we could go to a game. You could bring Dad."

"Yea, that would be great! Seth would love that, too," Charlie said. It did my heart good to hear him include Seth like that.

"Hey, I hate to break up the party, but I am exhausted. I'm going to bed. Good night, Charlie."

"Good night, honey," he said with a smile.

I looked at Jake and nodded and he smiled. He stood up and said, "I'm beat, too. It was a long day. Good night."

Charlie looked at Mom, who gave him a mean look that told him to keep quiet, and he finally said, "Night, Jake."

We walked upstairs and into my room and I shut the door behind us. Jake turned and said, "I take it Charlie wasn't so happy about me sleeping with you?" I told him what Mom told me. He smiled some secret little smile and said, "Well, I can see that they would want us to be married. We'll have to work on that."

"Whatever. I'm tired and I need sleep." I whipped off my clothes and slipped on a nightshirt and crawled into bed. Jake had his shirt and jeans off and crawled in beside me. He threw the sheet over us and wrapped his arm around my waist to spoon with me. "Good night, baby. I love you."

I smiled. "I love you, too." And just like that, we fell asleep.

Jake POV:

I was nervous and pacing. I had gotten up early this morning and run patrol with Embry and Quil and now I was finished and trying to figure out a way to propose to Leah. I had worked it out in my head, but I couldn't figure out how to get Leah to the clearing. _A picnic? It was rather cold for a picnic. Of course, it wouldn't be for us. That might work._

I jogged the rest of the way back to the house. I had hidden my clothes in the woods just beyond the house in case Charlie was here when I got back. I pulled on my t-shirt over my gym shorts and then shoved my feet into my shoes. My story was that I had been on a run.

I walked in the back door and Sue was there doing dishes. "Hey, Sue," I said as I closed the door.

She smiled and greeted me with, "Hi, honey." I liked that about her. How she always made me feel like I was one of her kids. She had tried hard over the years after my mom died to let us know she was there for us. I grabbed a dish towel and started drying.

"Thanks, Jake. You do this at home, too?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am. I told Leah from the start I didn't expect her to do all the cooking and cleaning. Although, I have to admit, I really prefer her cooking. She is a great cook!"

"Yes, she is. When she was younger, she spent a lot of time with my mom. That's where she learned to bake bread."

"Oh man, that stuff was great! I told her she had to make that at least once a month," I admitted with a grin.

She laughed. "Well, good luck with that. When that baby gets here, she'll be lucky to get a shower once every day or so."

"I'll help with the baby, too. I want to be a good dad," I told her honestly. I really did. I wanted to be there for whatever this baby needed from me.

She put down the pan she was washing and looked at me. "Good. I think you will be, Jacob. But it won't be easy. You have a lot on your plate."

"I know," I said somewhat glumly.

She smiled at me. "You do seem a lot older than 19 sometimes." I smiled at that. "But, don't forget that your family comes first, no matter what. Leah and the baby need to be your top priority."

"They are. I promise you that."

"So when are going to marry her?"

I smiled and rolled my eyes. I had been waiting for this. _Should I tell her? Could she keep it a secret?_ "Where's Leah?" I asked.

She gave me a curious look and said, "Upstairs with her brother. She insisted he get his homework done so they are working on his computer. Why?"

I smiled and said quietly, "I'm planning on proposing tonight. I have a ring and everything. Don't tell her."

She squealed out like Leah does when she's excited and pulled me to her in a hug. "Oh Jake! It's about time!" She let me go and I laughed. "I'm doing the best I can here, Sue."

She touched my cheek and said, "I know you are, honey. I'll be happy to have you as my son." I felt tears sting my eyes all of a sudden. I missed my mom so much right now. I finally choked out, "Thanks." She nodded and turned back to washing the dishes.

Leah walked in just then and called out, "Hey! You're back!" I set down the towel and went to take her in my arms. "I missed you," she whispered into my ear. "I missed you," I whispered back.

"He was helping with the dishes," Sue said. "You've trained him well," she added with a smile.

"Mom, that's not fair. He's always helped around the apartment. He does dishes and laundry and . . ."

"I know, he told me. I was just teasing him." She winked then turned back around to the sink.

Leah rolled her eyes and said, "Mom and Emmy and I are going shopping for maternity clothes. Did you want to come, too?"

"Um, I think I'll see what Seth is doing. Maybe I'll hang with him today," I told her.

She smiled. "I knew you wouldn't want to go, but I didn't want you to pout and cry about being left behind."

I rolled my eyes at her and said, "Yea, right!"

She laughed and told Sue, "I told Em we would pick her up at 11:30. Is that OK?"

"Yep. I'm done here. I can go and get ready," she answered.

"OK," Leah said. And with that, Sue left the kitchen. I looked down at Leah and smiled. I couldn't wait to propose tonight. I was getting pretty excited about it. Leah looked at me with squinted eyes and asked, "What are you up to Jacob Black? You look like you're planning something." _Shit! I could never hide things from her!_

"Nothing. Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you. And this little baby," I added as I ran my hand over Leah's stomach.

"Yea, OK. It's your story," she said. She put her arms around my neck and leaned in to kiss me. "But you're cute, so I'll let it go." I grinned and then kissed her more thoroughly.

"Geez, guys. Can't you go for at least five minutes without sucking face?" Seth complained as he walked into the kitchen. He walked over to the fridge and took out a can of pop.

"You're just jealous, bro. Get yourself a woman," I said.

"Like I'm not trying?" he said as he popped the top and took a drink. "The girls at our school are lame. Maybe I should go to Forks tonight and try to score there."

"Seth! You sound more like Embry every day!" Leah cried.

I laughed at that. He did sound like Embry. I couldn't wait for the day that Embry imprinted. It would be amazing to watch.

"Whatever," Seth said. "I wouldn't mind a little making out. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. I just don't like you using girls just to make out. Maybe you could try caring about them a little bit?" Leah suggested.

"Ugh. Feelings stuff. I'm too young for that. I don't want to get married. I just want to fool around a little!" Leah had to laugh at that, and I did, too.

"Good man, Seth. Just don't fuck up and get someone pregnant. Be smart." Then I looked over at Leah and realized what I said. _Shit. Fuck. Damnit all to hell! _"Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I mean, Seth is only 16. He's too young to . . . "

"I know. I get it, Jake. It's OK." I looked into her face and wasn't sure she was telling me the truth. I couldn't quite read her expression.

Seth picked up his can of pop and said, "Um, yea, I'm out of here." He quickly made his exit and I looked at Leah and tried to apologize again.

"Jake, stop. I know what you meant. You're right. He's only 16. I said before I thought he was too young to have sex."

"I know, but I feel like such a jerk telling him that when we're standing here pregnant. I shouldn't lecture anyone on that. And I don't want you to feel like I just knocked you up or something. You know it's not like that, right?"

Finally she smiled. I felt relief run through me. "Yes, I know it's not like that. I'm the one that told you sex could be fun, remember?"

I smiled and said, "Yea, I think I do remember that. And you were right. Sex is fun." I leaned down and kissed her long and slow. She wound her fingers into my hair and sighed. When I broke away I said, "I love you, Leah. So much."

"Mmm, I love you, too." She kissed me again and then said, "I have to go get ready to leave with Mom. I'm not sure when we'll be back."

"It's OK. You have fun. But save me some time tonight, OK? I was thinking about doing something different. Maybe a picnic?" I held my breath.

She smiled. That was a good sign. "A picnic? OK, sure, why not." I let out my breath and smiled. She kissed me again then left to go upstairs. _Yes! Now all I had to do was figure out what food to pack and what to pack it into. I could do this. I would make this a night that Leah wouldn't forget._


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

Jake POV:

"Jake, is this blindfold really necessary?" Leah asked.

"Yes it is. Now leave it alone. No peeking." I had her blindfolded and was carrying her through the woods.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

I smiled and said, "Trust me, OK?"

"Why is this such a secret?"

"Will you just chill and enjoy me carrying you?" I told her. She had asked me like fifty questions so far!

"Fine." She was quiet for like ten seconds. "Are we almost there?"

I just started laughing. "You're really not good at surprises, are you?"

"No, I'm not. I like to be prepared for things, OK?"

"Yes, we're almost there," I finally told her. A couple of minutes later, I walked into the clearing. "I'm setting you on your feet," I warned her. I set her down and took the basket from her that held our blanket and food. I set it on the ground and reached up to untie her blindfold. "Are you ready?" I asked.

"Hell, yes. Get his thing off of me!" I chuckled as I untied the scarf I used as a blindfold and pulled it away. She looked around and then looked at me. "What? This is . . . Jake? Isn't this the clearing where . . . we . . . where you came after she . . ."

I smiled as she stuttered. "Yes, Leah. This is the clearing where I came after Bella died. This is where you kicked my ass and made me go on living."

She looked at me very suspiciously. "Why would you choose here to have a picnic?"

I had pulled out the blanket and spread it on the ground. "'Why don't you sit down and I'll explain, OK?" She eyed me warily, but sat down on the blanket. I sat down beside her and took a deep breath. _Don't blow it, Jake. Stay cool._

"Seven months ago, I laid here in the dirt waiting to die. This exact spot, if I'm not mistaken. I felt like my whole world had just shattered and I had nothing left to live for. I couldn't have been more wrong." I took her hand and went on, "You reached out to me that night like no one had ever done before. You held me and kissed me and . . . let me take from you what I needed. I'm still amazed by what you did for me. And then you sat here on my chest and ordered me to go out and find a life that didn't revolve around her. And, so I did, with your help."

I stopped and she asked, "What's this all about? Why are you reminding me of all this?"

"Because I want you to know that I wouldn't be the man I am without you. I was a wreck that night . . . a fucking mess! And for weeks after that. You took me away from here and took care of me when I needed help. You fed me and held me when I couldn't sleep. You left me alone when I needed time, and you talked to me when I wanted to talk. You didn't lecture me or try to fix things for me. You just . . . loved me. Leah, you are so strong and your strength is what got me through all of this. I want so much to be that strength for you. I want to be there for you each and every day for the rest of your life. I want to love you and take care of you and play with you and make you smile." Tears were rolling down her cheeks and I felt them sting at my own eyes. "Leah, I love you. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. You are the perfect woman for me." I pulled out the ring box and opened it and heard her gasp. "Please say that you will be my wife. Will you, Leah? Will you marry me?"

She looked at the ring, and then into my eyes, and didn't say a word. I tried hard to read her expression, but I couldn't. Finally she shook her head and said, "No, Jake. I can't." _What? Did she just say . . . no?_

I just sat there and stared at her, dumbfounded. "What? Why?" I finally spit out.

"Jake, it took you so long to decide that you loved me, and you just came to that conclusion. How can you make the decision to get married just like that? It took you months to figure out your feelings and in one week, you're ready to marry me?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I said incredulously. I was shocked beyond belief! "I tell you everything that's in my heart, and what? You don't believe me?"

"No, Jake, I believe you meant what you said, right now. But what if next week, you have another dream, or something else pops up and you feel . . . "

"Shut up, Leah. Just stop." Her mouth clamped shut and she looked away. "I can't fucking believe this." I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath. _Calm down. Just calm down and talk her through this. Make her understand_. "OK, I get that. I was fucked up for a long time, and I understand why you're a little hesitant. But, I truly am over her. I will always miss Bella the way she was. But, I know now, that she was never mine. And what we had wasn't love . . . it was nothing like I feel for you. I can't stand to be away from you for even two minutes! I light up inside every time you smile. I ache for your body and your touch. Leah, I can tell you right now that the way I feel about you will never change. I love you now and I will love you a week from now, a year from now, a hundred years from now."

"Jake, I love you, too. I really do."

"Then what's the problem?" I shouted at her.

"It's this stupid bonding thing!" she yelled back. "OK? How do I know you love me for me and not because of this damned bond we have?"

"How do I know if you love me for me and not just because of this bond?" I shot back. "I don't! But I don't care. All I know is that I love you and I don't want to live without you."

"You're sure this isn't about the baby? Has my mother been pressuring you . . ."

"No! This isn't just because I got you pregnant and I want to please your mother."

She started to get up and I stopped her and laid her back holding her arms above her head as I straddled her on my knees. I looked down at her and said, "Look, Leah Clearwater. I love you more than life itself, OK? I love this baby that you're carrying and we will be a family, got it? I want to marry you and I know you want that too. Now quit being so damned stubborn and just admit it! Just say yes!"

Her face softened as she asked, "If I say yes, will you get the fuck off of me?" _Hadn't we been here before?_

I grinned and answered, "Yes, but you will have to mean it."

She smiled slowly. "What the hell. OK, I'll marry you."

I crushed my lips onto hers and kissed her senseless. When I pulled back, she said, "Can I see the ring now?"

I laughed and let her up. I held the box out to her again and she smiled. "Oh my God, it's gorgeous! Jake, you shouldn't have spent so much . . ."

"Don't worry," I said as I took out the engagement ring and she held out her hand. "I had some money saved up, and I got a good deal from Mr. Hansen who owns the jewelry store around the corner from Dan's." I slipped it onto her finger and couldn't believe it was a perfect fit. In fact, that's what Leah said. "Wow, it's a perfect fit!" I smiled and she said, "That's funny. That's what Rach said about us. You and me. She said that it was like we were born to be together. That we just fit."

I liked that. "Yea, I guess we do just fit."

She looked at me and ran her finger across my lips. "I do love you, Jake. So much. I'm sorry I messed up your proposal."

"It's OK. Just promise you won't back out on it. I couldn't take it if you ever left me. I meant everything I told you tonight. You have to believe that."

She leaned in and kissed me softly. "I promise, Jacob Black. I will never leave you. You are stuck with me."

She held her hand out to admire the ring. "It really is beautiful. And this will make Mom so happy! Of course, her first question will be, 'When are you getting married?' "

"Well, when do you want to get married? Before the baby is born? After?"

She was quiet for a moment then she looked into my eyes and said, "Right away. As soon as possible. There's really no reason to wait."

I smiled. "My feelings exactly. I can't wait to make you my wife." Then I leaned in and kissed her long and slow. She moaned a little into my mouth and I felt that vibration kick in. I laid her back onto the blanket and took my time kissing her lips. She had her fingers tangled in my hair and her tongue was slowly licking my bottom lip. I loved how she could turn me on so easily. I drew back and sat up and pulled my shirt off over my head. Leah sat up and did the same. Then she reached around behind her and unhooked her bra and pulled it off. I smiled at her and she said, "Don't get used to these. You know they belong to the baby after it's born."

I laughed and said, "Yea, OK. But they'll be mine again someday."

We did away with the rest of our clothes and laid naked on the blanket under the stars. We took our time and made love to each other until our bodies ached to be joined. Leah rolled me onto my back and moved on top. She smiled down at me as she took me inside and began moving. She threw her head back as she moved and I marveled at how beautiful she looked. I reached up and rubbed her breasts with my palms as she moved harder and faster until she cried out and I could feel her tighten around me. That's when I let go and felt my body shudder. She fell onto me and tried to catch her breath. I held her tight and rolled us to lie on our sides, facing each other. I gazed into her eyes and smiled. She smiled back and said, "I'm going to like being married to you."

I laughed and said, "Really? Is that what marriage is all about? Sex, sex and more sex?"

"God, I hope so!" she said with a big smile.

I laughed again and hugged her to me. "Me, too. I don't know if you've noticed, but I've become rather fond of it."

She pulled back and said, "Really? I hadn't noticed. But you have gotten really, really good at it."

"Yea? Well, I learned from the best."

"Oooh, good answer," she said with a sly smile. Then she leaned into to kiss me and I suddenly couldn't wait to get married.

Leah POV:

Mom was thrilled when I showed her the ring! She and Charlie hugged us both and congratulated us. And then, "So, how soon is the wedding?" I rolled my eyes and looked at Jake as he laughed. "What?" Mom asked. "I'm sorry, but I want to know!"

"It's just that I told Jake that would be the first question you would ask when I showed you the ring. I know you so well," I told her.

She laughed at that then said, "So? When?" Sue Clearwater-Swan does not give up that easily.

I looked at Jake and he said, "As soon as possible. We don't see any reason to wait."

"Good. I don't either. Let's talk details," Mom said. "Let me get a notebook so we can write things down." She got up to get a notebook and Charlie looked at us.

"Well, good luck. She told me our wedding was going to be a small affair and you saw how that turned out," he said with a chuckle.

Mom came hustling back into the room with a notebook and a pen and said, "OK, so where do you want to do this."

I looked over at Jake. He just shrugged so I said, "Here. I want to have the ceremony right here in this house."

Mom looked at me in horror. "Here? But, honey, how are we going to fit everyone into this house? Don't you want a church wedding? Fancy dress, flowers, music, the whole works?"

"Mom, have you met me? Do you really think I'm the kind of girl that wants all that frilly stuff? No. I want a simple ceremony with just our family around us." I turned to Jake and said, "Do you think your dad would marry us as a tribal elder?"

He raised his eyebrows at that. "I don't' know. I can ask him I guess."

Mom sighed and wrote down, _Ceremony here at house. Things to do . . ._

"Mom, I promise, Jake and I will help you clean the house and we can push all of the furniture into the garage and set up chairs here in front of the fireplace. I can have Seth walk me down the stairs. It will be great. It's what I want."

She smiled then and said, "OK then. If it's what you want, we'll make it work. But we need to pick out a date."

"Well, we are coming home again at the end of April for another doctor's appointment. Why don't we do it then. The last Saturday in April. Does that give you enough time?"

"Um, well, if we send out the invitations right away, and we order the cake and oh, honey, you'll need a dress," Mom started writing furiously in her notebook as she talked. Charlie smiled and said, "Here we go."

Jake and I laughed as Mom just kept writing. Jake had his arm around me and he pulled me to his side and put a kiss on my head. I didn't care about any of the stuff Mom was writing down. I just wanted to be with Jake – forever.

The next week, Mom called and told me she was driving to Seattle to help me look for a wedding dress. She would be here early Saturday morning and we would shop until we found something. I hung up the phone and told Jake and he smiled. "I liked the last dress she picked out for you."

I smacked him as I thought of that horrid red dress I had worn to Mom's wedding. "Yea, sure you did. My boobs were falling out of it all night!"

"Were they?" he asked innocently. "Hmm, I guess I didn't notice." Then I jumped on him and started playfully smacking him and he caught my arms and started kissing me. I found myself laid back on the couch with Jake on top of me and he said, "I did notice. Pick a dress that shows some cleavage, will ya?" I laughed as he started kissing me again.

I gave Mom directions on how to get to our apartment and she showed up right on time. Seth surprised us by coming along to keep Jake busy. He seemed really happy about that. The Mariners had just opened their baseball season, so Jake asked Seth if he'd like to go to the game. He was so excited I was afraid he would pee his pants! Mom and I left the guys to their game and hit the stores.

Shopping with Mom was like a sport. You had to be in good shape to keep up with her! We hit the mall and went to several stores. Mom was determined that I should have a real wedding dress. But I thought it was stupid to spend a bunch of money on a dress like that to wear for one day! I wanted something more practical, and something that would hide my baby bump. It was pretty noticeable now, and I was wearing maternity clothes. I wasn't ashamed that I was pregnant and getting married, but I really didn't want to flaunt it either.

So, we finally agreed on a pale yellow dress that was knee length, and had an empire waistline. The flowy skirt hid my baby bump so I was happy with that. It had really pretty beading on the bodice, and it showed SOME cleavage, but not near as much as the dress I had worn to Mom's wedding! I was happy with it, and so was Mom. We bought some shoes to match and then Mom found a dress that she wanted to buy for the wedding. We shopped, ate lunch, shopped some more, and finally around four, I told her I was done. She laughed and admitted she was tired, too, so we headed back to the apartment.

The boys were still at the game, so we cooked some dinner and waited for them to get back. They pulled in around six-thirty and Seth had to tell us all about the game. Mom had made her famous baked macaroni and cheese and so Seth was trying to talk as he shoveled food into his mouth. Finally Mom said, "Seth! Either talk or eat, but don't do both at the same time. It's pretty gross."

Jake really laughed at that one as Seth laughed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He took a break from eating to finish his story then he ate some more.

"You know, I haven't followed baseball for a long time, but I really had fun today," Jake added. "We should go to a game sometime, Leah. I think you'd like it."

Baseball. Yea. "Or maybe Seth can come back and go again," I suggested. Jake just smiled as Seth said, "Sure! I'll come back." It was good to see my little brother so happy.

After dinner, Mom and Seth left to make the long drive back to LaPush. "I'm glad they came here today," Jake said as we were sitting on the couch after the left. "I had a good day. How about you?" he asked me.

"Are you kidding? Shopping with Sue Clearwater-Swan? Man, it's worse than running a double patrol!" He laughed at that. "No, it was good. I enjoyed spending the day with her. But I am tired." Jake pulled my legs up and took my foot into his hands and started rubbing. "Oh my God, that's better than sex," I groaned.

"Really? Better than sex?" Jake asked.

I looked at him and said, "OK, not better, but pretty damned close." He laughed that deep-toned laugh I loved so much and kept rubbing. After awhile he rubbed the other foot and I found myself slipping away toward sleep. I felt him pick me up in his arms and carry me to the bedroom. He undressed me and helped me get under the covers. Then he undressed himself and crawled into bed beside me. I felt him kiss me on the forehead and say, "Good night, baby."

I mumbled, "Good night," as I snuggled close to him. I fell asleep thinking how lucky I was to have Jake.

I decided to ask Rachel to be my maid of honor. When we were young, Emily and I had made a pact to be each other's maid of honor. But, well, that just didn't feel right anymore. I hadn't even gone to her wedding! I was too chicken. And Rachel was going to be my sister and we had gotten kind of close lately, so I called her. She was thrilled that I asked her! When I hung up the phone, I decided I was very happy with my choice.

Jake called Embry and asked him to be his best man. He shouted, "Hell, yea!" so loud, I could hear it as Jake held the phone away from his ear! Jake grinned as he hung up and said, "Um, yea, so, I guess he'll do it." We both laughed.

Then I called Seth to ask him if he would give me away. His answer? "I've been trying to do that for years!"

"Ha, ha, little brother, very funny."

"I don't have to wear a tux or anything, do I?"

"No. You can just wear the suit that you wore to Mom's wedding."

"OK. Whatever. Can I bring a date?"

"What is with you lately? Geez. Girls, girls, girls. Is that all you think about?"

"You have no idea, Leah."

"Ew, OK. Enough."

"So, can I?"

"Yes, you can bring a date! Geez."

He laughed at that and we hung up. I thought how hard it would be for me on that day not to have my dad there. Every girl dreams of the day she gets married and looks forward to having her dad walk her down the aisle. I wouldn't have that. But at least I would have my brother to fill in. I smiled as I thought about that. We had gotten closer the last few weeks and I guess I was happy that he would be there for me that day.

The next couple of weeks flew by as Mom and I continued to make wedding plans over the phone. She had Seth email a bunch of pictures of wedding cakes to us and told me to pick one I liked. Jake and I looked over all of them and picked one out and sent it back. Then we had to pick a flavor! We settled on a white chocolate cake with a butter cream and raspberry filling. Then she wanted to know about flowers!

"Mom, look. This is supposed to be a simple ceremony with just family. I don't want flowers."

"Well, you need a bouquet, don't you?"

"Fine, I'll carry a bouquet. A SMALL one. Nothing fancy."

"Did you ask Rachel to be your maid of honor yet?"

"Yes, I did. And she is just as excited as you are. If you need help with anything, call her."

"I will do that."

"Oh, and Jake asked Embry to be his best man. Rachel is going to take care of finding him clothes for the wedding. She has a nice black dress that I told her she could wear."

"Black? Are you serious, Leah? Black is for funerals," Mom said with disgust.

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, again, small ceremony. I don't want her to have to go out and buy some dress that she'll never wear again. And it will look good in the pictures. Black and yellow. I like it."

I heard her sigh. "Alright. It's your wedding. You're right. Do you have a photographer?"

"Yes, I asked Kim. She got a new fancy digital camera for her birthday, and she's really good with it. She showed me some pictures that she had taken and I was blown away! I asked her if she would take pictures at the wedding and she was very excited to say yes."

"OK, then. Well, I think we have everything covered. Um except one more tiny thing." I sighed. _Now what? _"It's about the guest list. I know you wanted only family, which includes the pack of course, but what about your favorite step-sister and her family?"

Oh God. I was trying hard to avoid this and now, here it is. "I don't know, Mom. I know Charlie will wonder if we don't invite her, but can I really put Jake through that on our wedding day? I mean, he's told me he's over her and he's put it behind him, but . . ."

She interrupted with, "You're inviting Sam and Emily. You've put that behind you right?"

_Arrrrggggg! _"Yes, but that's different! He's not a fucking leech!"

"Leah! Language!"

"I'm sorry. Look, send her an invitation I guess and I just hope to God she's smart enough to be in Europe that day." _She would realize that Jake wouldn't really want her there, wouldn't she?_

"Alright. I'm sorry, honey, but I want to be fair. I've been trying very hard for Charlie's sake to include Bella in family functions, and believe me, it's not easy for me either knowing what she is. But they have been very good to us, so I think I should return the favor."

"Whatever. I get it." I did. Didn't mean I had to like it. "Include Carlisle and his wife, too. I mean, Carlisle has been good enough to take me on as a patient. The least I can do is invite him to my wedding."

"OK. Done. It's getting closer. Are you getting excited?" she asked.

I smiled at that. I never thought I would be the kind of girl to get all giddy over her wedding. But I was starting to feel that way. "Yes, Mom. I am. I have to admit, I am really looking forward to this."

"Good. You should be. It should be one of the happiest days of your life," she said. After what we just talked about, I hoped it still would be.

"Mom? Thank you for all you've done. I really appreciate it," I said.

"Oh, honey, you're welcome. I've looked forward to this day since you were a little girl. I just want you to be happy."

"I am. I really am." We finished our call and I sat down on the couch and thought about how next weekend, I would be Mrs. Jacob Black_. Leah Black. Leah Clearwater-Black._ _Did I really want to hyphenate? I kind of did. I was proud of my Clearwater heritage and I really wanted to keep that. Would Jake care? No. He was proud of it, too. _I smiled and leaned back and put my hands on my stomach. A husband and a baby. If anyone had asked me a year ago if I thought I would ever get married and have children, I probably would have decked them. I never thought I would have this. And now, here it is. I was absolutely amazed at how much my life had changed.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Leah POV:

"Honey, I'm home!" I heard as Jake came through the door. He thought that was so cute. And it was . . . the first thirty or so times that he did it. Now it was . . . OK, it was still kind of cute. I was in the kitchen putting clothes in the dryer as he walked over to me and planted a kiss on my cheek. "Mmmm, I love coming home to the smell of food. What's for dinner?"

I turned to him and smiled. "I put a roast in the crock pot today before I went to work." He kissed me on the lips and smiled. "OK. I'll clean up and be right back." I watched him walk to the bathroom and sighed. I closed the door to the dryer and turned it on then stepped back over to the counter. My sight fell on the thick cream envelope that came in the mail today that was still lying on the counter where I had thrown it. It had been taunting me for two hours now as I fought with myself over wanting to first, throw it in the garbage and pretend it never arrived, and second wanting to rip it open and read it, and third, torching it just to watch it burn. But, I maturely just let it lay there as it was addressed to Jake, so it would be up to him to decide what to do with it.

The bathroom door opened and Jake walked out through the living room, naked of course, to the bedroom. Wow. I still loved that sight. His body was like a piece of art. You couldn't help but stop and appreciate the beauty.

A few seconds later, he reappeared in a pair of gym shorts and an old LaPush High School gym t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. He came up behind me in the kitchen and snaked his arms around my waist and put his lips on my neck. I put down the plates I had pulled out of the cupboard and turned in his arms. He smiled and leaned down to kiss me. I let his lips move over mine as my body automatically leaned into his. It was as natural as breathing. Finally he pulled back and said, "I'm hungry. Let's eat."

I smacked his ass as I picked up the plates to take to the table. "Tease." I had to smile as he grinned. He had the greatest shit-eating grin in the world.

I glanced at the envelope on the counter again. Should I give it to him now or after . . . "Hey, what's this?" I glanced up from setting the table to see him holding the envelope. Well, I guess that answers my question. I shrugged. "It came in the mail today," was all I said. He walked slowly over to the couch and sat down staring at the envelope. There was no return address, but there was no need for one to know who it was from. I wondered if I should leave him alone with it or if he would want company. He answered that by saying, "Leah? Will you come here and sit with me?"

"Sure," I returned as I walked over and sunk down beside him. He stared at it for a few minutes longer then I heard him pull a deep breath into his lungs as he turned it over and ran a finger under the flap to open it. He pulled out a couple of thick cream colored pages and unfolded them. He looked at me warily and I put my hand on his leg and squeezed to let him know that I was right here and I wasn't going anywhere. A look of thanks flashed in his eyes before he turned them back to the paper. I wasn't sure if I should, but since he asked me to be here with him, I peeked over his shoulder to read along with him:

_Dear Jacob,_

_I have been wondering what to do ever since the wedding invitation arrived in the mail. First of all, I want to tell you that I am happy for you. You deserve to be with someone who will love you and marry you and give you babies. You and Leah are both Quileute and you have so much in common and I know how thrilled your parents must be. And Charlie. He has always loved you like a son. Now, you can be that to him._

_I'm pretty sure that this invitation wasn't from you or Leah. I have a feeling that Sue did this as a peace offering. She has been trying to be a good step-mother, even though I know how hard it is for her knowing what I am now. She comes to the house with Charlie, but she is never comfortable here no matter how hard Esme tries to make her be. I do appreciate her kindness. She has made my father very happy. _

_In saying all of that, I want you to know that we won't be coming to your wedding. I just can't do it. I'm a coward. I can't stand the thought of seeing you standing beside her, pledging to love her until death do you part. I am selfish. I want to be the bigger person and stand there and congratulate you both and wish you many happy years together, but I can't. I miss you so much, Jacob. More than I ever thought possible. I am glad that you have found someone to love and I do want you to be happy. But I can't be a witness to it. I am too weak. If only I could have cut myself in half somehow to be with both of you. What a weird thought, huh? If only . . ._

_We are leaving for Europe today. We should be in France as you read this. It seems really strange to write that. France! We will travel as long as Reneesme is strong enough. _

_Please know that I will always love you. You'll always be my best friend. _

_Bella_

The silence in the room was deafening. I could hear the humming of the refrigerator and the ticking of the clock in the bathroom. A car horn outside on the street startled both of us out of our stupor. Jake finally looked at me and shook his head in disbelief. "How like her," I heard him whisper as he pushed himself off of the couch. I watched as he took the letter and envelope to the kitchen and ripped them into pieces then threw them into the trash can. I sat there stunned. I really thought he would be sad. Confused maybe, or retrospective. But he was pissed! He slammed his fist down on the counter and I held my breath, really hoping the counter wouldn't crack or break. Thankfully it was stronger than I thought.

I made my way toward him as he looked up at me. "She just doesn't get it, does she?" he asked. "And don't pretend you weren't reading right along with me."

I smiled at that. He knew me too well. "Oh Jake. I think that letter is the most honest she has ever been. She finally admitted to being a selfish coward. She'll never fully let you go. You have to know that."

"I don't know why! She made her choice. She has Edward! She has her freaky baby! She's a fucking leech! She has everything she wanted."

"Except you. She never thought you would actually walk away, Jake. And it's killing her. Oh wait, she's already dead." He rolled his eyes at me as I smiled. "Sorry, couldn't resist."

"I know. I was so wrapped up in her for so long, and now . . . I just want her to go away and leave me alone." He stepped over and pulled me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his shoulder. "God, I'm so glad I have you. Do you have any idea what you saved me from?"

I smiled against his shoulder. "Yes, I do. Do you?"

He pulled me away from him to look into my eyes. "Yes, I finally think I do. Thank you, Leah. Thank you for kicking my ass and helping me to find the life I have. I love you. So much." His lips found mine in a very tender kiss.

"I love you, too, Jake. Our life is going to be good. I promise you."

The weekend finally arrived, and we packed up our stuff and hit the road for LaPush. Jake had insisted on buying a suit for the wedding. It was in a garment bag, lying on the back seat. He did it all by himself without my help. He told me if he couldn't see my dress then I couldn't see the suit. Mom had insisted on taking my dress home with her. She didn't trust me not to show it to Jake, and since even as an adult I am still scared of my mother, I let her.

We had our doctor's appointment with Carlisle first, and he told me I was doing fine. The baby's heartbeat was strong, and I had been good and only gained three pounds, so things were right on schedule. He wanted to do another ultrasound next time, so he told me he would set that up.

"Awesome. I've been reading online about the baby and by next month we should be able to tell the sex," Jake said excitedly.

I looked over at him with surprise. _He had been reading about the baby? I had no idea._ "Yea, but I'm not sure I want to know. I kind of want to be surprised." I really hadn't assigned a sex to the baby yet. I kind of just thought of it as "baby." I wasn't sure I was ready to think of it as a boy or a girl.

"Really? Oh." Jake seem disappointed.

I rolled my eyes and saw Carlisle smile at me. "OK, I have a month to think about it, I guess," I told them. Jake smiled at me. That meant he had a month to try and convince me. He so liked a challenge.

"I wanted to thank you both for inviting Esme and me to your wedding. We are looking forward to it," Carlisle shared with us.

I nodded and tried to smile. I never thought I would have vampires at my wedding. It still creeped me out. At least there would only be two, thank God. "Good, then we'll see you later," I got out.

We said our goodbyes and walked out toward the front of the hospital. "I'm amazed at how comfortable you are with Carlisle for a doctor. To have a leech touch you like that," Jake commented.

"I know. If it wasn't for the stink, you wouldn't even think about him being a vampire." Jake chuckled at that, but it was true. Carlisle was very cool and very kind. He didn't have to take me as a patient, especially after I had been such a jerk to them during the whole "guarding the leeches" campaign. Esme had been nothing but kind by sending out clothes and food for me, and I refused to take her kindness. I guess maybe this invitation was an olive branch of some kind.

We made our way to my house and Jake helped me carry my things inside. Mom was all excited to see us and she had Seth and Charlie working overtime on the house to get everything done. I apologized to them profusely, after she left the room and Charlie laughed. "It's OK, honey. I don't mind. I want your wedding day to be just perfect. You both deserve it."

I melted for a moment. I missed my own dad so much, and yet, Charlie was really starting to work his way into my heart. I hugged him and thanked him and he mumbled, "It's OK." I noticed Charlie wasn't real comfortable with displays of affection. Unless they were from my mother. He seemed real comfortable with those.

Mom worked us all like slaves until dinner. The guys insisted on giving Jake a bachelor party, so he was leaving to spend the night with them then he would sleep at his dad's. I told him to keep an eye on Seth and not to let him get drunk. "None of you are really old enough to drink, you know, so don't let Paul bring a bunch of beer and try to get you all to drink it."

His chest rumbled with his laughter as he held me close. "I know. I don't even know why he tries. It takes way more beer to make us drunk than it does any normal person. He can't afford that much beer. Don't worry. We'll be fine," he assured me.

I still had my doubts, but I kissed him goodbye and told him I would miss him. Which led to some heavy making out until Seth walked in and acted like he was vomiting. We broke apart and Seth pulled Jake out of the door as I waved and told them to be good.

I, on the other hand, spent the evening at Emily's with Rachel and the girls. Emily and Kim made spaghetti and we ate and laughed and after, I found out that this was also my bridal shower! Mom showed up along with Em's sister, Anne, who was also Claire's mom, and their mom, my mom's sister, Aunt Barb. Claire was so cute. She climbed up onto my lap and told me all about how Quil had taken her to see a momma duck and her babies. "We fed them bwead and they went quack, quack, quack!" I surprised myself by chuckling as I hugged her to me. I felt a little guilty that I hadn't spent much time with Claire. She was born at a time when my life was a mess. And then Quil imprinted on her and monopolized most of her time. I was glad she wasn't holding it against me.

Everyone brought the traditional type gifts – things for the house that we didn't have yet and kitchen stuff like cookware and cookbooks. I loved them all so much for doing this. Rachel even made us play those horrible shower games that no one likes, but they feel has to be done because it's tradition. She told me to shut up and participate or she would tell the guys that I had been spilling dirt on them. I gave her a vicious glare as she passed out the sheets with "_Wedding Scramble_" printed across the top.

Em and Mom brought out cupcakes and punch and I entertained myself watching Claire and trying to calculate how much cupcake actually made it to her mouth in comparison to how much ended up on her face and dress. Emily sat down beside me. "Looking forward to that?" I laughed and asked, "Are you?"

Her face became really soft as she watched Aunt Barb try and clean Claire up. "Yea, I really am looking forward to that."

I surprised myself by thinking, _me too._ I turned to look at Em. "How are you feeling, Emmy? Better?"

"Yes. The nausea is finally letting up some. God, am I glad for that."

"Good. I feel so good now that sometimes I actually forget I'm pregnant!"

Rachel plopped down beside us and gave us a wary look. "Wait, is this the prego section of the room? Maybe I don't want to sit here."

I rolled my eyes at her and warned, "Just wait. Your turn is coming. I hope you have triplets."

She gave me a grin. "Ugh. Not yet. I'll be happy to babysit for awhile, thank you."

"Oh, and believe me, you will get that chance."

"So, you all ready for tomorrow!" Rachel said excitedly as she grabbed my hand and bounced up and down.

"Apparently, you are. Geez, Rach, chill."

"Well, I'm excited! You're marrying my baby brother tomorrow. I can't help it. This is a big deal, Leah. The Clearwater and Black families will be joined into one tomorrow." I smiled as she threw her arm around my shoulder and squeezed me close.

"Yea, that is a big deal," I agreed as I laid my head on her shoulder. Em smiled at the two of us.

The party wrapped up and Mom helped me load all of the gifts into the car. I thanked everyone as they left and stayed to help Em clean up. Then I headed home and went straight upstairs. Tomorrow would be a big day and I was beat. I needed my beauty sleep if I was going to be the beautiful bride that Jake deserved.

_Bzzzzzzz. Bzzzzzz_. I opened my eyes and saw that it was still dark. I realized that my cell phone was on vibrate and it was buzzing on my nightstand. I picked it up and answered it sleepily. "Hello?"

"Hey, baby. Come downstairs to the back door." I glanced at the clock and noticed it was after two in the morning.

_What?_ "Jake? What . . . "

"Leah, wake up and come see me." Then he hung up. I shook my head and got out of bed. I made my way downstairs to the kitchen and looked out the back door window. Jake was standing there, so I opened the door and asked, "Jake? What are you doing here?"

Jake reached out and pulled me to him as his lips crushed onto mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he whispered, "I just had to see you."

"Jake, you've been drinking. I can smell the beer. How many did you have?" I gave him a disapproving look.

He gave me a lopsided grin. "Some, but not that many. I'm not drunk, Leah. I'm just in love." He kissed me again and his tongue made its way into my mouth. I could taste the beer on his tongue. He may not think he's drunk, but I could tell he wasn't feeling any pain. He had one hand on my ass and the other was pulling my nightshirt up.

I tried to pull away from his traveling hands. "Jake, you have to go. I know you, and it won't be long before you'll have me up against the counter and I really don't want Mom or Charlie to come down here and find us like that."

There was that grin again. "I would like that," he got out as his lips made their way back to my throat.

I laughed and said, "Yes, baby, I know you would, but we can't. Not right now."

"Awwww, come on, Leah. Just a little?" As he pressed into me, I could feel how much he wanted me. He was pulling at my nightshirt again as I put my hands on his chest and pushed at him. "Jake, go home and get some sleep, please? We have a really big day tomorrow."

"Fine, Leah. Just fine!" he pouted. He stepped back unsteadily and looked at me with a strange look on his face. "Jake, are you OK?"

"I don't feel so good," he said. I pushed him outside just in time as he turned and puked into the grass. I rubbed his back as he vomited then he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked over at me. "I'm sorry. I'm such a fucking idiot."

"Yes, you are, but I still love you," I told him with a smile. "You didn't drive over here, did you?"

He shook his head. "No, I walked." Well, thank God for that.

Just then Embry came running up. "Geez, Jake, I've been looking all over for you! What are doing here? Oh, man. You hurled, didn't you?"

Jake just nodded and looked like he might do it again. He leaned to the other side of the walk and puked again. I looked over at Embry as he said, "Leah, I am so sorry. I had been keeping an eye on him then he disappeared. I didn't realize how much beer he had until just a little bit ago. I'll take him home now." He turned to Jake and put his arm around him. "Come on, big boy. Let's go home." Jake stood up and wiped his mouth again.

Jake looked at me and smiled. "I'm going home now, Leah. I need some sleep."

"Yes, you do. Be good, OK?"

"I will, I promise. " Then he reached out to hug me. "I love you so much, Leah. I really, really do."

"Me, too."

He pulled back and smiled. "I know. Isn't that cool?"

I laughed and pointed him toward Embry. "Goodnight, Jake," I said.

"Goodnight, Leah!" Embry took his arm and led him away. I rolled my eyes and shut the door and locked it.

_Damnit, Paul. If Jake is too hungover tomorrow to enjoy our wedding, I will make you suffer._

Jake POV:

"Come on, quit being such a baby. You're getting married tomorrow, bro. Have a beer with us." I finally relented just to get Paul and Jared to shut up and leave me alone. We were all sitting around a bonfire on the beach, something we hadn't done in way too long. Embry and Quil were arguing over who had eaten more hot dogs while simultaneously yelling at Seth for hogging the bag of marshmallows. Sam, Jared and Paul were sitting next to the cooler that held the beer telling dirty jokes and laughing their asses off. Sitting there looking around the fire, I realized how much each and every one of these guys meant to me. Even Paul. We were all a part of something special. Something strange and bizarre and yet, something I knew we should all be proud of. We took it for granted so much, and I had spent a lot of time looking at it as a curse. But it was what it was. We were part of a very elite group. And that brought us all together and made us brothers.

I found myself loosening up and joining in the fun. I had no idea how many beers I had actually downed. Every time I emptied one, Paul or Jared would hand me another. I was feeling pretty good, I had to admit. Even Sam's jokes were sounding funny to me now and he was terrible at telling jokes!

Next thing I know, I'm wondering over to Leah's house. Her face kept coming into my mind and I just wanted to hold her and kiss her and put her up against the door and pound into her. I didn't know if it was the beer or what, but I wanted her bad.

She opened the door to me and my hands and my lips were on her and she felt so damn good. The next thing I know, I'm puking all over her back yard! God, what a douche. Thankfully, Embry showed up and took me home and put me into a cold shower.

Now, here I am, laying in my little cramped bed in my old room, for the last time. I stared at the ceiling and smiled. From now on, I would be sleeping every night with Leah. If anyone would have suggested that a year ago, I would have decked them. There was no way I could have imagined it. Now, I couldn't imagine spending one day without her. I closed my eyes and hoped to hell I wouldn't wake up with a hangover.

"Jakey, Jakey. Wakey, wakey." I opened my eyes to slits and muttered, "Go away." I knew Rachel wouldn't give up that easy. She used to wake me up this way when I was a kid, and I hated it then, too. I felt her yank on my foot as she shouted, "Jake, you're getting married today! Get the hell out of bed!"

Oh the pain that reverberated through my head! I put my hands over my face as Rachel left the room. _Why oh why did I have to drink last night? I swear Paul did it on purpose. _I forced myself out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom to pee. I had no idea what time it was. I squinted at the clock on the wall and saw it was after ten. After I finished I made my way to the kitchen where Rachel put a cup of black coffee into my hands as I sunk down into a chair. "How's your stomach? Want something to eat?"

I shook my head and sipped the coffee. She set a bottle of aspirin along with a tall glass of water in front of me and I mumbled my thanks. I opened the bottle and poured four aspirin into my hand then popped them into my mouth and swallowed. I drank down the water then reached for the coffee. I looked over to see Rachel staring at me. "What?"

"Nothing. Just never saw you hungover before. It would be kind of funny if it wasn't your wedding day. I was contemplating calling Leah to come over and kick your ass."

"Well, its thanks to your boyfriend. He's the one that kept handing me the beer."

"Oh, so it was peer pressure. Well, why didn't you say so? Did you miss that After School Special? The one about just saying no!" she shouted loudly.

I put my head into my hands and muttered, "Can you lower your voice a little?"

"Hey, bro! Happy Wedding Day!" Embry shouted as he slapped me on the back. I winced and Embry laughed. "What's up? Got a little headache?"

_Fuck yes. How long would this last? Aren't my great werewolf healing powers good for hangovers? _I had my head in my hands as Embry sat down beside me. "Some best man you are. Why didn't you stop me from drinking so much?"

"Oh, so this is my fault. I didn't know that was in the job description, dude." I turned to glare at his grin. "Besides, you were pretty funny. Especially when you puked right in front of Leah. That was priceless!"

Rachel finally coaxed me into eating some scrambled eggs and toast and then I went back to bed for a little bit. When I woke up later, I felt much better. I walked out into the living room to find Rachel hurrying around making sure we all had our clothes ready and socks that matched our pants, and our black shoes. Then she insisted that I shower now so she could trim my hair while it was wet. I wasn't aware that I needed a haircut, but when Rach was in her bossy mode, you just kind of go with it. I took a shower then made my way back to the kitchen to sit on a chair while Rachel gave my hair a trim.

"Alright. Looks good." She finished with my hair, and I had to admit, it did look better. "Now, all of your clothes are laid out on your bed. Can you tie a tie?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Rach. I can tie my tie. Will you relax? We aren't total idiots. I think that Dad, Embry and I can actually dress ourselves and drive over to Sue's in time for the ceremony. It's MY wedding! Believe me, I don't want to miss it."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just want everything to be perfect today. You deserve it." Then her face softened as she touched my cheek. "My baby brother is getting married today. I just can't believe that you're all grown up and getting married. And having a baby!" A tear slipped from her eye and rolled down her cheek. "I wish Mom were here today. She would be so happy and so proud of you. I love you, Jakey."

I stood up and took her into my arms. "I love you, too, Rach. And I really appreciate all you've done to make sure this day is perfect. Thanks for being the best sister a guy could ever have."

She pulled back and pushed me away. "OK, enough of this! I need to get going. I'm going over to help Leah get ready. Now make sure you help Dad get dressed and then you all need to be at Sue's BEFORE three-thirty. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am. I got it." I even gave her a little salute. At least it made her smile.

"OK. I'll see you there." She planted a kiss on my cheek then picked up all her stuff and headed out the door.

"Hurricane Rachel blow out the door?" Embry said as he came up behind me. I laughed and nodded. "Thank God! I don't know how Paul puts up with that!"

"Hey, she is my sister, dude. And besides, Paul deserves it." We both had a good laugh as he grabbed a couple of cans of pop out of the fridge. "Come on. Let's chill a little before you go off and get hitched."

We plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. I was amazed at how calm I felt. Maybe it was because I knew with all my heart I was making the right choice. I knew that Leah and I belonged together and I was really happy that soon, she would be my wife.

Leah POV:

Rachel was attempting to put some spiral curls in my hair. My hair never held curl well, so she was spraying the hell out of it with hair spray. I had to admit though, it did look good. I was asking her how Jake had felt this morning. "You know I'm not too happy with Paul, right now," I told her.

She laughed and said, "I know. I told him to behave, but you know Paul. Jake woke up with a killer headache, but he was feeling much better by the time I left to come here. Werewolf magic, you know."

I rolled my eyes. "Yea, well, at least it's good for something."

Emily had loaned me a hair clip with a couple of white flowers wired to it that she had worn at her wedding. That was my something borrowed. Rachel pulled back the right side of my hair and clipped it in. "Wow, that looks great!" she said. I liked it, too. It didn't even feel strange that it was Emily's.

I did my make up while Rachel was doing my hair. As I put on my mascara, I thought, _Mom had given me the pearl earrings that she had worn at her wedding. They had belonged to my grandmother, so that was my something old. We decided my wedding dress was my something new, so all I needed was something blue._ I said that out loud and Rachel smiled. "I took care of that." She went over and reached into her purse and pulled out a blue garter. She came over and held it out to me.

"Where did you get this?" I asked.

"It was Emily's. Paul caught it at the reception. I hope you don't mind, but I didn't have a chance to get a new one. I guess that whole thing about him being the next to get married isn't true, huh?"

I smiled as I slipped it on my leg and tried not to think about Sam pulling it off of Emily's leg at their wedding. "Well, you haven't been together that long, you know."

"I know. " She looked in the mirror and fussed with her own hair.

"Do you want to marry Paul?" I asked her even though I knew they were imprints. I'm sure they would get married someday. Didn't they all?

She thought about it for a minute before she answered. "You know, it's funny. I had boyfriends in college, but I never thought about getting married. I always thought I would be the one to get out of here, make something of myself. I went away to college, got a degree. I was just going to come back here and see my family before I headed out into the world. Then, I met Paul, and suddenly, everything I thought I wanted, went right out of my head. It was so weird. I guess it's the imprinting thing." I saw a look of sadness cross her face for a moment before she said, "But, I love Paul. And I know it drives Jake crazy!" I laughed at that cause it really did drive him crazy. "I know he can be a jerk sometimes, but with me, he's really sweet and loving. And have you seen him? He is so fucking hot!" Her hand shot up over her mouth and I laughed. Rachel wasn't like the rest of us when it came to dropping the "F" bomb!

"I guess I've been a bad influence on you! Listen to your mouth," I said as I laughed at her. "I know you think he's hot. You guys make out ALL the time! You have a hard time keeping your hands off of him."

She laughed and looked a little embarrassed as she said, "I know. I've had sex before, in college. But, oh my God! With Paul . . . it's so . . . hot and . . . he knows just how to make me crazy. I can't get enough! I feel like such a slut saying that, but it's true!"

"Well, I know Jake is your brother, so I'll just say, yea, I get that. I think it has to do with the wolf thing. How do you think I ended up pregnant?"

She covered her face and said, "Oh, Leah, I don't want that picture of my sweet little brother in my head." Then she looked at me and said, "And don't worry, I've been on the pill for the last two years."

"Good girl!"

Once we stopped laughing, she said, "So yea, to answer your question, I do want to marry him. But I want to do something with my education, too. So, I talked to Dad the other day about maybe teaching at the rez school. I don't exactly have an education degree, but I have the college credits required, so, he is going to talk to the school board and get me an interview."

"Rach! I think that's great!" I stood up and hugged her. "I love that idea. You'd be really great as a teacher."

"Thanks, I hope so."

Just then Mom walked in and handed me my bouquet. "I thought you might need this."

"Mom! This is really beautiful." It was. It was pale yellow roses with greenery, tied together with a yellow satin ribbon that matched my dress perfectly. I hugged her as I said, "I love it."

She stepped back to look at me. I could see the tears in her eyes as she said softly, "You look beautiful, honey. I'm so happy for you."

"Don't start that! If you start crying, you know we'll all start crying and I just did my make up." I hadn't worn make up in so long, it had taken me a while to get it just right.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I know, you're right. It's just, this is such a happy day." Then she added, "Everyone is gathering downstairs."

"Is Jake here yet?" I asked.

She smiled and nodded. "He just got here. Honey, he looks so handsome in that suit. So grown up."

I smiled as I thought how I couldn't wait to see him.

"We borrowed a black suit for Embry, and I bought him a white shirt and black tie to match Jake. Emily told me she would make sure he looked OK," Rachel told us. "I left instructions for all of them before I left."

"Thank you, Rachel, for all you've done for us. I really appreciate all your help."

Her smile lit up her face. "I was happy to do it. It's hard for me to believe that my little brother is getting married before me! I feel like an old maid or something."

"Well you are the prettiest old maid I have ever seen," Mom told her. Rachel blushed a little, but Mom was right. Rachel looked really nice in her little black dress. I'm sure Paul had noticed.

"OK Miss Bride, let's get you dressed!" Mom commanded.

Mom and Rachel helped me get into my dress and I put on the shoes then stood in front of the full-length mirror. I was really shocked by my reflection. Here stood this woman in the place of the girl I usually saw. My hair was in place, I was wearing this beautiful dress that fit perfectly, with pearl earrings, and yes, the necklace that Jake had given me for Christmas. Mom wanted me to take it off and wear a pearl necklace, but I wouldn't. I had never taken it off, and I wouldn't do it now. I was amazed at the woman standing there. She looked so confident and so . . . happy.

Mom handed me my bouquet just as Kim peeked her head around the door. "Can I come in and take some pictures?"

"Yes! Come in," I told her. She took some great photos of me and Mom and Rachel then I sent Rachel to get Seth. He came in and I had Kim take a photo of him with Mom and me. He was wearing the suit that Mom bought him for her wedding, only with a black tie. He looked really nice.

Kim showed us the pictures she took of us and I couldn't help but see who was missing: my dad. I teared up as I thought about how proud he would be of me marrying Jake. He was the true Alpha and would be the leader of our tribe someday. Mom looked at me and said, "Honey, are you alright?"

"Yea. Just thinking about Dad and how he would be proud of me for marrying Jake."

She pulled me to her and said, "I know he's proud. You know how he felt about Jacob Black. He loved him like a son. But all he really wanted was for you to be happy. And you are, and so that is what he would be happiest about."

I looked over at Seth and could see the sadness in his eyes. I reached over and took his hand and he looked at me. We all shared a moment then Mom broke it up by saying, "Alright, let's get this show on the road! It's five minutes to four!" I felt my heart start beating just a little faster. _I was really going to do this! I was marrying Jake today!_

Rachel, Seth and I stood at the top of the stairs while Mom and Kim went down. Mom announced that we were ready to get started and everyone took their seats. I looked at Seth and he smiled at me. "You look really pretty, Leah."

I smiled and said, "Thanks, Seth. You look pretty good yourself."

"I'm sorry Dad's not here to do this for you," he said sadly.

"Me, too. But I'm glad you're here to do it for him."

He smiled and I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. I hadn't done that since he was like five! It surprised him, but he didn't wipe it off like he used to when he was little, so I was happy with that.

Then we heard the music on the CD start, and Rachel looked at me and said, "I guess that's my cue." She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "See you later, sister." I smiled and she winked at me. Mom had given her a smaller bouquet that matched mine and she held it in front of her and walked slowly down the stairs.

Seth put out his arm and I took it. "Are you ready to do this?"

"Hell yes. Let's go!" He laughed and we took a few steps to the top of the stairs. I could hardly wait to step into my new life.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

Leah POV:

As Seth and I slowly descended the stairs, I looked out to see everyone I loved standing below me, watching me walk toward them. My eyes traveled to the far end of the room to see Jake, standing there so proudly waiting for me. He did look so handsome in a black suit with a white shirt and black tie. I noticed that Mom had pinned a yellow rose to his jacket. I felt like I was floating all the way down the stairs. We stopped for a moment at the bottom so Kim could snap a picture then we walked slowly toward our makeshift altar.

Standing in front of the fireplace was Quil, Sr., Quil's grandpa, who would be conducting the service. Jake had asked Billy to do it, but he really wanted to sit back and enjoy the day. Rachel was on the left side of him now, and Jake and Embry were on the right. Jake watched me walk toward him and I felt tears sting my eyes already at the look of love he was giving me. Seth stopped us right in front of Jake. He took my hand and Jake's hand, and he put them together. Then Seth looked at me and smiled and surprised me by saying, "Love you," very quietly.

I smiled and said, "Love you, too." Then he sat down next to Mom and Charlie as I turned to Jake. He held my hand now and I looked into his eyes and showed him all of the love I was feeling for him. I felt like my heart would burst it was so full today. _How did we get here?_ It had been such a strange year, and yet everything that had happened led us to this magical moment. He smiled at me and I returned his smile and handed my bouquet to Rachel then we turned to Quil, Sr.

He started by telling us an old legend of the first chief of our tribe and how he chose his first wife. I had a feeling this would lead to Jake being the true Alpha, and I hoped he would be OK with that. Then he talked about what marriage meant to us as a people and how important children were to building our tribe. I would like to say that I really listened to everything he was saying, but I was so lost in looking into Jake's eyes. We were facing each other, holding hands, and I felt a current flowing through us. It was like our bodies were humming. I could see in Jake's eyes that he felt it, too.

I paid attention enough to say "I do" when asked if I would take Jake as my husband. I think I even agreed to "obey" him, by the grin I saw on his face. He said his "I do" and then Quil, Sr. asked for the ring. Embry handed a ring to Quil, Sr. and he went on talking about the significance of the ring in marriage. Then he blessed it and held it out on the palm of his hand to Jake who took it and slipped it onto my finger as he said, "This ring is a lasting symbol of the love we share. With this ring, I thee wed." Then he whispered, "This was my mom's wedding ring. It's like she's here with us."

I sniffed back tears and smiled at him. "Thank you. It's beautiful," I whispered. He smiled back and squeezed my hand.

Quil, Sr. pronounced us man and wife and smiled as he said, "Jacob Black, you may now claim your wife with a kiss." Jake grinned as took my face in his hands and kissed me, slowly and gently on the lips. I felt a tear slide down my cheek as he pulled away.

"Dear family," Quil, Sr. said, "I give to you Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Black." Everyone stood and clapped and some of the guys actually howled. Jake kissed me again and said, "I love you, Mrs. Black."

I smiled and said, "I love you, too." Then we were surrounded. Rachel hugged me and I told her how happy I was to finally have a sister. She hugged Jake and said, "I love you, Jakey. I'm so happy for you." He smiled and held her close. "I know Mom would be, too," she added.

"Thanks, Rach," he said.

Then Embry stepped up to me. "Wow, Leah. You look amazing. I mean, not that you don't usually look OK, but now you . . . I mean you're wearing a dress, and you don't . . . shit. I'm fucking this up. Can I kiss the bride?" I tried to glare at him, but I couldn't keep it up. I finally let out the laughter as I said, "Sure, why not." I didn't realize he would kiss me on the lips! But he did, a little longer than he should have, then he said, "You and Jake deserve to be happy. I got your backs." I smiled as I replied, "Thanks, Embry." He nodded and gave Jake a bro hug, patted him on the back and walked away.

After that, it was a long line of everyone wishing us well. Quil was holding Claire who reached out to give Jake a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek. Quil said, "Congratulations you guys. It's nice to see you both so happy." Claire held her arms out to me and I took her. "You look pwetty. Quil told me to say that." I looked up to see Quil's embarrassment.

"Oh, he did, did he? Well, that was very nice, Claire. Thank you. You look pwetty, too." She beamed and played with the flower in my hair. Quil coaxed her back into his arms by promising her a piece of cake. "I like cake!" she said as she clapped her hands together. "Bye Leah!"

"Bye Claire," I said with a little wave. Jake looked over at me and smiled as he whispered, "You're going to be a good mom."

"I hope so," I told him. "It's not like I have a choice!"

Jared gave Jake a high five and a bro hug then kissed me on the cheek. We never had much to say to each other, so it surprised me to hear him say, "You look really pretty, Leah. And happy. I'm glad."

"Thanks, Jared. I am happy." He just smiled and went to find Kim, who was busy snapping pictures of everyone. Paul stepped up and hugged Jake and commented how he looked "damned good in a suit." Then he grabbed me and kissed me hard on the lips and said, "Welcome to the family, sis." I saw the glare that Jake gave him. Before he walked away, I grabbed his arm and said, "You're lucky I don't kick your ass for getting my fiancé drunk. I really enjoyed watching him puke all over my backyard last night!"

He laughed and said, "Oh come on, Leah. We were just having a little fun. I can't help it if the dumb ass can't hold his beer, the little girl." Jake shoved him and Paul shoved back.

"Alright, knock it off. Just remember, I owe you one," I told Paul.

"I'm shaking with fear, Leah." He laughed and shook his head as he walked away. I looked at Jake and said, "Don't worry. I'll find a way to get him back. And I will enjoy it." He smiled and said, "I love it when you're evil."

Then came Sam and Emily. Emily hugged Jake and kissed him on the cheek then she stepped over to me. We looked at each other briefly then she put her arms around me and hugged me as she said in my ear, "Leah I am so happy for you today. But I'm really happy that I got to share this with you. I really missed you at my wedding."

I pulled back and said, "I know. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there. I just wasn't ready then . . ."

"I know. I didn't say that to make you feel bad. I just wanted you to know that I'm glad I have you back." And then she smiled and said, "I'm going to go help with the food."

"Thanks, Emmy," I called after her.

Then I looked up into Sam's eyes. I wondered how he would feel today. I could tell by the look in his eyes it wasn't easy for him to be here. He drew me to him for a hug as he whispered, "God, this is so hard. Harder than I thought it would be." I whispered, "I know." He put a very gentle kiss on my cheek and smiled. "Be happy, Leah."

"I am. I really am," I told him. Then he walked away saying he needed to find Emily. I looked over to see Jake talking to Charlie, who was saying that he was glad he finally could call Jake "son." I smiled at that. Then Charlie hugged me and said, "Oh Leah. You got a good one, you know that, don't you?"

I gave him a big smile. "Yes, I do. Jake is the best."

He kissed me on the cheek. "I'm happy for both of you. He got a pretty good gal, too."

"Thanks, Charlie." He patted my arm then walked off. Mom was fussing over Jake and telling him how handsome he looked and hugging him and welcoming him to the family. Seth stepped up beside me and laughed. "He's got lipstick on his cheek from Mom. Can we just not tell him and let him walk around like that?"

I laughed and smacked him. "Too late. Mom saw it and wiped it off." I heard him whisper, "Damn," and I gave him a look.

"I like Jake a lot. Thanks for making him my brother."

"Yea, that's why I married him," I said as I rolled my eyes at Seth. He kissed me on the cheek, which was a great shock, and he walked away.

Mom grabbed me and hugged me. "I am done crying, Leah. I will not cry anymore!" she told me. Then she let me go and I saw tears in her eyes. I just shook my head and smiled. "Yea, I have done enough of that, too. Let's get to the party portion of the evening, OK?" She nodded and made her way to the kitchen.

Carlisle and Esme had made it to the wedding and they approached us to add their best wishes. Jake shook Carlisle's hand and thanked him for coming. "Thank you for inviting us. It was a lovely ceremony," Carlisle replied. He then stepped over to me. "You make a very beautiful bride, Leah."

"Thank you. And thank you for all you've done for Jake and I. We really appreciate it." I did. I hate to think what would have become of Jake after the fight with the newborns. It was my fault he got hurt that day, and I was very glad that Carlisle had volunteered to come and patch him up.

"You are more than welcome," he returned warmly. Well, as warmly as a vampire can be.

Esme was talking to Jake then she turned to me. "You look lovely, Leah. Congratulations."

"Thank you. And, please accept my apology for being so rude to you before. You know, at your house. You were so kind and I was . . ."

"Think nothing of it. I understand. I really do." She smiled a dazzling smile took my hand. "I wish you only the best, Leah. Both of you."

I nodded as they moved on to talk to Charlie then I looked at Jake. He smiled and shrugged. "Nice vampires. Who would have thought?" I had to laugh at that.

Billy was the last one to congratulate us. Jake had squatted down beside his dad's chair and I could see that he was really listening to whatever it was that Billy was saying. Then Jake looked at me and motioned for me to join them. I stepped over and sat down on the chair that was beside Billy. "Dad would like to give us a blessing." I smiled at Billy and nodded.

He had us join hands then he placed his on top of them. He said a blessing in Quileute, and I sat there wishing that I had paid more attention in class when we were learning the language. I could pick out a little of what he was saying, but not all. He smiled and said in English again, "Our ancestors are smiling today. Two very strong family bloodlines were joined here today and from this union will come greatness." I smiled at Jake as he smiled at me. "And I know that your mother is smiling today, Jacob. This is something she always dreamed of."

I looked down at the wedding ring that was now on my finger. "Thank you, Billy, for letting Jake give me this ring. It's beautiful, and I love it. And I love having a piece of Sarah with me."

Billy smiled and patted my hand. Jake put his hand on top of Billy's. "Welcome to the family, Leah," Billy said.

Jake POV:

_God, she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen,_ I thought as I watched her walk down those stairs. It looked like she was a goddess of some sort, floating toward me. My heart was nearly beating out of my chest as Seth took our hands and joined them together. I was trying hard to pay attention to what Quil, Sr. was saying, but I was so distracted by Leah's eyes. They just drew me in and held me captive. I could see all of the love she was feeling right there. And that now familiar vibration was running through me as we held hands. It was humming through my whole body. I could see that Leah felt it, too. I almost missed my "I do," but caught up just in time. As I placed Mom's ring on Leah's finger, I hoped that Mom was watching somehow. My heart really ached for Mom today. I wished so much that she could be here with us.

We were finally pronounced man and wife and I could barely contain my joy as I took her face in my hands and gave her that first kiss as her husband. It was everything it should have been. Everything I had always wanted. It was what I could never have had with Bella.

I had thought of her briefly today. I was so glad that she wisely stayed away. I had done my grieving for my Bella. She was gone forever. It was almost like she was a dream that was glorious at one time, but was now fading. I knew I would always love her, but she wouldn't haunt me like before. Leah had my heart now and forever. She was everything to me.

We had our special moment with the special people in our lives, and then Kim asked us to pose for some pictures. She took several of Rachel and Embry with us then she added Seth. She took several of us alone and then we took some family shots. She posed Sue and Charlie with me and Leah and Seth. Then we did some with my dad and Rachel and at Rach's insistence, we added Paul. Kim finally announced she had enough and we were done.

Sue and Emily had put all of the food out and people were helping themselves. Leah leaned over and suggested, "Let's get something to eat. I'm starving!" So was I! We made our way down the line of food and filled our plates. We found two empty chairs and sat down to eat. I made sure we spread like 10 napkins all over Leah so she wouldn't get any food on her beautiful dress.

Seth pulled up a chair and joined us and Leah asked him about the bachelor party last night. I cringed for a moment at the thought of last night. I have no idea why I drank so much beer! I had never done that before, but Paul and Jared started in on me and I just kept up with them. "It was alright. Embry told us a bunch of funny stories about him and Jake when they were kids, and Jared made us laugh with his impression of Sam yelling at everyone."

"So, little brother, did you drink any beer? Come on, I won't tell Mom," Leah asked him.

He shrugged. "I had one, but that stuff is so gross. I don't how Paul and Jared and Jake drank so much of it. It's disgusting." She looked over at me with raised eyebrows.

"That's right, Seth. You keep thinking that," I told him. "I'm not proud that I came over here in the middle of the night to make an ass of myself and puke all over your back yard." Seth laughed at that. "That will NEVER happen again."

"I hope not," Leah said with a smile. "Although you were pretty cute." I just shook my head and said, "I'm getting more food." I got up and walked over to the food table to fill my plate again.

Just as I finished that second plate of food, Sue came over and asked us to cut the cake. We posed for yet more pictures and fed each other a small piece of cake. Then we stepped aside for Emily and Rachel to cut the cake and put it out on plates for everyone to have some. Leah and I each took a piece and went to sit down to eat it. It was delicious!

"Oh man, this cake is so good. What flavor is it again?" I asked Leah.

"White chocolate with a raspberry and buttercream swirl."

"I could eat this everyday," I told her.

"Me, too."

We enjoyed our cake and then we milled around and talked to everyone. Sue encouraged us to go ahead and open our gifts since it was such a small crowd. So we made our way over to the gift table and did just that. It was amazing to see how much all of these people cared about us. We received some really nice things for our apartment and money, which is always nice. When we finished, Sue came over and told us that she had one more gift for us. She handed me a small box and told me to open it. I did and it was a set of keys. I looked up at her curiously and she said, "Charlie and I talked about it, and the council has talked, and we have all decided that you two should have this house." I quickly looked over to Leah to see if she knew about this. She looked just as shocked as I felt. Sue went on, "Charlie and I will move into his house in Forks. He needs to be there for work, and his house is just perfect for the two of us. But, this house comes with one stipulation." She looked over at Seth. "Seth would really like to finish school here in LaPush. So, I hope that you would allow him to live here with you."

I looked over at Leah and could see she was still in shock. I nudged her a little and she looked at me. Then she said, "Oh! Um, of course he can live here." I looked at Seth who looked very much relieved. Then Leah said, "Are you sure, Mom? I mean, you're just giving us this house?"

She laughed and said, "Yes, I am giving you this house. Just take it and say thank you."

Leah and I exchanged looks then said, "Thank you!" I couldn't believe it! This was one of the nicest houses on the rez. Sue hugged us both and told us that she hoped we were as happy here as she had been all these years. I was blown away!

After that, Leah stood on the stairway with her back to the crowd and threw her bouquet. It went right at Rachel who caught it with a smile. She turned to Paul and held it up for him to see as he grinned and yelled, "Alright, baby!" I was going to have to face the inevitable. He would be my brother someday.

Then Leah turned around and started pulling her skirt up ever so slowly. She pointed her finger at me and wiggled it at me to come over and pull the garter off of her leg. I just rolled my eyes and walked over and put my leg up on the step. She put her foot on my leg and I pulled the garter off of her leg and held it up. "Come on, guys! Who wants this?"

Paul stepped up and said, "I already caught it once. Do I really have to try again?" Rachel smacked him and told him yes. He grinned and stepped up. I turned around and threw it over my shoulder and then looked to see Embry try to jump in front of Paul to get it. Paul shoved him and grabbed it at the last minute. He held it up in victory and grabbed Rachel and kissed her very inappropriately. Jared shouted, "Get a room!" To which Paul answered, "Which one?" as he jokingly headed for the stairs.

I just looked at Leah and cringed. She laughed and kissed me.

The party broke up and people left. Paul and Jared loaded up the chairs to take back to the rec center while Emily, Rachel and Kim all helped Sue and Leah put all the food away and clean up. Embry and Quil helped me load the wedding gifts into the car. Finally all that was left was Charlie, Sue and Seth and us.

Finally, Sue came up to us and said, "As our gift to you, the three of us are leaving and spending the night at Charlie's house in Forks. You get the house to yourself until tomorrow. We'll come back around three to finish cleaning up."

Leah smiled and hugged her mom. "Thank you so much for all you've done, Mom. You're the best."

Seth came over to us before they left and asked, "Are you sure you're OK with me living here with you?"

"Sure, sure," I said. "This is your home, bro."

Leah smiled and said, "It'll be great! You can do the two a.m. feedings and change diapers and . . ."

"Look, guys," Seth started, "I don't mind helping out with the baby, but I am NOT changing shitty diapers. That's asking too much."

Leah and I both laughed as he walked out the door shaking his head.

There were more hugs all around then they left. I looked over at Leah and she gave me her most beautiful smile. I walked over and took her in my arms. "Look at you. You are so beautiful. And now . . . you are my wife. Did I really say that? My wife?"

"Mmmm, hmmm, and you are my very handsome husband." I kissed her on the lips, long and slow. Then I scooped her up in my arms and carried her upstairs.

I put her on her feet inside her room. We looked around in amazement as her room was lit with candles, and the bed was turned down and there were yellow rose petals scattered over it. She looked at me and said, "Rachel." I smiled and nodded.

I had shed the jacket and tie downstairs and now Leah was working on each of the buttons on my shirt very slowly. She pulled it out of my pants and when it was completely undone, she flattened her hands onto my stomach and ran them up my chest to my shoulders where she gently pushed the shirt down my arms until it hit the floor. She leaned forward and put tiny kisses over my chest as she continued to graze my shoulders with her fingers. I felt that current start to spread throughout my body. She looked up at me and smiled as she reached for my belt buckle. She had it undone and worked the zipper on my pants. She ran her hand over me a couple of times until she got the response she was waiting for. Then she pushed the pants down, leaving my boxers and looked up at me. "Kiss me, Jake," she whispered. I leaned down and met her lips as she wound her arms around my neck.

She licked gently at my lips until I opened them and her tongue darted inside. Our tongues danced as our kiss deepened. She wound her fingers into my hair and pulled at it. I loved that. My hands found the zipper on her dress and I inched it downward. I pulled my mouth away from hers to whisper, "You look so beautiful in this dress, but I'm ready to see you without it." She smiled and stepped back a little so I could push it down and help her step out of it. She picked it up and laid it over her desk chair. She stood there in her strapless bra and some new white lacy panties that I had never seen before. I looked at her with a curious look and she smiled and said, "Rachel thought I needed Wedding Night panties. She told me she would try very hard not to think about her little brother taking them off of me."

I had to laugh at that. "Well, they are very sexy. I think we'll leave them on for right now." I reached around her and unhooked her bra and it fell to the floor. I ran my hands lightly down her body as I said, "Oh yea, I like this look." And I did. I could see her baby bump just above those sexy underwear, and I put my hand there. She looked down and put her hand over mine then looked up at me. "I love you, honey, very much. Can I show you?" I asked softly.

She nodded and said, "Yes, please." I pulled her close and kissed her lips. We lay back on the bed and I took my time kissing her and running my hands over her. I kept thinking how she was my wife now. I was kissing my wife! I was amazed. She took her turn putting kisses on me and touching me in all of my favorite spots. I let my hand travel down to where I knew she was aching for it to be. I stroked her and played with her until she cried out and her wetness had soaked my hand and those new panties. I couldn't wait any longer. I pulled them off of her and moved on top to enter her oh so slowly. She arched her back and pulled my head down to ravage my lips. We moved together in perfect rhythm until I felt her muscles clamp around mine. That was always my undoing, and I let go and felt the shudder go through me. When I finally caught my breath, I whispered, "I love you, wife."

She smiled as she touched my cheek. "I love you, husband." And I kissed her again and was so thankful that I had been given such a wonderful gift.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee. I opened my eyes to see I was alone. I rolled over just as Leah came walking in with a tray. I sat up and said, "Hey? What's this?"

"Breakfast in bed. Don't get used to it!" Her smile lit up the room. She was wearing my white dress shirt and, God, she looked so sexy in it. I was hard already just from waking up and now looking at her just made it stronger. She took the lamp off of her nightstand and set the tray there. It had two cups of coffee on it and two very large pieces of our wedding cake. I smiled and said, "Cake? For breakfast? Fucking awesome!"

She crawled in bed and sat beside me. "Good morning, husband," she said softly then she kissed me. I couldn't believe how much I wanted her again. I was feeling a little guilty at how I couldn't get enough of her. I didn't want to make her too sore. But she seemed more than willing when I started unbuttoning that shirt and our coffee ended up getting a little cold. When we were spent, I smiled and said, "Leah, I'm sorry. I just can't seem to get enough of you."

She laughed and said, "I know. I feel the same. Marriage is a real turn-on." I smiled and kissed her then rolled off to the side. We finally got around to eating our cake with our cool coffee then Leah settled into the pillows and declared she was taking a nap. I wrapped myself around her body and joined her.

Much later, we woke up and decided to shower. Which, we did together and it was better than any fantasy I had ever had. We finally got some clothes on somewhere around two. Leah's mom had said they would be home around three, and we decided maybe we shouldn't be running around the house naked. "We can do that this week at home," Leah reminded me with a sexy smile.

I told her last night that Dan had given me three days off, with pay, as a wedding gift. I wanted to take her somewhere for a honeymoon, but she insisted on going back to our apartment. She said that since we were moving in a couple of months, we only had so much time there, and she would really miss the place, so she wanted to spend our honeymoon there.

So, she packed up her stuff and made her bed as I took the tray downstairs to the kitchen and started doing some clean up in there. She joined me after she had dried her hair and that's where Sue and Charlie and Seth found us eating some leftovers when they came in.

"Alright, there's cake left," Seth said as walked through the door. Leah smiled and told him how we had some for breakfast. "Mom made us pancakes," he shared.

"And bacon, and hash browns," added Charlie with a smile. "Jake, I gotta tell ya. Marriage is good." He looked over at Mom and winked as she smiled and blew him a kiss. Seth looked at me and pointed his finger in his mouth like he was gagging.

I grinned at Leah and answered Charlie, "Yea? I think I'm finding that out." Leah's face turned bright red which I found very cute. They all sat down and joined us and we chatted for awhile.

Finally, I noticed the time. "I hate to break up this party, but it's almost five and we have a long drive ahead of us," I said to Leah.

She smiled and nodded. As she helped her mom clear the table, I gathered up our stuff and loaded it into the car. Soon, we wouldn't be making this trip back and forth and I had to admit that I would be sad to leave our apartment, but I was getting more anxious to be home again.

As I walked back inside, I heard Sue ask Leah, "When will we see you again?"

"Probably in another month. I have been checking in with Carlisle once a month. He's going to do another ultrasound, and Jake is going to try and convince me to let him tell us the sex of the baby."

"You don't want to know?" I could see that Sue was surprised by that. Maybe I could get her on my side.

I raised my eyebrows at Leah to show her I liked that Sue was curious. She stuck her tongue out at me and then turned back to her mom. "I guess I kind of want it to be a surprise. You didn't know when you had me, did you?"

"No, I didn't. I see your point."

"Come on, Sue, don't give in. It would be cool to know before hand. We would know what color to paint the nursery and you would know what kind of clothes to buy . . ." I said enticingly.

Leah grabbed my arm to turn and push me toward the door. "Well, we have to get going. See you next month."

Sue just laughed as she hugged Leah. "OK. Take care of yourself, honey. You, too, Jake."

"Drive safe," Charlie added as we walked outside.

As we made our way to the car, Leah glared at me. "Nice going, Jake. Getting Mom on your side. You are evil, mister." She opened the car door and climbed inside. As we were buckling in, I told her, "If you don't want to know, then we'll tell Carlisle that we don't want to know. I'm just kidding around. I don't want you to be upset about it."

She rolled her eyes at me. "I'm not mad. I'll think about it, OK? You don't have to sic Mom on me."

"Alright. Deal."

As we turned onto the road, Leah looked over at me and said, "I can't wait to get home." I grinned at her. Suddenly, I couldn't either.


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: I just wanted to take a moment and thank all of you loyal readers. I'm so glad that you are enjoying this story and I really appreciate all the love you give me in your reviews! Thanks!_

CHAPTER 18

Leah POV:

Our honeymoon at home was just what I wanted. We ate when we were hungry, we slept when we were tired, and we walked around naked if we wanted to. Well, Jake did. And we made love, a lot. And everywhere: on the couch, in the shower, and one night, in the kitchen up against the counter. It reminded me of that weekend before Thanksgiving when we decided to have sex for the first time then we spent two days locked up in the apartment doing just that! I reminded Jake of that on the second night. We were sitting in bed eating cold pizza out of the box.

"Man, that was a great couple of days. But I have to tell you, I was so scared that first time. I had no idea what I was doing."

I gave him a sly smile. "Well I think you had some idea what you were doing because I seem to remember liking it very much."

There's that grin I love. "I had a very good teacher." He threw his crust into the box and set the box on the floor then turned to me. "Want to teach me something new?"

I laughed as I said, "What could I possible teach you that you don't already know? You've even taught me a thing or two over the last few months you know. I'm not the sex expert you make me out to be."

"Well, then, maybe we should find something new together." I felt a smile creep across my face. Sometimes I had to remember that he was just a hormonal teenage werewolf. He crept over and put a soft bite on my shoulder as I smiled and took his face into my hands.

"What did I do to deserve you, Jacob Black?" His lips brushed mine gently and he whispered, "I could ask the same thing."

Whatever we did, I'm glad we did it. I had never been so happy in all my life.

Finally, by Wednesday, I told him I had to take a break. I was physically exhausted. So, I soaked in a hot bath while Jake made me dinner. He insisted on making me meat loaf because he knew it was my favorite. He had made it for me before, and I have to say, it wasn't bad.

He came into the bathroom with a hot cup of tea. He set it down on the edge of the tub, kissed the top of my head and started to walk out. "Jake! Wait." I called.

He turned. "What?"

"Can you sit down and talk to me while I soak?" I asked.

His lips curled into his familiar smile. "Sure, sure." He sat down on the floor and leaned up against the wall opposite me. "What's up?"

"I've been thinking more and more about us moving back to LaPush. If we are going to do it, we should move back in time for the baby to born there. I mean, I should be closer to Carlisle when the time comes, you know? So, if I'm due in August, we should think about moving back by the first of July. What do you think?"

He nodded. "Yea, I think that's a good plan. Are you OK with Carlisle being your doctor and delivering the baby?"

"Yes, I am. He's been really good to me, and he understands what I am and what we're going through. If he's willing, I want him to do it. Weird, huh?"

"Yes and no. I hate to admit it, but I kind of like the guy." He smiled at that thought. "He was really nice to me when I was hurt. He not only patched me up, but he came back and checked on me, like he really cared. I remember being pissed at first, having a vamp take care of me, but . . . I don't know. He grows on you, I guess."

"Yea, I know what you mean." I took a sip of my tea. _Wow, I could really get used to this. Hot baths, tea, Jake cooking dinner._ I told him that and he laughed. "I spoiled you now, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did, and I love you for it. Thank you. You're very sweet."

"Yep, that's my middle name. Jacob Sweet Black." And then the grin.

I laughed hard at that one. He did, too. Once we settled down again he said, "I still can't believe your mom just gave us her house."

"I know, right? She never said anything to me. I was just as shocked as you were." I was! It was very generous of her and Charlie. "Are you sure you're OK with Seth living with us? I mean, we are newlyweds. And I know how much you like walking around naked . . . "

He just smiled at me. "Well, maybe we'll just declare Saturday as 'Naked Day,' and if he doesn't like it, he can go somewhere else for the day." I laughed at that. Just then, the timer on the oven when off. Jake jumped up and jogged toward the kitchen. I stood up and got out of the tub and dried off. I dressed in a tank top and some loose sweats then towel dried my hair and made my way to the kitchen.

"Dinner ready yet?" I asked.

"Almost," he answered. I grabbed the milk out of the fridge and put it on the table. I was trying to drink more of it for the baby. I poured some into both of our glasses then sat down to wait for Jake. He put the food on the table and said, "Dig in!"

Everything was really good and he beamed with pride when I told him so. My appetite was getting back to normal now and I ate almost as much as Jake! There were no leftovers to put away. We did the dishes then sacked out on the couch to watch a little TV.

Tomorrow, Jake was going back to work, and our life would go back to normal. Carol had given me some time off, too, for our honeymoon. She wished us the best, and told me she wouldn't put me on the schedule until Friday, so I had one more day off. Jake was rubbing my feet and I was in heaven right now. "I'm going to miss you when you go to work tomorrow," I murmured.

"That's just because you'll miss this and all of the other things I do to your body."

Well, he had me there. But I really liked just being with him. "Well, of course. But it's not just that. I like just being with you and talking to you. I don't just love you, Jake. I really like you."

He shook his head and stared at me. "You don't just love me. You like me? What the hell does that mean?"

"Well, you know how you can love someone, but you can't stand to be around them all the time? Like, I love Seth, but sometimes he still bugs the shit out of me! But it's not like that with you. I can be around you all the time."

He chuckled at that. "Well, I hope so! You're kind of stuck with me now, you know." He put my feet back down on the floor and leaned over to move closer to me. His hands surrounded my face as his lips closed over mine. I sighed as he kissed me. I felt like that would never get old. I loved the feel of his lips on mine. I wound my fingers into his hair as he kissed down my cheek and throat and then into my cleavage. He looked up at me and smiled that beautiful Jake smile. "Let's go to bed, Mrs. Black. Suddenly, I am very tired."

"That's funny. You don't look tired. You look horny." I loved the sound of his deep-toned laugh. He stood up and dragged me with him and then threw me over his shoulder.

"OK, I'm horny. Let's go, wife!" I pretended to beat my fists on his back, but as soon as he set me down and took me in his arms, I showed him how much I would always want him, too.

Jake went to work the next morning as I slept in. I wanted to make the most of my day off. I spent the day cleaning and doing our laundry and putting away our wedding gifts. I decided to go out in the afternoon to the little book store in our neighborhood and buy some thank you notes. I also bought a decaf latte and enjoyed a little time looking over the books. I found myself in the section with the pregnancy books, so I looked them over and actually bought two.

Jake was so excited when he came home from work that night and saw what I bought! We spent every night that week pouring over those books, trying to learn as much as we could about what was going on with the baby. Over the weekend, we even went out and bought two more books. Jake was suddenly obsessed with learning as much as he could about the baby then he would sit at dinner with the book and say things like, "Did you know that our baby has fingernails now? Wow."

I would just smile and nod and let him go on to the next fascinating fact. He found out that the baby could hear our voices now, so he made a point of talking to the baby every night before we went to bed. It was so cute. He would say things like, "Hey baby, this is your dad. How ya doin in there? I can't wait to meet you."

He would tell me not to eat anything too spicy because it wasn't good for the baby. And don't stand on a chair because you might fall and hurt the baby. And don't be around anyone smoking because it was bad for the baby. And on and on and on. I was starting to feel that all he cared about was the baby! It was driving me nuts! Until, the one morning I felt the baby move for the first time. It was so . . . amazing! Like little butterflies flying around inside of me. And I thought how I was the only one that could feel that. Jake couldn't. So, I realized that this was his way of experiencing my pregnancy, and I shouldn't let it get to me.

"Hey, Leah! Did you know that the baby has taste buds now?" I rolled my eyes and smiled. He really was cute.

"Are you sure?" he asked me for the hundredth time. "Cause I don't want you to agree just to make me happy."

"Jake, I'm sure. It's OK." I smiled at his grin as he took my hand and led me down the hall of the hospital to where we would be getting the ultrasound done. He had done his best all month at trying to convince me to let Carlisle tell us the sex of the baby. I had finally relented a couple of days ago. I decided it would be nice to know what color to paint the nursery, and what kind of sheets and stuff to buy. And we could start picking out a name. It would make the baby seem like a real person instead of just "an it."

Carlisle met us there and opened the door to the room. He told us that Linda, our tech, would be here shortly. "So, how are you feeling, Leah? Any changes?"

"I felt the baby move," I announced with a smile.

"Yes? When?" He had his pen out and was jotting that into my file.

"About two weeks ago. It was like a butterfly or something. You know, just a flutter."

"Mmmm, hmmm, good." His pen kept writing. "Have you felt anything else? Any trouble with heartburn or nausea? Any spotting?"

"Nope. I actually feel really good."

Just then, Linda walked in and asked if Carlisle was ready to get started. He smiled and nodded, so I laid back on the table and pulled my shirt up and pushed down the top of my maternity pants. My baby bump was much bigger now, and I had taken to wearing maternity clothes full time. She squirted some jelly on my bump and moved the wand around until we could see the baby.

"Wow, look at that! It looks like a baby!" Jake exclaimed. He was standing behind me and he reached out and grabbed my hand.

We looked in amazement at this little being inside of me. Just then I felt the flutter of movement. "Ooo, it knows we're looking at it!" I told them. "I just felt it move."

Carlisle smiled at me and used his pen to show us different parts of the baby. The tech took pictures as Carlisle talked and Jake was mesmerized by the screen. "Now, did you two decide if you want to know the sex of the baby?"

Jake looked at me and I nodded. "Yes. We want to know," he answered for both of us.

Carlisle had Linda move the wand all around and he looked at all the angles and then announced, "It looks like you're having a girl."

Jake beamed. I knew he had secretly been hoping for a girl. I didn't care one way or the other. I just wanted a healthy normal human baby. "Are you sure? I mean, is there any way that it could be, I don't know, hiding or something?"

Carlisle grinned. "I'm 99% sure. I'll give you the 1%."

Jake leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "A little girl. Wow." I smiled at him and thought how spoiled this little girl would be.

Linda handed me some wipes to clean up and as I did that Carlisle talked a little more about what to expect in the next month. We set another appointment and Linda printed out a picture for us to take with us. We said our goodbyes and walked toward the car. Jake was pretty quiet and I wondered what was going through his mind. Once we were in the car I turned to him and asked, "Jake? You're pretty quiet. Are you alright?"

"We're having a girl."

"Yes we are. I thought that's what you wanted." I was a little confused by his sudden anxiety.

"Yea, but do you know what that means?"

"What?"

He turned to face me. "Boys will look at her and want to have sex with her." I could see by the look on his face he was devastated by this revelation. "I will have to kill them. All of them."

I couldn't hold in the laughter. He shot me a look and I said, "Jake, please. She isn't even born yet! Give her 16 or 17 years before you start killing off all the boys on the reservation, OK?"

"Yea, whatever." He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. "I'll still have to kill them."

Boys of LaPush, beware! No looking at the Great Alpha's daughter!

The next few months just flew by. Jake and I worked as much as we could to put as much money in the bank as we could. We knew we wanted to have a hefty savings account to get us by when we moved home. It was good that it was so cheap to live here. I wasn't really sure how it would work at home. The council would be paying our utilities for us, but we still had to buy food and provide for the baby.

My baby bump had turned into a baby belly! I was now six and half months pregnant and the baby was really moving. It was so awesome! The first time Jake got to feel it kick, I thought he would shit! We were sitting on the couch after dinner one night when I felt the baby turn. "Jake, give me your hand," I said quickly. He sat up and I put his hand on my belly. After a few seconds, the baby kicked again. His eyes grew huge. "Oh my God! That was the baby?"

"Yea, isn't it cool?" He left it there and the baby kicked again.

"That is so fucking awesome!" he said.

I laughed and said, "You know, we are going to have to start watching our mouths. Remember, the baby can hear us."

"Oh, right. Wow, that was super-duper terrific!" he said with a goofy grin.

"Much better," I told him. Then he leaned down and kissed my belly and whispered, "Thanks for the bump, sweet pea. Your daddy loves you." I had my hand in his hair and could feel tears sting my eyes. He sat up and looked at me and smiled sweetly. "Come here, baby mama." He put his arm around me and pulled me close as I lay my head on his shoulder. "Feeling her kick like that, makes her so real. I can't wait to hold her in my arms."

"You just surprise me so. You're only 19, Jake, and yet, you seem so ready for this. How can you be?"

"Well, I don't know that I'm really ready. I'm actually terrified! But I can't help it. I love you and I love this baby. I want to hold her and take care of her, and . . . I just hope I can be a good father to her."

I sat up and looked into his eyes. "I know you will be." And he would. He already loved her and she wasn't here yet. That was a big part of who he was. And I knew then he would give this baby everything he had, just like he did with me. He was amazing.

Mom let Seth come up for a weekend toward the end of May. The Mariners were playing at home against the Yankees and Jake took him to watch the game on Saturday afternoon. They had a great time again and Seth told Jake that Charlie and Billy wanted to come up in June before we moved and see a game. They went over the schedule and picked out a game and Jake said he would get tickets.

Seth crashed on the couch for two nights and then drove home. Jake showed him the garage where he worked and took him in to meet Dan. And on Sunday, before he left, we ate in the restaurant where I work. When we walked in, Carol came over and asked, "So, who's this cutie with you today, Leah?"

Jake snickered as Seth blushed. "This here is Seth, my little brother. Seth, this is my boss and friend, Carol."

"They sure grow em big in LaPush! And handsome, too. I'm gonna have to take a drive over there sometime. " She reached out and actually pinched Seth's cheek! I thought he would faint dead away. "You go sit down and I'll come and get your order."

I led them over to a table and we sat down. Seth looked at me in discomfort and I laughed. "Oh, please. She's like that with everyone. You should have seen Jake here the first day we came here. She drooled all over him and told me I had done alright for myself. He was wearing one of those shirts with the sleeves cut off and had his muscles hanging out all over the place. He blushed just as red as you."

Jake rolled his eyes. "I did not."

"Oh, you really did." It was Seth's turn to snicker. Jake smacked him on the arm and Seth smacked back.

"Alright, you two, behave. This is where I work. Be good," I warned them.

Carol took our order and we ate and Seth told me he couldn't imagine me enjoying waiting on people. "You never want to wait on me at home."

"That's different. You're a brat who's too lazy to get off his ass and get his own food. And you don't tip me."

"She's got you there, bro," Jake said as he finished off his third burger.

"Whatever," Seth grumbled.

We took him to the waterfront after that and hung out for awhile. We really enjoyed having him with us and told him to come back once school was out. He drove back home and called us as soon as he got there so I wouldn't worry. He was a pretty OK kid. I actually kind of missed him. Of course that might change when we started living under the same roof again, but I hoped not.

Jake came in the door on Thursday night before we were going home for the weekend and said excitedly, "Come with me! I want to show you something." He grabbed my hand and dragged me toward the door.

"Jake! What's going on?"

"You'll see. Come on!" I followed him down the stairs to the street and he said, "Ta-dah!" as he pointed at a black Jeep Cherokee. I just stared at him. "It's our new car."

"What? Where's the Rabbit?" _I loved the Rabbit! He couldn't just get rid of it._

"I told Dan that we needed a family car and to be on the lookout for one. I knew we couldn't afford new, but I wanted something reliable. He found this one for us. It's 5 years old, and it has some miles on it. But, we looked it over and the transmission is sound, and so is the engine. Whoever had it took really good care of it. The interior is like new! It needed some new tires, and new brakes, so we put those on, and well, here, look." He opened the door and I sat down on the seat. It did look really nice. He climbed into the driver's seat and continued on with his sales pitch. "It even has a CD player! And look at the back seat. Plenty of room for a baby seat, and in the back is room for a stroller and all kinds of stuff. So, what do you think? Do you like it?"

I looked around and said, "Yea, I like it, Jake. But, where's the Rabbit?"

He laughed and said, "Are you fucking kidding me? I bring home this nice new family car and you're worried about the Rabbit?" I smiled sheepishly. "The Rabbit is at Dan's. I'm going to try and sell it, why?"

"Well, maybe we could give it to Seth. I mean, you can sell it to him for a couple of hundred bucks or something. That way, we could keep it in the family. I love that car. You practically built that car! You can't get rid of it."

He smiled. "I know. I hated the idea of getting rid of it, but I didn't think we could afford to have two cars. So, yea, that's a great idea. It's a great first car and it still runs good. OK. I'll drive it home this weekend, and you can drive this. You need to get used to it, you know."

"I know. But I'll miss the Rabbit." He smiled and said, "Yea, me, too."

"Jake? How much did you pay for this? I mean, can we afford this?" I asked.

"Dan got a really good deal on it at a dealer's auction, and we had the tires and brakes at the shop, so he gave me those for cost. I had enough cash to pay him. I have been saving for awhile because I knew we would need a new car." He shared with me all the costs involved, and how much money was still in savings. He did get a good deal, and it still left us with plenty in our savings.

I smiled and said, "What a good husband you are."

"I try my best." He did. He really did. It was amazing to me to think he was only 19. He was very responsible and always thinking about taking care of me and the baby.

So, on Friday, after Jake got home from work, we threw our bag into the Jeep and Jake kissed me and told me to drive safely. Then he climbed into the Rabbit and we both drove back to LaPush. We pulled up to Mom's around nine and walked into the house. Charlie and Seth were watching a Mariners game on TV as Mom was working on a blanket for the baby.

"Hey, kids," Mom said. "How are you, honey? You look tired." She stood up to hug me.

"I am. It was a long drive. Jake surprised me yesterday by bringing home a new car. We now have a Jeep Cherokee! Take a look out the window." Everyone got up and looked.

"Nice, Jake. Looks pretty new," Charlie said. Jake took him and Seth outside to look it over.

"Mom, we'd like Seth to have the Rabbit. Is that OK with you?" I asked as soon as Seth was outside. "I mean, I know he has some money, so he can pay us a few hundred dollars for it. It still runs really good and if anything goes wrong with it, you know Jake will fix it."

She thought for a minute and then said, "I guess. Sure, if he wants it. I know he really wants a car. He may have to look for a part-time job to keep gas in it and help with insurance, but that would be good for him."

I eased down onto the couch. I was tired. "Look at you. Your baby belly gets a little bigger every time I see you," Mom said.

I smiled. "I feel it, too. I feel huge already and I have three more months!"

"How's she doing in there?"

"Everything's good. So far this pregnancy has gone really well."

The guys came back in and Seth plopped down beside me. "How ya doin, sis?" he asked. "Man, you're huge!"

"Man, you're ugly," I shot back to tease him. "Oh! There's a kick. Here," I said as I took Seth's hand and put it on my belly. "Whoa!" he said excitedly. "That was cool! What does that feel like inside?" he asked.

"Just like it feels on the outside," I told him.

He kept his hand there for a little bit and felt the baby kick a couple more times then he took it away. "So, what did you think of our new car?" I asked Seth.

"It's OK, I guess. More room for the baby and stuff."

"How would you like to buy the Rabbit from us?"

He sat up and said, "For real?" I nodded. He quickly looked to Jake. "Jake? You would sell me the Rabbit?"

"Sure. Still runs real good. It's got fairly new tires and brakes. Anything goes wrong on it, and I'll help you fix it."

He looked over at Mom. "Mom? Can I?"

She smiled. "Yes, but you may have to look at getting a part-time job to help pay for gas and insurance."

"I will! How much do you want, Jake?"

"How about $300?"

"That's all? Are you sure?"

"Well, it is old, and it has 150,000 miles on it. But I put most of those parts on it, and I know it's a good car."

"Deal!" Seth said excitedly. They shook hands and Jake handed him the keys. "I'll give you the title tomorrow and you'll have to go to the license branch next week and get plates."

Seth was so excited. I was really glad that we could keep the car in the family.

"Well, guys, I hate to do this, but I'm really tired. I'm going to bed. See you all in the morning." I stood up and headed for the stairs. I heard them all call out goodnight as I slowly climbed the stairs. I could hear Seth asking Jake about the car and I smiled. I think we made him pretty happy.

Jake POV:

Seth and I were on patrol. I told Sam that when I was home on weekends, I would do that. I liked running with Seth, but I had to be really careful with my thoughts. I never wanted him to see some of the stuff his sister and I did when we were alone. I had caught a glimpse or two from Paul a few times and man, no one should see their sister like that.

So, we were running the woods and Seth was letting me know how much he loved the car. We had gone out on a drive this morning. I wanted to make sure he knew how to drive a stick. He didn't do too bad with it. He would get better at it with practice.

"_So, now you're thinking about dating cause you have a car, huh?"_

"_Yea, there's this girl that I've been hanging out with in my History class. She's pretty cute. I wanted to ask her out, but when you don't have a car, what can you do? I am never double dating with Embry again. I learned my lesson there."_

"_Well, you can always take her to the beach or maybe to a bonfire. I miss those days. When the pack would have bonfires at the beach. We need to start doing that again."_

"_Well, with all you old guys getting married and having babies, kind of spoils the fun for us younger guys, you know?"_

"_I never thought of that. But I'm only 19, dude! I'm technically still a teenager!"_

"_Yea, but you're an old married man with a kid on the way!"_

"_I am and that makes me very happy."_

"_It was pretty awesome feeling the baby kick. I'm glad the baby's OK."_

"_Why would you think that?" _Then before he could stop it, I saw why. He was with Bella and her baby. And she wasn't well.

"_Jake, I'm sorry! I've been trying to hide that from you."_

"_You've been going over there, haven't you?"_

"_Yes. I can't help it. I still care about Edward and Bella and Reneesme. She's really sick. She was doing better for awhile, because Carlisle gave her some growth hormone, but it quit working. She's . . . not going to make it. It's just a matter of time now."_

I felt all kinds of emotion run through me. Now that Leah and I were having a baby, it put into perspective for me why that baby had been so important to Bella. At the time, I couldn't understand why she wouldn't let Carlisle get rid of it. It was hurting her more and more every day, but still, she protected it. I knew I would do anything to protect this baby of mine. And now, now that this baby was dying . . . I did feel for Bella and Edward. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it.

"_You should see them, Jake. Edward is a mess. He's . . ." _and then he showed me. Edward looked so . . . tortured. I remember when I was staying there and he was like that, but this was much worse. _"He never leaves the baby, ever. He's with her day and night, and he doesn't hunt, so he's . . . it's like he's willing himself to die with her."_

"_And . . . Bella?" _He showed me a vision of Bella, sitting with the baby, stroking her hair and humming to her. Rosalie was hovering close as always, but, the look in Rose's eye was frightening. I could see how much she hated Bella holding the baby.

"_Yea, Rose is creepy, isn't she? I hate the way she looks at Bella. It's like she thinks that baby is hers or something."_

"_What have they told Charlie?"_

"_He doesn't know they're here. He thinks they went back to Europe. Bella calls every week to tell him all about the places they've seen and she tells him little stories about Reneesme. I guess they're going to tell him some made up story about her getting sick and dying suddenly. I feel bad for him that he doesn't know."_

"_When was the last time you were there?"_

"_Thursday, afternoon. I told Carlisle to call me if she . . . you know. I haven't heard anything yet."_

I couldn't believe the thought that just popped into my head. Apparently, neither could Seth. "_Really, Jake? You would really go and see them?"_

"_I don't know, dude. Leah would hate me for it. But for some reason . . . I just feel . . . I don't know. I don't know what to feel."_

Before I knew what I was doing, I was running toward the Cullen house with Seth right beside me. I wasn't sure why, but I just felt such a strong urge to go. I could feel the minute we crossed the treaty line, and it was an odd feeling. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, but it was too late now. Emmett met us just over the line.

"Seth! And . . . Jacob? Long time, no see, dude."

We ran up to the back of the house and all of those memories came flooding back. I hadn't been here since that night. The night that Bella died.

"_I know Jake. I got your back, OK? If you need to leave, we leave."_

"_Thanks, bro." _I willed my body to phase and I pulled on my shorts as Seth did the same.

Emmett had followed us and asked, "What are you doing here? Is it just you two?"

"Yea. Seth just filled me in on what's happening, and . . ."

"Hey mutt!" Alice called as she suddenly appeared in front of me.

"Hey leach," I returned with a smile. Man, the stench! I had forgotten how awful the smell is here. "How is she? The baby?"

I could see by her face, it wasn't good. "She has just a few hours. You want to see her, don't you?"

I just nodded. She motioned to me to follow her. I looked over at Seth and we both followed Alice into the house. The smell was worse in here and it burned my nose. Nothing had changed. Same perfect white, designer interior. Everything in its place. Esme greeted us as we walked in. "Hello, Jacob! How is Leah and the baby?"

"Um, they're good. We're having a girl," I told her.

She gave me a soft, sad smile. A little girl, huh? Carlisle tells me that Leah is doing well. I'm happy for her. She was so lost and hurt when she was here before."

"Yes, she was. We're both very happy now." I couldn't help but feel a little guilty at saying that here and now.

"Bella is up here," Alice said quietly. I nodded to Esme and then Seth and I continued on with Alice. She led us to a room upstairs. She stopped at the door and said, "Bella? Seth is here, and he's brought someone else to see you."

She stepped back so Bella could see me. I could see the disbelief in her face at first and then she smiled. "Jacob? I can't believe you're here."

I smiled. "Hey, Bella." I stepped into the room and she stood up. She was alone in the room, and I glanced at Seth. He said, "The baby's room is over here. I'll go and wait for you there." I nodded and looked back at Bella. It was hard to read her expressions now, but I felt that she was so alone. Before I realized what I was doing, I walked into the room and took her into my arms. She clung to me. "Oh Jake, thank you so much for coming here. I know it can't be easy for you, but I really needed this. I needed to see you." I just stood there and held her for awhile.

Finally I stepped back and said, "I'm sorry, Bella. I really am." It was strange being here with her, like this. I was worried at first how it would be to see her, but it was like seeing a different Bella. Mine didn't exist anymore.

"I know." She sat down on the edge of the bed again and I sat down beside her. She turned to look at me as she said, "So, how's married life?"

"Pretty good, actually."

"Dad told me all about the wedding. He seemed happy to be a part of it." She gave me a small smile. "And the baby? It's yours?"

"Yes. The same day we found out that I was the father, Sam found out that Emily was pregnant. So, everything worked out pretty great."

She reached over and put her icy hand on top of mine. "Good. You deserve to be happy."

As I looked into her strange golden eyes, I thought she really did, too. "So do you, you know. I didn't think so for a long time, but now . . . "

"I don't know about that." She stood up and went to look out of the huge window that also served as a wall. "I think I gave that up a long time ago." She turned back and I noticed that she had her arms wrapped around herself like she used to do so much when we first started hanging out. "I made my bed, now I have to lie in it. Isn't that what you told me?"

I closed my eyes for a moment and then said to her, "Words said in anger, Bella. You know that." I stood up to go. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"I know, but they are very true. I made my choice. I gave up everything that was important in my life . . . hell, I gave up my life! You, Charlie, Mom. Everyone and everything I cared about. And here I am. Maybe some century, I'll learn to live with it and make the best of it."

I just stood there looking at her. It was so odd to be around her knowing that this Bella had all the same thoughts and memories of my Bella, yet, she was so different. So . . . cold. She smiled at me then moved to close the gap between us as she said, "Remember when we finished the bikes and you were trying to teach me how to ride it? I took off and wrecked it and you whipped off your shirt and held it to my head to stop the bleeding. I remember apologizing to you for bleeding, and you laughed at me. Then I told you, you were 'sort of beautiful.' "

I smiled. "Yea, I remember. I took you to the hospital for stitches."

She smiled and said, "Well, you are beautiful, Jake. Inside and out. I never told you that, and I want you to know." She put her hand on my chest and it felt like ice on a hot plate. "You really are handsome, but . . ." she looked into my eyes. "You have such a good heart. I really, really miss you." She leaned in and I realized she wanted to kiss me. I knew I didn't want that so I backed away and said, "This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry. I don't want to give you the wrong idea."

"No! Jacob, don't go. I'm sorry," she said quickly. She reached out and grabbed my arm. "Jake, please? I just want to be friends again. If we can."

I just nodded then said, "Could I see her? Your baby?"

She looked at me for a long minute then finally she nodded and I followed her out of the room. We walked to the next room and stopped at the door. The nursery was beautifully decorated, by Alice, no doubt. Seth was standing beside Edward, trying to talk him into going out hunting. I could see so much concern in Seth. He really reminded me of Carlisle. Seth would be a good doctor some day.

Rosalie was hovering over this beautiful antique baby bed, gently running a finger over the baby's arm. She gave me the evil eye as soon as we showed up at the door. Bella looked at her and said, "Jacob would like to see her. Please step away just for a second, Rose." I was surprised to hear the anger in Bella's voice as she gave Rose the command. Rosalie just glared at me then finally stepped away so I could approach the bed. I noticed, she didn't go very far.

I looked down at this beautiful sleeping child. I was amazed by her! She wasn't even a year old yet, and she looked at least 3 or 4. Her hair hung in curls around her angelic face. "Bella, she's so beautiful," I said in amazement.

Bella gave me a small smile. "Yes, she is. And so sweet natured. She's an amazing child. She can communicate with you just by touching you." I glanced over and she smiled. "You remember how Edward could communicate with her before she was born." I nodded.

Edward. I had forgotten he was there. He was so quiet. Then I heard, "Yes, unfortunately, I am still here, Jacob." I turned to look at him and I was shocked. He was always so impeccably dressed and seemed so confidant. He was a very different Edward now. He seemed so . . . broken.

"That's because I can do nothing, NOTHING to save her. I am helpless and useless. I never should have . . . "

"Edward, Jacob doesn't need to hear your list of all the horrible things you think you're responsible for. We all know it was my fault for making you take me on a honeymoon as a human. You remind me of that every day." I couldn't believe what I was hearing! The anger and resentment in the room was stifling.

Edward just stared at me. "Just as you remind me everyday how you made the wrong choice."

I looked over at Seth and his eyes were huge as they followed the conversation. All of a sudden, I wanted to get out of here. It was a mistake to come here. "I need to get back to LaPush. Seth and I were actually finishing our patrol when we made the decision to come over. Sam will be pissed if he finds we're not on the rez."

Bella looked at me curiously. "You are back with Sam now? But you are the Alpha, Jake. Chief Jacob," she added with small smile.

"Uh, yea. I am the Alpha of our pack," I told her. "We are all one family again, like it should be. But Leah and I still live in Seattle, and so Sam is my Beta and runs things here when I'm gone. He sets the patrol schedules. We're moving back in another month."

Her face fell and she just nodded. "I see. I'll walk you out."

I took one more look at their daughter. She really was beautiful. I smiled as I thought of my little girl. I was looking forward to meeting her. I turned to leave and Edward smiled at me. "Congratulations, Jacob. Little girls are wonderful."

I walked over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. _I truly am sorry, Edward. For everything._ He just nodded his thanks and got up to go to the bed to look at his daughter. I noticed Rosalie run right back and take up her guard.

I turned and followed Bella out of the room. I heard Seth say a few words to Edward then he caught up to us.

Bella walked us out of the house and into the back yard. "I'm sorry you had to hear those things. It's very hard right now." She collected herself then asked Seth, "How's Charlie?"

Seth smiled and said, "Good. We've been watching the Mariners together on TV. He's been fishing with Billy. He misses you. I can always tell when he hangs up the phone after he talks to you."

"I know. I hear it, too. I miss him so much. But, what's done is done." She looked over at me and said, "Jake, thanks so much for coming. I really appreciate it. Does Leah know you're here?"

I shook my head. "Last minute decision. But I will tell her. We don't keep secrets from each other." And besides, she would smell the stink on me right away.

She took a step toward me and hugged me. I held her for a moment and then she stepped back. "Goodbye, Jake. Bye, Seth." She turned and went back into the house.

I looked over at Seth and said, "Let's get the hell out of here. I need to go home – now!"

I looked at Seth as we walked up to the house. "I have to tell Leah right away. You know she'll smell it on me."

He smiled at that. "Yea, she already knows that I go over there. I asked her if it would be OK to visit them back when she told me that Bella came to our house the night of Mom's wedding. She told me she understood. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I guess I thought maybe she did."

"No, she didn't. She has a way of wanting to protect me from all of that."

Seth opened the door and we walked inside. No one was around. Seth walked into the kitchen and came back with a note. "Mom and Charlie went to your dad's for dinner."

I nodded and said, "I wonder where Leah is?" He shrugged and I looked at the stairs. Sometimes she napped in the afternoon now. "I'll check upstairs," I told him.

"OK. I'm taking the car for a drive. Is that alright?"

I laughed and said, "It's your car now, dude. You don't have to ask!"

"Oh yea! Well, I'm out of here!" he said with a grin. He took the keys and ran to the door and outside to the car. I just shook my head and headed upstairs to find Leah.

I opened the bedroom door and saw that she was sleeping. I closed it again and decided maybe I should shower and get the vampire stink off of me. I went to the bathroom and showered then walked back to the bedroom for clean clothes. I closed the door behind me and Leah stirred then said, "I always love waking up to find a naked man in my room."

I laughed and went over to sit on the bed beside her. "Oh really? How many naked men have you found in your room?" I asked her.

She sat up and said saucily, "Wouldn't you like to know?" I lifted my eyebrows and she added, "But you're my favorite."

I laughed and took her in my arms and kissed her. I could feel myself growing hard just holding her and kissing her. She always did that to me. Maybe it's what I just saw at the Cullen house, but I couldn't wait to get home to Leah and hold her and tell her how much I loved her. I pulled my lips from hers to tell her just that. "I love you, Leah. So much." I put one hand on the side of her face and just marveled at how lucky I was to have her.

She looked at me curiously. She could always tell when something was up. "Yea? I love you, too. What's wrong?"

"Don't be mad, but . . . when I was out patrolling with Seth, he let it slip that he had been visiting Bella and Edward . . . and the baby." She closed her eyes and I said quickly, "It's OK, Leah. He told me that you already know that. I know Seth's heart. He cares about them. I saw it in him. I'm not mad that you didn't tell me. Just like I hope you won't be mad that I went with him to see them, today."

Her eyes flew open and she said, "You did what? You went back to that house? Jake! What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't really thinking! I just reacted to what Seth showed me. God, I couldn't believe what I saw. Edward is . . . he's broken, Leah. He blames himself for getting her pregnant, and now he feels so completely helpless because he can do nothing to save her. The baby. Alice told me she only has hours, and she'll be . . . gone."

"Oh, Jake." She instinctively put her hands on our baby. I put mine on top of hers. We were so lucky right now. I just prayed that this baby would be born healthy and stay that way. I never wanted to look or feel like Edward did today. "Did you see her? The baby, I mean."

I nodded. "She's really beautiful." I tried to describe to Leah how the baby looked more like a toddler and what Bella told me about how she can communicate. "It's so sad. Bella and Edward are just so angry at each other." I told her the things they said to each other. "It's really pitiful. I couldn't wait to get away from there. To get back here to you, to hold you and tell you how much I love you."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck. We held each other for awhile and then we started kissing and touching and before long, her clothes disappeared and we made love to each other, very slowly. It was like each kiss and each touch meant something. With her pregnancy, we had learned how to do things differently to accommodate her baby belly. And now, as I entered her slowly and she moaned in pleasure, I felt so possessive of her and of the baby. They were mine and I would kill anyone who would hurt either of them. I drove a little harder and faster and felt her contract around me as she cried out then I came and it was so sweet. We lay there catching our breath and I whispered, "Leah, you and this baby are the most important things in the world to me. You know that, right?"

"Yes, Jake. I know that."

"I will always be here to protect you. I love you."

"I know. I love you, too, baby."

I smiled. I like it when she called me "baby."

"Do you ever get the feeling that life is just too good right now? Like you're just waiting for something to happen?" Leah asked me.

"Oh, honey, don't go there. Let's don't go looking for trouble. Let's just enjoy what we have and be thankful."

She smiled as she said, "I know. You're right. I am thankful. Very thankful."

Seth got a call from Carlisle the next day telling him that Reneesme had died in the night. There would be no official funeral. They would handle it in their own way. Carlisle said he would be calling Charlie and telling him that the baby died of SIDS – Sudden Infant Death Syndrome – and there was nothing anyone could do. It just happened.

I had so many emotions run through me. Seeing that sweet little girl and now knowing she was gone. I did feel for Bella and Edward now that I was going to be a father soon. I never wanted to feel what they were going through right now. Leah and I just held onto each other and once again felt very thankful for what we had.

Seth called later that week and told us that he went to the Cullens. They had a little Memorial Service for Reneesme and Charlie and Mom and Seth went. Sam went with them to represent the pack, but Emily stayed home. She didn't think she could take it being pregnant and all.

It was hard for Leah and I to hear about. All of the anger and hate that we had both harbored kind of disappeared. We were so lucky, and now they were the ones in pain. It was just so sad.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

Leah POV:

"Leah! Come on, honey, we have to go," Jake called.

I was standing in the bedroom of our apartment, looking at the bed. Our bed. It sat there now just like we found it almost 11 months ago. No sheets, no pillows, just a bare mattress. All of our stuff was packed and sitting out in a small UHaul trailer that was attached to our Jeep. It was funny how when we first moved in, all I had was one bag of clothes. Now we had enough stuff to warrant renting a trailer!

Jake walked in and said, "Honey?" I turned to him and he smiled. "I know this is hard, but we have to get going." He put his arms around me.

"I know. I just want to always remember this place, Jake. It means so much to me. It was the place we came to heal, and to grow-up, and . . . to fall in love. It will always be special to me."

He looked around the room and said, "Yea, me, too. We've come a long way since the day we moved in here." He put his hand on my huge baby belly. "But now it's time to start a new chapter in our life. Now we're married, and we have a baby that will be here very soon. It's time to move on." He looked at me and smiled.

I smiled back and nodded. "OK. Let's go." He leaned down and kissed me then took my hand and led me out through the living room to the door. We both turned and took one more look. Then we walked through the door and Jake pulled it shut. It was like closing the door on a very painful, but special time in our lives. As we walked down the stairs and out into the sunshine, I felt a lightness to my step. An excitement that I hadn't felt before was there, leading me back to LaPush. Back home to the people we loved and the land that we belonged to. We were stronger, older and ready to face the challenges that were waiting for us there. Our little girl would be born there and raised there, just as we had been. This was right. The past is the past and now . . . it was time to move on to the future.

Mom and Charlie had moved out the things they wanted with them, and now we had all of our things moved in. It still seemed really strange to be living here in this house again. We had decided to move things around a little when it came to the bedrooms. Jake and I took Mom's room as it was the biggest bedroom, and Jake really wanted a king-sized bed. But the walls were this putrid shade of gold! I had always wondered how Mom stood it. So, we had Embry and Quil come over one weekend and help Jake and Seth do some painting. Our room was now a nice sage green and I hung cream-colored curtains on the windows. I loved it! We moved my dresser in and the new king-sized bed and it was perfect. Jake loved that he could stretch out and not have his feet hang off the end. And with my baby belly getting bigger every day, it was nice to have a little more room for myself.

I surprised Jake with a picture to hang in our bedroom. I had taken a black and white photo of our bedroom in the apartment, and I had Kim take it and blow it up to a 12" x 16" and frame it. He loved it! We hung it up above our bed and stood back and looked at it. When I took the picture, I captured the rays of the sun coming through the window to hit just right on the bed. I was happy to have a little piece of our past here in our present.

Seth decided to move into my old room because it was bigger than his, but . . . it was purple. He didn't want to live in a purple room, the wuss, so they painted it blue. Mariner blue. Once it was done, they moved all of Seth's stuff over and now we could paint his room for the baby.

I decided now that we knew the baby was a girl, I wanted the room to be a nice sunny yellow. I wasn't going to go with everything pink – it was too cliché. So, we found a nice yellow paint, and the guys had it done in no time. I found crib bedding and curtains I liked and we added an old rocking chair that Mom had put in the attic into the room. Once we had a crib and changing table, it would be perfect.

I paid the guys with food for their hard work. I made them huge meals every night for a week. It was a lot of work feeding four hungry werewolves, but they deserved it.

"Man, this is good, Leah," Embry said as he wolfed down his third plate of lasagna. "What else do you guys need done? I want to eat here every night!"

I laughed and said, "Well, thanks, Embry. Maybe I'll think of something."

"I hope so." He looked at Jake and said, "Dude, you are so lucky."

Jake smiled at me and answered, "You have no idea, bro."

We settled into our new home, as Jake was trying to settle into his new position as Alpha. He spent some time everyday with his Dad and Sam, going over what all was expected of him. He and Sam even took the time to go over to talk to Carlisle about the treaty and to let them know that Jake was back and in charge. He told me the meeting went well, and Carlisle even forgave Sam for everything that happened in the past. He also found out that Bella and Edward had gone away alone to try and work out their differences. They were both hurting after their loss, but eternity was a long time to spend mad at your mate. Jake was actually glad to hear that. So was I.

Rachel and Emily surprised me by throwing me a baby shower! But it wasn't just for the women this time. It was for everyone. Sam had the grill out and was cooking hamburgers and all of the girls kicked in with food. Mom and Charlie came and brought Billy. Aunt Barb was there with Anne and Claire and Anne's husband, Rick. And of course, all of the pack was there with their imprints. It was a huge party and we all had a really good time.

Thankfully, Rachel didn't make us play any stupid party games this time. We ate and talked with everyone and then came the presents! I couldn't believe how generous everyone was. Then Emily leaned in and whispered, "Maybe you don't get that you and Jake are the royalty around here. Jacob will be tribal leader someday. That's a pretty big deal."

Yea, no pressure there. Jake sat with me and we opened gift after gift after gift! We wouldn't have to buy anything for this baby for at least 2 years! Mom, Charlie and Billy gave us a beautiful crib. Billy told us that Sue found it in a used furniture store, and she bought it and took it to Billy to refinish. He did such a wonderful job. It looked brand new.

Rachel found a changing table that matched the finish on the crib, so that was from her and Paul. All of the rest of the pack pitched in with what money they could come up with a bought us a baby car seat. And then there were the clothes and diapers and little socks and pajamas . . . it was amazing.

After we were through opening things, Jake stood up and cleared his throat. "Thank you so much, everyone, for all of this. Leah and I can't begin to tell you how much this means to us." I heard his voice crack and I stood up beside him and took his hand. "We love you all very much." I kissed him on the cheek and made him smile. It was so nice to be surrounded by our family and feel their love for us.

While everyone was enjoying the party, Kim came over to me. "Hey Leah. I just wanted you to know that I convinced Jared to take a couple of college classes with me. He's actually going to take them online, but at least he's taking them."

I smiled at her. "Good. I'm glad. A brain is a terrible thing to waste . . . even for a werewolf."

She gave a little laugh at that. "Yea. And we've been talking a lot lately about getting married someday. After your wedding, he was, well, he told me he was jealous in a way of Jake. How he wished we could get married and have a house given to us. We want to be together, but we don't know how we can with no jobs to support us. I'm taking a full load of classes at the community college so it doesn't leave a lot of time for a job."

"Well, things have been pretty calm around here for quite awhile. Maybe Jared could find a job and you guys could rent somewhere. I don't know. There has to be a solution. You guys belong together, so it will work out."

"I know. That's what I told him. We'll have what you guys have someday. It's just hard to wait."

Rachel interrupted the conversation by telling me that my Aunt Barb was leaving, so I excused myself to go tell her goodbye. But I thought about that conversation later and decided I should talk to Jake about it. What good was imprinting for these guys if they couldn't get married and have babies? How were they expected to support their families and protect the rez from evil vampires? This was something we needed to take to the council.

I brought it up later that night when we were at home, settled in on the couch. "I don't know, Leah. I guess I never thought about it."

"I know, that's the problem. No one's ever thought about it. The council decided to provide for the Alpha, well, and now the Beta, of the pack, but they never thought about the pack members. I mean, sure, most of them were so young and still lived at home with their parents, but now they are growing older and imprinting, and they can't be expected to just live with their parents the rest of their lives."

Jake sat there, quiet in thought. Finally he said, "Yea, I think we should bring this up to the council. I know that no one ever expected there to be such a large pack. It hadn't happened for such a long time. There had never been more than three or four wolves at a time." He turned to me and smiled. "Thanks, Leah, for bringing this up. Dad was right when he told me that I made the right choice all those months ago. He knew then that you would be the perfect one to stand by my side and help me run things."

"Well, yea. Duh," I said jokingly. He laughed and pulled me closer and dropped a kiss on my head. "Thanks, Jake. That mean a lot," I told him seriously. We did make a good team. I hoped we could find a solution for the rest of the pack members. They deserved to have what Jake and I had, and I would see to it that they would get it.

Jake POV:

A couple of weeks after the shower, we were laying in bed sleeping when I heard, "Jake? Jake!" I felt someone shaking me. "Mmmm? What?"

"Jake, damnit, wake up! Leah needs you!"

My eyes shot open and I could see Seth standing over me. I sat up and looked to see she wasn't in bed with me. "Where is she?"

"She's in the bathroom. Dude, she's been calling you for like 5 minutes."

I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. "Leah? It's me," I said as I knocked on the door.

"Finally! Get your ass in here!" she yelled at me.

I opened the door and found her standing in front of the sink, leaning on the counter. "What's wrong?" I asked anxiously.

"Look at the floor. My water broke!" I looked down to notice her standing in a puddle.

"Seth! Bring me a couple of towels!" I hollered. I turned to Leah and said, "I'll go get you some clean underwear and pants. Be right back." She nodded as Seth came with the towels. I handed them to Leah and ran to our room to get what she would need. I slipped on a pair of pants and slid a t-shirt over my head then went back and helped her clean up and change.

"Oh no, here comes another one." She bent over and started breathing. I looked at the clock on the wall and noted the time. "OK, it's done," she said with a deep breath after a minute and twenty seconds.

"How long has it been since the last one?"

"Uh, about 10 minutes."

"Oh my God! Let's go. We have to get you to the hospital. I love you, but I am not delivering this baby!" I scooped her up in my arms and yelled at Seth as I ran down the stairs. "Seth! We're going to the hospital! NOW!"

Seth was already dressed and was running down the stairs right behind me. Luckily he thought to grab shoes for all of us! I put Leah in the front seat of the car as Seth jumped into the back. I threw him my cell phone as I climbed behind the wheel. "Here, call Carlisle then call your mom."

I looked over at Leah and she looked terrified. "You OK?" I asked as I started the engine.

She didn't speak. She just nodded. She didn't look very confident. I put the car in gear and took off driving toward Forks way too fast. I was excited to meet my daughter, but I really didn't want it to be in the front seat of my car.

"Carlisle?" I heard Seth say into the phone. "The baby's coming! Help!"

Leah POV:

"Come on, Leah! Push! One more good push," Carlisle called out.

"You can do it, honey, come on," Jake encouraged. He was holding me up because I was so tired. My water had broken hours ago and we had been here waiting for just this moment.

I was so tired and it was everything I could do to make myself push. Jake had his arms around me, holding me up and he said, "You can do it, baby. Push!" So I gave it everything I had and suddenly, I felt it! The baby was out!

"There she is! Your little girl," Carlisle stated as he suctioned the baby and cut the cord. Then he held her up for us to see. "Look, Jake. She's finally here," I cried out. He laid her on my chest and I looked down at this tiny wonder.

I looked over at him and he couldn't speak. His eyes were filled with tears as he reached out and carefully ran a finger over her back.

One of the nurses then stepped up and took the baby to clean and weigh her. She invited Jake along to help. He bent down and kissed me gently on the lips. "Leah, I love you so much. I'm really proud of you. You did great."

I looked at his face through my tears and nodded. I couldn't find my voice. I was overwhelmed with the fact that she was really here. My baby was here!

I heard the nurse call out, "Weight, 7 pounds 9 ounces. Length, 22 inches." Carlisle smiled at me and commented, "That's a good healthy weight." Just then we heard the baby cry. I looked over to see the nurse bathing her. "And she has healthy lungs," Carlisle added with a smile.

Once Carlisle was finished with me and the nurses helped to get me cleaned up and in a fresh hospital gown, they moved me to a private room. Jake came in carrying the baby. He walked over to the bed and held her out to me. "Meet your daughter," he said softly.

I took the baby and held her close to me. He bent down and touched the baby's hand gently with his finger. Then he put his head next to mine and whispered, "Isn't she amazing?" I closed my eyes and thanked God for this moment. I never imagined life could ever be this sweet. The baby was all clean now and tightly wrapped in a blanket with a cute little pink hat on her head.

Carlisle walked in and smiled. "So, everyone came through just fine. The baby is a good weight and she seems to be in perfect health. And Leah, you did a fine job."

Jake smiled at me. "You did. I'm really proud of you." He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you, Carlisle, for everything. I'm really glad that you were here for me," I said.

He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder. "I'm happy to do it. Enjoy your baby, you two. They are precious," he said. Then he turned and walked out of the room.

Just then, the baby opened her eyes and stared at me and I felt such a rush of love for this perfect little girl. "Hey little one. I'm your mommy and I'm very glad you're here." I smiled and touched her little cheek with my finger. She stared at me for just that moment then her eyes drifted shut again. I pulled off the little cap and gently smoothed all of her soft black hair. "Look at all of this hair! And she has your eyes."

Jake smiled softly. "Yea? You think so?" I nodded.

Just then, Mom came rushing into the room with Seth right behind her. "Leah, how are you honey? Carlisle said you did great." She reached the bed and bent down to kiss me on the head. Jake had stepped aside so she could reach me.

"I'm fine. It wasn't as bad as everyone says it is. I'm just tired. Here, meet your new granddaughter," I said as I held the baby to her. She gently lifted her from my arms and snuggled her close.

"Oh, honey, she's so beautiful. I can't believe I'm a grandma!" I laughed at that. She sank slowly down into the chair that was beside the bed.

I looked over to where Jake and Seth were standing and I called out, "Hey, Uncle Seth."

He made his way over to me and Mom. "Man, that sounds weird," he said as he looked over Mom's shoulder at the baby. "Cute kid," he said. I realized I was still holding the baby's little hat in my hand as Mom said, "Look at all this black hair! Oh, Jake she looks so much like you." Jake just beamed.

"So, you just gonna call her Baby Black or are you gonna give her a real name?" he asked.

I looked at Jake and said, "Are we going with the name we picked out?" He nodded. "OK. Mom, Seth, I would like you to meet Maya Rachel Clearwater Black."

"Maya Rachel Clearwater Black," Mom repeated as she gazed down lovingly at the baby.

"We picked Maya for two reasons," I explained. "First, we lived on Maya Avenue in Seattle, and it was a special place for us and it was where she was conceived." Seth made a gagging noise and I glared at him then went on. "And when I looked up the meaning of the name, I found that it meant, 'precious one,' and I liked that because she is just that. And of course, Rachel is for Jake's sister and my new best friend." I shot a smile at Jake and he reciprocated. "And, I am very proud of the Clearwater name, so I wanted her to have it, too."

"Kind of a long name for such a tiny kid," Seth said. Jake actually snickered. I again glared at him.

"It's a name to be proud of," Mom said and I stuck my tongue out at Seth and it made him smile. "I wish your father were here to see her. She is a beauty." I put my hand on Mom's shoulder. I wished that, too. So much.

Billy and Rachel made it up that first night and I cried as I watched Billy hold his granddaughter and give her a blessing in Quileute. Rachel fussed over our little girl and got all teary-eyed when she found out Maya's middle name. "Wow, thanks, guys. That is really sweet."

"We are hoping that you will consent to being her godmother. Will you?" Jake asked her. She looked up at him and then at me in disbelief.

"Really? Me?"

Jake laughed at her. "You did a pretty good job raising me. I want you to be close to our daughter, too." She nodded as Jake put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "Of course I'll be her godmother. Thank you."

Billy handed Maya to Rachel to hold and she cooed over her and rocked back and forth. She would make a great mom someday. But Paul as a dad? Oh God help that poor child.

Rachel looked up at Jake. "She looks just like you. She has your eyes."

"Geez, everyone keeps saying she looks like Jake. Doesn't she get anything from me?" I asked in frustration.

Everyone looked at her and Jake finally said, "She has your nose." I rolled my eyes. "My nose? Really? That's the best you can do?" He chuckled at that.

Rachel said, "Well, maybe she will have your winning personality!" Jake and I both groaned. I hoped she wouldn't be as stubborn as me!

We had many visitors that next day in the hospital. Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim, Quil, Embry, and Paul all stopped in throughout the day.

"The kid's cute. She looks just like me," Embry quipped. Jake shot him a look and he just laughed. He bent down and kissed me on the forehead, which really shocked me. "You did good, Leah," he said quietly. "She's really beautiful."

"Thanks, Embry." He smiled and winked at me and plopped down in the chair beside the bed. Jake was holding the baby and Quil and Paul were looking at her. "Geez, man. You're a dad. How's that feel?" Quil asked.

"Weird, but really good," Jake answered. Paul walked over to the bed and asked, "So, how you doing?"

"I feel pretty good, actually," I answered.

"Gonna be a baby machine now are you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Paul. I finally found my purpose for being in the pack. I will be the baby machine and make lots and lots of new little werewolves," I said, my voice dripping in sarcasm.

He just gave me a smile and leaned down to ask me quietly, "Do we get to take turns?" I smacked him on the shoulder and he just laughed. God, how did Rach stand him?

Embry heard him and just snickered and I gave him a glare. He straightened up and wiped the grin off of his face. At least one of them was still scared of me.

They didn't stay long. Guys and new babies didn't really go together. The toughest moment for me was when Sam and Emily stopped by. Emily rushed in and hugged Jake and then came over to me. I had just finished feeding Maya and I was burping her. "Oh Leah, look at how tiny she is." Emily was now six months pregnant and she was glowing. I let her hold the baby while Jake and Sam were talking and answered all her questions about Maya's birth. Finally Emily got up out of the chair and walked over to Sam. I knew she still had no idea how we thought at first this might be Sam's baby, but I could see in his face that he remembered very well.

"Don't you want to hold her, Sam?" Emily asked.

He just shook his head and stared at the baby. Emily just raised her eyebrows at him for a second then came back and handed Maya to me. "We don't want to stay long. I know you're probably still tired and you've had a lot of company today I'm sure."

"Yea, we should go," Sam said quietly.

"Well, thanks for coming over," Jake said. They both waved at me and walked out. Jake came over and sat down beside the bed. He looked at me and I knew what he was thinking. "I guess that was hard for him, huh?" he asked.

I looked at him and for the millionth time I felt so bad that I had hurt him by sleeping with Sam. "Yea. I'm sorry I put you both through that."

He shook his head at me and said, "I told you to stop apologizing for that. It's done. It's in the past. Maya is here and she is all ours." I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. I really didn't deserve him.

Rachel and Billy came back for a little while and then after dinner, Mom brought Charlie in. He was so happy about the baby! You'd think he was really the grandpa.

"Let me see this little beauty," he said as he walked over to me. I was holding Maya and he leaned down to take a look. "Oh Leah. She's really something. Looks just like her dad."

"Yea, that's what everyone keeps telling me." He smiled at me and then turned his gaze back to Maya. "Would you like to hold her?" I asked.

He glanced over and said, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Grandpa Charlie, I'm sure. Here take her. Put your hand under her head and the other under her butt. There you go." He held her in his hands and I saw a look of amazement, mixed with sadness. I had a feeling he was thinking about Reneesme. He never got to hold her as a baby. He didn't really get to know her much at all, and now she was gone. And Bella was all grown up and gone, too.

"Hey there, sweet pea. I'm your Grandpa Charlie. Your Grandpa Billy and me are going to take you fishing just as soon as you're big enough to hold a pole." I looked over at Mom and watched her watch Charlie. Then she glanced at me and we shared a smile. "Jake, you've got a fine family here, son."

"Thanks. I think so," Jake answered. Charlie held Maya out to Seth and he took her. I saw Charlie turn away from us and heard him sniff as he wiped his eyes. Then he mumbled something about having to call the station and he made his way out of the room. Mom excused herself to go after him.

Seth came over and sat down in the chair by the bed. "He was thinking about Nessie, wasn't he?" Seth asked.

I nodded and looked at Jake. "Probably. At least he will get a second chance with Maya. We don't mind him playing Grandpa, do we?"

He smiled. "Nope. I'm glad that Maya has such a big family to love her."

"Me, too. That reminds me, did you get a hold of Becca to let her know?"

"Yea. I left her a message when she was first born, and she finally called me back this morning while you were in the shower. I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you! The guys came right after that and . . . "

"That's OK."

"Well, she sends her love and she said that she made something for her and it is on it's way. I have no idea what that will be."

Maya started fussing so Seth said, "Oh, look, Maya wants her mommy." He stood up and handed the baby to me.

"It's about time to feed her again. I started to undo my gown and Seth looked at me in horror. "God, Leah, don't be whipping that thing out yet. Let me get out of here first!" He turned and made a quick exit as Jake laughed heartily.

"Well, now we know how to get alone time. You just whip out your boob!" I laughed with him as I fed Maya. It was a really weird sensation at first, but I was getting used to it. As I looked down at our baby, I felt tears come to my eyes. I was still amazed that I, Leah Clearwater Black, was a mom. It was something I never thought I would ever be, let alone love so much.

I was just drifting off to sleep that night when I heard someone come into the room. I thought maybe Jake had come back, but when I opened my eyes, I saw Sam standing by Maya's crib. "Sam?"

"Oh, hey, I didn't mean to wake you. I just stopped by to . . . um, say hi, and . . . "

"It's OK. It's kind of late, thought. Everything alright?" I asked with concern.

He nodded and said, "Yea, fine. Um, do you mind if I hold her?"

"No. Go right ahead," I told him as I scooted to sit up in the bed.

I watched as he bent over the little bassinet and carefully scooped the baby up and carried her over to me. He stood by my bed quietly looking down at her. "She's really beautiful, Leah."

"Thanks. I think so, but I am biased."

He looked up and smiled. "I guess we didn't need to really do a paternity test, huh? One look at her and you can tell she's Jake's."

"Yea. EVERYONE thinks so. I hope she gets something from me."

He sunk slowly down into the chair by the bed. "So where's Em?" I asked as he settled Maya into the crook of his arm.

"She's still at her sister's. They were going through maternity and baby clothes. I'm on my way to pick her up." I nodded. "Where's Jake?"

"Seth finally convinced him to go home and get a good night's sleep before we take Maya home sometime tomorrow." It was his turn to nod. I looked over at him and asked softly, "Why are you here, Sam?"

His head came up as he said, "I don't know, really. I was just . . . kind of in shock when we were here yesterday. I guess I wanted to come back and see you and the baby to kind of apologize. It was harder than I thought it would be . . . seeing you with Jake's baby."

Oh. Yea. "I thought we said our goodbyes, Sam. You have a baby of your own on the way."

"I know, Leah, and I am very happy about that. You have no idea how excited I am about having a baby with Emily. I was really good until yesterday. Sitting here and holding your baby . . . makes me a little sad, I guess. All those times we talked about our future, and getting married and having babies . . . I never really thought that we would be doing that with other people."

We did talk about it so much the last few months we were together. We had our whole lives mapped out. "I know. I remember," I said quietly as I looked in his eyes. "But things don't always work out like we think they should. And sometimes, it's for the best."

He gave me a small smile. "I can tell when I look at you and Jake that you two were meant to be. You love each other so much."

"So do you and Emily. What we had was puppy love compared to what we have now, Sam."

"Yea. I felt bad the other day though when Emily innocently suggested naming the baby after me if it's a boy. She even said, 'We could call him Sammy.' I about bit her head off! I just told her I was tired and I didn't mean to snap at her. But, I couldn't do that now. That was our name, and . . . well, I just couldn't."

"I know. Jake suggested Mary one day and I did the same thing. Remember how we talked about naming our baby Mary after your mom?"

He nodded. "Yea, I do."

"The memories are sweet, but we have to remember to keep them in the past."

"Yep. I know." He stood up and looked down at me. "Well, I really should go."

"Thanks for coming back. I'm glad you did."

He bent down and carefully put Maya into my arms. He put a gentle kiss on my forehead then he surprised me by doing the same to Maya. "Take care, Leah." He smiled then turned and left the room. I watched him go then I looked down at Maya. "Well, Miss Maya, that was Sam. He was my first love and very important to me. But I have your daddy now, and he is all I will ever want."

Just then Maya yawned. I laughed and said to her, "Well, I'm sorry if my love life bores you." I ran my finger lightly over her cheek. "Just wait. Someday you will have a love life . . . well, if your father doesn't kill all of the boys in a 100 mile radius, and then we'll talk, missy."


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

Jake POV:

Leah was sleeping and I was sitting in the rocking chair holding our daughter, Maya Rachel. I was enjoying this nice quiet moment getting to know my daughter. I gazed at her perfect little face and felt this rush of love I had never felt before. I loved Leah with my whole heart, but this love was so different. This little girl was a part of me and a part of Leah. I was so amazed by her. I rested my huge finger on her little chest and she curled her small hand around it. It was the most incredible feeling in the world. I know that everyone thought I was too young to be a dad at 19, but right now, it seemed the most natural thing in the world.

"Hey," I heard Leah say softly. I looked up at her as she rolled over to face me and smile. "She still sleeping?"

"Yea. She makes these cute little sounds when she sleeps," I told her. "She's holding my finger and it feels so incredible." I felt tears stinging my eyes yet again. I felt like I was turning into a big ball of mush. "Look at this. She has me wrapped around her little finger already."

"You pushover."

"Yea, I really am when it comes to the women in my life." I smiled softly at Leah. "Are you ready to go home tomorrow?"

"Yes and no. I kind of like the special treatment I'm getting here at the hospital. And I'm a little afraid of going home and having to take care of her. It's scary being responsible for such a little person."

"I know. But I'll be there to help. And so will Seth, and your Mom and Rachel. And I'm sure Emily will be over, too. We have lots of help."

"I guess," she said as she reached out to gently touch Maya on the arm. "We can do this."

"Damn right we can. We can do anything, as long as we do it together," I told her.

She gave me a beautiful smile. "I love your enthusiasm. Remember that when she's screaming her head off at two in the morning."

"It'll be OK." I turned my gaze back to Maya. It would be OK. We were a family of three now. We could do anything.

I brought Leah and the baby home and got them settled in and we actually had a whole half hour of peace and quiet. And that was it. From then on, Maya was hungry, or tired, or poopy or dirty. It was never ending! Sometimes she just cried for no reason! Thank God for Sue and Rachel and Emily. They helped so much those first two weeks to help us get into a routine. Seth was great around the house with the cleaning and some cooking, but he refused to change poopy diapers. I couldn't really blame him there. It wasn't my favorite chore either, but it had to be done.

"When is she going be old enough to play with? She's kind of boring right now." Seth was holding Maya while I was folding laundry. We were letting Leah grab a quick nap.

I chuckled as I folded a towel. "Before you know it, she'll be running around here and you'll get tired chasing her."

Seth smiled and looked back down at Maya. "Don't you wonder what babies dream about? I mean, all she knows is eating, pooping, and getting a bath. None of that is very exciting."

I chuckled and said, "I don't know, Seth. Where do come up with this shit?"

"She makes little noises when she sleeps. I guess it made me wonder if she was dreaming."

I rolled my eyes at him then smiled. "I don't know. Maybe she does."

Seth was really good with the baby. He really liked to hold her and he even helped Leah give her baths. I had a feeling that Maya would be close with her Uncle Seth.

After the first few weeks, we finally settled into a routine and needed less help. Leah and I were sitting on the couch one night watching some TV. I was holding Maya, who had just been fed and burped and was now sleeping peacefully. Leah laid her head on my shoulder and I had this feeling come over me. Sitting here with my family, I felt, so . . . complete. This was what life was all about. This made all the craziness worth it.

Then there was the afternoon I came home from running patrol to find Leah sitting in the recliner in her pajamas crying her eyes out. Her hair was a mess and she had baby puke on her shirt. "Honey, what's wrong?" I asked as I walked over to her. I kneeled down in front of her and took her hand.

"I can't do this Jake. I'm just not a good mom. I want to be, but she cries all the time and I can't keep up with all the diapers, and laundry and . . . Seth is back to school now and I can't keep calling my mommy all the time. Why can't I do this?" she said as she sobbed. Great. Postpartum depression has set in. Poor Leah. Poor me.

I smiled and took her into my arms. "Leah, no one expects you to be Supermom. Babies are a lot of work, I know. But you are a good mom. And you'll get the hang of this, I know you will. As she gets older, it will get easier."

She pushed me away and said, "You're just saying that to make me stop crying. It's not going to work." She sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"Well, what could I say to make you stop crying?" I reached up and brushed her hair out of her face.

She smiled through her tears and said, "How about, 'Hey baby, come here and let me rock your world!' "

I really laughed at her and said, "You don't know how badly I want that. It has been waaaayyyy too long for us to go without sex."

"I know, right?" she said.

"But you remember that Carlisle said we had to wait six weeks, and you need to be on the pill. I don't think we want more babies right now, do we?"

"NO! I love my baby but no, I can't. Not right now. But I want you, Jake. Really, really bad."

I laughed as I looked at her, in dirty pajamas and her hair all standing up and thought how badly I wanted her, too. I took her face in my hands and kissed her. Really kissed her, like I hadn't done in weeks. She clung to me and kissed me back. After a few minutes of that, I said, "Look, we only have two more weeks. Then you will go to the doctor, and I promise, I will rock your world. OK?"

She smiled and hugged me. "I will hold you to that, you know."

"You better." I pulled away and looked at her. Then I looked around and listened. "Honey? Where is the baby, and why is it so quiet?"

"I was freaking out cause Maya wouldn't stop crying, so Mom put her in their stroller and took her for a walk. I'm supposed to be taking a shower."

"Well, then get off your ass and get into the bathroom. Only, don't take a shower. Take a nice, long hot bath. I will clean up around here a little bit, order a couple of pizzas and when your mom brings Maya home, I'll take care of her, OK?"

"Jacob Black, I love you," she said with a grateful smile.

"I love you, too. Now go, before I change my mind!" She jumped out of the chair and ran down the hall and slammed the bathroom door behind her. I smiled and shook my head then stood up and started cleaning up.

A couple more weeks went by, and Leah went for her check-up with Carlisle. He told her she was doing fine, and he had already given her a prescription for the pill, which she started taking a couple of weeks ago. He was trying a pretty strong dose because he was worried about her unusual high body temperature burning it off and making it ineffective. He told her that she might be extra moody for awhile until her hormones evened out. _Great. A moody Leah. Like we had never experienced THAT before. _

On the weekend after she had seen Carlisle for her check-up, she asked her mom to take Maya for the night then she made dinner and was waiting for me when I got home from Dad's. We had spent the afternoon going over some tribal business. We had a tribal council meeting coming up next week and I didn't want to be caught off guard on anything. I walked into the kitchen and kissed her on the cheek. "Do I smell chili dogs?"

She gave me a beautiful smile. "Yes, you do. Why don't you go shower and it will be ready when you're done."

So, I showered and walked back out to the kitchen wearing just a pair of gym shorts. Leah smiled and walked over and ran her hand down my chest. "You know, when we first lived in our apartment, and you used to come home from work and shower then walk out to dinner like this, it used to drive me crazy. I swore you did it on purpose."

"I didn't at first. I just didn't think about it, because I was so used to walking around in just a pair of shorts. But after I caught you looking at me a few times, I decided it was kind of fun to see you look at me like that."

Her eyes lit up at our memories of our apartment. "Well, sit down and let's eat."

"Man, you're the best," I told her as I bit into my first chili dog. I shared with her my afternoon with Dad, as she was going to sit on the council, too. She asked me some questions and made some comments. During dinner she was so relaxed. It was good to see her like that. I knew Maya was a lot of work and it took a toll on her. But I also knew how much she loved Maya and it made her happy to do it.

After dinner, I helped her clean up, then I put my arms around her and whispered in her ear, "Hey, baby, come here and let me rock your world."

She smiled and said, "I thought you would never ask." I kissed her on the lips and she pressed herself against me. It had been way too long since we had been together. Almost three months. She had lost her baby weight pretty quickly and she was already wearing her old jeans and as I ran my hands down over her ass I realized how good she really looked. I could feel myself getting excited already at the thought of being with her again. Our tongues darted in and out as it was getting hot and heavy between us. I broke away and took her hand and led her upstairs.

As I unbuttoned her blouse I said, "Leah, I know it's been a long time, and I am going to try really hard to take my time. I want us to enjoy our time together." I slid it off of her shoulders as she was kissing my chest and running her hands over my shoulders. I brushed her hair away from her face and then let my hand slide down to graze over her breast. She sighed and said, "I want to go slow, too, but I don't know if I can. I've been thinking of you all afternoon . . . " She pulled my lips back to hers and I could feel that fire build in the pit of my stomach. Her hands glided across my shoulders as she bit at my lip. I reached out and ran my hand gently down her side and I saw her shudder. She reached behind her and unfastened her bra, and pulled it away. "I pumped my breast milk, but I can't promise I won't leak. I'm so sorry," she said with some embarrassment.

"It's OK. I remember you told me that these would belong to the baby for awhile. But someday . . ." I leaned down and kissed one breast, and then the other. We moved to the bed and lay down and I ran my hands over her nipples and she arched her back and moaned. We tried to go slow, but three months was too long to store up all that sexual energy. I had her jeans off in no time and she was so wet, I couldn"t take it. I was on top of her and she was crying out before I had hardly moved. I drove into her and enjoyed that sweet moment of release. "Baby, I'm sorry. I told you I didn't think I could take it very slow."

She laughed and said, "That's slower than I wanted. I was ready to jump you in the kitchen!" I laughed and kissed her.

"We have all night you know," I told her.

"Mmmm, I'm so glad. Because I have so many things that I want to do to you," she murmured as she kissed my shoulder. And I loved each and every one of them.

The next morning, I opened my eyes and looked over to see Leah still asleep. I decided to let her sleep in a little longer since the baby wasn't here. I stretched and realized I actually missed the little booger. I got out of bed as quietly as I could and walked to the kitchen to start the coffee. Once I got coffee brewing, I looked out the kitchen window and noticed it was a beautiful sunny fall day. Maybe we could take Maya for a walk later today. I found I liked pushing the stroller and walking with Leah. It was really relaxing. And the baby loved being outside and on the move.

I scrambled some eggs and made some toast then poured two cups of coffee and put them on a tray. I carried it back to the bedroom and set it down on the floor. I crawled into bed and kissed Leah on the cheek. "Baby, I made you breakfast," I said in her ear.

"Mmmmm, I smell coffee," she mumbled. She rolled over and looked at me. "Why are you up already?"

"It's after ten, sleepy head," I told her.

She sat up and scraped her hair out of her face. "Coffee," she demanded.

I laughed and picked up her cup of coffee then handed it to her. She took a drink then sighed. "Better," she sighed. I picked up the tray and put it on the bed. "You made breakfast? You're so sweet."

"Yea, I know. It's my middle name, remember?" She smiled as she picked up her fork to eat. We finished our breakfast then I put the dishes on the tray and leaned back. Leah curled up next to me and put her hand on my stomach.

"This was really nice of my mom. I owe her big," Leah said.

"Mmmm, hmmm." I was getting really relaxed and I wondered if I could get away with laying here a little longer. "What time are we supposed to pick up the baby?" I asked.

"I told Mom around noon," she answered as she slowly traced little circles on my stomach with her fingers. I found it was relaxing and exciting at the same time. I was trying to decide between a nap or sex. Right now, both seemed very enticing.

I was just dozing off when my phone rang. I had it on the floor by the bed and Leah jumped. "Sorry. I better get that," I told her. She sat up so I could answer it. "Hello?"

"Jake! She's gone! I don't know what happened. I can't . . ." This voice was screaming into the phone.

"Sue? Calm down, I can't understand you. What's wrong?"

"It's Maya, Jake! She's gone! I put her in the stroller to walk her through the park. Someone hit me and I fell and when I got up, she was gone! I called Charlie and he's got men out looking." My heart was beating out of my chest right now. All of a sudden I was in the middle of a parent's worst nightmare.

Leah was watching me and pulling on my arm. "What? Jake!" I got out of bed and stated looking for my pants. "Sue, where are you now?"

"I'm at the station with Charlie. Oh God, I'm so sorry. I'm . . . " she as sobbing and I couldn't hear her anymore.

"I'm on my way." I threw the phone on the bed and grabbed my shorts off of the floor.

Leah was on her knees on the bed and she grabbed my arm and yelled, "Jake I know something's wrong. Tell me."

Her eyes were anxious and full of fear. _How could I tell her? Best just to say it._ "Maya is missing," I told her quickly as I pulled my shorts on.

"WHAT?" she screamed. "My baby . . . is missing? What? How?" I tried to tell her what her mom just told me. "Oh God, Jake, we have to find her!" She scrambled off the bed and started looking for clothes.

I picked up the phone and dialed Sam. "Hello?"

"Sam, I can't talk long, but I need your help." I filled him in quickly. I knew it happened in Forks, but I would need their help in tracking. He replied quickly, "I'll call the pack. We'll take off toward Forks. Let me know when you have more details."

"Thanks, Sam." I threw the phone down and noticed Leah was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. She was shoving her feet into her old Vans when she yelled, "Let's go!" I nodded as she ran out the bedroom door. I had my shoes on and I grabbed a t-shirt as I followed her.

"Leah! Make sure you grab your phone. We need to stay in contact." She ran to the kitchen and grabbed her purse and made sure she had her phone. She held it up and we opened the door and ran to the Jeep. I started it up and took off as fast as I could toward Forks.

Tears streamed down her face as she started to realize how desperate this situation was. "Oh God, Jake. What if we can't find her? Who would want to take her?"

I had been thinking about that. Someone who wanted a baby girl. I could think of someone that just lost a baby girl . . . but I really didn't want to go there. Leah was sobbing now. I couldn't really blame her. I was trying hard to keep myself in control.

"Leah, stop! You have to get a hold of yourself. I need you to focus, OK? I need you to help me find our daughter." I hated to pull an Alpha order, but I would if she wouldn't stop.

She drew in a ragged breath and tried to calm herself. "I'm so . . . sorry. I'm . . . just so . . . scared."

I took her hand in mind as I drove. "I am, too. But we will find her. You have to believe that."

She nodded and drew in another ragged breath. She was trying her best to hold herself together.

I drove like a mad man to Forks and into the parking lot of the Sheriff Station. Leah jumped out of the car before I turned off the engine and ran for the door. I was right behind her. Sue was sitting in Charlie's office holding a baby blanket in her hands. Leah ran to her and squatted down in front of her. "Mom," she said and Sue pulled her into her arms. "Oh Leah, I am so sorry," she sobbed. Leah held her then I noticed her eyes grow wide as she called out, "Jake!" I moved to her side as she stood and held the baby blanket out to me.

"What?" She shoved in my face and I caught it: a hint of vampire stink. I looked at her quickly then asked, "Sue, where's the stroller?"

Sue looked at me strangely and pointed over to the corner. I stepped over quickly and smelled. Maya's little sunhat was laying there and I picked it up and held it to my face. Definitely vampire stench. Sue asked, "What's going on?"

We were alone in the office and Leah closed the door and said, "Jake and I both smell vampire. Maya was taken on purpose." All of a sudden, she yelled, "That bitch! Why would she do this, Jake? Because she lost her baby, she thinks she can take mine?" I saw the raw hatred in Leah's eyes.

Sue's eyes lit up as she realized who Leah was talking about. "You think Bella did this?"

I shook my head. I knew it wasn't Bella. I looked at Leah and said, "No. It was Rosalie."

Leah shot a look at me. "How can you be sure? You're not just protecting Bella, are you?"

That pissed me off. "Leah, for God's sake, how can you even ask me that?" I yelled angrily. "No, I'm not protecting Bella. I visited them right before the baby died, remember? Rose was hanging over the crib like the creepy vampire she is, and she did not want me anywhere near that baby. She looked at Bella with such hatred when Bella asked her to step back so I could see her. Besides, this is not Bella's scent." Unfortunately, I had been close enough to Bella now that I would recognize her scent.

"I do remember Bella telling me that Rose spent more time with the baby than she did. Oh God, Jake. She wouldn't hurt Maya, would she?"

"I don't know. Do me a favor, call Carlisle and tell him what we suspect and see if he knows where Rosalie is right now." Leah nodded and took out her phone.

I needed to phase and talk to Sam and the pack. I started pacing back and forth trying to decide what to do. All I knew at that moment was that I would get my baby back, even if I had to kill Rosalie to do it.

Leah POV:

"Carlisle! It's Leah. I need your help."

"Of course. What is it?" Carlisle answered.

"Do you know where Rosalie is right now? It's really important that I find her."

"She and Emmett when out hunting this morning, why?"

"She's not hunting. We think that she stole our baby. Maya was taken this morning, and there was vampire scent on her blanket and the hat that was left in the stroller. If I bring you the blanket and hat, can you identify the scent?"

"Yes, of course, but I can't believe that Rosalie would do something like this. She has been very withdrawn since Reneesme . . . but to steal someone else's child?"

"Carlisle, can you give us permission to cross the treaty line to look for my baby? Please?"

"Yes, certainly. But, if Rosalie is behind this . . . I just ask that you don't hurt her."

_How could I promise that? If she had my baby, I would rip her to shreds myself._ "We won't if we don't have to. You have to realize that I have to protect my baby? She wouldn't hurt her, would she?"

He was quiet for a moment then he said, "I don't think she would hurt her, no." I had the feeling he wanted to say more, but didn't.

"Thank you, Carlisle. I'll be over soon." I hung up and looked at Jake. "We have permission to cross the line."

He nodded and walked over to Sue. He leaned down and hugged her to him. "Please stay here, Sue. If you decide to go home, have Charlie drive you." He pulled away and went on. "Tell him that we suspect that Rosalie has taken Maya, and see if he will put out an APB on her. If you hear ANYTHING, please call Leah right away." Mom just nodded but said nothing. I knew she felt horrible that Maya was taken away from us . . . from her.

Then he looked at me and said, "I'm going to catch up to the pack. We'll split up and try and track her. You take the blanket to Carlisle. What bothers me is Alice should have seen this coming. She sees things before they happen. And even now, she should be able to read Rosalie's thoughts. I need you to find out why she didn't, or why they didn't stop her. Get news to me as soon as you can. If I need you, I'll come to the back of the Cullen house."

I just nodded and looked at him. He pulled me into his arms and said, "We'll find her, Leah. I swear to you, I will find her." I clung to him and to that promise. He kissed me and quickly said, "I love you." Then he opened the office door and left.

I walked over to Mom and hugged her again. I didn't want her to think that I was mad at her or that I blamed her. "I have to go," I said to her quietly.

She was crying again and she said, "I am so sorry. I should have stayed home. I shouldn't have taken her out, but I didn't know."

I put my arm around her shoulder and said, "Mom, I don't blame you. It could have been me. She's obviously been keeping an eye on our movement, which terrifies me. We'll find her, Mom. I promise. Stay in touch, OK?"

She nodded and I kissed her on the cheek. I grabbed Maya's blanket and sun hat and headed for the car. I noticed that the baby bag was missing, so she had diapers and at least one bottle. I was going to assume that meant that she wanted to take care of Maya. I had to cling to that. I got in and drove out of town toward the Cullen house. I realized that I had never driven there before. I had only ever been there as a wolf. I almost missed the drive – I had to slam on the brakes and whip the car into the driveway. I drove along the path and finally reached the house. I slammed the car into park, grabbed the blanket and hat and headed to the door.

I pounded on the door and Carlisle answered it. "Come in," he said, like he was inviting me in for tea. Why did he always sound so polite?

"Thank you, "I said curtly. "Here is the blanket and hat. Please see if you know the scent?" I handed it to him and he held them to his face for a moment. I could see by his expression he knew exactly who it was. He looked at me and said softly, "It's Rose."

"Why would she do this? Is she so crazy from grief that she would steal my baby? And why didn't Alice see this?"

Carlisle shook his head. He walked over to a sofa and sat down, still holding the blanket. I followed him and sat down. "Alice and Jasper are with Edward and Bella. They are back from Europe and Alice convinced them to go north to hunt for awhile and to continue to . . . heal. They were so devastated at the loss of Reneesme. Edward wanted to die, and he would have if we had not forced him to drink."

"Can you call Alice? Can she see where Rosalie has taken Maya?"

"Of course. I should have thought of that. I . . . I'm just so stunned by Rosalie's behavior." He pulled a cell phone from his pocket and quickly dialed. "Alice. I need you to see if you can find Rosalie. Have you seen anything about her and a baby? Jake and Leah's daughter, Maya, was taken this morning. Leah is here with me. She has a blanket that was with the baby when she was taken, and it has Rosalie's scent on it. I need your help. Alright. Call me back. Thank you." He closed the phone and looked at me. "She didn't see anything, so it must have been a last minute decision."

So she wasn't stalking us. That's good. She must have seen Mom at the park and decided then to take Maya. I put my head in my hands. _I need to stay strong here. Don't fall apart, Leah. You have to stay strong for your daughter._

Esme walked into the room and said so sympathetically, "Hello, Leah. I am so sorry your daughter is missing." I looked up at her and nodded. Carlisle handed Esme the baby blanket. She looked at him strangely then he said, "The scent." She held it to her and then she looked at Carlisle and shook her head. "No, it can't be. She wouldn't . . ."

Carlisle stood up and put his arm around Esme. "I'm afraid she did. I called Alice to see if she could try and find her."

I looked at them and a thought popped into my head. "Why would Emmett let her do this? I can't see him going along with this."

Carlisle looked at me and said, "I can't either. I know he's been extremely worried about her, but to let her do this . . . I just don't know."

His phone must have vibrated, because I didn't hear it ring but he opened it and put it to his ear. "Yes. What? You can't see . . . oh yes. I should have thought of that. Well, I guess that means . . . alright. You and Edward keep trying and call me if you get anything. Thank you." He closed the phone. "She must have the baby. As Alice just pointed out, your baby is like you, Leah. Alice can't see someone who is with a werewolf."

He read my confused expression and explained, "Remember when Bella jumped off of the cliff and Jacob pulled her out of the water? Alice saw her go into the water, but she never saw her being pulled out and that's why she assumed she died. She can't see werewolves. And they tend to shield anyone else they are with. So, since Alice can't see Rosalie, it is our assumption it is because she is with your baby. Alice believes that she is trying hard to make decisions at the last minute so Alice can't see what she is planning."

I closed my eyes. So, she had Maya. But where? And how would we find her? She could be anywhere in the world! She had money, a passport. I could feel the panic rising as I looked at Carlisle and asked anxiously, "How will we find her now? She could be anywhere!"

Esme put her arm around my shoulders. I knew she was trying to comfort me, but the stench in here was really starting to get to me. I needed to be outside. I needed to communicate what I just heard to Jake. I looked at them and said, "I need to go out to the back of the house. I need to phase and let Jake know what we just found out." They both nodded and Esme walked me to the back door. "Thank you," I said as I opened the door and walked outside.

I took a deep breath and tried to fill my lungs with fresh air and calm down. Then I jogged a little ways into the wood to undress and phase. I stripped down and stood there for a second. I hadn't phased in over 10 months. _Well, here goes_. I took a few steps and . . . nothing. OK_, Leah, concentrate. Use your anger at Rosalie._ I took off at a run and concentrated and willed my body to phase. Nothing. I felt, nothing. _Oh my God! I can't phase! What's happening to me?_ I tried over and over, but I couldn't do it. I felt the panic rising again. _How would I help them find my baby? How could I tell Jake what I just found out?_

I did the only thing I knew to do. I started screaming Jake's name. I ran back and pulled on my clothes and kept shouting for Jake or Seth or anyone. Finally Seth came running up. "Oh thank God!" I said as I ran up to him hopping on one foot while I tried to put my foot in my shoe. "Seth, I can't phase! I don't know why, but I can't. Listen, we know that Rosalie has Maya for sure. Carlisle recognized her scent on Maya's blanket, and he called Alice to see if she could find her. Alice can't see her, so we know that means she has the baby. Alice can't see werewolves. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

He nodded his huge head. I leaned into the side of him and said sadly, "Seth, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to find her. What if we never see her again?" I felt the tears coming and I let them. I know Seth couldn't put his arms around me, but just leaning against his big, strong wolf body helped. I heard him whine as he felt my pain. He loved Maya so much and I knew he was hurting, too.

Finally I made myself step away. "Where is Jake? Can you tell him to come to me? I need to see him and talk to him." Seth nodded then he looked out to the woods. It was only seconds before Jake came running to me. He phased quickly and took me into his arms. Seth ran off into the woods to leave us alone. "Oh Jake. I'm sorry, but I needed you."

"I'm right here, honey," he said as he held me tight. "As soon as Seth let me know you couldn't phase, I took off." He stepped back to look at me. "Why can't you phase?"

"I don't know. I tried over and over, and nothing. Not even a little tingle. I'm sorry. I want to be out there with you, looking for Maya."

"I know, but, I think it's better if you stay here with Carlisle. You can find out what's going on and then let us know. I'll make sure that there is one of us within shouting distance of here at all times, OK? That way, you can keep us updated."

"Have you come across anything at all out there? Any trail?" I asked hopefully.

He shook his head dejectedly. "Nothing new."

I tried to fill him in on everything Carlisle told me about his conversation with Alice. "They are all gone? How far away?" he asked.

"I don't know. He just said, 'up north.' I figured he meant Denali? Isn't that where they usually go?" Jake nodded.

Suddenly he reached down and pulled on his shorts. He took my hand and started walking back toward the Cullen house. "What?" I asked as we jogged.

"I need to talk to Bella," he said. Instantly, anger went through me at just the sound of her name coming from his lips. But, I would have to let that go. I knew I would work with Satan himself to get my baby back.

We reached the house and Jake walked right in. I forgot that he practically lived here once. He reached Carlisle and asked if he could borrow a phone to call Bella. He handed Jake a phone and then I heard him say, "Bella? It's Jake. I need your help."

Jake POV:

"Jake, I'm so sorry. I knew Rose was not dealing well with our loss, but to do this . . ." Bella said.

"Can you help? Can you give us any ideas on where she might have gone? Where she might have taken our baby?"

"Alice is trying so hard right now to see something. We are all trying to think of where she might go. Edward's range only goes so far. We are on our way back home now. We are hoping that Edward will hear her soon. If she is still in the area . . ."

"That's what terrifies me," I admitted. "I'm at the house now with Carlisle. Call him as soon as you hear anything and he will get the message to me, OK?"

"Of course I will."

"Thanks, Bella." I closed the phone and handed it back to Carlisle. I guess I just had to know that Bella wasn't with Rosalie. A small part of me did suspect her at first, but I was glad that was not the case. I looked at Leah and said, "They are on their way back here. Edward is trying to hear Rosalie, but he is still out of range." She nodded. I looked over at Carlisle and Esme. "Do you have any idea at all where she might go? A special place she likes, anything? And where is Emmett? I just don't see him letting her do this."

"Letting her do what?" I heard from behind me. I turned to see Emmett come in the back door.

Leah launched herself at him and yelled, "Where is she? Where is Rosalie? Where is my baby?" Leah hit Emmett with her fists on his rock hard chest.

He grabbed her by the wrists and yelled, "Whoa, wolf girl! She's out hunting, why?"

"No she's not, you ass! She stole my baby!" Leah screamed back.

I could see by his expression he had no idea what she was talking about. Carlisle and I moved at the same time toward Emmett and Leah. I reached out and pulled Leah back away from Emmett as Carlisle said, "It's true, Emmett. Rosalie went to Forks this morning and took Jake and Leah's baby girl, Maya. And now, they are both missing. When was the last time you saw Rose?"

"Uh, I don't know. We both left here this morning to go out and hunt. We stayed together for awhile then she took off after a deer and I never saw her come back. I thought she would be here by now," Emmett answered.

"You're sure? She never said anything to you at all? She just left?" I asked him.

"Yea, we don't always stay together when we hunt. We go after whatever we can find. There's nothing unusual about that."

"Shit!" I turned away from him and walked to the window to look out. I heard Carlisle quickly fill Emmett in on what we knew so far.

"Come on, Rose has been sad since Nessie . . . but to take someone's baby? Jacob's baby? She hates Jacob!"

"Maybe if we could look in her room, we might find some kind of clue?" Leah suggested.

I quickly looked to Carlisle and Esme. They looked at Emmett. He nodded. I didn't think about them sharing a room, but of course they would. He walked toward the stairs and we all followed him. He stopped at the door and allowed us to go in. "I have no idea what to look for," Leah said.

We walked around the room slowly looking for anything that might give us a clue as to where Rosalie would have gone with our baby. "Does she have a passport? I mean, do you travel conventionally?"

Emmett rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "No, we turn into bats and fly wherever we want to go."

I shot him a look and Carlisle spoke up. "Yes, we fly commercial and yes, she has a passport."

"Do you know where she keeps it? If it's gone, we'll know she's heading out of the country."

Carlisle nodded and said, "I keep all of our important documents in my office. I'll go and look." He left the room.

As Leah was poking through the dresser drawers, I glanced at Emmett. He was standing there staring at his shoes. He looked up at me and said, "Jacob, I'm sorry. I knew she wasn't doing well with the baby dying, but, to do this? She never said a word. I had no idea." I knew he was telling the truth. She kept him in the dark, too. Maybe it was just a spur of the moment decision. She saw Sue with Maya and just decided to go for it.

"I need to get back out there, Leah." I couldn't just stand here and do nothing. I wanted to be out there tracking her. She looked up at me and nodded. I stepped over and took her in my arms. "You keep looking and come out and shout if you hear anything, OK?"

"I will." I kissed her then turned to go.

"I'm coming with you." I turned back to look at Emmett. "Look, dude. I know you're mad as hell right now at her and you have every right to be. But I love her, and I want to find her just as much as you do."

"And you want to make sure I don't kill her in the process of getting my baby back," I finished for him. He stared at me and nodded ever so slightly. "How do I know if you find her first you won't hide her from us?"

I could see his anger flare up. "I promise you, if I find her and the baby, I will make sure you get your baby returned safely. I would never keep your kid from you. But you have to know, I love her and I need to find her. And I will protect her."

We stared each other down for a few seconds . . . then finally I said, "Let's go." He knew her best of anyone, and I had a feeling he could help us "talk her down" when we found her. We left the room together and jogged down the stairs and out the back door. I whipped my shorts off and tied them to my ankle and phased. As I ran, I replayed the conversation between Emmett and me so the pack would understand why he was running with us.

"_Are you fucking serious, Jake? Bringing along the bitch's boy toy?" _Paul had never been Emmett's biggest fan.

"_He's the last one to see her. He knows her scent better than any of us. He can help. Now shut up and get to work!" _I wasn't in the mood for any of his childish hissy fits today.

Emmett called out to me, "The last place I saw her was this way." We all followed him and I picked up Rose's scent. _"Everyone get that scent in your nose. Seth! Stay close to the house so you can hear Leah's call. The rest of you, let's go!" _Emmett and I were out front and the rest of the pack followed. Emmett was right to come with me. Because if I found her first and she had hurt Maya in any way, I wouldn't hesitate to rip her apart. And I wouldn't stop until she was ashes.

_A/N: OK, so Jake and Leah have pretty happy for a long time. But, life always kicks up a little trouble, so here it is! Those damn vampires always seem to create trouble for Jake and Leah. . ._

_Thanks again for all the love. I'm happy you all are enjoying the story!_


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

Leah POV:

I pulled out drawers and looked on shelves and under the bed. There really wasn't much clutter. Apparently vampires aren't known to own much stuff. I stood in the middle of the room and realized I had no idea what I was looking for, but I had to keep looking. I was determined to find something that would lead us to our daughter. I stepped inside the huge walk-in closet. It was full of clothes, and shoes, and boots and hats, and anything else you could wear! About three quarters of it was Rosalie's and maybe one quarter belonged to Emmett. Typical. Everything was very neatly organized. There was nothing out of place.

I scouted around and then looked up. There were several shelves, and all of them had things neatly lined up. As I was moving stuff around on a shelf above my head, something fell and hit the floor. I kneeled down to discover it was an old fancy hat box, and the lid had come off in the fall. I sat the box up and looked inside. I found lots of old pictures, along with letters and newspaper articles. I held up an old faded photo and saw a very different Rosalie smiling at me. She was dressed up in old-fashioned clothes, wearing a hat and gloves. She was as beautiful as a human as she was as a vampire. Only in the picture, she looked so happy and carefree. I was so used to seeing a scowl on her face. Of course, I used to have that scowl, too. This Rosalie was standing beside another young girl who was dressed in the same period of clothing, but not as fancy as Rose's and she was holding a baby. I had no idea who she was.

I set the picture down and looked through some of the other things. I found a lot of newspaper articles from a paper called _The Town Gazette_. I wasn't familiar with that paper. Some of the articles were old and discolored, and were mostly wedding and birth announcements. I wondered if she was keeping up with old classmates. Then I noticed that some of the articles looked new. I picked up one of the newer ones and noticed a picture of a house. I scanned the article quickly. It was about this house and how it had become an eyesore and the town was recommending it be torn down. I looked at the picture. It was a beautiful old house with a big front porch, but you could see that no one had taken care of it in years. _What did this house mean to Rose? Was it where she grew up maybe?_

I found another article that stated that someone had bought the old Hale house and it was going to be renovated. I looked at the date on the article. It was from a year ago. _Did Rose buy it? Was she the one fixing it up?_

"Find anything?" I jumped at Esme's question. I was so involved with my investigation that I hadn't heard her come in. I was now sitting on the floor with all of the stuff from the hat box around me. Esme kneeled down beside me and picked up one of the old pictures. "Look at this," she said softly. "She's always been beautiful."

I handed her the article that I had just been reading. "Do you know anything about this?" She took it from me and scanned the article. "Did Rosalie ever mention anything about this house? It must mean something to her or she wouldn't have cut out all of these articles and kept them. Do you think that she is the one that bought it and is renovating it?"

Esme shook her head slowly as she quickly read the article. "I don't know. She never said anything to me. But I do know how much she loved that house growing up. Her family had some money during the depression because her father worked at a bank. Apparently, her parents were social climbers, and her mother would throw parties at the house and Rose loved being the center of attention."

"Do you know where this is? Do you think that she would take Maya there?" I asked her anxiously.

She looked up from the article and said, "I never thought of that. You might be right. She told me once that when she was very young, her dream was to grow up and marry a handsome man and live in her house. She wanted to raise her family there."

I reached out and gripped her arm. "Where is it? Where is this house?"

"Carlisle would know. Let's go." We both jumped up and raced downstairs toward Carlisle's study. Esme reached it first and handed him the article. We filled him in on our theory and asked him if he knew where it was.

He looked at the picture and said, "Yes. I know where this is. It's in Rochester, a small little town up north, along the water." He held up a passport. "Rose's passport." I let out a sigh of relief. At least she didn't flee the country.

"We have to go to Rochester!" I said quickly. "I just have a feeling about this." I knew I needed to tell Jake. "I'll run out back and let Seth know." Carlisle and Esme both nodded as I ran from the room. I made my way outside and started yelling for Seth. He came trotting up a few minutes later.

"Seth! We think we may know where Rose took Maya." I filled him in on what we found in the hat box and told him where the house was located. "Carlisle is going to take me there. Tell Jake." He nodded and I waited. I paced back and forth praying that my baby was safe. I was trusting that since Rosalie wanted to be a mother so badly, she would take good care of Maya.

I turned as I heard Seth trot off. "Seth!" _What the hell? Where was he going?_ A minute later he came jogging over in human form. Oh, the shorts. I should have realized that he used my old trick of hiding to phase to keep me from seeing him naked.

"Jake said to go, but to give me your cell phone. He is going to leave Jared here, in case for some reason, she comes back here, and the rest of us are following the trail to Rochester."

I nodded. "OK."

Seth uncharacteristically pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight. "We'll find her, Leah. I know we will."

I let myself relax against him for a few seconds. Finally, I pulled away and handed him the cell phone. He dropped a kiss into my hair before he let me go. Just then, Jared came into sight. Seth handed him the cell phone then jogged off into the woods to phase again.

"Hey, Leah," Jared said as he approached me. He looked at me for a second before he put his arms around me and gave me a quick hug. "It'll be OK. Believe me, Jake is running like a mad man out there. I wouldn't want to be the leech when he finds her."

I managed a small smiled. "Thanks, Jared."

"No problem. You better go."

I nodded and turned back to the house. I walked in to find Carlisle on the phone. I looked quickly to Esme. She told me it was Bella.

"Yes, here she is now," I heard Carlisle say. He held out the phone. "Bella wants to talk to you." _To me? Really? _I took the phone as we walked toward the garage. I was in a hurry to get going. "Hello?"

"Leah. I have been thinking about what Jake asked me earlier. If I had any idea where Rose might go. I remembered a conversation we had not too long ago. She was talking about growing up in Rochester."

I interrupted her, "That's where we are headed right now." Carlisle had opened the door of a big black SUV for me and I climbed into the back seat. He and Esme jumped into the front and we were on the move. I told Bella about finding the hat box and what was in it.

"Wow. I had no idea. She didn't say anything to any of us about the house. I wonder if she told Emmett."

"I don't know. He seemed pretty clueless when he came in from hunting to find out she was gone," I told her.

"Hmmm. Well, I was remembering this conversation. We were sitting in the living room and she was holding Reneesme in her arms and talking about her friend, Vera. She was her best friend and she had married young and had a baby boy, Henry. She told me once that she saved Emmett because he reminded her of Henry." _That must be who I saw her with in the picture. _"Anyway, the way she was looking at Nessie and talking . . . I had the feeling that she was imagining that Nessie was hers and she was somehow living her imaginary life. You know, the husband, the baby, and she was talking about how she wished she was sitting on the porch of her house in Rochester."

I closed my eyes. "I hope we are on the right track then."

"I think you are."

I opened my eyes to see the scenery fly by. I had no idea how fast Carlisle was driving and I didn't care. "Thank you, Bella. Thank you for calling and . . . for your help." _Man, that was hard to get out._

"Hey, what are step-sisters for?" I was shocked by the lightness I heard in her voice at that comment. "Yea, I know. Weird, huh?"

I had to agree with that. "Yea, definitely weird."

"Look, I know what's it like to lose a child, and . . . well, I hate to think of anyone else, even you, being in that kind of pain."

Wow. The freak had to go and get all . . . human on me. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I really am."

"I know. We appreciated the card and flowers that you and Jacob sent. I know it wasn't easy for either of you, but I did take your gesture to heart. I knew it was sincere. Who knows? Maybe we'll all grow up someday and become friends."

"Maybe," I agreed. _Me and Bella friends?_

"I'll let you go. We'll call if Edward or Alice hears anything. You'll call us if you find them?"

"Yes, I will. Thank you again."

"You're welcome. Bye."

"Bye." I closed the phone and sat there and looked out the window. If there was any good that could come from this, maybe that would be it. Right now, all I could think about was holding my baby in my arms.

We reached Rochester in what I was sure was record time. I hoped that Jake and the pack weren't too far behind. They could travel just as fast and they didn't have to stick to the road. Carlisle slowed down as he drove through the little, picturesque town. It was very quaint and old-fashioned . . . actually a nice place to raise a family. _How ironic._

Carlisle found the house and pulled up just down the street from it. Of course, we had no idea if Rosalie was really inside or not, but I just had a gut-feeling that she was here. As soon as the car stopped, I made a move to open the door and jump out, but Carlisle stopped me with, "Wait, Leah!"

"Wait? Why? If my baby is in there, I need to go, now!"

"I don't want to scare Rosalie into running. I want to wait for Emmett. He's the only one that she'll listen to right now." He took out his cell phone and I heard him say, "How far away are you? Yes, we're here. I parked down the street to keep an eye on the house while we wait for you. I didn't want to scare her into running again. Make sure you have the wolves phase. I don't think the neighbors would take kindly to being invaded by huge wolves. OK." He closed the phone and said, "They'll be here in five minutes."

I rested my forehead against the glass and prayed that five minutes would go by very quickly. I hated the thought of Maya being alone in that house with a vampire unprotected. _Please hurry, Jake!_

Jake POV:

I had never run so hard in my life! The adrenaline was definitely pumping through my body as I raced toward Rochester. Emmett and I were out front and Sam, Paul, Embry, Quil and Seth followed. Emmett suddenly slowed and I saw him put his cell phone to his ear. "Maybe a mile. Are you there? Yea, got it. See you in five." He closed the phone and turned to me.

"Carlisle is there, parked down the street. He's waiting for us. He didn't want to scare her into running. We're about a mile out of town. I'll stop right outside so you can phase. We don't want to scare the neighbors."

I nodded. _What were we, stupid?_ I heard Paul growl at him and for once I didn't stop him.

"Yea, OK, I know you're not stupid. Let's go." Emmett blurred and we followed.

_"So what's the plan when we get there, Jake?" _Sam wanted to know. _"We can't just storm the place."_

_"I know. Emmett will go in first. He's the only one she'll listen to right now. I'll go with him. The rest of you surround the house in case she tries to run again. But remember, she has my baby with her. Proceed carefully."_

I knew they all understood that, but I just needed to remind them. I was getting nervous. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep my cool once we got there. We stopped again just outside of town and I phased and pulled on my shorts. The rest of the pack did the same. I still thought we might scare the neighbors! A bunch of huge Indians walking around wearing nothing but shorts? I had to admit we still looked pretty intimidating! I wished we had the cover of darkness. It was cloudy and it threatened to rain, but that wasn't quite dark enough.

We made our way quietly through the neighborhoods until Emmett stopped. There on the corner was a huge old Victorian style house with a wrap-around porch. You could see that it had recently been refurbished. "There it is," Emmett said. "I'm going in alone."

"No, you're not," I said quickly. He started to protest but I interrupted. "I know that you are the only one she'll talk to right now, and probably listen to. But I have to be there. This is my baby. You have to realize how fucking scared I am right now."

"Yea, I get that. OK. You come in, but give me some space. Stay out of sight until I let you know it's alright. I'm not really sure how she'll react. And don't believe everything you hear me say, OK? I may have to play along at first to find out what she's thinking."

I nodded. I was really glad now that he was here. He had really thought this through. I was just going on instinct. I gave a signal to Sam and he and the pack moved quietly to surround the house. All of a sudden I felt arms come around me from behind. I turned and took Leah into my arms. "I'm so glad you're here," she murmured against my chest.

I filled her in quickly on our plan. "I'm coming, too." Yea, I saw this coming.

"Leah, listen, we need to proceed here with caution. I can't have you rushing in and trying to take Maya from her. That scares the hell out of me." I could see she had been crying again.

"I know, Jake, I'm not fucking stupid, OK? But you can't keep me from Maya," she said angrily.

"I won't, baby, I promise. Let me and Emmett do this first, OK? Stay close to the door, but don't rush in. Promise me."

She turned away from me in anger, but I could see she was at least thinking about it. She had her hands on her hips as Carlisle said, "Leah, Jacob is right. I've know Rosalie for a very long time, and even I am not sure what she might do. We have to go slow here."

Finally Leah nodded and turned back to me. "Go get her, Jake. Bring her back to me." I pulled her close and said, "I will." She let me go and gave me a little push. I moved over to Emmett and said, "Let's go."

Emmett and I walked across the street and stepped quietly onto the porch. He opened the door and moved silently inside. Carlisle, Esme and Leah moved onto the porch and hovered at the door. I watched as Emmett made a quick sweep of the rooms downstairs then he moved to the stairs. I moved behind him as we made our way up the steps. I was shaking I was so nervous. I stayed back as Emmett looked for Rosalie. _Please let her be here. _

"Hey, Rose. Why didn't you tell me you were headed here? I would have come, too," I heard Emmett say softly. I felt relief flood through me.

"How did you find me?" she asked anxiously .

"Well, when I got home and you weren't there and no one had seen you, I started thinking about where you might have gone. I know how much you love this house. You tried to keep it from me, but the bank called for you one day when you were out with Esme and I took the call. I've known for awhile about the house. I was just waiting for you to tell me. You were going to tell me, weren't you?"

"Of course I was." She sounded annoyed at him. "I wanted it to be done before I told you."

"It's really beautiful. You've done a good job. Did you do this for us? I mean, do you want to live here?"

"Maybe. Would you? Move here?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure, if that's what you want. But, I have to ask, who is this room for? Last time I looked, we didn't have a baby."

"It was for Reneesme. I thought that maybe she could come and stay with us here sometimes," she answered softly. I could hear the pain of loss in her voice.

"Oh, I see. So then . . . who is that in the crib?" Emmett asked. _Be patient, Jake. Be patient._

"Isn't she beautiful? She's so tiny and soft." I heard her move. I wondered if she was picking up the baby.

"Rose? Who is she?" Emmett asked more forcibly. I inched closer to the door. I wanted to be ready.

"I want a family, Emmett. I thought it would be enough to be just me and you, but . . . after Reneesme . . . I realized I can't live without a child. I need a child."

"But this isn't our child! We can't keep her. Her parents will want her back."

"They can have more babies. I can't," Rose said in protest.

"But this is a human baby. Isn't the smell bothering you at all? The blood, the heartbeat?"

"No. I hunted this morning and took her right after. I'm fine. I would never do that! I've never had human blood. I don't plan to start now on an innocent baby." I could hear the disgust in her voice. Thank God for that. "Besides, I got used to that with Reneesme. I can handle this."

"You still didn't answer me, Rose. Whose baby is this?"

"Stop pretending with me, Emmett. You know whose baby it is. I can sense him. He's right outside. You brought him to me. How could you do that to me?" she asked sadly.

"Because this isn't our baby. It's not right."

I couldn't hold back any longer. I slowly stepped into the room. "I want my baby back."

Her eyes turned very black as she glared at me. "Stay back, Jacob." She held Maya tighter against her and I was afraid she would crush her. I held my hands up, palms out and said, "Just be careful with her."

She sneered at me. "Oh please, like I would hurt her." She looked down at Maya and said softly, "I love her." Then she looked between us and I had a feeling she was trying to figure out how to get out of this. Her eyes glanced at the door then the window. I made a small move and her eyes darted back to me. "Stay away!" she hissed.

"Rose, honey, please," Emmett started when Rosalie whipped around to look at him. "You know I could make her mine forever," she said cryptically.

I saw the look on Emmett's face and suddenly I was very afraid. "Don't even think about it. You know it's forbidden by the Volturi. The sentence for that is death. Rose, please . . . " he was pleading with her. _What was she talking about?_ "I know you are hurting over losing Reneesme, we all are, but to do that . . ."

"We could hide from them. They wouldn't have to know," Rose said. She backed away from Emmett and held Maya close. Maya started to fuss and she put her on her shoulder and cooed to her. My hands were itching to snatch her away from this lunatic leech! I looked at Emmett and tried to convey my impatience.

Emmett moved closer and Rosalie actually showed her fangs! _Oh my God! Now I get it! She wants to bite Maya and keep her as a fucking vampire baby!_ There was no way in hell that would happen.

"Give me my baby, NOW!" I roared. She let out this long hiss as Emmett and I moved at the same time. Emmett went to grab for Rose as I grabbed for Maya. We both missed. Rosalie blurred and was out the door. "SHIT!"

"Leah!" I screamed as I ran down the stairs. Emmett had blurred and I assumed was after Rose. Leah looked at me in shock. "What? Where's Maya? Jake! Where's Maya?" She was in a panic.

I grabbed her by the shoulders. "That bitch still has her!" We both shot out the door to find Esme there. She hurriedly told us which direction they went, and that Carlisle went, too. The pack was pleading with me to follow. "Jake? What do you want us to do?" Sam asked hurriedly.

"GO!" I yelled. "Find her NOW!" They all quickly ran in the direction of the vampires and I heard them each as they phased. All except Seth. He knew Leah couldn't phase, and I knew instinctively he wanted to be with her. I looked at Leah who was now hysterical. Esme had her arm around her shoulders, trying to calm her. I knew it was killing her because she couldn't phase and run with us.

I stood in front of her and said, "Leah, look, I know this is killing you. I have to go and follow them. I won't make the same mistake twice. I will get our baby back. I swear to you."

"But . . . what should I do . . . now? How can . . . I help?" she hiccupped. She was trying hard to catch her breath.

"Seth will stay with you. He will be your eyes and ears. Esme? Can you put her in the SUV and follow Seth as best you can?"

"Yes, of course."

"Alright. Let's go," I said. Seth ran off toward the north where there was group of trees. I knew he would undress and phase then wait for Esme to catch up. I kissed Leah quickly and took off after him. I was furious with myself for letting her get away. I would not let that happen again. I just prayed that I could get to her before she sunk her fangs into my sweet baby girl.

I could hear a lot of chatter going on in the pack after I phased. _"I'm picking up so much stink all over the place. Is she running in circles or what?" _Quil.

_"Anyone got a visual?" _Embry.

_"Stick together! And if you do get a visual, follow close, but be careful. We don't want that bitch to hurt Maya!" _Sam

I ran as hard as I could to catch up to them. _"I see them! Emmett is with her!" _Quil quickly let us see. Emmett was standing close to Rose and she didn't look angry. Maybe she was finally listening to reason.

_"Surround them, but stay back." _I ordered. I ran even harder. I finally caught sight of Embry. He was pacing back and forth. I stopped next to him to take a look at the situation. Rosalie was holding Maya and Emmett had a hold of her arm and was trying to talk her into giving Maya to him. Carlisle was there, too, on the other side of Rose. I phased into human form and quickly pulled on my shorts. I said to Embry, _"_Let everyone know to circle around them, and SLOWLY close in the circle. And if she bolts alone, without the baby, take her down, but don't kill her. You can leave that to me."Embry nodded his huge head then bumped me in the side. "Thanks, Em."

I walked slowly toward them and Rose looked at me. I could see the hatred for me in her black eyes. I bounced it right back at her. Emmett increased his grip on her arm as I moved closer. "Rose, please, baby. You know this isn't right. Give her back to Jacob. We can adopt an orphan or something, but please don't do this," Emmett pleaded with her.

"Rosalie, this isn't who you are. Listen to Emmett," Carlisle added.

I stopped in front of her and said slowly and evenly, "Give me my baby. Now." Her eyes moved quickly around the clearing. She had to know that she was completely surrounded. And this time, by wolves who were just as fast as she was.

Her eyes turned to slits as she tried to back away from me. She made no move to hand Maya to me. If I was going to get Maya back, I was going to have to take her. I took another step closer and she let out another horrible hiss. Maya started to cry and I couldn't hold back any longer. I was within reach. I glanced at Emmett to make sure he still had a grip on her arm. I prayed that he wouldn't let go.

Just then, out of nowhere, Alice, Jasper, Edward and Bella entered the clearing. I have no idea how they found us, but I decided quickly to use the distraction to get Maya. What happened next is all kind of a blur. I remember making a grab for Maya. As I took Maya into my arms I vaguely remember seeing Rose's fangs come at me and I felt their sharpness on my arm . . . a searing pain shot through my body and I was falling and afraid for Maya. . . . then there was nothing . . . nothing but darkness.

Leah POV:

Esme was driving as fast as she could to keep up to Seth. He was galloping in the woods along the highway, just close enough that I could watch him. We left the highway and we were now flying down a country road. I kept my eyes glued to Seth then suddenly he disappeared! "I lost him! Slow down!" I shouted.

Esme immediately lifted her foot off of the gas and we slowed down. She pulled the SUV over and parked on the side of the road. I waited for a few seconds wondering what to do when I caught site of Seth, in human form running toward us. I pushed open the door and jumped out. "They found her!" he shouted. I took off running toward him and followed him into the woods. I ran as fast as I could, being careful not to run by him. I had no idea where we were going, so it was best to follow Seth. Esme was right with us.

Seth slowed as we approached. Embry and Quil were there, and I noticed the rest of the pack circled around the clearing. Just then, a blur of bodies ran into the clearing at the other side and stopped. It was Edward and Bella with Jasper and Alice. _Wow. How had they gotten here so quickly?_ I didn't care. The more help the better. She was now surrounded by six werewolves, seven vampires, and two very pissed-off parents. Rose had to realize she was out numbered and give up. _She had to . . . didn't she?_

Suddenly, Jake made a move to take Maya and Rosalie let out this horrible hiss. I moved to run to Jake, and Seth held me back. As I struggled against him, I felt like I was watching everything happen in slow motion. I watched in horror as I saw Jake grab Maya and then start to fall! Carlisle reacted quickly and took Maya from Jake as Jake fell to the ground. I saw him writhing in pain, and wondered why. He didn't fall hard . . . then I saw the blood on his arm. _Oh my God! She bit him!_ I remembered then that vampire venom is poisonous to us!

I broke Seth's hold and rushed to Jake's side. "He's been bitten! Oh my God! Help! What do we do?" As Seth was rushing to Carlisle to take a crying Maya, I looked up to see Bella dive toward Jake. She grabbed his arm and sunk her teeth into it! "What the hell are you doing! Get away from him you bitch!" I screamed at her, trying my best to pull her off of him.

"No, Leah! She's trying to suck the venom out! Let her go!" Alice pulled at me and I finally backed off. "Carlisle? Can she stop in time?"

Seth now had Maya and was trying to sooth her as Carlisle crouched beside Jake and Bella. Alice still had her arm around me as I watched in horror as Bella drank Jake's blood.

Carlisle motioned for Jasper and Edward to come over and he instructed them to stand on either side of Bella to help pull her off. "NOW! Pull her back!" Carlisle shouted. Both of them pulled hard and finally jerked her away from Jake. Edward stood behind Bella and kept his arms around her as Jasper stayed close.

Bella's eyes looked crazed as she gazed down at Jake with his blood dripping from her mouth and suddenly I couldn't swallow the vomit that had been threatening to erupt. I leaned forward and let it out, along with the sobs that wracked my body. I could feel Alice's hand running along my back trying to soothe me. After my stomach was empty, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand then I left her and threw myself down next to Jake's body.

He looked so pale and I quickly looked to Carlisle. He had barked at Esme to get his doctor's bag from the car and he was now leaning down with his ear to Jake's chest. "He's not breathing, and I can't hear a heartbeat." He looked at me. "Leah, plug his nose and put your mouth tightly over his and blow air into his lungs. One blow, got it?" I nodded and did just what he told me to do. Jake's lips were already colder than normal as I touched mine to his. I blew hard and then watched as Carlisle pushed in rhythm on Jake's chest. _Please God. Don't let him die. I need him too much. We all need him!_

"Again, Leah!" Carlisle called out, and I again put my lips over Jake's and blew hard. Then Carlisle again pressed his hands on Jake's chest. Esme was back and had the doctor bag. She had pulled the stethoscope out and handed it to Carlisle. He quickly listened to Jake's heart. "Leah! One more time," he ordered.

I blew hard into Jake's mouth, willing him to open his eyes and look at me. I pulled back and as Carlisle pushed on his chest I said to Jake, "You come back to me, Jacob Black. I need you! Maya needs you!"

Carlisle again listened to his heart and then said, "I have a heartbeat. It's faint, but it's there." There was a collective sigh all around.

I leaned down next to Jake's face. "Jake? Can you hear me? Baby, open your eyes!" I had my hands on his face. "Please, Jake, open your eyes." A tear slipped from my eye and hit Jake's cheek. I saw his eyelids flutter and then slowly, they opened. "Oh thank God! Jake, you're back," I rested my forehead on his.

I felt Carlisle touch me on the arm. "Leah, I need to examine him, and we need to treat this bite."

I nodded and quickly moved back so he could reach Jake. Esme had pulled out some antiseptic and was cleaning Jake's bite. I saw that she also had some gauze to wrap it when she was done.

"Jacob? Can you hear me?" Carlisle asked softly. "Just nod, don't talk." I stared at Jake and willed his head to move. He opened his eyes again and focused them on Carlisle then gave a slight nod. Seth was standing beside me, still holding the baby and I looked over at him. His eyes were wet with his unshed tears. I knew that Jake was a brother to him. He was just as scared as I was. I reached out to him and said quietly, "Let me hold her." Maya reeked of vampire stink as I held her close to my face. "Oh, baby girl, I missed you so much. I love you," I whispered.

"Alice," Carlisle called. "Get the keys from Esme and drive the car as close as you can get it. We need to get Jake home as soon as we can." Esme held out the keys to Alice. She took them and disappeared into the woods.

"Will he be alright?" Seth asked.

Carlisle glanced up from wrapping Jake's wound. "I believe so. His body is already trying to heal him. But I want to keep an eye on him. He lost quite a bit of blood."

I looked around. I had been so focused on Jake that I hadn't noticed who all was standing around. Our pack members had phased back to human form and were circling around. The Cullens were all looking on, even . . . _wait, where is she?_ "Seth? Where are Rosalie and Emmett?"

His head snapped up as he looked around. "I don't know."

Alice blurred back into the clearing. "I parked the car just over there," she said pointing off to the west.

"Alright. Can I get some help here? Let's pick him and move him to the car." All of the pack pushed forward and gently picked Jake up and carried him toward the car.

"Carlisle? She's gone. Emmett and Rosalie . . . they're gone," I told him.

He looked around and then his face fell. I knew he was so shocked by Rose's behavior, and now I realized, very hurt by it. "I suppose Emmett felt it was best to get her away from the baby so she wouldn't be tempted to take her and run again."

I nodded. I wanted her far away from my baby, but I also wanted her to pay for what she did. "I know I shouldn't bring it up, but . . . she did break the treaty by biting Jake. He's the Alpha of the pack. You can't just ignore that."

He looked at me and said, "Yes, I know. But let's take care of Jake now and talk later?" I nodded in agreement and he followed the pack to the waiting car.

I knew I wanted to ride with Jake, but there was something I had to do first. I quickly moved over to Edward and Bella. "Bella?" She turned to look at me and I could see she had cleaned herself up, but I wondered how long it would be before I got the image of her with Jake's blood on her mouth out of my head. "Thank you," I said softly. "For saving Jake's life. I . . "

"I'm just glad they pulled me when they did. I went too far . . . I almost killed him. I'm so sorry," she said quickly.

"Yes, but if you hadn't acted so fast, he might have died anyway."

She tried to smile but it was pretty weak. "I just hope he'll be alright."

"I have to go. I want to ride with him."

"Take care of him and this beautiful little girl," Bella said as she turned her gaze to Maya. I could see in her eyes how much she missed Reneesme, which kind of surprised me in a way. She hadn't seemed that close to her, but I guess she was her mother. She had to feel something for her. At least, I hoped she did.

"She did . . . and she does miss her. We both do. But we'll be alright," Edward said softly as he put his arm around Bella's shoulder.

I nodded then hurried to the car. I always forget how Edward can invade your head like that. It's downright rude. But I found myself actually feeling better for them that were on the mend. I guess no one deserves to spend eternity hating the one they bound to. Even Bella.

This SUV was huge, but I was still wondering how they would fit Jake into it lying down. Carlisle opened the back hatch and he put down half of the back seat. The guys placed Jake in on his back to lay down and he just fit.

Carlisle turned to me. "I would feel better having him in the hospital, but I know how difficult that might be given the bite on his arm. So, could I take you to my house? I have the supplies there from when Bella was . . ."

"No. We need to go home. To LaPush. I know that Jake would be furious if we went anywhere else."

"Alright. I'll send Alice and Jasper to the house to get what we need, and bring them to your house. Sam? Is it alright if they come onto the reservation to bring us what we need?"

"Yes. But I ask that they leave after. Someone needs to find out what happened to the one that bit Jake. And now." I could see by Sam's face he was furious right now and doing everything he could to stay civil. I reached out and put my hand on his arm. I wanted him to know he had my support.

Carlisle nodded and closed the back of the car. "I understand."

Sam looked down at me as Carlisle walked away to take out his phone and make the call. "Are you alright? Is Maya OK?"

I smiled. "I'm an emotional wreck, but physically I'm fine. And I think Maya will be, too."

He smiled back and then bent down and put a kiss on Maya's head. He straightened up to say, "We'll head back and meet you at your house, OK?" I just nodded. He took my hand and gave it a squeeze then he let it go to tell the pack, "Let's move out!"

They all looked at me and Embry and Quil waved then they took off to phase and run home. Seth stepped over to kiss Maya then he looked at me. He was trying to say something, but he was having a hard time getting the words out. I knew how emotional all this had made him. He lived with us now and we were together every day. We all had formed this bond that was very unique. Finally I reached up and laid my palm against his cheek. "It's OK, Seth. Me, too."

He nodded and gave me a small smile. Then he put his arms around me and held us close for just a few seconds before he let go and turned to catch up to the others.

I opened the back door to sit in the seat beside Jake's head. I buckled in and held Maya close as Carlisle crawled into the front passenger seat. Esme was the driver. She started the car and said, "I'm sorry but it may be a little bumpy until we get back onto the road." She slowly took off and drove us down the path that Alice had made earlier.

"Bella and Edward will be bringing the supplies I need and Alice and Jasper will go out and try to find Rose and Emmet. Alice is trying to see them now," Carlisle informed me.

"Thank you," I said quietly. He smiled and nodded then turned back to the front.

I held Maya closer and looked over at Jake. He had his eyes closed and he was so pale. I reached out and ran my hand down his cheek. He opened his eyes and turned his head toward me. "Hey," I said with a smile.

His gaze shifted to Maya. "Is she," he tried to croak out, "OK?"

"Yes, she's fine. Probably soaking wet, hungry and in great need of a bath, but she's OK."

"Good." He closed his eyes again. I relaxed into the seat and loosened my hold a little on the baby. I realized how tightly I was holding her. I had a feeling I would never let her out of my sight again. She started to fuss and I realized she must be very hungry. I pulled up my t-shirt and let her latch on. She drank hungrily. I looked over to see Jake watching. I smiled at him. I couldn't wait to get them both home. I decided it would be a long time before we ever left the reservation again.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

Jake POV:

When I first opened my eyes, all I could think was, _I feel like shit_. I was so weak, I couldn't move. I could barely breath. I wasn't sure at first what happened, but then some of it came back to me. _I remembered grabbing for Maya then seeing Rosalie's fangs . . . oh God, she bit me_. _That bitch_! _Didn't she know their venom was poisonous to us? Maybe she did and that's what she intended. I knew she hated me and she wanted Maya bad, but to bite me? Somehow, that surprised me, even though it shouldn't have. She was desperate and she did what she had to do, I guess._

Leah was there and there were tears streaming down her face from her red, puffy eyes. "Oh thank God! Jake, you're back!" she cried as she rested her forehead against mine. _Back? Where did I go? _She moved away and Carlisle opened each of my eyes and then listened to my heart with his stethoscope. Esme was doing something to my arm . . . _oh yea, the bite._

Next thing I knew, all of the pack came around and lifted me to carry me somewhere. It reminded me of when I was hurt in that fight with the newborns . . . except I didn't feel the pain from the broken bones. It was more of an excruciating pain burning my left arm. They put me into the big SUV that Leah had come in with the Esme. _Where were they taking me?_ I wondered. I laid there for awhile and waited. Then I heard the car door open and someone get in. I forced myself to turn my head and open my eyes to look at Leah. She smiled her beautiful smile and said, "Hey." She was holding Maya and I couldn't tell if she was hurt or not. I tried to talk, but I was still so weak. _Damnit! I hate feeling weak!_ I finally managed to get out, "Is she . . . OK?"

Leah assured me she was, but I wouldn't believe it fully until I could hold her for myself. I let my eyes close again. Then I heard Leah talking softly to Maya about being hungry. I opened my eyes again to see Leah feeding the baby. It was one of my favorite things in the world to watch. Leah caught me watching and smiled at me. I wanted to tell her how much I loved them both, but before I could get the words out, I fell into the darkness again.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was in our bedroom at home. Carlisle had put a needle into my arm and there was an IV bag hanging beside the bed. I looked at him and he smiled. "How are you feeling now?"

"Like shit."

He laughed. "That doesn't really help me to know exactly what needs to be done medically."

I tried to smile. "Weak and tired. My arm still burns."

"Is the burning sensation just in your arm or do you feel it anywhere else?"

"Just the arm."

"Good. Then the venom didn't get any further." He adjusted the IV bag then he said, "You lost a lot of blood, Jacob. I am still considering giving you some, but I think your body is actually healing itself pretty quickly. I am giving you some fluids to ward off dehydration and that will help your body to heal without working quite so hard. I've also put an antibiotic with this IV just to ward off any infection."

I just nodded. I really didn't care what he did. He fixed me up before . . . I trusted him to do it again. "Where's Leah?" I asked him.

"She and Mom are giving Maya a bath. She said she would be back as soon as she was done," I heard from behind Carlisle. Seth stepped forward and smiled at me.

I smiled weakly. Good. I wanted all the vampire stink off of my daughter. That reminded me, "What happened to her? Rose?"

Carlisle stopped what he was doing and looked at me. "She and Emmett slipped away while I was working on you. I suppose he wanted to get her away so she wouldn't be tempted to take Maya again. I'm not sure where they are . . . Alice and Jasper went after them." He put his stethoscope around his neck then said, "I feel I need to apologize for Rosalie's behavior. I never thought she was capable of doing something like this." I could see his pain in his eyes. He really cared deeply for his family.

"She broke the treaty." I didn't want to go there, but I had to. Now that I was the Alpha, I was responsible for protecting my family, my pack and my people.

"I understand. Let's get you healed then once we find her, we can decide what to do. Is that alright?"

I nodded. I certainly was in no shape right now to do anything about it. I also wanted to talk to Sam to see how the rest of the pack was feeling. I looked over at Seth and could tell he didn't really want to deal with any of it. _Leech lover._ I couldn't blame him though. Carlisle had been very good to Leah and me.

Just then, Leah walked in holding Maya. "Hey, look Maya . . . Daddy's awake," she said with a smile that lit up her whole face. She leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. "How are you?"

"Weak. I think Maya could beat me up." Leah laughed at that. Then she turned to Carlisle and asked, "How is he really?"

He smiled at her. "I think he'll be just fine. I'm going to leave this run. It should take a couple of hours to empty. I want to go and find out if Alice and Jasper have found them yet. I'll be back later to re-evaluate your condition and hopefully remove all of this. In the meantime, rest, maybe have something to eat, OK?"

I nodded and said, "Thank you." As usual for Carlisle, he just smiled and nodded. He left the room and Leah sat on the bed next to me. I looked at Maya and smiled. After a bath, her hair was kind of wild and Leah would try and try to smooth it down, but it always managed to stand straight up. "She OK?" I asked.

"She is just fine. She's had a bath and after I feed her, I'll put her down so she can sleep. I knew you would want to see her." I moved my arm out so Leah could lay Maya there. Just to feel her next to me and know she was alright, made me feel so much better.

"I'll go fix you a sandwich, OK?" Seth asked. I smiled and nodded and he ran out the door and down the stairs.

I looked up at Leah. "How are you?" I asked.

"I'm fine. I have you and Maya back home where you belong. I'm good," she said as she leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Tell me what happened." I saw her face change from happy to . . . I'm not sure what. "Leah? I need to know. I remember grabbing Maya from Rosalie and then . . . she bit me, and I was falling . . . and that's all I remember."

She took a deep breath. "Carlisle reached out and caught Maya as you were falling. No one realized what had happened until I saw the blood on your arm." Her eyes clouded over as she talked. I knew this was upsetting her, but I had to know. "I screamed out that you had been bitten. Seth let me go so he could run and take Maya from Carlisle and before I could reach you . . . " she stopped and took another deep breath, "Bella threw herself down next to you and sunk her teeth into your arm." _What? Bella? _"I thought she was trying to kill you and I went after her. That's when Alice grabbed me and held me tight to tell me that Bella was sucking the venom from the wound. She saved your life, Jake."

_Wow. I didn't see that coming. _"She sucked the venom from me?"

Leah nodded. "Carlisle told Edward and Jasper to pull her off and they did just in time." I could see tears forming in her eyes. Whatever she was going to say next was very hard for her. I reached out and took her hand. "You weren't breathing, Jake, and you had no heartbeat." I closed my eyes. _Shit. No wonder this was hard for her._

"Go on," I encouraged gently as she sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"Alice had let me go and I was on my knees beside you. Carlisle told me to breath into your mouth while he pumped your chest. We gave you CPR and it took quite awhile, but . . . you finally came back to us." She smiled through her tears at me.

I squeezed her hand and said, "I'm sorry. I hate that you had to go through that."

"It's not your fault!" she spat out. "It's that bitch, Rosalie. She stole my baby and almost killed you. I hope I never see her again because I will kill her, Jake." I could see the hatred in her eyes. I remembered the night she almost killed Bella, and that was nothing compared to what I was seeing now.

"Hey, Leah, look at me." She wiped her eyes and looked into mine. "I'm here, Maya's here and we're both going to be fine. Let's just focus on that, OK?"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." She looked over at Maya and ran her finger gently over her cheek.

"So, it sounds to me like you helped to save my life. I guess I owe you, huh?"

She smiled at that. "Yea, I guess you do."

"Well then, I'll have to think of some way to repay you." I grinned and I could see by her smile that she knew how I would repay her.

She leaned forward and whispered, "I'll look forward to it." Then she kissed me on the lips and I knew I would, too.

"Leah! Sam's back!" Seth hollered up the stairs. Leah sat back, rolled her eyes and said, "Why is it so hard for him to actually walk up the stairs to deliver a message?" I just laughed as she got up and walked to the door. "I'm coming! You don't have to scream all over the house!" she hollered back disgustedly.

I looked down at Maya and said, "Aren't they cute? Maybe someday you'll have a little brother to boss around." She just stared at me as I ran my hand over her wild hair.

"Hey, bro. You feeling better?" Sam asked as he walked into the room. He smiled as he looked at Maya.

"Not much. I still feel so weak. I fucking hate that."

"Yea, I know you do. This is the second time I've had to carry your ass home. I gotta tell you, I don't enjoy it. Make sure I don't have to do it again, will ya?" Sam said with a grin.

"Yea, like I do it on purpose. But thanks all the same."

"Sure. I ran home to tell Em that everything was OK, and I sent the rest of the guys home. I didn't think you would want everyone hanging around. Paul went to your house to tell your dad and Rachel what happened. I look for them to be here soon."

"Shit. Why did he do that? Like they need to be all upset?"

"Yea, how awful. Your family loves you. God, how do you stand it?" I rolled my eyes at his grin. I wished I was strong enough to smack it off of his face. "So, what are we going to do, Alpha man? She broke the treaty."

I took a deep breath. "I know. We could sic Leah on her. She's all set to hunt her down and kill her." Sam grinned again. "Yea, you grin, but I'm serious! It scares the hell out of me!"

That made him laugh. Maya started fussing and I was too week to pick her up. I struggled a little then Sam said, "Here, let me." He reached down and scooped her up and held her close to his chest. "Come on, little one. What's wrong?"

"She probably hungry. Leah said she would have to feed her soon," I told him.

"OK then," Sam said to Maya. "Let's go find your mommy. I think she's the only one that can help you with that." He looked at me and said, "Be right back."

I nodded. I watched him as he left the room and realized he was going to be a good dad. He was so gentle with Maya. I wondered if sometimes when he looked at her if he wished that she was his baby. _Water under the bridge, man. Let it go._

I laid my head back and tried to relax. I had no idea what to do about Rosalie. I thought back to all the time I had spent with the Cullens when Bella was pregnant. They functioned as a family. A weird family, but a family none the less. I knew how Carlisle felt about all of his "adopted" kids. I knew this had to be killing him. And even though I hated what she did to Maya and to me, I knew I couldn't be the one to kill her. I was angry, and full of hate for her, but . . . I just couldn't do that to Carlisle. Or to Emmett. He had always treated me right. He helped me find my daughter and was trying to get Rose to give her back. I felt for him right now.

"Jake? Can we come in? We promise not to stay long." I looked over and was shocked to see Bella and Edward standing in the doorway.

I composed myself enough to say, "Um, yea, sure, sure."

They walked in and stopped beside the bed. Bella smiled and asked, "How are you?" She actually looked worried, I think. This new Bella was a lot harder for me to read.

"Weak and tired, but OK." She nodded and glanced at Edward then back at me. She seemed nervous. Maybe she was afraid I would be mad at her for what she did. I looked back at Edward and he gave me a slight nod. OK, I was on the right track. "Bella? Thank you, for what you did for me. Leah told me."

I could see her relax just a little. "I just did it without thinking." She closed her eyes for a moment then said, "I almost killed you." She opened her eyes to gaze into mine. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to."

"I know that. You saved my life. I owe you."

She shook her head. "No, you don't, believe me. You pulled me out of the freezing water after my pathetic attempt at cliff-diving. I'd say we're even."

I smiled at that. "OK. We're even." She smiled back.

Edward stepped forward and said, "Jacob? I hate to ask, but . . . what about Rose? What are you planning to do? We know that she broke the treaty and . . ."

"I don't know yet," I answered. "Sam and I had just started talking then Maya fussed because she was hungry and he took her to find Leah. Have you found her? Rose?"

Edward nodded. He hesitated. He wasn't sure if he wanted to share the information he had. _It's OK. Just tell me. _Finally he said, "Yes. She is at home right now. Emmett is packing their things and he is planning on taking her away."

I sighed. "I see."

"Look, Jacob, I sat with her and I could hear everything that was going on inside her head. She's a mess right now. She is devastated by what she did. Taking your child was bad enough, but to bite you . . . that's killing her. You have to understand something about Rose. She's never had human blood before."

I looked up startled at that bit of information. "She's a vampire and you're trying to tell me she's never had human blood?"

"Carlisle is the one who changed her, and he put her on our 'vegetarian' diet from the beginning. She has always prided herself on the fact that she has never tasted a human. Until now."

"But she showed her fangs at the house when she was holding Maya! She told Emmett that she could keep her forever. She was going to change her, wasn't she? Wasn't that her plan?"

"I don't think she had any kind of plan, really. Alice would have seen it. She went to town this morning just to pick up her mail in the post office box she has there. She gets her hometown newspaper sent to her, and it usually comes in on Saturday. She saw Sue and the baby and, well, something inside her snapped and before she realized what she was doing, she ran and grabbed your baby. You have to understand, her grief has been overwhelming since . . . well, it has been rough for all of us. I really should have seen it, but I have been so focused on myself . . ." his voice faded as he bent his head down. I noticed that Bella put her arm around him and held him close. So, they were closer again. That was good.

He finally looked up and said, "I really don't believe that she would have turned Maya. We all know that it is forbidden. The Volturi outlawed it and it is punishable by death. I think she had it in her mind that she could somehow raise a human child." _A human child. MY human child. _

"I want you to know, Jacob, that she is humiliated by her behavior. I didn't tell Emmett, but . . . " he looked straight at me and said, "She wants you all to kill her. She doesn't know how she can go on knowing what she has done. She is miserable as a vampire and she wants to die."

"What?" Bella asked him. "Are you serious?" Edward nodded. "No! I won't allow it! We can help her. We are her family. We can get her through this. She doesn't have to die!"

"Bella, you can't say anything. Emmett doesn't know that and it would kill him to hear it," Edward told her.

"Look, you guys. I don't want to kill her, OK? I mean, a part of me does. She took my baby and tried to kill me. Believe me, I'm pissed off enough to do it. It's just . . . I can't do that to Carlisle or to Emmett. But I need to talk to Sam before any final decision is made, alright?"

"Yes, I understand," Edward said. "Thank you."

"I'm pretty tired, and I'm not up to making any decisions right now."

Bella reached out and took my hand into her ice cold one. "I'm sorry, Jake. We'll go. Um, take care of yourself, OK?"

"I'll try. Don't let Rose leave just yet." I requested. She looked hard into my eyes and I tried to assure her that I would take care of this.

"Alright," Edward answered for her. _Thanks._ He nodded.

They turned and left the room. I relaxed against the pillows and thought how exhausted I was. Having that conversation had taken a toll on me. I closed my eyes and let sleep take me for awhile.

I opened my eyes and jumped out of surprise to find Rachel sitting in a chair beside the bed staring at me. "Geez, Rach. You scared the shit out of me!"

She laughed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to."

"How long have you been sitting there?"

"Half-hour or so. Seth sent me up with this sandwich for you. Are you hungry?" She pointed at a plate sitting on the nightstand with a sandwich sitting on it.

"Not really. But I don't want to hurt Seth's feelings, so hand it over." She picked up the plate and set it on my lap with a smile. I picked up the sandwich and took a bite.

"So? Are you really going to be OK?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

"Yes, Rach. I actually am feeling a little stronger." I put the sandwich down and scooted up to sit up straighter.

"Good," she said. Then she smacked me on the leg.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"For scaring me to death, that's what! Don't ever do that to me again!" she shouted.

I laughed at her. "Yea, like I did it on purpose. I got up and thought, 'What could I do to scare Rachel today? I know! I'll get a vampire to bite me!' "

"You think you're so funny," she grumbled.

"Oh come on. I'm glad you're here and I'm glad you worry about me."

She smiled at that. "Yea,right. Eat your sandwich."

I took another bite then asked with my mouth full, "Where's Dad? Is he here?"

"Yes. He's downstairs. Paul offered to carry him up to see you, but he said it was enough for him to know you were here and OK."

"Prideful old man," I said softly.

She smiled. "I know. Hey, Leah just showed me what Becca sent for Maya."

"Yea? Pretty, huh?" Becca sent Maya a dress that she made for her. Becca had never been known for her domestic skills. "It took us awhile to figure out what it was."

"Oh my God, I know! I had to ask Leah what it was. It's the most hideous thing I've ever seen! You're not really going to make Maya wear it, are you?"

"We already put it on her and took a picture of her wearing it. Leah is going to send it to her." Rachel laughed at that. "Come on, Rach. At least she tried," I said.

"I know. I'm just so surprised. She was never one to help with domestic chores." Then she added with a frown, "I would know because I did all of them. She got out of here as fast as she could," Rachel said somewhat surly.

"Yea, well, so did you," I reminded her.

"Because she convinced me I should! She kept telling me if I stayed here, this place would suck the soul out of me. I guess I just wanted a break from all the cooking, and the cleaning, and making sure Dad took his meds, and . . . I don't know. I went off to college to see what I could make of myself. And I know it was wrong to stay away and not come home during the summers. I missed you and Dad so much, but I was afraid if I came home for a visit, I would never go back and finish my degree." She smiled and added, "And I guess I was right. I came home after graduation and I'm still here!"

I smiled and took her hand. "Are you sorry? I mean, here you are, right back into the cooking and the cleaning and . . "

"No, not at all. I love being here with you and Dad. And even though it drives you crazy, I love Paul with all my heart. I even have to admit that I like teaching at the rez school. I like being with the kids, and it makes me feel like I'm using my education for something. Becca was wrong. This place hasn't sucked my soul from me - it's given it back to me."

I had to give her a smile. "Well, I know Dad is thrilled to have you back, and I guess, I'm OK with it, too." She laughed and smacked me on the leg again.

"Come on, eat your sandwich or Seth will cry," she said as she stood up to go. "I'm going to go and tell Dad that you are awake and feeling ornery. That will make him happy."

"Thanks for coming over." She bent down and hugged me. "Love ya, sis."

"I love you, too, Jakey. See you soon." I took a bite of my sandwich as I watched her walk out of the room. I realized I was a lucky guy to have so many people around me that cared about me. I decided to enjoy my sandwich and holler at Seth to make another one. Suddenly, I was hungry.

Later that night, Carlisle came by again. He checked me over and decided that he could take the IV's out. That was a relief! I hated needles. Then he unwrapped the wound on my arm to take a look at it. He decided to clean it again and then rewrap it. As he dug in his bag for the supplies he needed, I couldn't help but stare at the crescent mark on my arm. It reminded me of the one just like it on Bella's arm. Only I'm sure we didn't feel the same way about them. Mine would be a constant reminder of almost dying at the hands of a mortal enemy. She never felt that way about them. I guess hers was a mark of her destiny or something.

Carlisle cleaned it and told me it was actually healing nicely. He wrapped it again and told me not to get it wet. Then he gave me strict orders to stay in bed for one more day. "I mean that. Your body needs rest to heal."

"Yes, sir," I said sullenly.

He smiled. "You're lucky, Jacob. This could have been fatal. I'm very glad it wasn't."

""Thanks. Me, too."

"Well, remember you can call me if you need me. You should be fine in another day or so. We'll talk soon." And with that, he picked up his things and moved to the door to leave.

I hadn't noticed Leah come in, but she was standing by the door and she thanked Carlisle again for what he had done for me. Then he was gone. She made her way over to me. "So, I'm exhausted. How about you?"

I smiled at her. "Why don't you come to bed then. I have really missed you."

"I've missed you, too." She shed her clothes and pulled a nightshirt on then turned off the light. She walked around to her side of the bed and crawled in beside me. I put my arm up and she scooted right up beside me and laid her head on my shoulder so I could hold her. "I'm glad that we have so many people that care about us, but I thought they would never leave!" I laughed at that. "Mom, Charlie, Sam, your dad, Rach, Paul, Bella, Edward, Carlisle, Quil and Embry . . ."

"Wait. Quil and Embry? I don't remember them being here."

"They helped put you to bed. You were pretty out of it then, I guess. They wanted to stay, but Sam made them go home. He had to order them. They were pretty pissed. I assume they will be here first thing in the morning." I smiled at that. I had kind of wondered where they were. We were pretty tight. "This is all I really wanted to do since we got home."

"Mmmm, I do like this," I said sleepily.

"Everything could have gone so wrong today. I kept thinking how much I would miss your arms around me and . . . "

"Hey, don't do that," I told her sternly. "I'm here and Maya's here and we are both fine. Let's don't dwell on what could have happened, OK? Let's just be happy."

"Yes, sir, boss man."

"That's better."

"I love you, Jake."

"I love you, too, honey."

Leah sat up to look at me then she leaned in and kissed me. I responded and both of us slowly enjoyed the sensation of our lips and tongues touching. And then the baby monitor came alive with the sound of Maya fussing and starting to cry. Leah pulled away and smiled. "We are going to have to teach her better timing." I smiled at her then she gave me another quick kiss before climbing out of bed. "I'll be back."

"I'll be here," I told her.

She stopped at the door and turned back to look at me. "You better be. Always."

"I will. I promise." And then she left to feed our daughter. As I laid there waiting for her to come back, I thought about the promise I just made her and hoped that I could always keep it.

Leah POV:

I rocked in the chair as Maya fed greedily and looked down at her. She was such a miracle! The love I felt for her was overwhelming sometimes. And then that thought of how I almost lost her crept into my head. I shut my eyes and forced that from my mind. She was here with me now and so was Jake and I was going to follow his advice, for once, and just be happy.

Even though I tried, I couldn't help thinking about Rosalie. Earlier in the day, I wanted to hunt her down and kill her for what she did. But then, I talked to Edward and he told me how he had been with her and had seen what was in her head. How she wanted to die now for what she did to Jake. I had no idea that she had never had human blood! How strange for a vampire. I know that grief is a terrible thing and it can make you a different person. It had done that to me, hadn't it? I grieved when I lost Sam and then again when Dad died. And turning into a werewolf had taken my dream of going away to college and having a normal life, or so I thought. And I hurt people with my shitty attitude.

But I never went as far as Rosalie. How could she grieve so much over a child that wasn't hers? But maybe it wasn't just the loss of Reneesme that she was feeling. Edward said that she had never really adjusted to the life she had been given. The second life of being a vampire. Maybe she was grieving for the life she had always wanted - the one she could never have now. The house was beautiful, but it was decorated in an old-fashioned style, like it might have been in Rosalie's human lifetime. She wanted that house and a husband and children . . . and I couldn't blame her for that. It's what I had and what I loved.

But she tried to kill my husband! I knew it was out of sheer desperation. Maybe she didn't even realize what she was doing, but she bit him all the same, and I could have lost him . . . forever. That could not easily be forgiven.

Yet, I knew I didn't want her to die. That would do nothing but hurt her family and Emmett. It would end her suffering, but bring more to them. Maybe if Emmett took her away, that would be enough. I decided to talk to Jake about it in the morning and see how he felt about it. As the Alpha, it was ultimately his decision and we would all have to live with it no matter what it was. I knew that it would be a heavy burden on him. I hoped I could help him carry it.

I put Maya on my shoulder and got her to burp then I kissed her and laid her back down in her crib. I covered her up and gently smoothed her hair down. Of course it stood right back up. I smiled at that. Her hair had such a rebellious nature to it. I hoped it was only her hair. God help us if she turned out to be like me!

I walked out of her room and back to Jake. I slipped into bed beside him and saw that he was already sleeping. I curled next to him and thanked God that this day had turned out the way it did instead of the disaster it could have been. I drifted off to sleep a very happy woman.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

Leah POV:

The next couple of days went by and Jake regained his strength. Much too slowly for him, but he was finally getting back to normal. He spent a lot of time holding Maya and he even volunteered for diaper duty! I was definitely taking advantage of that.

I had to force Seth back to school. I even made Rachel come and pick him up on that first day just to make sure he went. He had a hard time leaving Jake and Maya. It was like he was afraid they would disappear or something if he wasn't around. I felt for him because I had the same feeling. But I knew the best thing would be for all of us to get back into our normal routine as quickly as possible. He finally relented and went, and after that first day when he came home and they were still here, he went on his own.

Paul brought Billy over the first day Jake was out of bed and downstairs. He had tears in his eyes when he first saw Jake and again when he held Maya. Then he just had to ask Jake what he was going to do about the "bitch that bit him." I saw Jake's face fall. I knew he didn't want to tell his dad that he had decided to let her live.

We had talked that first morning about it. We shared with each other what Edward had said, and what we thought of it. He asked me my opinion and I told him. Then he shared with me how he felt. I wasn't surprised at all when I found we both felt the same. He had called Sam over and we talked it over with him and we all agreed that if she moved away and never came back, we could live with that. I knew that Seth would miss Emmett terribly, but he would get over it. Carlisle was coming over later tonight to check Jake over and to talk about Rosalie.

Jake finally cleared his throat and said to Billy, "Dad, you may not like it, but I've decided to let her live. Killing her would only bring pain to her family and to Emmett and I owe Carlisle my life and Maya's. I can't do that to him. So, we are going to tell him that she must move away from here and never come back. She acted alone, so she alone should be punished. Not her family."

Billy sat there quietly for a few minutes then he said evenly, "You are the Alpha, son, and your decision must stand."

"Really? That's all you have to say?" Jake asked.

Billy sighed. "The treaty states that if a cold one bites a human, the punishment is death. It doesn't leave room for other circumstances."

"Well then, maybe the treaty needs to be redrawn," Jake suggested. "I won't cause her family pain for her bad decision. She didn't kill me. I'm still here, and since I am, that is the decision I am going with."

"Like I said, you are the Alpha. You decision must stand."

I looked at Jake and could see his frustration. He loved and respected his dad very much, but he hated to butt heads with him. So, to break the tension I said, "How about some pie? My mom made a ton of food and I know she brought a blueberry pie especially for you, Billy. Would you like some?"

He smiled and replied, "You know I would."

"Good. Let's all go to the kitchen then," I suggested. We sat around the table and ate pie and then Seth came bounding in from school. I cut him a piece of pie and we all listened as he told us of his latest conquest at school. I didn't catch her name. The girls he went out with didn't last long enough for me to remember a name.

"I'm taking her out tomorrow night," Seth finished.

"Where you taking her?" I asked.

"There's a lame dance at school. I told her we could get something to eat first then go to the dance."

"You got money for that?" Jake asked him.

"A little. I'm still looking for a part-time job to help keep gas in my car. Mom is giving me an allowance right now, but I don't want to keep taking her money."

"I heard that Chuck at the grocery store might need someone. Why don't you go and see him tomorrow after school?" Billy suggested to Seth then he turned and winked at me. Good old Billy. He had connections everywhere. I knew that meant that he would call Chuck and ask him to hire Seth.

"Really? Yea, OK. I will." Seth gave Billy a smile as he shoved the last of his pie into his mouth. I looked at Billy and mouthed "Thank you," over Seth's head. He just smiled and nodded.

"I gotta go. I'm on patrol then I got homework. I may need some help tonight with my Trig," Seth said as he got up and put his plate in the sink.

"Sure. See ya later. Be careful out there," I said.

"Always am. See ya!" He left the kitchen and I cleaned up the rest of the dishes. Billy and Jake moved into the living room, Jake, of course, carrying Maya with him. He was never away from her. I loaded the dishes into the dishwasher then heard the dryer buzz. I sighed and walked to the laundry room. I couldn't figure out how one little baby generated so much laundry! I piled the clothes into the basket and carried it out to the living room to sit and fold it.

Rachel had just come in and was holding Maya. "Hello, sweetie pie. Your Auntie Rachel missed you so much." She looked up at me as I walked in. "Hey, Leah."

"Hey, Rach."

"Hey, honey, put that basket over here. I'll fold it," Jake said to me. I smiled and put it down then kissed him. He hated feeling so useless, so I didn't mind letting him do menial chores to help me out. I sat down on the couch next to Rachel. "How was school?"

"Great. Except for having to break up a fight at recess," she answered.

"Boys will be boys," I said.

"No, it was girls! And they fight mean. Two fifth grade girls were on the ground rolling around pulling hair and biting! I wasn't sure I wanted to get in the middle of it. But I did and then I took them to the principal."

I wanted to laugh, but it made me think of the mean girl that bit my husband. Suddenly, it wasn't so funny. Just then, Maya started to cry. I glanced at the clock and realized it had been almost four hours since I last fed her. I reached for her and said, "Time to eat."

As Rachel handed me the baby she said, "I came to pick up Dad. You ready to go? I told Paul dinner was at six."

"Ready when you are," Billy answered.

"Alright then, let's go," she told him. She stood up and looked at Jake. "You take it easy. Don't stress yourself, OK?"

"Yes, ma'am. This folding laundry is pretty rough, but I'll get through it," Jake answered.

She rolled her eyes and then dropped a kiss on his head. "See ya later." She wheeled Billy out the door and it was just us again. I fed Maya while Jake finished folding laundry. When he was done, he moved over to sit on the couch beside me. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

"What was that for?"

"Do I have to have a reason to kiss my wife?"

I gave him a smile. "Nope. You can kiss me anytime you like."

He put his arm around me and watched me feed Maya. "You know, I love our family and friends, but I really am ready for them to leave us alone for awhile. I like this time right here when it's just us. Like when we lived in our apartment. Remember lounging around on the couch in front of the TV after dinner?"

I smiled. "Yes, I remember. I miss that, too. Things will calm down and get back to normal. And if Seth gets a job, he'll be gone more and it will be just us."

"I love the runt, don't get me wrong. I'm glad he's here. But it will be nice to have some alone time."

I put Maya up on my shoulder to burp her. Her face was right by Jake's and he smiled and ran his finger over her cheek. She let out a belch and he laughed. "That's my girl," he said.

"She gets that from you."

"Yea, right! I've heard you rip a belch or two you know," he retorted.

Just then, the phone rang. "Here, take her and I'll get the phone," I told Jake. He took the baby then I got up and went to the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, Leah. It's Carlisle. Would this be a good time to come over? I would like to examine Jake and I know we have some unfinished business to take care of."

"Yes, now would be fine."

"Alright. I'll see you in a few minutes." I hung up the phone and walked back to the couch. "Carlisle is coming over in a few minutes. He wants to examine you and take care of the 'unfinished business.' "

"Yea, we need to get this over with. Should I have Sam here, too?"

"I'll call him then I'm going to run upstairs and put some real clothes on. I'll be right back." I called Sam and told him come over then I headed upstairs to change. I had been wearing nothing but sweats for the last few days. I thought maybe I should at least try to look presentable. I slipped on a pair of jean shorts and tank top then checked myself in the mirror. _Geez, my boobs were huge!_ I ripped a short sleeved blouse off of a hanger and threw it on over the tank top. I guess I would have to put up with these things while I was nursing. I hoped they would go down eventually! I was tired of looking like Dolly Parton.

I brushed my hair and gathered it into a messy bun. I should probably cut it shorter again. With Maya, she was always getting her hands in it and yanking on it. I guess I could always grow it out again someday. I ran back downstairs just as the doorbell rang. "I'll get it," I told Jake.

I opened the door and Carlisle smiled. "Hello, Leah."

"Hi. Come on in," I invited him. Then I noticed he wasn't alone. Esme was with him, along with Edward and Bella.

"I hope you don't mind. They were concerned about Jacob," Carlisle explained. _What was I going to say? One bloodsucker is fine, four is an army?_

"No, of course not." _How long could I hold my breath? And how long would it take to fumigate my house after they left?_

Jake stood up when they came in. Bella went to him and looked at Maya. She was sleeping, like she usually does after she's eaten. "She's really beautiful," Bella said softly.

"Thanks, we think so," Jake returned with a proud smile.

Esme asked, "May I have a look?" Bella stepped aside so Esme could see Maya. "Oh, look at all of that hair!"

"Yea, Leah is always trying to smooth it down, but it stands right back up." Esme turned and smiled at me.

"Well, Jacob, can I take a look at you?" Carlisle asked.

"Sure, sure." I started to step up to take the baby, but Esme said, "Could I hold her?"

Jake glanced at me for guidance. Esme had always been so nice to us . . . but she was a leech. After what happened, I was having a hard time convincing myself that there good ones among the bad. But . . . I nodded anyway. Jake handed the baby to Esme and she gave the most brilliant smile. She cooed to Maya in such a loving manner. It made me a little sad that she never got to be a real mother.

Jake walked Carlisle to the kitchen and I invited Edward and Bella to sit down. Bella sat next to Esme on the couch and Edward took the chair. An awkward silence filled the room. _Gee, what should we chat about? There was no handbook on how to entertain vampires in your home, was there? _I noticed Edward smile and then I remembered he was hearing everything I was thinking. I gave him a look and thought, _If there was a handbook for vampires, I'm sure it would say that it was rude to invade other people's heads! _

"Sorry," Edward said to me. "It's hard to avoid, but I'll try to behave."

I rolled my eyes at him and tried to hide my smile. Bella and Esme were so busy with Maya, they had no idea what was going on. Lucky for me, that's when Sam walked in. He stopped just short of the living room when he saw all of our company.

"Hey Sam," I called out.

"Hi," he said tentatively.

Edward got up and went to Sam and held out his hand. "Hello, Sam." Sam took it and gave it a quick shake. "Edward," he acknowledged. Then Edward drifted back to his chair. He seemed so out of place for some reason.

"Where's Jake?" he asked me.

"He and Carlisle are in the kitchen. Carlisle wanted to look him over and make sure he's ready to go back to all of his duties."

Sam nodded and we stood there awkwardly. "How's Em?" I asked. She was due in another month.

"Good. We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She's worried that she's gained too much weight."

"Please. She still hardly looks pregnant to me! I was huge!"

Sam laughed at that. "You were not. And you lost it pretty quickly. You look great."

I gave Sam a smile. "Thanks."

Just then, Carlisle and Jake came out of the kitchen, thank God. I wanted to get this over with. I looked at Jake. "So? Everything OK?"

"Yep."

Carlisle smiled. "He has healed just fine. I was a little concerned about the bite, but it has healed over well, and I don't see any sign of infection."

Jake put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him. My heart swelled as I realized this nightmare was almost over.

We all drifted over to the living area to join the others. Jake cleared his throat, like he does when he's nervous about saying whatever it is he has to say. "Carlisle? I've thought a lot about this, and I've talked to Sam and to Leah, and we have all agreed. I know that Rosalie broke the treaty by biting me, but I really believe that she acted alone, and that she wasn't really in her right mind at the time. But, she took my daughter, threatened to turn her, and bit me with the intent to kill me. Those are things that I just can't forgive and forget. Killing her would only cause pain to you and your family, and I believe since she acted alone, she alone should be punished. So, I am asking that she move away from here and not come back. I don't trust her not to try and take Maya again, so I want her gone. Can you agree to this?"

Carlisle looked somewhat relieved. _Did he really think we would kill her? _"Thank you, Jacob. Yes, I can agree to that. You are being very generous and I appreciate all of the thought that you put into your decision. Emmett will be very grateful, I know. Their things are packed and they are ready to leave. I can tell you that Rose is very remorseful. She is devastated at her behavior and I assure you that Maya will be safe. She will not try anything like that again."

"I hope not. My daughter and my wife mean everything to me. I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe."

"I understand that. My family is very important to me, too. Thank you, Jacob." Carlisle held out his hand and Jake took it. The deal was made and this nightmare was finally over.

Esme stood up and handed Maya to me. "Thank you, Leah, for allowing me to hold her. She is so precious." I nodded as I took Maya and Esme smiled then rushed to Carlisle's side. Bella and Edward stood to go and Bella came over to look at Maya once again. "You are very lucky, Leah," she said softly.

"I know," I replied. She smiled at me then went to Edward.

Sam opened the front door for them and they all filed out. He closed the door and looked at Jake. "Man, it stinks in here!" We all laughed at that. He and Jake opened a few windows to help it air out.

"God, I'm glad that's over with," Jake sighed. "I guess it went OK, though."

"You did very well. You were very diplomatic," I told him. He rolled his eyes at that.

"Yea, you were way too nice," Sam said. "You need to get a little meaner."

"Like you?" I said.

"Damn right!" he said with a laugh. "Come on. Let me hold this baby before I go."

"Are you sure? She has vampire stink all over her."

"I don't care about that." I handed Maya to him and he held her close. "Hey, little one. It's your Uncle Sam. Are you gonna open your pretty little eyes and look at me?" And she did! She opened her eyes and stared at Sam and he smiled. "Look at that. Yea, you love your Uncle Sam, don't you?"

I looked over to Jake and could see there was still a little jealousy in his eyes when he looked at Sam. I hated that I had put that there and it wouldn't go away. I walked over to him and put my arms around his waist. His arm slipped around mine, but he never took his eyes off of Sam.

Finally, Sam said, "I gotta go." Jake stepped forward to take Maya from him. "I told Em I wouldn't be long. She's holding dinner for me." Jake nodded. "Good to see you're OK. You're back in charge now, Alpha Jake."

"Great. Yippee. Yahoo," Jake said very unenthusiastically.

Sam just laughed. "Talk to you tomorrow." Then he opened the door and left.

"Well, I am going to take this one upstairs and give her a bath," I said as I reached for Maya. I took her and said, "Pee-yew! You stink, little girl."

"I'll come, too." I smiled at Jake as we turned and walked up the stairs to give our daughter a bath. It still amazed me how much our life had changed in the last year. We went from two lonely, broken people, to being a family. I could never have imagined it, yet now, I couldn't imagine it not being this way. It was so natural being with Jake. And I was feeling better about being a mom. I guess I was starting to get the hang of it.

As Jake started Maya's bath water, I thought how everything that happened with Sam imprinting on Emily, and Bella choosing Edward over Jake, was so painful, but so necessary. It made us into the people that we are now, and brought us to each other. I loved Sam, but now, I can see that Sam and I weren't meant to be together. We didn't fit like Jake and I do. And well, I never understood what Jake saw in Bella, but I'm pretty sure he could never have been happy with her. She was such a drama queen and Jake would have been exhausted mentally and emotionally trying to keep up with her. Jake and I belong together and it took the journey we walked to get us where we were today.

"You're awfully quiet," Jake said beside me. We were kneeling beside the tub and Jake had put Maya's little foamy bath form in the tub for her to lay on. I laid her carefully down on the mat as Jake poured the baby soap onto a washcloth.

"Just thinking about the road that brought us to where we are today. I'm amazed at how much our lives have changed."

He smiled at me and then leaned forward to kiss me. "I'm so glad we're here, together, and that we have Maya. I can't imagine my life turning out any differently."

I smiled and said, "Me, either."

A/N: Aren't you glad they ened up happy? I've always wanted these two characters to have a happy ending. Thank you, thank you, thank you, to all of you faithful readers out there! I so appreciate your comments and reviews! I am going to take a break from fan fic for a little white to concentrate on trying to write a story of my own. I may be back . . . I have some other ideas. Paul is a character I would love to dig into someday . . . Thanks again!


End file.
